Running Back
by Destany Mitchell
Summary: A Season 3 Fic based off of the Season 2 Sides for Date With The Night. This fic deals with the pictures, Tommy's disappearance and new types of drama. Hope you check it out!
1. Prologue

**Running Back**

**Summary: **Season 3 Fic using season 2: Date With The Night Episode Sides for the closing episode.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing…except original characters; though if I did own Instant Star, I'd be one happy clam.

**Prologue**

"_Let me, take you, to dinner." He had told me. My heart skipped a beat at his words. _

"_Like a date?" I had asked, feeling all girly and excited. He didn't exactly say yes, but he didn't say no either. His demeanor of semi-nervousness and the way he looked over my head when he nodded told me that it was. It had taken me everything I had not to jump his bones those very seconds. _

_Because, hello! Tom Quincy asked **me**, Jude Elizabeth Harrison on a date! A **dinner** date!_

The problem? I'm sitting at the agreed upon restaurant; a relatively small, but fancy and homely place just down the street of my last performance. OK, so maybe he was late. And I was more nervous than any girl should be.

Thoughts were running through my head unchecked as I glanced at my watch once more. _Maybe he realized what he did and backed out. What if he got in a car accident and…maybe…Shut up Brain! _

I sighed and needed to do something to take my mind off my thoughts and to stop fidgeting in my seat. I picked up my napkin and began to tear it up into small pieces. It was a nervous habit I picked up from Jamie, and it seemed to help. My table, thankfully, was close to the door and I kept watching it like a hawk.

"Miss?" The waiter said, standing before me. I glanced at him and caught a look of annoyance on his features. I kept telling him to wait a minute, that he'd be here. I was beginning to think otherwise, but I didn't let him know it.

"He'll be here in a minute. Thanks." I said, glancing uncertaintly at the door. I blew out a sigh and dropped my hands to the table when a piece of my napkin shreds floated up from the table and fell right into the candle flame that was in the center of my table (all the tables had a candle in the center). I glanced around frantically a moment and put it out, hoping no one noticed.

"Hi Jude." A serious voice said.

I glanced up in shock and confusion. Jamie Andrews, former boyfriend, current…whatever stood before me, looking anxious. _Oh, this can't be good._ I thought in horror as Jamie fidgeted before me.

"Oh my god. What? What's wrong?" I asked him, hoping nothing bad had happened to Jamie's Nana. She was getting pretty old and…I stopped my thoughts as Jamie sat down, rather reluctant looking, across from me. He picked up the other napkin and tore a piece off. My heart stopped and my blood ran cold. _This is not good. _

"I'm suppose to make sure you're ok." Jamie muttered, not really meeting my eyes and his voice so low I didn't think he really spoke. I don't think I ever felt more unease in that moment than I ever did in my life. _What the hell does that mean? _Jamie's fingers continued to tear rapidly at the napkin and I reached across the table and placed my hands on top of his to make him stop.

"This is _not_ making me ok." I said, tears stinging my eyes. _Oh my…what if something happened to Tommy!_

"Tommy—had to go. He couldn't say what was going on, so…I don't know." Jamie said.

"Go? What's go? For how long!" I demanded. Panic was overwhelming me and I couldn't do anything but wait for Jamie to tell me what he knew. _He's leaving! And he didn't even say goodbye! _Jamie's eyes softened and his eyes got this sympathetic look in his brown depths.

"I'm suppose to make sure you're ok. It's all I know." Jamie said honestly.

I glanced at Jamie once before leaping from my seat, purse in hand and rushing out of the restaurant. I was going to get answers. I had to. I had to find him. I needed to know what was going on and if he was ok.

I drove my '68 Mustang to Tom's apartment building. I had been there once before, but never inside. It was one time when Tommy was driving me to work and I guess he forgot something at home and needed to stop and pick something up. I parked my car and leaped out of it and ran into the lobby, glancing around frantically for any sign of Tommy.

"Miss, I'm sorry-" An elderly doorman began to say.

"Tom Quincy – we work together? I can show you my license or…" I said, my voice breaking and pleading with the man before me. I guess I looked desperate enough because the doorman gazed at me with a look of pure sympathy. "Where did he go?" I asked, my voice lowering and tears filling my eyes. "Please?" I practically begged, hoping he'd know something, anything that would lead me to my blue-eyed prince.

The doorman looked uncertain for a moment and sighed. "He was flying privately."

"Thank you!" I called out as I rushed out the door and back out to my car.

I didn't end up making it that night. I made it to the airport, but I couldn't get in. I had to stop just outside the fence and I watched helplessly as Tommy boarded a private jet. I had called out to him, knowing I'd never be able to climb the chain-linked fence that separated us and run down the runway to the jet in time. I screamed out his name, repeatedly, and he didn't hear me, or just didn't acknowledge me; I don't know for sure which it really was.

I watched as his plane took off, tears streaming down my face as my mentor, muse, best friend, and love flew off to an unknown location, leaving me more alone than I ever felt in my life.

I had went back to G Major; I tried to play the good girl and stay for my album release party, but I couldn't save face. I wanted nothing more than to stay in the studio and cry for my loss. Sadie had tried to comfort me; she might have succeeded if Liam hadn't interrupted and gave me a 'pep talk'. I knew than that I couldn't stay. They wanted me to be the poster girl and I just couldn't do it. No one seemed to truly understand that my heart was broken, my world was upside down and the one person who could fix me was probably millions of kilometers away from me.

So, I ran. I ran to the one person left I thought could understand me – Mason Fox and his performance in Berry.

I got drunk that night. Courtesy of a fan, I guess. I don't remember the whole night too well, but Jamie had found me the next morning and convinced me to come home. He helped me realize that I had to go home and 'face the music' and stop hiding from the world.

Jamie had followed me home and walked me through the door when I got home. I don't know if he thought I was going to run again or what, but the gesture was nice. It kind of reminded me of the old Jamie; the Jamie that was my best friend and not this…weird post-break-up guy I occasionally talked to.

Dad yelled at me for running off and Sadie said she'd go with me to work; I guess she thought I needed the extra support and I was thankful for my big sister. As we left the house, Jamie came running up to me.

"Jude!" He called.

I stopped and Jamie handed me a slip of paper. I glanced at it and noticed an address on it.

"What do I do?" I asked, outloud. _What did he want me to do with this information? _

"I don't think he'll bump you off. And if he does, I'll get vengeance." Jamie said, half jokingly. I smiled thankfully at him.

"You're so good. _Too _good. I'll try and be ok, ok?" I assured him. "I'm sorry you were the guy who got asked to…"

Jamie stopped my words by reaching over and giving my shoulder a light squeeze. We clanked into each others eyes and for the first time in awhile, I thought we were really ok.

"Aw-kward. But if anyone can do it, it's you." Jamie said encouragingly.

"I'll tell Dad. Good luck." Sadie said, winking at me as Jamie and I headed off.

Later that morning, I found Darius inside a local convenience store. He was standing at the magazine rack, looking through some industry 'zine. I watched him a moment before taking a deep breath and approaching him.

"Hi. Aren't you Darius Mills?" I asked, trying to keep everything light to take the edge off my nervousness.

"Did you use to be Jude Harrison?" He countered.

"Am I gonna be the first murder committed with a honey bun and a crossword mag?" I asked.

"Where's Tommy!" Darius demanded of me, placing the magazine down and his dark eyes boring into mine. I felt like an insect under a microscope and I held back a gulp.

"No idea." I said, honestly.

"You didn't run off with him?" Darius asked, looking surprised. I glanced at him in confusion. _Why would he think_ – "You only made the _second_ biggest mistake of your life." Darius added.

"I guess." I agreed, not wanting to argue or analyze too much. Darius looked straight into my eyes and asked in a serious tone. "you _ever_ pull an act like that again? You're through. Now, anything else I need to know before I let you back? Cause, I can manager anything I know."

My mind flashed back to that bar in Berry.

"No." I answered, hoping it was true.

"Good." Darius said with finality and picked up the magazine he was looking at previously, flipped a few pages and handed it to me. I took it from him and I gasped when I saw what he had seen.

"Most artists have a breakdown _after_ they hit number one. But you had to go and be all different hu?" He said, smiling and patting me on the arm. "My office, next week. We'll talk about what's next for you then." He said before leaving.

I nodded slightly and my eyes just kept gazing at the billboard chart before me.

Position: Number One. Artist: Jude Harrison. Song: My Sweet Time. Album: Learning Curve.

And the one person I wanted to celebrate with, was AWOL.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Next Week**

Darius had called me on Friday and commanded my attendance in his office, Monday morning at G Records. He said something about discussing reconciliation and me skipping out on my album release party. Honestly? The only thing that kept me going was the thought that maybe Tommy would come back and kiss me hello and tell me he missed me and he was sorry he left or I'd wake up and everything was a big nightmare I had when I fell asleep at the restaurant waiting for him to show up…or something like that.

I was just going through the motions. I woke up feeling depressed and I cried myself to sleep each night. Every few minutes I would pick up my phone and contemplating leaving another message. I never got a call back, but it was soothing just hearing the voice mail; it at least got me through another hour of heart ache and longing. I know I'm probably pushing the line between concerned girl…well…friend to stalker the night he left.

I had actually gotten up early today and got into the studio. I wanted to get this done and over. I secretly hoped for Darius to ban me from the studio. It would give me time away and…well…I kind of wanted to go and look for _him. _Jamie apparently needs to quit his day job and become a detective; along with the boys of SME. Apparently, the four of them ganged up and did a bit of digging and found an address where they _think _I could find Tommy. It was one of Tom's family members, in Montana. I don't know the details, but all I know was Jamie handed me the slip of paper and I wanted to go after him.

I want to believe that it's some kind of family thing and his cell died and he was too busy to pack the charger and he just didn't know I called. But then again, he knew I'd be worried – I hope – and would call me anyway. I sighed heavily. It's the one thought that has been bothering me. _Why didn't he call!_

I pulled into the parking lot of G Major with those thoughts in my mind. I walked into the lobby of G Major; it still surprised me every time I walked into the joint. I still expected to see Georgia's warm smile and EJ's constant scowl. I knocked lightly on the B D's office door and he called for me to come in. I entered the room and closed the door softly behind me. Darius glanced up and motioned for me to sit. I sat down and waited anxiously as he finished reading some kind of report before setting it down neatly on his desk and folding his hands together and staring at me a long moment.

"I should kick you out for that stunt you pulled." Darius began. I could…didn't say anything. What was there for me to say? What _could_ I say?

"I appreciate it." I said, not really knowing what to say, but Darius look satisfied at my response, so I guess it was the right thing to say.

"I'm having a showcase party at the end of the month for the newer artists at G Major and my other labels. I want you to be there Jude; As the headliner."

"Ok." I said, and Darius smiled.

"With Tom running off, I'm short on producers. I thought…maybe you could use a break for a bit." Darius said, his voice getting softer, as if he knew I didn't want to be there.

"Darius, I don't"

"Jude. Take a couple months off, rest. Relax, write songs, go on vacation, whatever. Just inform me where you go Kid." Darius said with a sigh.

I nodded. A vacation didn't sound so bad at all. My hand slipped subconsciously into my coat pocket where my hand curled around the slip of paper with a Montana address scrawled on it.

A vacation sounded very good.

"Any Questions?"

I shook my head. What else was there to say? Darius smiled warmly at me and I gave him a small goodbye and left the office. As I walked out, I was stopped by my sister Sadie. It was still weird to have her working at G Major. As if I didn't see enough of her at home.

"Jude!" She had called. I stopped in my tracks and glanced at my sister questioningly. "This came for you." She said, handing me a relatively large manila envelope. I took it from her, confusion evident on my face. I frowned as I glanced at the unfamiliar return address.

"Fan mail already eh?" Sadie said, her tone lightly teasing me. I shrugged.

"Probably just junk. See ya at home Sades." I said, walking out the doors casusally and out to my car, envelope in hand.

I got into my car, shut the door and glanced at the envelope once again. Something about it gave me a weird feeling and I wasn't in the mood to read it –whatever it may be. I tossed it into the passenger seat and I started my car and drove for home, deciding I'd look at the contents later.

I walked into my empty house and plopped down on the couch. I stared at the envelope for awhile, turning it over in my hands. I sighed and flipped it over once last time and tore open the seal.

I shoved my hand into it and felt something glossy and smooth. The texture was familiar and I pulled the contents out and gasped as I looked at it.

My hand shook as I dropped the contents and I felt my stomach begin to rebel and nausea beginning to consume my body. I ran for the bathroom, my hand over my mouth. I barely made it to the toilet before the contents of my stomach ended up in the toilet in the small bathroom downstairs.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Wow! I'm glad you guys are liking so far! I want to let you know, I had this fic up on another site, so there's lots wrote, just not put here. I'll probably be updating multiple chapters daily to get caught up. Be on the lookout for lots of updates; Today, I have 4 for you guys. :D Enjoy the update mania while it lasts; after that, it'll be weekly or biweekly updates. Glad you guys are liking! As always, reviews are mucho appreciated!

**Chapter 2**

I left the bathroom not feeling all that much better. I walked shakily back into the living room, a hand over my mouth. From shock, or for fear of the nausea returning, I don't know which; but that gesture was all that was keeping me from screaming until my vocal cords were raw. I bent down and picked up the pictures in my left hand, my fingers shaking as I gathered them together. I flipped through the pictures, feeling sicker than I ever felt in my life.

They were all of me, in that club in Barrie, in the hotel room and I had a fleeting flashback of that room and passing out on the bed, a flash of light coming at me. I mentally panicked a moment as I dropped those pictures. There were some pretty risqué pictures of me laying on that hotel bed.

I let out a whimper and shoved the pictures back in the envelope. As I did, I saw a piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up and read the messy scrawl

"50,000 or these go to the press." It read.

I let out an anguished scream and I closed my fist around the note. That bastard! Was all I could think. I sat down on the couch. How could I have been so stupid!

I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed my cell and began dialing with shaking fingers. I made it through the second ring before I disconnected.

God I'm pathetic. He **_left_** _me_ and I keep on calling him, pleading for a call back, and damn it, sometimes I just call to hear his voice. I have a problem and my first instinct is to run to Tommy. But Tommy wasn't here and I still had a problem. I sighed and turned my cell off.

I've seen CSI, I've watched other cop shows; I'm not stupid – though my sister frequently reminds me of my poor grades. I know blackmail when I see it and suddenly, I wasn't so afraid. If I paid him, he'd keep coming back, always asking for more money and I'd never ditch the guy. I had to be strong; I had to stand on my own.

I won't let Tommy or some random guy from the bar break me.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Week Later**

I was currently in the studio, wrapping up my rehearsal with SME. Thankfully Speed and the boys still agreed to be my band – on top of working on the SME solo. I was thankful for those guys; I honestly don't know what I'd do without them.

"Take my sweet time

I'll be home again

In my own sweet time

Yeah yeah

In my own sweet time…

Yeah yeah

In my own sweet time

Yeah." I sang out and SME closed the song with me. I smiled at the boys as we finished our tenth rehearsal of Sweet Time.

"That sounded good guys!" Kwest's excited voice came over the studio speakers and I felt a pang in tug at my heart. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see Tommy's smiling face at a great rehearsal and final wrap. But alas, he was still gone and Kwest's happy face was the only one that greeted me.

The boys were putting their instruments away and I sighed as I pushed the mic away from me and pulled my guitar strap over my head and walked across the room to my own guitar case.

"So, punk princess, wanna go out with us?" Speed asked me, his voice casual and I glanced up at him. Since we broke up, nothing really changed between us. I felt slightly awkward, but he'd joke or smile and it'd make me feel better. I gave Speed a small smile.

"No thanks." I said, not feeling like going out. "I'm gonna go home; rest up." I said with a small nod. Speed looked slightly disappointed but said nothing in response. I closed my guitar case and picked it up. I waved goodbye to Kwest and walked out of the studio and out to my car. I stopped when I walked through the door.

There was a solitary figure leaned against my Mustang. I couldn't make out who it was in the low lighting, the sun was almost set, and the person wore a dark hoodie with the hood over the face. I got this strange feeling and I almost turned around to go back inside when I pushed the thought aside. It was probably Jamie or something. I thought to myself as I adjusted my guitar case and walked over to my car, my hand going into my pocket for my cell phone just in case I needed it.

The person looked over at me and I still couldn't see the face. As I stepped closer, the person moved from against my car and came closer to me. I was almost to my car when we stood face to face. I still couldn't see the person's full face; the hood shadowed the face to the nose.

"Can I help you?" I asked, feeling my heart pound. I felt the person's fingers dig into my arm through my sweatshirt and I winced painfully.

"Did you get my present?" The person asked and I felt my breath escape my lungs and suddenly, I couldn't breathe. He gave me a little shake and shoved me roughly against my car. I cried out in pain and winced as he held me tightly. "Did you?" He demanded and I felt more afraid then than ever in my life.

"Yes." I said as his grip loosened slightly.

"Good. I want my money." He told me.

"I don't have it." I said. It was true; I probably had 50 grand to my name, but I couldn't touch it. I had a trust fund that I couldn't touch until I was 19 years old. My parents gave me allowance out of my checks, and the rest? Straight into the bank.

"That's a shame." He said, and his hand went up to my cheek and caressed it and I felt like I could vomit again. I didn't want him to touch me; I didn't want him to look at me. It was a bit late for that now, but I was drunk and heartbroken when I first met…what the hell was his name? Did I even get his name? "Know what you're gonna do Jude? Hu?" He asked. I shook my head and he slammed me into my car once again and I bit my lip to keep from crying out again. I couldn't help the whimper that escaped the back of my throat and he smiled at me.

"You're gonna go home Jude. I want a check with my name on it for 50 grand in two weeks or those pictures are leaked to the press." He told me, his voice low and dangerous.

"I can't exactly write a check to someone I don't know a name of."

"Have it wrote out to Damien." He instructed me. Before I could say more, the doors to G Major opened and Damien leaped away from me. Speed, Kyle, and Wally walked outside and glanced at me. "I'll contact you." He muttered to me before walking off. I leaned against my car for support, afraid my legs wouldn't hold me. I start shaking and I watched as Damien disappeared down the street.

"Jude?"

"yeah?" I asked, turning to face three concerned faces.

"You ok?" Wally asked me, and I nodded, probably a bit too vigorously.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, hoping my voice wasn't shaking like the rest of me. The boys didn't look convinced. "Just some homeless guy begging. Really, I'm fine." I said, turning to my car and unlocking the door.

"Are you sure you don't"

"I'm fine!" I snapped and Speed looked at me in surprise.

"Speed, I'm"

"Let's go Guys." Speed said, looking hurt and Kyle and Speed walked off. Wally frowned as he looked at me a moment before he turned and followed Speed and Kyle. I watched them go, feeling ashamed for the way I snapped at them. I sighed and slipped my guitar into the backseat and slid into the driver's seat. I started my car and locked the doors. I took a couple deep breaths and pulled out of the parking lot.

As I drove my way home, tears ran down my pale face. _What was I going to do? _I wondered.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I stepped outside into the cool Montana air. I shivered slightly as I pulled my jacket closer and shoved my ungloved hands into my pockets to keep them warm. I leaned against the house and glanced up at the sky; almost as if the answers to all my problems were located up there. I sighed heavily and glanced at the ground, feeling anxious; like a caged animal just wanting to go out; And like a caged animal, I was trapped here. Stuck until some god forsaken time I was finally deemed free. I shoved off the wall and began walking down a path I hadn't in over eight years.

I had to get away – to think. I'd avoided this place successfully for the last eight years of my life. This house, deep in the Montana wilderness, was always my own private hell. And now, I was back. I let out a bitter laugh as I continued to walk, the freshly fallen snow crunching beneath my feet.

I heard someone calling my name in the distance and I ignored the all to familiar voice and pretended I didn't hear who was calling me. I kept walking towards the back of the property, getting as far away from _them_, from everyone as I could.

As I walked, my mind drifted back to Jude. I sighed heavily when I thought about her. Whenever I thought about Jude, it always gave me mixed emotions. I loved her; I know that now – have known for a couple months, but our age difference was a problem. Some people say love knows no age; Love doesn't, but people do. I don't think Darius would like it if his VP and Head Producer began 'shaking up' with his number one artist; Not to mention the media attention and what her family would say.

I know I should call her; should have called her and told her what was going on, but I don't think I could even if I wanted to. I still can't believe what brought me back here. I don't think the reality has fully hit and if no one knows, then it's not happening. I don't have to face reality. I scoffed. I was always good at running away. I guess Dad was right when he said I'm a coward.

I pulled my hand out of my pocket along with my cell phone. I always got this far; I'd pull my cell out and all I had to do was press and hold 1; Jude's speed dial. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and I glanced at the display and saw it proclaiming "No Service". I smiled at the irony before banishing my cell back to my pocket. 'Best all over service' my ass. I don't think I've had a bar since I landed in this god forsaken place.

I felt a pang in my heart as I thought more of Jude and my cowardice. God I missed her. I don't think I ever fully understood how much I needed her until I got _here_. Sure, it was a slap in the face when she hated me for 'cheating' on her sister; and for the record, I never did such a thing. I never even _though_ about cheating on Sadie; trust me, that's a first and I even managed to forget I was in love with her 16 year old sister at the time.

I seriously thought I had lost her when she fired me off her album. But this…it was a different pain. At least back then, I still saw her, was still able to make sure she was ok. And now, I'm hurting her, _again, _despite personal promises I made to myself.

I let out a groan and muttered a few choice words under my breath. She must really hate me right now. It was taking me _everything_ I had to stay here; to be reminded every day what I disgrace to the family I am, what a screw up and a disappointment.

I'm not stupid or jaded to the fact my lifestyle a few years ago wasn't the best…morally. I'm not exactly proud of it now, but I can't change the past and it was my life to live. I let the fame get to me; change me in ways I'm only now beginning to comprehend. I will never make excuses for myself. I know I'm not perfect, but my family has shunned me since I was seven and found out I'm dyslexic. The frosting on the cake? I dropped out of school and joined a band; Not to many people could figure out that music was the only thing that ever made sense to me; still the only thing.

I sighed and shook my head to clear my thoughts. I didn't want to be thinking about that now. I started walking again, trying to go from memory of my childhood and find the clearing in the woods I use to run away to when I was a kid. As I walked, my mind went back to Jude again; her voice, her smiling face. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

_I really hope Jude's ok_. I came to the clearing and I smiled slightly before leaning against a tree and closing my eyes. _Cuz_ _God knows I'm not_.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Glad you guys are liking thus far! Another couple of updates for you guys and, as always, reviews are appreciated.

**Chapter 5**

It has been three days since I last saw Damien at G Major. I hadn't heard a word from him for over a day and it was odd, because I really thought I'd hear more than just that.

I guess I should have enjoyed the 32 hour span of time he ignored me or didn't have time to harass me. My phone rang for the first time almost exactly a day and a half after I met him. I didn't answer my cell; I never do. I hadn't known the number originally and I figured if it was important, the person would leave me a message; or in Damien's case, about 10 messages an hour, on the hour.

I finally kept my phone off and I never bother to turn it on or check the messages; I probably have a full mailbox with messages from him saying "do you have my money?" and "remember our deal".

I'm starting to feel afraid and confused. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I can't tell my dad this. I don't think he'd take the 'well, you see dad, I was so depressed I ran after Mason, got drunk and now the kid who bought me drinks is trying to blackmail me and the only way he'll stop is if I give him 50 g's.' I don't see that going over so well.

I ran some errands for my dad earlier today. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what, but the whole time I was gone, I had this feeling like someone was following me. I'd look around and no one would be there, but I don't know. I can't explain the feeling, but I know someone was watching me and it's downright creepy. I really don't know how much more of this I can take; all I know is I'm nearly afraid to leave my house and I jump every time the phone rings.

It's currently early evening and I was on garbage duty – the lucky kid who got to take the trash from the garage to the curb for the next morning pick up. I had just finished dragging out the last can and I stood back and took a deep breath.

"Hello Jude." A cocky voice came from behind me. My eye widened and I swear my face must have turned the color of fresh fallen snow. I took a deep breath and turned around to face Damien; my current reason of insanity. "How's my money coming?" He asked.

"It takes time to get that kind of cash." I stated, my voice strong, but I didn't feel as confident as I sounded. I seriously wondered if he'd kill me or hurt me before the money deadline was due. I think that thought scared me more than those pictures being leaked to the press; I could deal with bad publicity. I don't think I could deal with some asshole beating the crap out of me.

"Better hope it don't take too long." He said, stepping closer to me.

"I'll get you your money." I said, taking a step backwards, closer to the house, but slowly enough I hoped he wouldn't realize my intention. He kept following me and he reached out to touch my arm. "Don't touch me." I snapped, my voice sharp and I was proud of myself. My heart was racing a mile a minute from fear and My voice managed to stay calm. I guess I should be an actress or something. I took a couple more steps back and my back hit cool metal and I glanced behind me to see Sadie's car. _Damn it! Since when does Sadie park here? _I glanced back and Damien was close against me, his hands were resting on Sadie's car, and his body pressed against mine; Not too heavily, but enough to make me want to hurl at the contact.

"Too late for that." He said and leaned closer to me. I closed my eyes tightly and I felt his arm grab mine, roughly, completely pinning me against the car. I heard a low whimper escape my throat. I felt tears starting to stream down my face and then, his arm was gone and he was away from me quicker than a snake striking a mouse. I blinked up, my vision blurry from tears. I saw Jamie standing outside his house, even in the distance, I could see his eyes were narrowed.

"Jude?" I heard Jamie say and Damien turned to me and gave me a look that said 'We're not done' and turned to Jamie, smiling sweetly. Jamie walked over to us and stood close to me, facing Damien and I don't think I ever felt so relieved to see Jamie in my life; sure, Jamie was a wimp; always was, always would be. But dang it, Jamie's got that tougher attitude going if you get him mad enough.

"There a problem?" Jamie asked casually, glancing at me quickly and back at Damien, knowing I wasn't alright and that was enough for him to know.

"Nope." Damien said, flashing Jamie a false smile and turned and walked silently away. Jamie watched him go and I sagged against Sadie's car, letting my tears fall freely as I looked down at my whose.

"Jude, what's going on? Who was that guy?" Jamie asked me once Damien was out of sight.

I shook my head vigorously as tears streamed down my face.

"Jude?"

I couldn't answer him as I let ouf a shaking sob. Jamie's arms circled around me and he pulled me to his chest as I cried and sobbed. Jamie's hands stroked my hair soothingly as I wrapped my arms around him and let him comfort me. As my sobs quieted, I sniffed and finally pulled back from Jamie. His green eyes were soft as he looked down into my eyes.

"You ok?" He asked. I shook my head negatively. "You want to talk." He asked as I wiped my eyes.

"I don't know what to do Jamie." I said with a shaking breath.

"Come on. Let's go talk." Jamie said, wrapping an arm around my waist to help steady me as we walked across the lawn and into his house next door. I kept quiet for awhile as he got me some Camille tea (though I hated the stuff, he made me drink it) and then I spilled everything to Jamie; I told him about Damien, the blackmail, Mason, Tommy, everything.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**The Next Day**

I pulled into the parking lot of G Major and cut the engine of my car. I sank back into the seat took a deep breathe to calm my frazzled nerves. Jamie and I had stayed up all night talking about everything. After I spilled and cried my eyes out, Jamie made me laugh and cheered me up a bit before he sternly convinced me to go talk to Darius. He convinced me, rightly, that Darius would know what to do and be able to keep everything out of the press. I knew he was right, but I'm still scared of what D would do. I reached across the seat and picked up the envelope on the seat next to me and felt my hand start shaking. I glanced up at G Major and took another deep breathe.

"It's now or never." I told myself as I opened the car door and closed it behind me. I shifted the weight on my feet nervously a moment and glanced around the parking lot for any sign of Damien. I was paranoid of running into him again; and rightly so I believe. Once satisfied I didn't see a sign of Damien, I walked into the lobby of G Major and asked Sadie if Darius was free. She glanced at the appointment book and said no. I thanked her and began to walk away from her.

"Jude?" I paused and didn't turn around.

"Everything ok?" She asked me, her voice sounding genuinely concerned.

"I hope so." I answered back and walked down the hall to Darius's office. I paused outside the heavy oak door and raised my fist. I took another deep breath and knocked on the door. I heard Darius's booming voice say "Come in". I sighed and opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind me.

"Jude?" Darius said, looking surprised to see me. "Come, sit." He said, motioning for me to sit down across from him. He shuffled some papers around and glanced at my curiously.

"I was wondering if you had a free moment to talk." I said, my voice shaky. Darius's stern eyes softened slightly.

"I always have a moment for my artists Jude, you know that." Darius said and studied her a moment. "What's up?" He asked, looking concerned.

"I…I'm being blackmailed." I stated simply. Darius frowned.

"Jude, you know that's serious-" I handed Darius the manilla envelope in my hand. Darius looked at me curiously and opened the envelope and he glanced at the pictures quickly and read the note.

"Spill." He said, looking up with stern eyes.

"I…the night of my release party, I went to Barrie to Mason's concert. I was upset about Tommy leaving and I met this guy." I said and Darius didn't look pleased. "I know, I should have told you before, but I didn't…"

"Did you know he was taking pictures?"

"For the most part. The ones at the bar I knew about."

"And you didn't tell me because?"

"Because I was afraid."

"Of this?" He asked, I shook my head.

"Of what you would think." I said, and took a deep breathe. "I got the pictures a few days ago; I just…I got freaked. I know I can't pay him; he's been calling me and…and he's been following me. He wants the money in less than two weeks." I said, tears spilling down my face. Darius's face remained stoic and I looked away from him. I knew I deserved to be terminated; fired. But I was honestly afraid of Damien; of what he'd do and how he'd do it.

"Jude, you should have told me about this first, you know that." Darius said and I looked up at him. "I want this to be a lesson to you, Jude. I can handle these kinds of freaks. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time it happens to my artists, but Jude?" His eyes softened slightly. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me." He stated. I nodded in agreement and he gave me a reassuring smile. "Good, now that that's covered, I'm going to notify the police on this." I glanced up, a fearful expression on my face. "We have to Jude. I know some people, it'll stay quiet. They'll have to ask you some questions, and hopefully we'll get this bastard before we need to do some damage control." I nodded.

"Thanks Darius." I said, tears still in my eyes.

"Go home Jude; get some rest. I'm going to be honest with you, this'll probably get worst before it gets better. I hope it doesn't come down to it, but you might want to consider leaving town for awhile; go visit an old friend or something." He suggested. I nodded.

"I'll think about it." I said and Darius gave me a small smile.

"Good. Now go rest up. You still have to perform on Saturday." He said, his voice light and slightly joking. I smiled at him, thankful for the light comment. I got up from my seat, feeling loads better than I did when I spilled to Jamie and left Darius's office and G Major with renewed confidence.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Saturday**

It's the big day; the day that I finally relieve myself of debt to Darius Mills about my album party. I stood behind the stage of the large auditorium, determined to sing and leave. I didn't want to deal with the press; I didn't want to schmooze some shareholders or board members or whatever. I wanted to sing my song, and go home and eat a gallon of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and watch My Fair Lady and sob over how pathetic poor Freddy is.

It's been eerily quiet on the Damien front. He's called me only a couple times and the meeting with the police was easier than I thought it would be. They asked some basic questions and since I didn't know his last name, I had to meet with a sketch artist to make a composite of what he looked like. All-in-all, it wasn't too difficult. I was suppose to call the police if I heard from him, when I heard from him and all that jazz. I don't really know how it's all suppose to work, but apparently they know what they're doing and Darius is paying them some big money to help me so I don't question it.

"Hey Dude!" Speed's cheery voice came from behind me. I sighed and glanced at my ex-boyfriend, Vince Spiederman.

"Hi Speed." I greeted, glancing away from him and back towards the curtain for the stage. Mason Fox was still finishing up his final act. There was another artist and then me; followed by SME solo stuff, and I don't know who after that. I didn't really care. I didn't plan on sticking around that long.

"Hey, um, Jude, there's something I wanted you to know-"

"Speed, what-" Before I could finish my sentence, the crowed erupted into applause and Mason ran back behind the stage and grinned happily at me. I couldn't help but smile at his infectious smile and he sweeped me into a hug before backing up and glancing at Speed.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" He asked, looking sheepish. I shrugged and Speed didn't make any action.

"You were great Fox!" I said. It was true…kinda. I had only half listened to Mason's performance; I mean, I had seen the whole thing in Barrie…

"Thanks Jude. It means a lot coming from you." He said honestly and beamed once more at me before rushing off to the dressing room to change. "Oh, Jude!" He called, walking backwards through the busy backstage. "Break a leg if I don't see ya!"

"Thanks Mason!" I yelled back and laughed as he backed into a stagehand. I glanced back at Speed after I was finished laughing; God that had felt good; I hadn't really laughed in awhile.

"What were you going to-"

"We'll talk later, ok?" Speed said, looking uncertainly at me a moment before rushing off to join Kyle and Wally. Kyle was flirting with some chick who was working lighting and Wally was looking bored. I frowned as I watched Speed rush off and I shrugged it off. It was probably just Speed being Speed.

"Jude!" A booming voice called. I turned and saw my Manager and Label Owner, Darius Mills, walking up behind me, a beaming smile on his face. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and played with the ends of my hair a bit. "You feeling good?" He asked me. I watched Darius skeptically. Darius was never deliriously happy.

"Ready to rock." I said, smiling at him. Darius had been really good to me lately and it was a pleasant change.

"Good." He said, patting me on the back, almost a bit too hard, and rushed off to do…whatever it was Darius did at these things. I shook my head and turned my attention away from Darius.

"He's had a bit too much to drink." Kwest stated, walking up to me and glancing at the next performer on the stage and then back to me.

"Apparently." I said, nodding in agreement.

"You ok, Jude?" He asked me, and I glanced up at my substitute producer.

"I'll live Kwest." I said, quickly and looking away from him.

"Hey, you and SME, you guys rock. You're rehearsals have been good…you have nothing to worry about." I glanced at Kwest and shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. "What?"  
"Trying the ole pep talk?"

"It seemed to always work for Tom." Kwest said, shrugging. I shrugged nonchalantly. I felt my heart tug at his name and I looked down at the floor away from Kwest's prying eyes. "Jude-"

"It's fine Kwest." I said, my voice slightly shaky. I hated this feeling; I hated the fact I couldn't hear his name or even think about him without having a near breakdown. Kwest looked like he wanted to say something but the small act before me had finished and the announcer was introducing me and SME. I glanced at Kwest, gave him a small smile and walked onto stage with Speed, Wally, and Kyle. The crowd cheered at us and I couldn't help but smile at the crowd of record execs, paparazzi, and staff of G Major and other labels Darius ran. Apparently Shay was suppose to be here later and I was determined not to run into my other ex.

The boys started up and I bobbed in time with the music and picked up my mic from the mic stand. We were starting with my number one hit, My Sweet Time and move onto How I Feel, to White Lines (D's favorite) and finish with Who Am I Fooling. It was a short line-up, but Darius had wanted to 'good ones' and that's what we were performing. As I began to sing and focus on performing, I couldn't help but feel happier, more elated. I felt like nothing could stop me or get me down. And after I finished my line-up, with a louder applause than anyone else had gotten all day, and then ran off the stage with my boys, I found out I couldn't have been further from the truth.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Wow, I'm glad you guys are enjoying this:D A shorter update today, but I hope it's not a disappointment. Hope you guys enjoy!

**Chapter 8**

Darius met me as I ran off the stage; his earlier good humored look had turned stoically blank. He didn't look happy and I had a vague idea as to what made him so mad. I glanced around quickly, afraid my tormenter was around somewhere.

"We need to talk." Darius told me as he grabbed my arm, not too roughly, but tight enough to keep me from getting free of his grip, and led me into my dressing room. He closed the door and picked up a tabloid that was sitting on the counter. I took it from him and I gasped when I saw the cover.

There was a picture of me at the bar with Damien. Nothing incriminating, but the article indicated some sort of secret relationship with the guy. I felt nauseated and I tossed the magazine away from me. I couldn't get the images out of my mind.

"I thought"

"Jude, he's trying to scare you; to let you know this sick bastard is serious." Darius told me, his dark brown eyes concerned. I nodded in agreement, but it only made my nausea worst. I groped for a chair and sat down heavily. I took a few deep breathes, trying to gain control of my stomach. "This magazine isn't too legit, so I'm not too worried about bad publicity. I'll get our people on this." Darius told me.

"Yeah." I said, feeling scared and sick all at the same time.

"Jude?" Darius said, kneeling down next to me. I looked at my manager. "You might want to consider that vacation. Soon." He stressed. He patted my shoulder as he stood up. "You were great out there." He told me as he opened the door and left the room.

I blew out a sigh and I glanced over at the magazine that was laying on the floor. I went over to it and picked it up. I glanced at the pictures and ripped it up; letting the shreds fall to the floor. I took a deep breath and walked over to my small wardrobe and changed out of my sweaty performance outfit and back into my comfortable jeans and t-shirt. I pulled my jacket over it and grabbed my purse and keys before leaving the room and the auditorium.

I had arrangements to make; starting with my dad.

I drove home with no incident and I waited in the living room for my dad to come home from work. He walked into the door at the usual time and greeted me as usual.

"Hey, Dad." I said, tentatively, trying to gauge his mood.

"What's wrong Jude?" He asked me. I sighed and gave my dad a reassuring smile; thankful that my dad didn't pay much attention to the media buzz.

"Darius told me earlier today he'd like me to go with Mason and finish up his tour." I lied, hoping he wouldn't catch on. Dad's eyes narrowed as he looked at me.

"When do you leave?"

"In two days." I stated. "D wanted to give me some time to pack my bags and stuff."

"How long you gonna be gone?" My dad asked, walking into the kitchen. I sighed heavily. He's buying it.

"Um…a month…maybe two." I answered. I honestly had no idea how long I was going to be. Heck, for what I had planned, it could even last just a hour. Maybe less. My dad walked to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. He frowned slightly.

"That's kind of short notice." He stated, looking slightly skeptical.

"I…I know. It's just, I really want to tour, and Mason and I are friends. I thought…ya know, why not?"

"This was your idea?"

"Half." I insisted. "Darius mentioned a tour, and I offered to go on Masons."

"Mason…he's that cowboy kid right?"

"Yeah." I said, nodding affirmatively. Dad looked thoughtful a moment. Please dad, don't say no. I mentally pleaded.

"I don't see why not.." He finally said. I grinned happily at him and threw my arms around him. "

"Thanks dad!" I said, kissing his cheek and running out of the room.

"Jude!" Dad called. I skidded to a stop.

"Yup?"

"You sure that's all that"

"Yeah. I'm fine Dad. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, mentally cringing. Yeah, as if my life's perfect right now. Dad looked skeptical a moment and waved a hand to dismiss me and I ran upstairs and grabbed my suitcase while simultaneously calling Darius.

"Hey, D?"  
"Yeah?" He answered.

"You know that vacation we were talking about?"

"You decide you're going?" Darius asked me. I nodded and then realized I was on the phone.

"Yeah, I am. I'm gonna go visit an old friend."

"And where's this old friend?"

"In Montana." I stated, a small smile playing at my lips.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Kind of a quick update; I, unfortunately, don't have time to answer reviews, but I want you guys to know that I did read all of them, and they all make me smile and feel good in some way. I'm glad you guys are liking! I hope to get more up soon but school started and I'm gonna start getting busier; unfortunately. I still plan to update though! I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and I look forward to seeing your reviews still!

**Chapter 9**

**Two days later**

I made it through the last couple of days, and I think I'm going to die of a heart attack today. My heart won't stop racing. It's beating so fast that I feel like I've run a decathlon. But alas, I was sitting on my small airplane from Toronto YTO Airport to Billings, Montana. It was just under an 8 hour flight and I was flying privately in Darius's jet that he offered me. From the airport in Billings, I had to travel to Lavina where I would, hopefully, find Tom Quincy.

I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes, trying to steady my frazzled nerves. I was anxious; not about the flight, but about what was before me. What if he didn't want to see me? What would I do if…I shook myself of my thoughts. I can't think like that. I scolded myself. Too late. I thought shortly after as I felt my heart race faster.

The pilot announced our takeoff and I gripped the armrest of the seats. I didn't like taking off; it always bothered me the most. The rest of the trip, I'd be fine, but the initial take off, for some reason, I couldn't do without a problem. The plane began to move and I dug in my carryon bag for my stick of gum. I popped it in and chewed purposely on it. It never helped my ears, but it was better than nothing; I'd tried it.

The plane sped faster and I could see the familiar sights of Toronto getting farther away. And then we were in the air and I closed my eyes and concentrated on chewing my gum. I felt my ears beginning to pop from the pressure and unpop seconds later from the gum, only to repop again. I squeezed my eyes closed, feeling a headache coming on and I groaned. It was going to be one of _those_ take offs.

The plane eventually stabilized in the air and my ears unpopped a final time. I still had the makings of a small headache, but it wasn't intolerable. I sighed and pulled my ipod out of my bag and turned it on; allowing myself to be serenaded by my favorite bands.

As I listened to the music, I closed my eyes a moment and opened them sometime later. Suddenly hit with inspiration, I pulled my journal from my bag, and uncapped the pen that was attached to it. It was the new one Tommy had given me as a present for the wrapping up of my latest album. I hadn't started writing in it so the pages were still clean and crisp. I opened the cover and stared at the scrawled words across the first page.

"Most of us die with the music still inside us." He had wrote. I smiled fondly at the meaning of the message and turned the page once again to a blank page. I sat a moment, trying to think of the best words for the song I had playing in my head and I began to write, humming slightly as I did so.

"You're running back,

When you're off track

Looking for a home…

You need a phone,  
you feel all alone.  
Don't know where to start  
while you're falling part.  
You feel a little older,  
you need a shoulder"

I glanced back at the words I had hurriedly wrote across the page and stared at them critically. There was something missing. I didn't know what it was, but I frowned at the newly penned lyrics. I tapped my pen impatiently against the journal as I wracked my brain, trying to figure out what the lyrics needed. I knew it was the beginning of a chorus; but I wasn't sure about the verses or the lines themselves. It was just…missing something.

I sighed in frustration and shut the journal with a frown still on my face. I glanced out the window of the plane and watched the clouds moving beneath us. Only a few more hours, I thought to myself. A few more hours and I'd be safe again.

I turned my attention away from the window and back to my journal. I reopened it and examined the lyrics once again and started to make small adjustments to them.

**Several Hours Later**

I stood before a large, hunting lodge looking house. I stared at it a long moment, trying to imagine Tommy here. Try as I might, I just couldn't draw that connection. I stood in the drive a moment before walking up to the large wooden door. I set the duffle down on the porch and took a deep breath. My heart was racing again and my breathing quickened into short breathes. I was anxious and my arm felt like lead when I raised it and knocked on the door.

I sniffed against the cold air and waited a moment. No one came to the door. I felt my heart sink. Just…try again Jude. Maybe whoever didn't hear you. I told myself as I raised my fist again.

Before my fist connected with the door, it swung open. I jumped slightly in surprise and stared wide-eyed at the person before me.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter! This one's a bit long and I hope you guys enjoy it as well. I'm on another homework/study break and as much as I'd love to respond to reviews…it's just not gonna happen. Reviews are life and they break up the monotony of my school work, so please don't feel like they don't go unappreciated. I just don't have a spare moment right now. Hopefully I'll be able to do them after this update…let's hope. I hope you guys like this one…it's a bit lengthy but I feel it's worth it. :D Enjoy!

**Chapter 10**

The door swung open and I gasped at the person before me.

The woman was probably in her late 20s, maybe early 30s. She had long, dark brown hair and a face that reminded me eerily of Tommy. She was tall, slim, and her emerald eyes stared critically down her dainty nose at me; like I was the scum beneath her Prada shoes. .

"Um, hi." I said, nervously, "I'm looking for Tom Quincy." I stated, trying hard not to gulp as the woman's eyes narrowed as she looked me up and down. She finally sized and rolled her eyes.

"Of course you are. Who isn't?" She asked, sounding rather bored.

"I-it's not.." The woman sighed and stepped aside to let Jude inside. "Thomas!" The woman yelled and I winced at the loud volume. I noticed the accent that came out of her voice suddenly. She didn't pronounce Thomas the English way; it was more enunciated. It sounded more like "Tome-iass/i". The older woman turned back to me and she shrugged her petite shoulders and walked off, her heels clicking against the hardwood floors as she walked, leaving me standing alone and rather awkwardly in the foyer.

My eyes wandered around the rather large entrance, my eyes searching for any sign of my producer. I heard footsteps to my left and I spun around to see an older woman standing there.

"Hello Miss…" The woman said, her words pronounced slow and the accent she couldn't quite place.

"Jude?"

I froze. I felt my shoulders tense and my brain turn off. Only my heart seemed to keep working and it was beating overtime.

"Thomas, you know this young girl?" The woman asked. I turned my head around to see Tommy walking down the stairs, a young girl around three in his arms.

My eyes trailed away from him and locked onto the small child he held in his arms. She bore a striking resemblance to him and I glanced back up into Tom's mildly surprised face.

"I worked with her." Tom answered, reaching the last step and shifting the child slightly. I felt my heart sink at his word choice. _Worked._ As in the past tense. Done, over, no more.

The older woman nodded in understanding and smiled warmly at me. I just smiled nervously back at her, unsure what to do. I glanced back at Tommy, wanting to shrink under his intense gaze and he sighed before setting the child down and talked softly to her.

"Why don't you go play with Maria for awhile ok?" He told her. The girl looked sadly at Tommy and threw her arms around him in a hug. I had to admit, she was a cute kid, but I couldn't help but wonder why she was so attached to Tom. My Tommy. The girl pulled away from the hug and waddled over to Maria. Maria took the little girl's hand and led her away, stealing a glance at me and winking before turning her full attention on the three year old before her.

Tommy and I stared at each other once they were gone. I couldn't meet his eyes and I was worried about what he was going to say; was going to do. After a moment, Tom stepped away from me and towards a coat rack by the door. He grabbed his leather jacket and pulled it over his shoulders. I watched him curiously as he opened the front door and motioned for me to go outside.

"No one here knows how to mind their own business. If you want to talk privately, it's gonna be outside." Tommy stated, matter-of-factly and I still couldn't get a read on his mind.

I sighed heavily in defeat and brushed past him as I walked back outside into the cold winter air. I stood before the house and waited as Tom stepped outside and closed the door behind him. He glanced at me before walking away form the house and down the drive. I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and followed him. We walked in silence for awhile and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the property was here, but I couldn't enjoy nature's scenery. Tommy and I had problems and I wanted them worked out. I glanced over at him again and found his face still devoid of emotion. I sighed.

"Hi," I said nervously, trying to break the ice between us and he glanced over at me and chuckled slightly at me. "You aren't going to ask why I'm here?"

"I think the why's redundant to ask. It's the how I'm trying to figure out." He stated, giving me a questioning look and I sighed.

"A mix between Jamie, SME, and I'm assuming, Kwest." I answered with a shrug and Tom nodded as if he understood.

"Kwest doesn't know I'm here." He stated after a beat of silence.

"I assumed he told them or something." I said, not knowing what else to say. I know I was treading on thin ice with him; Tommy didn't like surprises and I didn't want to tick him off.

"Doubt it." He stated and sighed heavily. "Anyone know you're here?"

"Family thinks I'm on tour with Mason; D knows I'm visiting a friend and nothing more." Tommy's eyes narrowed but he said nothing.

"Who's the little girl?" I asked, my voice low and quiet.

"My sister's daughter." He stated with a heavy sigh. "I'm guessing it's my turn?" I nodded and he looked away from me and told his tale.

"At your show, I got a call from my sister," He started and I noticed the way he stiffened slightly and his voice shook. "Apparently, Ma Mere has been receiving cancer treatments the last five years."

"I'm sorry." I said, realization hitting me. Oh my god. He didn't know.

"Thanks, but it's kind of late now." He said, with a bitter laugh and glancing back over at me.

"You didn't know." I stated, feeling my heart going out to him. I couldn't imagine waking up one day and finding out my mom was dying and she never told me. That would be…I couldn't even imagine it.

"No. I didn't." he said, looking back down at the ground and I wondered if he was hiding unshed tears. "Anyway, she's on her last few days..I guess. She was in the hospital and Ma Mere didn't want to go in the hospital. She wanted to spend her last days at home with the family." He explained and I noticed a break in his voice and I stopped walking, wanting nothing more than to take him into my arms and comfort him. He stopped walking seconds after me and I stepped closer to him and pulled him into a hug. His arms automatically circled around me and I felt him pull me closer. I reached up with my left hand and stroked his hair, slightly damp from the snow falling from the trees, and wished I could do more for him.

We stood in each other's arms for a long time. I couldn't even estimate the length of time, but I knew I could stay like that forever. Tommy was the one who broke our embrace as he dropped his arms and stepped back from me. I saw his eyes were red and filled with unshed tears and my heart broke at the sight of him. He looked away form me and then back again.

"On a happier note, guess who's number one?" I asked, trying to cheer him up a bit. He just stared at me a moment with a dumbfound expression on his face.

"You're number one?" He asked slowly, a grin spreading across his face. I nodded and smiled back at him, glad to see him smile once again.

"_We're_ number one." I stressed. I never could have done it with out you. I added silently.

"When?" He asked me, still looking slightly dazed.

"I found out the day after you left." I said, noting the wince that crossed his features and my face fell at the memories.

"I'm sorry about Jamie. It's just…"

"I understand." I said. I really did. I did get why he had Jamie come to me over anyone else and I appreciated the effort. "I tried to catch you before you left, but I was too late." I told him, looking into his eyes.

"I wouldn't have"

"I know." I said with a shaky breath. "There's something else I haven't told you either." I started, feeling my heart race and my voice strain slightly from fear and nervousness.

"So, you're not just here to see me?" He said, half joking and I hit him lightly on the arm.

"When you left…I was upset." I started.

"Jude" He started, closing his eyes and his tone was exasperated.

"Just…let me. Ok?" I asked, pleading with him. I saw him tense but he nodded. I know it was going to be hard for him to hear about how I was after he left, but he had to get over it and face reality some time. "I went to the release party and I practically had a break down. Liam threatened me and told me that I was there to work and I better put a smile on my face and pretend like nothing was wrong."

I paused as I saw Tom's jaw clenching and I continued quickly.

"After he left, I realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't be the poster girl and I…I skipped out on my album release party." I saw Tommy wince but he said nothing. "I drove to Barrie and watched Mason's performance and I…I met a guy." Tom's eyes darkened considerably and I rushed the next part of my tale. "He asked for a picture and ordered me a drink-"

"He bought you a drink! You're too young to be drinking!" He exploded. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"_Anyway_, he kept buying me drinks and"

"Did he take advantage of you?" Tommy asked, his eyes growing concerned.

"No…kind of." I said, and Tommy looked confused. "he kept taking pictures of me…and now…he's blackmailing me with them."

Tommy was silent, but I could tell he was trying hard not to yell. His hands were clenched into fists and his eyes were narrow and jaw clenched tight.

"Darius told me to get away and let him deal with it. SO, I thought…maybe…if I found you…" I trailed off, and looked down at the ground. I heard Tommy taking deep breathes and I closed my eyes, fighting tears.

"Jude, I" I snapped my head up and looked at him.

"I care about you Tommy." I blurted out. I watched as his eyes widened. "And when Damien started stalking me, and this whole blackmail thing started...the thing that made me feel safe was thinking of you and…" My voice broke and tears fell from my eyes.

"Jude." Tommy said, his voice soft. He pulled me close to him and rested his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes, reveling in the closeness.

"I'm not going to make you leave, but…I can't do _this_ right now." He said, his voice soft and strained. I opened my eyes and stared into his blue eyes. "I don't want to start something I can't finish. And right now…it wouldn't be fair to you." He finished and I kissed him softly and pulled back.

"I just wanted you to know how I feel." I told him honestly. He gave me a small smile and brushed some stray hairs from my face. I smiled at him and he caressed my cheek before pulling me in for a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and his arms tightened around me, his head resting on mine and fingers stroking through my hair. I sighed in contentment and closed my eyes, just memorizing the feel of this. Of us.


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: **I know, it's been awhile, but I hope this will make it worth it; Multi-Chapter update:D Enjoy the updates! I'm glad you guys are enjoying, and as always, Reviews are my life and passion!

**Chapter 11**

I pulled back from him after what felt like an eternity. He watched me with a weary expression and I gave him a small smile of reassurance.

"Thanks." I said, feeling better than I had in months.

"It's fine." He said, taking my hand and caressing it gently before intertwining our hands together. We walked back to the house in a comfortable silence. It was peaceful out here in the Montana wilderness. Snow crunched beneath our feet as we walked and the sky was a clear blue; obstructed only by trees; so unlike the city skies I was use to.

We made it back to the house in no time and Tom opened the door for me as I walked in. He entered behind me and shut the door behind him.

"Thomas! Why didn't you tell me we had a guest!" A distressed voice called out. I glanced at Tommy and saw a look of amusement on his face. I sighed and turned around and saw an older woman before me. She was probably in her early to mid fifties. Her hair was almost pure grey and her eyes…I could see where Tommy got them from.

"I was caught by surprise too, Mere." He said and my eyes widened involuntarily. _Oh…my!_ Tom's mother tisked her son as she walked over to me. She was a head shorter than me and so cute looking that I couldn't help but smile at her.

"And who's this lovely girl?" She asked, taking my hands and looking me over.

"Mom, this is my friend, Jude; Jude, Ma Mere."

"Hello Mrs-" I was going to say Quincy, but I paused before I did it. _Damn it! I don't know his real last name!_

"Oh, please dear, none of that formal stuff. It makes me feel **old**!" she stressed and I couldn't help but smile at the irony and try hard not to laugh.

"Call me Mom or Celeste." She then let go of my hands and beamed at me. "Oh, how I always longed to meet Tom's Fiancé!" She gushed and I bit back a laugh.

"Mom, she's not.."

"Oh, sure she is dear. You can't lie to me." She scolded Tommy and he rolled his eyes. She leaned into me and said in a stage whisper "I never counted that old hussy he married before." I nearly died on the spot. _I think I love Mrs…erm, Tom's Mom_.

"Mere, I"

"Oh, Posh. Go put Jude's things upstairs. I want to get to know my future daughter in law before I die." She said cheerfully. I glanced at Tommy and I saw a look of sadness flash in his eyes.

I felt a tug on my hand and Mrs..._Celeste_ led me away from Tommy.

"No, Jude Dear…" She started saying before chatting merrily away like we were old friends.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

I watched them go and sighed heavily. I hated it when she made light of her situation. Hell, I hated when it was brought up; It was easier to not think about it than…I shook my head to clear it. I had to stop thinking about that. I bent over and grabbed Jude's duffle and swung it over my shoulder.

"So, how long _she_ gonna last?" A sultry voice asked. I glanced over and saw my sister, Adele, leaning against the door jam, her eyes amused.

"Excuse me?"

"How long is your little whore going to last?" She asked again. My eyes narrowed and my jaw tightened. I took a deep breath and walked towards the stairs. In this family, it's better to keep your mouth shut.

"That long eh?" She asked, taunting me.

"I don't see how it's your business." I snapped. I could feel my resolve cracking and I knew it was what she wanted. She could talk smack about me all day; I didn't care. I was use to the slander both in my personal and professional life. But I couldn't stand her calling Jude a whore and insinuating…

"I was just trying to get a time frame so-"

"She's not a whore!" I snapped, cutting her off.

"Oh, really?" Adele said, looking amused. "Friend with benefits?"

"There are no ben…I mean, we're friends. Period. End of discussion. No benefits of that kind." I stated, though I knew I secretly wished there were, but now was not the time to think about that.

"Oh, I'm sure." Adele said, her tone sarcastic.

I sighed and continued my way upstairs, but alas, Adele followed me. God she never grew up. She still acts like she's 15.

"So,"

"Adele!" I snapped. She looked surprised as I turned around. Good. "Jude's a friend, though if she were more than that, I don't see how it's _your _business." I stated once more and Adele huffed, realizing she wasn't getting her daily gossip from me and spun on her heel and left me alone in the hallway.

I watched her go and made a mental note to warn Jude about Adele before dropping her bag in a room three doors down on the left and closing the door behind me. I sagged against the door and closed my eyes a moment.

"Uncle Tommy?" I tried hard to suppress a grown as I glanced down and saw Adele's daughter, Serena, gazing up at me with her big, hazel eyes. _Damn that kid is good. I didn't master that look til age 5_.

"Yeah Serena?" I asked her, mentally pleading with her: No House, No Tea party.

"Come Play?" She asked, her big brown eyes pleading with me and tears on command filling her eyes. I groaned. _Damn, she's really good_. I thought as I sighed. I never could resist a pleading girl; probably the beginning of laundry list of problems.

"Yeah Serena. Just for a little while though." I told her as she beamed at me and grabbed my hand and 'dragged' me down the hall to her room. The whole way I wondered what torture she was going to put me through next.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

I am officially in love with Tommy's mom. She is **the** coolest old lady I know. She chatted away about everything and anything. She asked a bit about me, and then she gave me some good blackmail stories to use on her son before leading me into the family room to show me a video of one of Tom's Pre-Boyz Attack performances. Needless to say, I'm intrigued.

She instructed me to sit on the plush sofa and she returned moments later with an old VCR tape and turned on the tv.

"So, what kind of reputation control do I need to do?" I heard Tom's voice say before he plopped down on the couch next to me.

"Non-sense Thomas! Stop being such a drama queen!" Celeste scolded. I snorted in an attempt to keep from laughing and Tommy shot me a glare. I just shrugged at him helplessly and Celeste turned back to us and motioned for Tommy to scoot over so she could sit between us. Once settled, she clicked the VCR Remote.

"Do I want to know what…?" Tommy trailed off, obviously recognizing the scene from his past and groaned. "Is that _really_ necessary?" He asked his mother as she advanced the video.

"Thomas?" His mother said with a heavy sigh. "Shut up." She stressed as she watched critically for the right place.

"You embarrassed Quincy?"

"Not my best performance." He admitted, a scowl on his face.

"You've heard me at _my_ worst." I pointed out and Tommy groaned. Either at the memory or at the prospect of the video I wasn't sure and his mother shushed him.

"Oh! Here it is!" His mother proclaimed excitedly before pressing play.

Tommy buried his head in his hands and his mother rolled her eyes at his display and said nothing.

I watched as a young Tom Quincy stepped onto the stage, rather tentatively, acoustic guitar hanging from his shoulder. Best guess? He was probably 12…maybe 13. His hair was longer, not quite to his shoulders, but equally as scruffy looking. He was skinnier and significantly less built and the over all effect was way different from the 23-year-old sitting not even three feet away from me. A mile stretch from the 17 year old heart throb. I guessed the performance was probably at some sort of a talent show; probably at a school or something like that.

He made it to the center stage and began strumming the guitar. The chords were a bit choppy, but it fit the lyrics and it oddly worked. The song itself was different from anything I'd ever heard Tommy write. I know he wrote a few of the Boyz Attack songs and I've heard Frozen, but even this was different from both. I couldn't explain the style, but it was unique and different and highly amateurish.

The song ended rather quickly and his mother stopped the tape.

"I can't believe you got that out!" Tommy muttered and I grinned over at him.

"It wasn't that bad!" I said and honestly, it wasn't. At 13, I probably sounded way worst. Tommy just scoffed at me but said nothing. Celeste looked at me and winked.

"Mmmm-hmm. Mr. Hot-Shot-Producer can't appreciate where he came from."

"Mere? If one of my artists sounded like that? They'd be dropped in a second." Tommy stated, rolling his eyes.

"I thought Lil' Tommy Q was cute!" I crooned and Tommy just shot me a glare that clearly said 'Don't you ever say that again'. I smiled innocently at him and he continued to glare at me.

Celeste leaned forward and slapped Tommy, rather hard, on the knee and sighed.

"Ow!" Tommy stressed.

"Oh, hush you. That didn't hurt." Celeste said and sighed. "Play nice. I'm gonna go lie down." She said, yawning as she stood up. I looked at her and noticed the signs of tiredness on her features. I had actually forgotten I knew she was sick and on her last couple days of life and the thought depressed me.

As she left the room, I glanced over at Tommy. I knew if I was feeling sad, I couldn't imagine what was going through his mind. Tommy met my gaze with a pained expression and I scooted over and lay my hand on his. He glanced away from me a moment and took a deep breath before looking back at me and I felt my heart break for him.

"I like your mom." I told him honestly, hoping he'd talk to me.

"Yeah, she's a fun lady." He said, his voice heavy and slightly strained and I could tell he was trying to keep his emotions in check. _Damn it Tom! Talk to me!_

I sighed and moved closer to him. He glanced at me curiously and I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He smiled slightly at me before adjusting himself and resting his head on my shoulder and let me comfort him. I reached up with my hand and stroked his hair soothingly.

We sat there in silence for a long moment. It was quiet in the house and relatively peaceful. I felt my eyes grow heavy and I was almost asleep when Tommy broke our silence.

"Mom give you the tour?" He asked me.

"Yeah, she did." I answered. While Celeste was getting to know me, she had gave me the grand tour of the house; the lower level anyway.

Tommy nodded and back up and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands a moment. I felt oddly cold when he moved but I didn't say anything; I just watched him. He ran his hands through his hair and then sat back against the couch. Something was bothering him. I could tell.

"Erm…" He started and frowned, as if trying to choose his words carefully.

"What?" I asked.

"Two things." He stated.

"Yes?" I asked, wondering what the sudden change in attitude was about.

"You briefly met Adele right?"

"Adele?"

"My sister; older, long hair, total bitch." Tommy described.

"Very briefly. She's your sister!"

"Takes after Grandmere I guess." Tommy said with a shrug. "Anyway, don't take much of what she says…or, well, doesn't say, to heart."

"And you're telling me this why?"

"Because she seems to think you're…and I quote…a whore." He said with a wince.

"What!" I yelled, turning on the couch to face him directly.

"I told her no, but she doesn't believe me…despite many protests!" He added the last part quickly.

"Great, your sister thinks I'm a whore."

"And your sister thinks I'm a walking STD, do we're even." OK, couldn't argue that point.

"The other thing?"

"I was going to put you up in the guest room…"

"OK?" and the problem with that is…?

"But Serena, she's Adele's daughter, is set up there."

"OK?"

"And…the other rooms are full…"

"So you're saying?"

"I put your stuff in my room." He stated.

"OK…?" I still wasn't seeing a big problem that got him looking like he wanted to bolt.

"I figured you could just have my room and I'll just sleep on the couch…or something." He said, matter-of-factly, looking relieved.

"I can't do that! I'm not gonna kick you out of your bed!" I protested.

"And what kind of guy am I if I let you sleep on the couch?" He challenged. I noted the fact he said guy instead of gentlemen, but I didn't call him on it. I glared at him a moment.

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed." I said stubbornly. Tommy sighed.

"It's not that big of a"

"We'll share." I stated, and that effectively shut Tommy up. He stared at me like I just told him Darius was a drag queen and had a boyfriend on the side. "We're both too stubborn to let up, so why not?" I said logically. OK, so maybe I wanted to sleep with him…maybe there's an ulterior motive, but at least the logic makes sense.

Tommy finally snapped himself out of his funk and shrugged a response. I don't think he's capable of words yet and I seriously what would have happened if I had told him I wanted to sleep with him. Now that would be fun.

"Fine with me." He finally stammered out, looking a bit pale still.

"What? It's not like you've never slept with a woman before." I pointed out. Tommy said nothing but looked amused. "Perv."

"You said it." He pointed out. "So, what'd Ma Mere tell you? What stories do I need to deny ever happened?"

I grinned at him.

"What makes you think I'm gonna tell _you_?"

"Cuz you're gonna be sleeping in my bed?" He said hopefully and I smirked.

"Nice try." Tommy shrugged once again.

"Come on, I'll show ya upstairs." He said, getting up and waiting for me to follow suit. I sighed as I stood up. Things were definitely going to get interesting.


	14. Chapter 13 part 1

**A/N: **Chapter 13 is a long one; thus it's broken up into two parts to make it a bit easier to read. I hope you guys enjoy the long-double entry chapter! I have to say, I keep missing and missing Instant Star more with every day. February cannot come soon enough in my eyes.

**Chapter 13 – Part 1**

**The Next Morning**

I moaned and stretched as I opened my eyes. I blinked my eyes open and stared in confusion at the strange surroundings. After a moment, memories came catching up in my mind and I remembered where I was. I smiled to myself as I buried my head in his vacant pillow and inhaled his scent. I never slept better in my life than I did last night.

I have to admit, as we got ready to turn in, my heart raced and I was nervous. I was so worried about drooling or something and found myself worrying about everything and anything I could worry about. And once I fell asleep, I was out cold the rest of the night.

I sighed contentedly. I did not want to leave his bed. His mattress was so unbelievably comfortable that I am going to have to contemplate stealing it. I wonder if I could fit it in a suitcase?

I stretched once again and moaned as my muscles tightened and relaxed again. I sighed and reluctantly tossed back the covers and crawled out of the queen sized bed. I padded into the restroom and brushed my teeth and flattened my mussed hair with my fingers before deciding I looked presentable enough and wandered towards the general direction of the kitchen in search of food.

As I wandered into the kitchen, I saw Tommy sitting at the table, coffee in one hand, newspaper spread open on the table before him. I never pictured Tom as a 'morning paper' kind of guy. Still don't think it suits him. Whatever.

"Hey," I greeted, my voice still a bit heavy from sleep and he glanced up at me as I walked over to the fridge. I could feel his eyes on me and I glanced over at him and saw he was studying me intently as he sipped his coffee.

"Mornin'." He greeted brightly and I paused as I pulled the OJ out of the fridge. Tommy wasn't a morning person. He had his moments, but he was never completely coherent until 10:00 am. And when he was coherent before? Usually, lots of coffee and sugar is involved.

"You're cheerful this morning." I stated as I grabbed a glass from one of the cupboards and returned to the kitchen island where the Orange Juice carton was waiting for me.

Tom just shrugged and set the coffee mug down. "Good coffee?" He offered, his eyes looking me up and down. I tried not to squirm under his scrutiny and I turned my attention back to the OJ and my glass and poured myself some and recapped the gallon before putting it back in the fridge.

"What?" I asked as I leaned against the island and sipped my juice.

"Nothing." He said, shaking his head and looking back at the paper, but I could see him watching me from the corner of his eyes. OK, what is his deal?

"Uh-hu." I watched him a moment and I could feel my brain working overtime. Something was…off. I couldn't place it, but…I don't know. I'm not liking the feeling I'm getting from him this morning. "I'm surprised you're up." I said, trying to engage in small talk. "I woke up and you were already gone." He glanced up at me, his eyes looking mildly surprised. OK, come on Tommy; you were there too. It's not new news.

"Chris!" OK, I'm going officially going crazy. I did not just hear 'Tommy' say behind me another guy's name. Right? I mean, that's just crazy. To prove it, I turned around and, to my utter surprise, I saw ANOTHER Tommy walking into the room, a small smile on his face. I looked back at the table and then back again at the other table. Yup, there were two. I blinked and they were still there. OK, so, I don't think I'm dreaming…maybe?

"Hey Tom." The Tommy at the table said, who was apparently Chris, and stood up. The doubled hugged a moment and stepped back.

Oh. My. God. There's two of him. I felt myself looking back and forth between the two in confusion. I'm hallucinating. I know it. I knew I shouldn't have ate that last truffle last night.

"Jude, this is my brother, Chris." Tommy said and added "Though it seems you met already."

"Your brother?" I asked, as the real Tommy made his way to the coffee pot on the counter.

"Twin." Chris offered, smirking. "Sorry, Jude, I had to do it." He said, grinning widely at me and the smile was exactly like Tommy's. Whoa. Creepy.

"Twin?" I repeated. I looked over at Tommy. My mind was numb. Oh. My. God. I almost made an idiot of myself! "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

Tommy, who was taking a long drink of his coffee just looked at me questioningly.

"I'll just go and…" Chris trailed off, grabbing his paper. "Nice to meetcha Jude." He said politely before hastily retreating from the room, but not before winking at Tommy. Hu. Just like his brother.

"It never came up." Tommy offered, looking apprehensive. I stared at him in confusion a moment and then realized he was finally answering my question.

"You could have warned me! I mean, what if I said something stupid!"

"Jude, I didn't think it was"

"Well it is!" I stressed, tears coming to my eyes. Damn it! I don't wanna cry this early!


	15. Chapter 13 part 2

**Chapter 13**

**Part 2**

I sighed and turned around, plastering a fake smile on my face. I may as well try to be nice to her; I am kind of living with her for…however long.

"Hi, I don't think we've officially-"

"I know who you are." Adele dismissed, looking down her long elegant nose at me and I glared at her. _So much for nice-ties._ _Bitch. I was going to be nice to her too_.

I elected to keep my mouth shut and studied Adele further. It was just barely 9 am and Adele was already wearing a fancy suit and her dark hair shimmered and was pulled back into a fancy twist with a few strands strategically hanging loose, framing her face perfectly. Her make up was done to perfection and I swear there wasn't a bit of lint on her person. I think Adele would give even Sadie a run for her money.

"Adele," Tommy said tiredly and she looked smiled innocently at her brother and batted her long eyelashes in an attempt to look more innocent. Y_eah, like that's gonna work on your brother!_

"I don't have time to familiarize myself with you're little whore." Adele stated tiredly as she brushed past us.

_Whore? Whore! Excuse me! Virgin_!

I started to go after her when I felt strong hands grab me.

"Let me go Tom! I can take her! I've dealt with Sadie before!" I said, struggling against his hold.

"Jude, let it go." Tommy told me in a soothing voice in an attempt to calm me down. _Um, hello! Your sister just called me a whore to my face! I'm not going to take that laying down…ok, standing up_.

"She called me a whore!" I argued.

"I know." He said, his voice soft and sympathetic.

"to my face!" I continued.

"I know."

"Bitch!" I yelled, hoping Adele could hear me. _OK, so maybe that was a bit childish, but come on! Only a bitch would do something like that!_

"No arguments." Tommy stated.

"Who's a bitch?" I glanced and saw Chris approaching us.

"Adele." Tommy and I said simultaneously.

"What else is new?" Chris asked, leaning against the wall across from us with a shrug.

"Let me go Tommy." I whined.

"No." He said simply.

"Kinky." Chris stated, watching me struggle with a smirk on his face and his eyes twinkling mischievously. I stopped my attempts and just focused all my energy at glaring at Chris.

"Run." Tommy advised and I felt my temper rise. _Why does everyone have to insinuate we're sleeping together!_

"Looks like you got a good hold on her." Chris said with a wink and a suggestive look and I wanted to smack him one. I continued to restrain myself, hoping Tommy would forget he was holding me and loosen his grip slightly.

"For now." Tommy said, and I craned my neck up at him. OK, enough waiting.

"Let me go."

"You not going to attack?"

"No." Ok, so I'm lying.

"You sure?"

"No." I admitted.

"Hm, feisty." Chris said, watching me and he smirked. Pig.

"We're not sleeping together!" I said, exasperated. If my hands were free, they would have been thrown over my head in exasperation.

"Never said you were." Chris said, looking innocently at me. _Bull shit. I know that look; I see it on the 'other half' all the time_.

"You didn't have to." I said, glaring at him once again. Chris just shrugged at me, unfazed by my glare. I pulled my arms roughly and I felt Tommy let me go. I think he secretly wanted me to punch Chris. Or maybe I was imagining things. Whatever. I was free now.

I stomped over to him and was going to argue before I paused. I smiled at Chris and pressed myself against him.

"You know what?" I purred, staring him right into the eyes. He just watched me – the look in his eyes completely unreadable. "I think you're just jealous." I stated before smiling seductively at him, a trick I was taught how to do by the master of seduction, Sadie.

I pushed away from him and turned back to Tommy. I glanced briefly into his unreadable eyes as I walked over to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him roughly into a kiss and I pulled away before he could respond or push me away.

I shot a glance in Chris's direction and then at Tommy's shocked face before running down the hallway and away from them. I had to get away from them; clear my head.

I stopped in a random room and collapsed on the old sofa, tears stinging my eyes. _Damn it! I didn't want to cry! I don't even know why I'm crying_! I buried my head into the arm of the couch, a soft sob escaping my throat.

I felt a soft hand touch my shoulder and I glanced up to see Celeste looking down at me with sympathetic eyes. I sniffed and looked away from the older woman.

"I'm sorry." I said, sniffling and tears still running down my face.

"Don't be, Dear." Celeste said, sitting down next to me, and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "What's the matter?" She asked me, her voice soft and surprisingly comforting.

"I just...I don't know." I said, feeling defeated. It felt like nothing had been going right since Tommy left Toronto. I was being blackmailed, told to leave home, off at my producer/friends family's house in Montana with people I never even heard about…who all think I'm sleeping with said friend. Yeah, what was wrong with all that?

"There must be something bothering you." Celeste said, her tone sympathetic. "I know it must be hard for you; away from all your friends and the only woman in the house remotely the same age has an attitude problem." I smiled at Celeste's description. "I know my son isn't the best companion sometimes either." She added, watching me as she said the last part. I sniffed and looked away from her.

I knew I could talk to Tommy about what was on my mind; I knew he would offer some sort of comfort and say all the right things, but I just…some things I don't want to tell the man I've been in love with for over a year and need to maintain a professional relationship.

"Tommy's been…understanding. I just…I have to work with him too, ya know? Somethings I just don't feel right talking to him about." I admitted, like my feelings. Celeste sighed and I turned slightly to look at her directly. I knew she was about to tell me something big. I could sense it.

"Jude, Dear, I don't know how to say it, so I'm just going to tell you." Celeste said, her eyes looking slightly pained. _Oh no. Do I want to know_? "Growing up, Tom always wanted to perform. Sing, act, he did it all through school. He was always gifted as a musician though." Celeste said, smiling proudly as she talked about her son and I couldn't help but smile as well. Tommy is good - even though he sold out to a boy band - There's still no doubt about that I watched as Celeste's smile faded away and mine did as well. Time to be serious again. "His father didn't approve of his choice in a career. He wanted Tom to become a lawyer, doctor…anything but what Tom wanted to do with his life."

"But why? I mean, shouldn't he have just been happy Tommy was pursuing something he loved?" I asked, feeling confused.

"It's not always so simple, Dear." Celeste said sadly. "My late husband, Frank, didn't approve much of the music industry. He had good reasons, but they're for another time. For the longest time, Frank and Thomas didn't speak to each other. Tom kept trying to get discovered somehow and Frank continued to ignore his son, focusing more on Chris and Adele and ignoring Tom's existence."

"That's cruel." I said in disbelief. My mind flashed to the last time I saw my mother and I felt my heart get heavy and tears come to my eyes. I could understand that pain.

"It was. Things didn't get much better before Tom got into the band. Frank would yell, Thomas would yell back, eventually one of them would get tired of the argument and walk out. It wasn't a good time and I hate the fact my husband couldn't be happy for our son." Celeste said, her voice cracking with emotion. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman. I could tell she was stuck in the middle, trying to mediate a family rift.

"I'm sorry."

"it's in the past, Dear." Celeste said, taking a deep breathe to calm her nerves before beginning once again. "As a child, Thomas was always open with what he felt. He'd tell stories, he'd joke…he was a happy child." She began. I could see where she was going.

"And then.."

"And then he was practically disowned by his father and he…he clamped up. He didn't talk as freely as he did before and slowly, he began to put up a mask."

"Guarding his emotions." I summed. Celeste nodded.

"So he didn't have to feel the pain." She said, a sad look in her eyes. I nodded in understanding and looked away from her. I never would have thought…

"He really does care for you." Celeste told me. I looked back up at Celeste and began to speak when she cut me off with a raised hand. "He more than cares for you darling." She added and I shook my head.

"No he doesn't. We're just friends."

"He's afraid." Celeste told me. I looked at her confused. Celeste smiled at me knowingly. "You'll figure it out in time Deary." She said cryptically. "But just remember to be patient with him. Walk before you run." She said with a smile and patted my cheeks. "I must go get breakfast served; Thomas is covering and knowing him, he'll have burned something by now." She said with a small laugh before leaving the room and me alone in my thoughts.


	16. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I sat on Tom's bed, reviewing my lyric book. I had so many things running through my head that I had to get them down on paper. I needed them out of my head and there was no other way for me to do that. I looked thoughtfully at my rough lyrics I wrote the other day on the plane. I liked where I stared, I just wasn't too sure about how it read.

I sighed and crossed a few things out and scribbled a few changes, humming to myself as I did it. I heard a knock on the door jam and I glanced up to see…one of the twins standing there looking at me.

"Which one?" I asked tiredly as I glanced down at my lyric notebook. I kinda got a small handle how to tell them apart, but it came down to more conversation. Chris is more laid back than Tommy is. He's open with his emotions where as Tom's more guarded, but that distinction I can only figure out after a few minutes of good conversation.

"Chris." He answered, and I glanced up and I could tell he was telling the truth. I waved him in and he walked into the room and glanced at my journal open.

"Whatcha working on?" He asked me casually.

"A song…I think." I said, frowning once again at the lyrics. I needed a guitar…something. Anything! This is driving me insane! I knew I should have at least brought my acoustic with me.

"You think?"

"I can't get the lyrics right. I think…I need music. I don't know. The lyrics just aren't completely working with what's in my head. I need to hear it all together, if that makes any sense." I said sighing heavily and scratching out another line.

I wanted to throw my pen at the wall, something. Anything to get this verse wrote, but it wasn't working.

"Music eh?"

"Yeah." I said with a heavy sigh, glancing up from my lyrics again. "Don't happen to have a guitar do ya?"

"No." Chris said sadly and I sighed.

"Figures."

"But Mere does." Chris stated with a grin on his face. I looked up at Chris cautiously. He had to be kidding me.

"You serious?"

"Totally. Where do you think Tom learned to play?" He asked me grinning once again.

"I don't want to-"

"She won't mind." Chris told me, walking towards the door. "Come on. You want a guitar or not?" He asked me.

I watched him from my seat a long moment. There was something about Chris that just…irked me. I couldn't quite place it, but I really needed that guitar. I was desperate.

"Why not." I said rolling off the bed and grabbing the journal and pen as Chris led me down the hall and into a small room near the back of the house.

It was rather small and cozy, but it had a piano, an acoustic and electric guitar standing in their respective stands, and bookshelves full of, what I guessed to be, sheet music. The small room had a homey feel. The big bay window let in so much natural light that I didn't need to switch on the electric lighting.

"Do you like it?" Chris asked me, watching me stare at the room in awe.

"Like it? I love it!" I practically squealed as I walked over to the acoustic guitar and fingered it carefully. It was definitely an antique and I didn't want to be responsible for breaking it.

"I knew you'd like it." Chris said, beaming proudly at himself. I looked up at him with a questioning look. He just shrugged and continued to beam. He got this…look in his eyes as he watched me and I felt the hair on the back of my neck raise in response. I wasn't liking this feeling I was getting from him. Not at all.

"Um, is it ok if I stay here alone?" I asked, wanting him gone. "I just…I don't like to write with an audience." I lied. Sort of. I mean, there's some people I feel comfortable song writing around, with, about…and there's others I just can't bring myself to do it with and Chris seemed to fall into that category.

Chris's face fell slightly and he shrugged. "Yeah, it's cool." He said waving a hand dismissively. "Hope you get your song figured out." He added stepping to the doorway.

I sighed. Great. "Chris?" I called. He stopped and turned to look at me. "Thanks, really. I appreciate the gesture." I added and he smiled at me before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. I turned away from the door and picked up the acoustic carefully. I strummed a few chords and adjusted the strings accordingly to tune it slightly before playing a few more notes and trying to find my perfect melody.

**- - - Meanwhile - - -**

I sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. Mere just went upstairs saying she wasn't feeling well and wanted to lie down. She looked paler than she had in days and it suddenly hit me once again that she was sick. She was dying and it was too late to do anything about it.

It was a heavy thought and I didn't want to focus on it. I know she didn't want pity. I know she doesn't want us to worry and hover, but I can't help but wonder if she needs something more. If there's something more I could be doing. Should be doing.

"Hey man!" A cheery voice said. I glanced up and saw my brother standing before me, a strangely happy look on his face. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance at him. _How the hell could he be so damn happy when mom was dying_?

"Hey." I responded, pushing my earlier thoughts to the back of my mind. The last thing I needed was a 'heart to heart' with my twin. Chris is a good guy, and I love him to death, don't get me wrong, but…I don't know. Sometimes, I didn't think I could completely trust him.

"What's got you in such a funk?" Chris asked, sitting down next to me.

"I'm fine." I said automatically and stared him back in the eyes knowing if I didn't he would know I was lying. Probably knew I was lying anyway.

"Uh-hu." He said not looking at all convinced. "So…um…what's Jude's story?" He asked me, trying not to sound too interested. I felt my eyes narrow once again. _Why was Chris interested in Jude_?

"Why the sudden interest in Jude?" I asked him, watching him skeptically. Chris hasn't grown up. He's a good guy and all, but he still acts like he's 16. While I've been trying to get away from the 'price of fame', Chris is still loving my reputation and continually gets _himself_ plastered on a tabloid.

"We were talking earlier." Chris said with a shrug. "She's cool." He added, waiting for me to 'spill the goods.'

"She's a great singer/songwriter." I offered him and Chris rolled his eyes.

"I know that! But come on, spill! Tell me the real goods." Chris said sitting straighter in his seat and looking more interested. I raised an eyebrow at the insinuation.

"Jude and I aren't sleeping together." I stated for clarification.

"Sure you aren't." Chris said, elbowing me suggestively and winking at me. "Seriously man, how is she?"

"If you're so interested in her, why don't you ask her?" I offered, getting annoyed. I don't like the fact my _BROTHER_ was taking an interest in _my_ girl. OK, so it's not the first time it's happened; but this is JUDE we're talking about. Jude who would verbally castrate us both if she knew what we were talking about down here.

"Oh, like she'd tell me. Come on Tom, you have to know something. Help a brother out." Chris said and I glared at him. His mouth opened into a 'o' of surprise and then grinned at me. "Oh, I see."

"Hu?"

"You like her!"

"Hu?" Where was he getting this conclusion from?

"Oh, come on! You do!" Chris said beaming at me. I said nothing and that seemed to fuel Chris's 'theory'. OK, so I can't deny that I have feelings for Jude. I can't deny the fact that both times we kissed, I felt more satisfied than any good lay. "Come on Man! You can tell me." Yeah, right. He's worst than Kwest when it comes to lecturing…wait…better than, but worst on the encouraging me to break THE LAW.

"We're just friends." I stated. OK, so maybe a bit more than friends. Maybe on our way to something more but I can't take advantage of her right now. It's not the right time to start a relationship and I honest to god don't want to mess this up…whatever _this_ is.

"You just keep on telling yourself that." Chris said, rolling his eyes. He got up from the couch and glanced back down at me. "Tell yourself that when you look at her like she's walking sex."

Walking sex? Where the hell does he come up with these things!

I just stared at my brother in confusion and he smiled knowingly at me before walking out of the room. How did we go from his interest in Jude to mine? I frowned as I thought more about it. Speaking of Jude…I haven't seen her all day.

I got up off the couch and stretched a bit before walking off in search for my girl. I wandered around the house and heard a guitar being strummed. Intrigued, I followed the noise and stopped just outside of mom's 'studio' room. The door was closed but I could still make out what she was singing.

"Holding all your tears

Keeping all your pain inside."

I found myself nodding my head along with her melody. It was being played on an acoustic, but I found myself mentally adding piano to it. I don't know why, but it just seemed like it'd sound better to piano.

"With your back against the wall

heart falling from your hands."

I frowned at her lyrics. There was something about it. Something that seemed to hit home and I probably only heard a verse.

"You throw it in the river

The river's gonna hide it again."

She sang and then stopped, strumming along on her acoustic. Either she was stuck on lyrics or was trying to get the next verse right in her head. I sighed as I opened the door and glanced inside.

Jude promptly stopped playing and glanced up at me.

"Hey." She greeted, setting the guitar down and making notes on her paper.

"Hey." I greeted back and glanced at her journal and then back up at her. "You working again girl?"

"Yeah…I just…I had to do something, ya know?" She said looking sadly at me. I nodded in understanding and walked further into the room and sat down across from her on the floor.

"Whatcha got?" I asked her. I needed something to take my mind off of Chris and Mere. This was exactly the kind of distraction I needed.

"I don't even know if I like it." She said honestly. I shrugged.

"Who cares? Not like we officially started work on the third album." I told her and she sighed and handed me the journal she had opened. I instantly recognized it as the one I gave her a couple of months ago when we finished production on her album. I didn't comment on the fact and read the scribbled lyrics she had wrote and crossed out about a million times.

"Damn girl, how do you keep track of all the changes?" I teased as I tried to read what she had wrote. She just rolled her eyes at me.

"I like it. " I said finally as I managed to read through the rough lyrics she had.

"Thanks." She said, smiling at me. I smiled back at her and she groaned. "Oh, don't tell me, 'but it'd be better if…' right?"

"In my, professional opinion-"

"Right, professional. More like, let's torture Jude and change her lyrics 50 thousand times before going back to the original." She whined.

"I'm not that bad."

"Yes you are." She insisted and I just shrugged.

"Fine, see if I help you on your next album." I said nonchalantly.

"Shut up, you know you're there." Jude said confidently as she grabbed the lyric book from me and stared critically at her written lyrics.

I didn't say anything to her last comment. She was sort of right. I really didn't want to hand her over to someone else, but at the same time…it would make life easier if we didn't work together. I wouldn't have to worry about the 'corporate' reasons about not giving into temptation.

"Ok, what's wrong?" She asked me finally and I grinned back at her.

"Thought you didn't want my help." I said smirking.

"Just tell me!" She said exasperated. I laughed at her and she smacked me. "It's not funny! It's going to bother me!" She insisted and I shook my head.

"Come on, let's work on rewriting this slop and we'll discuss lyric adjustments on the way. Deal?" I asked. She watched me a moment and then sighed.

"Deal."

"And then we'll talk about your chord variations." I told her and she groaned.

"Forget it, go!" She said, I think, jokingly. I just laughed at her and flipped the page in her notebook, waiting for her to sing. She sighed and started up. I wrote down what she sang and offered a few suggestions. We argued over adjustments and variations like usual.

It felt good to finally do something else except for worry. For a few hours, I was able to get my mind off of Mere and her sickness and I had Jude to thank for that.


	17. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Earlier this morning, Celeste asked Tommy and me to run to the store to get her some things for the house. Little did I know that a trip to the store was just over an hours drive through the winding wilderness. OK, so the scenery is pretty and all, but come on! There are only so many 'naked' trees you can stare at before you've seen them all!

After an incredibly long drive, we ended up at the closest store, which was more like a whole in the wall grocery store, but it worked for the area. It was cute on the outside, but kind of run down on the inside. Definitely a place you'd check the sell by and expiration dates before purchasing; and even then you'd probably still inspect it before consuming.

Tommy divided the list in half and I was scouring the store for the items on the list. I managed to find the majority of the stuff and I roamed the store and found Tommy a few aisles over.

We finished getting the rest of the items and as we headed over to the cashier, Tom stopped abruptly and asked me to go find some pasta.

"We already got it." I told him, trying to figure out why he was trying to get rid of me. Something was up, I could tell. It was too…abrupt and sudden.

"No, we didn't." He insisted as he glanced behind himself nervously and then back at me again, almost quickly. I frowned and watched him in suspicion.

"Tommy…" I started and when I saw the look on his face, the look that said he wasn't going to give in, I sighed and turned back to the aisles, to find 'pasta' that I know we already grabbed.

--------------

I watched her go and turned back to the magazine rack. A tabloid cover had quickly caught my eyes and I didn't want Jude to see it; not yet. I glanced over my shoulder and made sure she was gone before picking up the magazine and flipping to the featured article and cursed as I saw the pictures.

It must have been the night Jude had told me about before. The blackmail pictures. There was a picture of Jude with some guy; I'm guessing her blackmailer, and then a few of her looking downright obnoxious. There was no indication of her drinking. There was a small article that went with it; nothing too reputation damaging since it just insinuated this random guy was her new boy-toy but I knew it'd upset Jude if she saw it. Hell, I was ticked off and I knew it was all a lie.

I sighed heavily and walked over to the cashier; thankfully, I know the whole staff which consisted of roughly 5 people on a good week.

"Excuse me." I called to the bored teenager.

"Yes Mr. Quincy?" He asked me and I rolled my eyes. They don't get it, I tell them not to call me Mr. Quincy and they still insist upon it.

"How much?" I asked gesturing to the stack of magazines.

"2.99." He answered me boredly. I sighed. The kid obviously wasn't catching my drift.

"For all of them." He looked up with a startled expression.

"'cuse me?" He asked.

"You heard me."

"You want all of them?"

"Yes. What part of that didn't you get?" I asked feeling annoyed.

"Erm…"

"Look, I only want one, but I don't want my friend to see these." I told him and the teenager looked flustered and I sighed. "Bill here?" I asked him and he nodded and ran off to find the manager who's been here since I was growing up. I know I could bribe him into not selling anymore copies, but it would take some work. Hopefully, Jude was preoccupied for the moment.

"Tom!" Bill greeted me, smiling cheerfully at me.

"Hey Bill." I greeted back and he looked sternly at me. Bill was nearing his 60's. He was a friendly man with silver hair and a southern drawl even though he spent his whole life in Montana.

"What's wrong Tom? Nick not givin ya a hard time is he?" Bill asked sternly and I smiled at the old man before me.

"No, not at all." I said reassuringly and sighed. "I need to ask you a favor." I added and the old man's grey eyes narrowed as he looked at me.

"What kind of favor?"

"Ya know the new edition of Talk National?" I asked and he nodded.

"With the Harrison girl on the cover?"

"That's the one."

"What about it?" He asked me, looking suspicious.

"I don't want you to sell it."

"Oh really? You don't want me to sell it. Then what do you want me to do with it?" He asked me, looking annoyed.

"Bill, Jude's a friend of mine." I told him and added "I'll pay for the copies, I'll even pay extra for storage or the costs to destroy them. I don't care, name you're price; I just don't want to see these around town." I told him and Bill watched me for a moment, trying to figure out if I was serious or not.

"You care for this girl?"

"More than anything." I answered without thinking twice about it. Bill smiled at me, his knowing smile that lit up his eyes.

"We have a deal." Bill told me and we shook on it. Bill had one of the other boys take the magazines down and I stuck one in my pants under my shirt to look at later. I wanted to see what this was and I made a mental note to call Kwest and ask how this was being dealt with on the G Major end.

As I was being rung up, Jude stalked over to me, an unhappy look on her face.

"What took you so long?" I asked her as she slapped a box of pasta noodles on the register.

"Don't even go there." She said a deadly look in her eyes and I winced at it. Note to self: don't send Jude on a wild goose chase. I smiled at her and gave the kid my credit card. I was going to have one hell of a bill but it was worth it in the long run.

"Come on, let's go get lunch." I told her as we walked out of the store and loaded the truck with groceries we got for ma mere.

"Lunch?"

"Unless you want to wait til we get back to the house…" I told her and watched as her eyes widened.

"No, lunch is good!" She insisted and I smiled at her enthusiasm. I started the truck and drove off to an out of the way restaurant I knew of that was usually all locals and we wouldn't have to worry too much about the tourist ski-ers wanting autographs or pictures; after all, they all knew 'little Tommy Q' before he was famous. Why did they need autographs when they had stories?


	18. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

We made it to a small diner with no incident. We got out of Tom's truck and walked into the small place.

It was a standard diner with patrons seated at tables; many were older with an open newspaper and sipping coffee. Others chatted animatedly with each other. No one seemed to notice or care that two 'rock stars' just walked in the door and that was a refreshing change.

"Just two?" A waitress asked coming up to us. Tommy nodded and I saw his eyes staring at her rather busty chest.

I forced myself not to roll my eyes and I jabbed him sharply in the side. He looked at me and I said nothing to him. She began to lead us to a table when I heard someone yell out:

"Hey! You're Hoe-ness!"

_What the?_ I looked around curiously, trying to figure out who this chick was referring to.

I glanced over at Tommy and saw a grin on his face. _Did I just miss something_?

The girl who called out walked over to us and stopped just before Tommy, her hands on her hips.

She wore a pleaded skirt that went down just above the knee of her long and slender legs. She wore knee high boots that were laced up and added about 3 inches to her height. She was slim with a rather large chest and wore a low cut sweater that hugged her in the right places and showed off her cleavage. She had her shoulder length blonde hair curled perfectly and her make up complimented her complexion to a t.

"Hey man, nice rack!" Tommy greeted and I looked at him in disgust. He's such a…a…GUY! She just smiled at him sweetly and stepped closer.

"What the hell Tom! You don't call, you don't write…" She said, taking him into a hug. Tommy just laughed and hugged her back. "And who's this young thing?"

"Kelly, this is Jude, Jude, Kelly." Tommy introduced. I waved 'hi' and she pulled me into a friendly hug.

"Nice to meet ya, Jude." She gushed. Um…right. Ok.

Kelly turned her attention back to Tommy.

"Come on, join me, tell me all you're dirty little secrets and I'll tell you no lies." Kelly said, taking Tommy's hand and he followed her through the restaurant. I sighed and watched them go.

_Who was this girl?_ I wondered as I followed them, watching Kelly caress Tommy's hand as they walked. Tommy didn't do anything to stop her ministrations and I wanted nothing more than to tell her to back off.

We sat down at Kelly's table, Tommy across from her and I next to Tommy. The waitress followed us over and Tommy and I put our drinks in; Diet Coke for me and Dr. Pepper for Tommy.

"Come on Tom, spill. What's so important you couldn't give me a ring to let me know you're back in town?" Kelly asked and I swear I saw her running her boot up Tommy's leg.

_Tramp._

"Family business." Tommy answered simply and Kelly got a sympathetic look in her eyes. "What've you been up to? It's been ages." Tommy said, looking happy. I felt my eyes narrow slightly.

"oh, same old shit. Nothing too exciting here." Kelly answered, crossing her legs under the table and I saw her stretch and I swear I saw her hair move on top of her head. I blinked and looked at the blonde hair.

_Now that I look closer…is that a wig_?

Sure enough, Kelly shook her head slightly and her hair did move. She sighed and reached up and pulled the wig off her head and set it down on the seat next to her.

Oh. My. God.

"Sorry, my head's sweating." Kelly said, looking apologetically at me and I tried hard not to gape.

_She's not a she. Nope. Kelly's a guy. Oh my god. I'm such an idiot_!

"It's fine." I managed to choke out and Tommy gave me an odd look and then I saw his expression change to an 'oh' and he started to laugh. Kelly joined in and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"It's not funny." I muttered, feeling like the world's biggest idiot. _How could I not notice before?_

"No sweat, it happens." Kelly told me, laughing good naturedly.

"Kelly and I go way back." Tommy explained.

"Yeah…he's always been jealous of my nice legs!" Kelly said, stretching one of his legs out for me to see. Hell, I was jealous!

"Oh yeah…" Tommy said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

The waitress came back with our drinks and set them down.

"You ready to order?" She asked us and I shook my head no. I hadn't even glanced at the menu. She sighed and walked off to another table and I felt like a naughty kid who wasn't doing what I was told.

I grabbed a menu and started looking at it while Tommy and Kelly chatted away about what they had been up to the last few years. But I did learn some interesting tidbits. After I found what I wanted, we ordered and Kelly began to tell me stories of Tommy, all of which Tommy tried to deny.

For instance, did you know Little Tommy Q is terrified of spiders? I'm serious, Kelly went through this huge story about how Tommy screeches like a girl when he sees one. And Tommy denied the fact he screams like a girl, but he wouldn't demonstrate so I don't have a clue yet.

As we were eating, one of our cell phones went off. The three of us all grabbed our phones and it turned out Tommy was the one who was ringing. He excused himself from the table and went outside to take care of his call, saying it was important.

"So, Jude, what about you." Kelly asked me.

"What about what?" I asked, trying to figure out what he wanted to know.

"What's your story?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"Nothing big. I won a singing contest and became Tommy's artist."

"His artist that he brought with him to Montana to see the family?" Kelly asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

"We're just friends." I told him. Maybe. I wasn't sure on that one. He round-about-ly told me he cared for me when I got here…and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship right now. I'm not sure what to think about it…but for now, we're friends. I would go crazy if I tried to figure out the mystery that's Tom Quincy.

Kelly smiled knowingly at me.

"you're more than friends." I stared at him in confusion and he just smiled.

"He cares about you. I even suspect he loves you." Kelly told me and I stared at him questioningly. "I've known Tom since before you were even conceived. I can see it."

"I care about him too." I told Kelly and Kelly smiled.

"Be patient with Tom. He's got that tough guy attitude but underneath that…he's a big grade a chicken."

I smiled at the description. I knew that was how Tommy was. He always ran scared when things got more emotional than he was ready for. I got a better perspective on his personality and why he turned out the way he did over the past few days. It was hard not to between his mother, his siblings, and now what Kelly tells me.

"I'm serious though. Give him time. He'll come around."

"I'm just afraid it's going to be **too** much time." I told Kelly, not really sure why I was expressing my fears to someone I just met. Kelly nodded in understanding and gave me a reassuring smile.

"He didn't sent you home now did he." Kelly pointed out. And I couldn't think of anything to say in return.

----------

I stepped outside the diner and answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey T, what's going on?" I heard Kwest, my best friend back home, ask me. I sighed.

"It's going. Kwest, what's up?" I asked and Kwest hesitated a moment.

"I know about the pictures…and the article." I told him and I heard Kwest blow out some air in relief. What was that suppose to mean?

"That makes things easier." Kwest admitted.

"Jude doesn't know yet…what's going on there? How's Darius handling it?" I asked and Kwest sighed.

"He's pissed and has all the PR people in conference all day…they're working overtime on this right now." Kwest told me and I felt relieved. At least D was taking care of things.

"He know who this kid is?" I asked.

"No. Not yet." Kwest told me and I sighed. Great. "How's things with your mom?" Kwest asked.

"I don't want to talk about that." I told him honestly. I didn't. I needed to not think about it.

"I get that. Just thought I'd check in and keep you posted." Kwest told me.

"Thanks Kwest." I told him, meaning it. He's a good friend and I don't always acknowledge that.

"I got to go though; things are insane around here." Kwest said and I winced. I know part of that was my fault for leaving so suddenly. "I'll keep you posted."

"Please do." I told him and Kwest hung up. I sighed and rubbed my temples.

This wasn't suppose to be happening. Ma Mere wasn't suppose to be sick and Jude isn't suppose to have a weird ass stalker. I wasn't suppose to be here. I was suppose to have taken her to dinner before her release party. It was suppose to be our first date and everything was suppose to be perfect. We should have been working on her third album by now or figuring out a tour; not how to get this nut job from posting those pictures all over the place.

It wasn't going as planned; not at all. You'd think I'd be use to it by now; Nothing ever seems to go my way. I was suppose to have a solo album by now, not producing. I wasn't suppose to fall in love with my artist. I wasn't even suppose to be in Toronto; I hated Toronto. Always have.

But no. Everything that wasn't suppose to happen, happened. Some of it worked out for the better. Example, if I had gotten my solo career, I wouldn't have met Jude. I can't complain over that. It's just everything else that seemed to be shot my way.

I sighed and shook my head to clear my thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking of this right now. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and took a couple deep breaths to steady myself and I turned around and walked back into the diner, slightly worried what Kelly blabbed during my time away.

----------

"So, what do I need to deny this time?" He asked as he sat back down, looking back and forth between me and Kelly. Kelly winked at me and I smiled. Tommy kept looking between us and Kelly gave me a smile that mirrored my own.

"Uh-ho." I heard Tommy say and Kelly winked at me and turned to Tommy.

"What would I tell her you don't want her to know? I mean, she already knows the worst things about you…and it's not like I told her about that time you got caught skinny dipping in the pond." Kelly said casually and I burst into laughter. Tommy's eyes narrowed and Kelly grinned.

_I think I like Kelly. _


	19. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – fixed!**

We made it back to the house with no incident. I tried to help Tommy carry groceries into the house but he wouldn't let me. I don't know what was with the macho man, 'I have to do the carrying' thing, but I wasn't going to complain too much.

I walked into the house and into the family room. I took a moment to look at the pictures hanging on the walls and in frames sitting on the side tables and fireplace mantle.

Most of them were of Adele and Serena. A couple of…what I think is Chris, and very few of Tommy. I think. If I got them right anyway.

I only saw one picture of the siblings together and it looked like it was from about 10 years ago. Even when she was younger, Adele was strikingly beautiful. She had this bright smile on her face, her eyes filled with laughter. I was able to tell who was Tommy easily in that picture even though he and Chris looked more alike then than they do now; Tommy had a brooding look in his eyes and Chris looked relatively happy, his arm around his brother's shoulders and Adele standing daintily on Chris's other side.

I smiled at it and I turned sharply when I heard someone enter the room. I balked slightly when I saw, who I knew to be, Chris collapse down on the sofa and bury his head in his hands.

I watched him for a moment and he didn't move. He stayed in his hunched forward position, head to the floor. I don't think he even knew I was in the room. I debated a moment about leaving the room and staying and finding out what happened with Chris. I sighed. We weren't close anyway.

I stepped away from the mantle and began heading towards the doorway.

"Don't go." I heard Chris's voice say I stopped in my tracks and turned around. He hadn't moved from his original place and I was surprised he even knew I was here. I stayed where I stopped, watching him a moment, not sure what to do. What I should do.

"OK." I said, my voice coming out small and I walked over to where he was sitting and sat down beside him. An uncomfortable silence stretched before us and I could hear the clock on the mantle ticking the seconds away.

"Do…do you want to talk about it?" I asked him finally. He sat up and looked over at me. His eyes were bloodshot and tear filled, like he was trying not to cry.

"Not really." He told me and I sighed. _Great_. "But I will." He added and I watched him, a skeptical look on my face.

"You don't have to." I told him, looking into his eyes. "If you don't want to." He gave me a small smile, one that reminded me so much of his brother. I had to remember, this wasn't Tommy or a substitute for him. Even if they're twins, they have to be different. At least…somewhat.

"It's kind of stupid." He told me, a small laugh escaping his throat.

"Not if it's got you upset." I said honestly. Chris turned to look at me, his eyes soft. _There's that look again! The one that I sometimes see on Tommy when he looks at me. _

"Mere and I got into a fight." He told me and I waited for him to continue. "She just…she doesn't slow down! She keeps going like nothing is wrong and I can tell she's getting sicker and weaker and every time I tell her to go rest and I'll take care of things she just…she ignores it. She's going to push herself into the hospital and there's nothing I can do about it." Chris confessed, looking angered and saddened all at the same time.

"She's a strong lady."

"But not that strong." Chris said, clenching his jaw. "She's terminally ill. The odds are stacked so high against her…she probably could beat this if she'd just…listen."

"Chris, as much as you probably don't want to hear it, maybe she doesn't want to be slowed down. Maybe she wants to keep living her life to the fullest she can until…"

"Until it kills her?"

"But she'll be happy." I concluded. Chris was silent for a moment.

"I know that it's selfish, but I want her to live forever."

"It's got to be hard. I couldn't imagine what you, Tommy, and Adele are feeling right now."

"No one knows what Tommy and Adele feel." Chris said bitterly. I didn't comment. It wasn't the time to argue. "But it's hell. I hate knowing that one of these days could be her last."

"You can't think like that." I told him and he looked at me, a confused look on his face. "If you keep thinking this could be her last day, then you're not going to enjoy your time with her. You're going to keep thinking about the bad stuff when you should think about the good times. Just…enjoy the time you have left no matter how much there is left."

Chris nodded showing that he heard me. He didn't say anything in response for a long moment.

"I can see why Tom likes you." He finally confessed. It was my turn to look confused. "You're honest." He said simply, his voice coming out in an odd tone.

"Isn't that how a friend's suppose to be?" I asked and he smiled gratefully at me.

"Thanks Jude." He told me, turning to face me on the couch. I felt myself grow a bit uneasy but I pushed the thought from my mind.

"You're welcome." He smiled at me and I watched him as he leaned closer to me and it seemed like he was going to kiss me. I turned my head to the side so he would miss my lips and he ended up kissing my cheek, his lips lingering longer than necessary.

I heard someone walk into the room and I pulled away from Chris and saw Tommy standing in the doorway, a look of mild surprise on his face. As quickly as the expression appeared, it was gone and his face was unreadable. Even his normally expressive eyes didn't reflect a bit of emotion.

"Don't let me interrupt." He said, glancing back and forth between me and Chris.

"I won't." Chris shot back and the two glared at each other from across the room.

_Um…what is going on?_

Tommy walked further into the room and smirked at his brother.

"Then continue." He said, his voice sounding daring. Chris watched his brother a long moment, as if he were trying to figure out how serious he was being. Tom's expression didn't change. His eyes challenged Chris to do…whatever, his blue eyes blazing and arms crossed over his chest.

"Do I sense a touch of" Chris started and I cut him off quickly, leaping up from my seat and grabbing Tommy's arm.

Both men watched me as I tried to drag Tommy off with me…and he wasn't helping me any.

"Come on Tom! I need your help with something." I told him, tugging on his arm again in an attempt to get him to walk with me. Tommy just gave me a skeptical look and shot his brother one more glare before following me out of the room.

"What?" Tommy asked me when we got into the hallway.

"What! What is your problem!" I demanded, irritated by the macho male behavior between Tommy and Chris. We continued down the hallway and as we walked, Tommy looked confused and before I could say anything else, Adele rounded the corner. We simultaneously stopped in our tracks and let her pass us.

"Lover's quarrel?" She asked with a smirk as she brushed past us.

I pursed my lips in annoyance and didn't say anything in response. She just sashayed down the hallway and once she disappeared I turned back to Tommy, glaring at him.

"What the hell was that in there!" I asked him and Tommy gave me a look of surprise and smirked.

"You really don't know?" He asked, looking incredulous.

"No, I don't. And you better explain." I told him, feeling annoyed.

"I think you need to talk things over with my brother." Tommy told me curtly and began walking down the hallway.

"Excuse me?" I asked and he stopped and turned around to face me.

"Jude, you can't tell me you're that blind." He told me, scoffing.

_What is he talking about?_ I wondered. I stared at him in confusion for awhile and he didn't offer anymore of an explanation.

"But...then again, they do say love is blind." He informed me and turned and walked down the hallway out of sight, a sudden chill overcoming me.


	20. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I watched him go a moment, confusion covering my features. _What was that about?_ I wondered.

"Tommy!" I called out desperately as I ran after him. I didn't want to leave things on a sour note. I wanted to find out what his problem was and what the hell he meant.

True to form, my life can never be so easy. I turn the corner and, literally, ran straight into Adele. She gave an "oof" as I collided into her and she swayed slightly before keeping herself balanced. I, on the other hand, landed face down on the carpeted hallway, and I suspected a possible rug burn on my left arm from the burning sensation coming from it, air rushing from my lungs and leaving me gasping before her manicured feet.

"Lovers quarrel?" She asked me, a smirk on her face. I glared up at her and got up from the floor, not even bothering to brush myself off. I knew I looked like a homeless person next to her and I could care less.

"It's none of your business if it is." I spat back, and she just smirked at me.

"It's my brother you're fornicating with." She stated. "That makes it my business." She added, matter-of-factly. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Really now?" I asked her and before I could think twice, I continued. "Because, I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself."

Adele's expression didn't change much. Her eyes narrowed slightly to reflect her annoyance but otherwise, she didn't show a single emotion. _What the hell was this woman? A damn robot?_

"And furthermore, for it to be your business, you'd have to actually _talk_ to your brother and _listen_ and _interact_ with him more than just whenever is deemed necessary by your standards." I ranted, I paused for a deep breathe. I was on a roll. I was going to keep going, but her eyes stopped me. She gave me an appraising look; a thoughtful look. Like she was actually seeing the real me.

"You care about my brother, don't you." She stated, and I wasn't sure if it was meant as a question or a statement, but I answered anyway.

"Of course."

Adele smiled at me and patted my shoulder before walking away from me. I watched her go in confusion. What is with this family in odd exits? I wondered as I remembered I was running after Tommy and resumed my search of the house for him.

My search turned up nothing and I didn't get anything out of it besides get tired and sweaty. I made a mental note to stick a tracking device on Tommy and made my way into the bedroom to change out of my clothes and relax for a bit; maybe write something.

I closed the door behind me and locked it as I stripped off my jeans and sweater and discarded them before replacing them with a new set. After I was changed, and feeling relatively human again, I unlocked the door and opened my suitcase for my lyric journal and found it missing. I sat back and thought about where I last had it.

I know I worked on that song the other day in the "studio" but I put it away. I know I did. I sighed and began digging around and pulling stuff out to see if it got pushed to the bottom of the luggage. After taking nearly everything out of it, my red lyric book was no where to be seen. I felt myself beginning to panic slightly.

"No, it's got to be here." I told myself as I opened the different zippers and dug around, not coming up with my treasure. I sat back on the floor of the small room and glanced around critically, trying to scope a place that it could have been placed. Screw it. I thought as I jumped up and began opening drawers and searching for my notebook.

My search ended in vain and I let out a scream of frustration. I had nothing but clothes thrown all over the floor and no notebook to at least make me feel accomplished. I pursed my lips in annoyance and glanced around, looking to see if I missed a location it could have been in.

My eyes zeroed in on the phone stand and I rushed over to it, pulling the drawer open and sifting through the papers until I felt something glossy. I froze for a moment and pulled the material out from underneath the stacks of papers. Once it was free, I looked at it and my heart stopped. My body froze. A buzzing began to ring in my ears and I felt dizzy. I felt my legs grow weak and I fell to the floor in a daze, my eyes never leaving what was before me.

It was a newer edition of Talk National. My face was on the cover; a picture taken by an amateur photographer. The caption read "New Beau for Jude Harrison?" in large bolded font. I recognized this picture; it was in the stack of blackmail pictures. Something I had managed to forget about in the time I'd come here. I felt tears sting my eyes and I couldn't take my eyes away from the headline. Tears blurred my vision and streamed unchecked down my face.

Oh my god. I thought, my heart racing.

"Jude?" I heard a soft voice say, but I couldn't look up. I couldn't force myself to look away from the magazine before me. I felt an uncertain hand on my shoulder and I slapped it away, my head snapping up from the magazine to the person before me.

"You…" I said, my voice venomous. I couldn't get anything else out. Gone was my shock. It was suddenly replaced by an anger I didn't know I was capable of. I forced myself to my feet and I stared into Tom's concerned blue eyes.

"Jude, what…?" I didn't hear the rest of he said. I closed my fist around the magazine and I thrust it at him.

"What the hell is this!" I demanded, Tommy glanced at the magazine and then back up at me. Yup, just what I thought. I saw a look of sympathy in his eyes that I wanted to literally slap off his face.

"Jude, let me"

"Explain? You damn right better explain why the hell you didn't tell me." I exploded. I could see red before my eyes and I wanted nothing more than to hit him. Why didn't he tell me? I wondered.

"Because I wanted…I wanted to protect you." He admitted.

"Protect me!" I yelled. I turned away from him no longer able to face him. If I looked into his eyes one more time, I'd hit him. "What gives you the right to protect me!" I yelled, turning back around so I wasn't accused of cowardice.

"Because I **care** about you." He stressed.

"Right, you cared enough to leave!" I tossed back. He looked away from me and down at the floor for a moment. I knew it was a low blow, but damn it, I wanted to hurt him. I didn't want to feel like this and it was his fault anyway.

"Jude…"

"Save it for someone who cares." I spat.

"You don't mean that." He said, looking into my eyes, his blue eyes soft and I felt my resolve crack a bit.

"Maybe, I do."

"You don't." He insisted, and took a step closer to me. "I'm sorry Jude," He said softly as he stepped still closer, slowly and cautiously like he was afraid I was going to strike. Maybe, I would. I don't know. I felt…confused. A minute ago, I wanted to kill him. And now…now I wasn't so sure. "I should have told you." He said honestly, stopping before me. We stood toe to toe, and he bent his head down so we were staring directly into each others eyes and I was lost. Lost in the depths of his blue orbs and I wanted nothing but to continue to drown in his blue eyes.

I felt his hand caress my cheek and I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensation; the utter bliss that only his touch could make me feel. Time seemed to stop. I heard nothing, saw nothing, and felt nothing…nothing but him and me and his ability to overpower my senses.

I felt his lips touch mine, gently and slightly hesitant. I thought I imagined it at first and I responded to his kiss, deepening it and making it more emotional. In real time, it probably didn't last long, but to me…it felt like forever. I could have stood there, his arm around my waist, lips against mine, for an eternity and been happier than ever.

"Tommy, I…" A voice said and trailed off. Tommy and I broke apart and looked towards the open door. Chris stood in the doorway, eyes diverted to the floor as if it hurt him to look at us.

"What?" Tommy asked, sounding annoyed by the interruption.

"It's mom." Chris said, his voice steady. He looked up in our general direction but never meeting neither of our eyes. I felt my heart stop at his words. Something about the way he said it made a feeling of dread wash over me. Oh god. Don't tell me… "She's…she's not doing well." Chris said, his voice breaking slightly.

Tommy paled visibly and I wanted nothing more than to comfort him and make his pain go away.

"I think…" Chris started to say and trailed off, his eyes meeting us, the message clear. It's time.

Tommy nodded and Chris sighed and turned and then paused before he left us completely alone.

"Adele and I are down in the family room. We're going to discuss what to do. If you want to join." He added before leaving the room. Once he was gone, I lay a hand on Tommy's shoulder and squeezed.

He looked at me and gave me a half smile, his eyes reflecting his sadness.

"I'm going to go downstairs…you can come if you want." Tommy told me, and I nodded, taking his hand. He looked down at our intertwined fingers, an unconscious gesture on both of our parts. He squeezed my hand to express his gratitude and we walked silently down the stairs.

I knew he needed my silent support now more than ever. I knew what was going to be discussed. Chris had kind of eluded to it earlier today.

Celeste wasn't doing well at home anymore. It was clear to everyone. She never would tell her children, but everyone could sense and see her getting weaker. It was time to discuss bringing her to the hospital once again; maybe it would at least make her final days a bit more comfortable or even give her body the power to keep on fighting.


	21. Chapter 19

**A/N: **And another chapter down…and now you've officially all been caught up:D I'm actually working on typing up what I have of chapter 20 and then need to make a decision where that chapter is going to end. Ah, the plot is unrolling and I'm looking forward to the next segment…it's the "good stuff". I'm glad you're still with me and again, I'm sorry about the mix up with chapter 17. I'm just glad that's all cleared up and ok…or at least, I hope it is. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and hopefully 20 will be coming soon!

**Chapter 19**

**The Next Morning**

Tommy, Chris, and Adele convinced Celeste to go into the hospital, finally admitting her illness was beyond their control. The family was in the room with Celeste, helping to make her feel at home. I was out in the waiting room with Serena. Tom and Chris were surprised when Adele had handed her off to me. For the majority of the night, the three year old slept, curled up in my lap.

I wasn't able to sleep. I stroked Serena's soft black hair and hummed to myself. I wanted to be with Tommy, but I knew he had to be with his family right now and someone had to spare Serena's innocence for another couple of years.

"Auntie Jude?" I heard her little voice say. I glanced down, surprised to see that she had sat up and was looking at me with her wide dark eyes.

"Yes Serena?" I had gave up telling her not to call me Auntie. She didn't listen and I was starting to like the sound of it.

"Is Grandmere sick?" She asked me and I sighed.

"Yes, Grandmere's sick." I answered her, not quite sure how to answer it. Serena looked confused for a moment. She was smart for a three year old and I wondered what her next question was going to be.

"When I'm sick…mommy don't take me to the hos…hositle." She told me, and I sighed. Why me? I don't want to explain this to her. I closed my eyes.

"Grandmere needs a special doctor." I told her.

"So…she's gonna get better?" Serena asked me, her big brown eyes wide. Before I could think up an answer, I saw Tommy walking wearily towards us. Her question forgotten, Serena leaped off my lap and ran over to Tommy. I noticed a fake smile appear on his face as he greeted his niece and carried her back over to me, Serena boasting about "Auntie Jude" the whole time.

My eyes never left Tommy's. He didn't look like he heard a word that Serena was saying. Though his 'mask' was up, I could see in his eyes the pain and sadness there. I felt my heart go out to him and I wanted nothing more than to just wrap my arms around him and take his pain away.

When they were before me, Serena squirmed out of Tommy's arms and plopped herself down in a seat next to me and began to play with her stuffed animal. I glanced up at Tommy and his eyes met mine before he sighed heavily and collapsed in the chair next to me.

"You look exhausted." I observed. It was true. His eyes were half mast and he sat slouched. Tommy never slouched. He glanced over me but said nothing. I reached up and lay a hand on top of his. He took my hand in his and squeezed it. Our fingers automatically intertwined and he looked away from me a moment. "How's Celeste doing?"

"She's resting…she's still trying to be strong." He told me and shook his head. "I just…had to get away." I nodded and squeezed his hand.

"Understandable." I told him, not too sure what else to say. "You should get some sleep."

Tommy shook his head negatively.

"I'll be fine."

"You won't be any good to Celeste if you get yourself sick." I told him and he turned to look at me sharply.

"I can't Jude." He told me, his voice breaking slightly.

I shifted in my seat and I pulled him into an awkward hug. He returned the embrace, leaning his head down to rest on my right shoulder. We sat like that for awhile. Just sitting together and comforting each other in our own way.

"I know I should have told you Jude." He finally said, breaking our silence. I pulled back from him a moment, puzzled. "About the article. I just…" He trailed off, looking like he was searching for the perfect next words.

"I know Tommy; I understand." I told him, looking away from him. "I was just…upset. I didn't expect to find that."

"Jude…"

"I don't want to think about it Tom. Don't worry about it." I told him. I honestly didn't want to think about Damien, the blackmail, or my life back in Toronto. I was liking the vacation from my life…even if the circumstances aren't the best.

"I do worry about it." He confessed and I started to say more but he stopped me with a soft look. "I worry about _you_." He stressed and I froze. My body and mind shut down. Did he just imply that…?

I jumped as I felt something tug on my sleeve and I saw Tommy smile slightly and I turned to see Serena and her small hands on my shirt.

"I drew you a picture!" She told me, beeming happily. In her other hand, held outstretched to me was a picture that Serena had drew. I looked down at it and my heart instantly melted. I don't know where she got the blank page and crayons, but she drew a "family portrait", including Adele, Celeste, Chris, herself, and me and Tommy…together, before the farm house.

"Thank you Serena." I told her, beaming at the three year old. She looked proudly at me and then made a shooing motion with her hands.

"I draw for Grandmere now." She informed me, picking up the crayons she had accumulated from god knows where and then began to color once again. I watched her a moment and then turned to look at Tommy. His look stopped me dead.

His gaze was oddly contemplative. Gone was the earlier look of exhaustion; his blue eyes perfectly clear as he looked at me.

"What?" I asked. He gave me a small smile and offered nothing. I glared at him and he looked away from me a moment.

"Just thinking."

"About?" I prodded and he looked back at me, directly into my eyes.

"Us." He stated simply. I sighed. Talking to Tommy is sometime harder to do than speaking to the three year old next to me.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked him and he glanced away from me a moment and stared at the floor of the waiting room.

"You ever feel like…just…giving in?" He asked and I frowned. _Where was **this** coming from? _

"Sometimes." I replied honestly and he nodded slightly, not looking at me.

"Sometimes…I wonder if the fight's worth it."

"Maybe it isn't." He looked up at me at that, his expression blank, but his eyes…his eyes were a storm of emotions and I thought I was going to drown just looking into them. _Just give in Tommy…give in for us._ I mentally pleaded.

"Thanks Jude!" I heard someone say and I snapped my head away from Tommy's gaze and saw Adele standing before us, her eyes looking back and forth between me and her brother.

"Oh, it was no problem. Serena's a great kid." I told her and Adele smiled at me.

"Mommy, go away! I color for Grandmere!" She told her mother when Adele attempted to pick her daughter up.

"Serena"

"It's a supprise!" Serena insisted. Adele sighed.

"Sweetie, we need to go get something to eat. How about we go home and you can finish your picture there and bring it back for Grandmere later?" Adele asked and Serena shook her head in the negative.

"Not hung-we!"

"Serena?"

"Yes Auntie Jude?"

"If you go home with Mommy, you can get your crayons and make Grandmere's picture even prettier." I told her and Serena looked at me with excited eyes.

"Weally?"

"Yup." I told her and Serena leaped off her seat and grabbed her Adele's hand.

"Come on Mommy! We go home!" She commanded and Adele smiled at me and mouthed 'Thanks' before leaving. I smiled triumphantly and I turned back to Tommy and saw him frowning.

"What?"

"Spill." He commanded.

"About?"

"You and Adele. What happened?" He asked.

"Don't know what you're talking about." I said, smirking at him. Tommy's eyes narrowed. "Girl stuff. It's over your head." I informed him and he glared at me. There was a beat of silence that passed over us.

"Jude, about before-"

"Who's up for some breakfast?" Tommy and I both turned to see Chris looking at us questioningly. I shrugged, I was hungry and it was 9:00 in the morning.

"I'm game." I responded and Chris beamed at me before looking at Tommy.

"You coming?" Chris asked and Tommy's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, count me in." Chris looked slightly disappointed and the look wasn't lost on Tommy.

_This will be a fun morning._ I thought to myself as I got up and followed Chris outside to his car, Tommy following _me_ relatively close behind.


	22. Chapter 20

**A/N: **Hey ya'll! I'm so glad you guys are still enjoying and intrigued by my fic! I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment since it's a bit of a filler between two events. I'm rather proud of how this chapter turned out. There are three drafts of this thing in my notebook, lots of things crossed out, arrowed, and otherwise proofed. This is the finished copy and I hope it's good for you guys. I also want to note: I do not speak French. Any translations are done from a free translation site because I don't know of anyone who speaks the language. If there's something wrong in the translation, please let me know and I'll correct it accordingly. I'd like the translations to be as accurate as possible and I apologize to the French in advance for most likely, slaughtering their language. I know translation sites aren't all that reliable but I work with what I got. Thanks in advance to anyone who corrects the incorrect…if it is. As far as I know, it's right…to a certain extent. Anyway, enough ramblings! Chapter 20 is now here…and I was going to put a teaser to 21 at the end, but I just don't know how that one is going to go. Heh. I've been trying, and I'll work a bit more on it. Anywho, onto the fic, and Kudos to anyone who read through the ramble…maybe I should post a quiz next time ;D?

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**Chapter 20**

"Thomas," my mother started and I looked up at her from my chair beside her bed. Her pale complexion is a stark contrast to the off-white pillow beneath her graying hair. She was tired and frail and I knew it wouldn't be long before the inevitable happened.

"You need to rest." I told her and she shook her head stubbornly at me. "Mere…" she reached out and took my hand and my protest was stopped. Her soft blue/grey eyes stared up at me and I knew she was going to tell me something important.

"Tell me about Jude." She stated and I frowned slightly, wondering why she wanted me to talk about Jude.

"Mere, you know all about"

"Thomas." She stated sternly and I was left more confused than I was before. Her tone told me I knew what she was referring to, but I was at a loss. "Your relationship." She iterated.

"We're just friends." I told her, not really knowing how true that statement was.

"Thomas, how do you _feel_ about her?" My mother asked me.

"Mere-"

"Thomas." I sighed. She wasn't going to give in.

"I…I don't know." I said honestly.

"Thomas, I know your childhood wasn't"

"It's not your fault."

"Let me finish Thomas." She told me and I sighed. She held my hand gently and looked me straight in the eyes. I dropped my gaze to the floor, knowing I didn't want to look into her eyes as she confessed her regrets about the way I grew up.

"You never did have a normal childhood." She said again. "And I'm sorry for that, mon fils. Your father was harsh on all of you and I was never as affectionate as I should have been. Could have been."

"You supported us, Mere. Me especially, and I couldn't ask for anything else." I told her truthfully.

"But it wasn't enough." I looked up and went to argue the point with her but her eyes stopped me. "You had to grow up fast and learn to live with disappointment and emotional abuse, and I fear this has done you more harm than good."

"Mere, don't worry about me."

"But I do Thomas." She told me. "You are so closed off that you don't realize what's in front of you."

I wanted to argue her, but somewhere, deep down, I knew she was right.

"You don't even recognize love when it's slapping you in the face."

"I don't even know what love is." I confessed. I knew what it was, but not enough to know IF I was in love or not.

"Love is both pleasure and pain. Love is a flame burning for an eternity." She said, her voice filled with passion. "It's the greatest emotion and is both cherished and feared."

"I know this Mere."

"When you picture your future, do you see her in it?" She asked me.

I didn't even need to think about that one.

"Yes," I responded automatically.

"That girl, she loves you Tom. You need to realize what you want or you're going to be kicking yourself on the sidelines, wishing _you_ were the guy in her life." She told me sternly and I looked away from her once again. I already felt that way. Shay. Jamie. Speed. "She isn't going to wait forever Thomas."

I didn't answer, but I focused on the floor beside her bed. Deep down, I knew all this. It was one thing to know…another to hear it all.

"You have to face your fear Thomas," She told me. "writing a song is like falling in love." She said. I smiled slightly.

"At first it's painful," I continued, finishing the quote she told me when I was growing up. "…but sometimes, you walk away with something beautiful." She smiled affectionately at me.

"l'amour ne pas connaît de limites." She told me in rapid French. Love knows no bounds.


	23. Chapter 21

**A/N: **I literally, just wrote this. I haven't proofed, I have no idea how it flows or whatever. I wanted to get this done and out so that way you guys got an update. I hope it works, I hope it makes sense, because…well, I've been forcing this out for awhile now. I hope it works and I hope you guys enjoy. I'm doing this on the fly, so I won't answer reviews until the next couple of days – just a heads up. I do plan on answering and commenting like usual. I hope you enjoy, I'm sorry it's been awhile. School and work are just insane right now. But I felt accomplished tonight…got more done school wise than I have in awhile, so I felt I could reward myself and you guys by writing. :D Enjoy the chapter. As always, reviews are life and make me happy and aspire to update sooner. Leave me some love…or hate if you really didn't like it. Again, I'm sorry if there's mistakes…but it's late. And I'm tired and don't feel like proofing 6 pages because I have a feeling I'm gonna get critical and then delete the chapter. Hopefully chapter 22 won't take too long. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 21**

"Tommy?" I called as I opened the door to Celeste's hospital room. I received no answer as I stepped in and shut the door softly behind me. Celeste was asleep in her bed, oxygen tubes in her nose to help her breathe easier. She looked pale and frail. I felt a pang in my chest as I thought this could be the last time I lay eyes on her.

The chair next to her bed was occupied. I walked over to it and sighed. Tommy was in the chair; his body slumped down, head resting on the very back of it, legs stretched before him. He didn't look comfortable at all. He stirred slightly and his eyes blinked open.

"Hey," I greeted quietly and he looked up at me. His eyelids stood at half mast, his blue eyes blood-shot and dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. His usually well manicured hair was sticking up in places that defied the very laws of gravity.

"Hey," He said, his voice heavy from sleep. His eyes flicked over to his mother and then back at me.

"Tommy-"

"Don't Jude." He said, looking into my eyes. He sensed the conversation I was going to rehash. But it needed to be. I was worried about him. Yes, his mother is in the hospital and dying from cancer. Yes, he was worried. Yes, he wanted to stay with her so she didn't die alone. I think part of it is guilt stemming from being gone so much from home as a teenager and an adult.

But, the man was wearing himself too thin. He wasn't sleeping…and if he was, it was in uncomfortable hospital chairs for 10-15 minutes at a time. He was going to wind up in the hospital himself if some kind of intervention didn't happen first.

"Tommy, you're going to make yourself sick." I protested, crossing my arms over my chest and staring him back in the eyes.

"I'm fine." He insisted.

"No, you're not." I countered. He sighed and looked away a moment. His jaw clenched slightly and I knew we were about to fight.

"I'm use to late nights and not enough sleep. I'm fine." He reiterated. It was true that he was use to late nights. We had pulled many in the studio over the last two years but never three days in a row.

"You're exhausted."

"I'll be fine." He insisted. I glared. He sighed and I continued to glare. I couldn't help it. He was being an idiot about this. What could it hurt to go home and sleep for a little bit? It's not like it'd kill him.

"Jude…" He said, his voice softer, eyes giving me a look that clearly said to leave this alone.

I turned away from him and glared at the wall. I did not want to see Tommy collapse from exhaustion and he was certainly headed in that direction, no matter how much he insisted otherwise.

"I'm going to get a coffee. You want anything?" I asked, needing to get away from him and clear my head. He shook his head no and I left the room.

"Jude…"

"Kill yourself for all I care." I spat back and left the room and headed down the hall to the cafeteria.

I know I'm being harsh…but, I'm worried about him. I want him to take care of himself and I don't know what to do.

I ended up ordering a small hot chocolate and sat down at one of the cafeteria tables. I cradled the cup in my hands and blew on the hot liquid a bit to cool it down before taking a long drink. I winced as it burned my tongue slightly and set it down, taking off the lid to allow more heat to escape.

I watched the steam raise into the air and I felt a tear fall down my face. Damn it, I didn't want to cry. I lifted my hand and wiped my eyes to find more tears falling. Shit.

I hid my face in my hands as the tears kept falling. I felt a presence standing next to me and I sniffed as I looked up.

Before me stood Adele, her chocolate brown eyes staring sympathetically at me. I looked away from her and tried to stop the tears from falling, but it didn't work. I didn't want to cry in front of Adele. I didn't want to cry period, but I was and I couldn't stop it. I heard a chair being pulled out and then a soft hand cover mine in a comforting gesture. I looked back up at the older woman and she handed me a tissue from her purse.

I took it and dabbed my eyes and sniffed once again.

"Are you ok?" Adele asked me. The answer was obvious but the gesture was kind all in itself.

"I'll be ok." I told her, my voice sounding pathetic from crying.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked, looking interested in what I had to say. I sighed.

"I don't want-"

"It's no problem." Adele said, smiling sweetly at me. I almost balked. Adele didn't look sweet. Adele didn't act nice to me. What's up with the change? I wondered to myself. I sighed once again.

"I'm worried about Tommy." I said, and shook my head. "I know it sounds rather trivial, but"

"I am too." Adele confessed and I couldn't hold back the look of surprise.

"He just…he's so stubborn and I know he's going to get himself sick and…" I shook my head. "I know it seems trivial compared to everything else that's going on but"

"You love him." Adele said, her voice simple.

"Yeah, I do." I said, feeling hopeless at the admission. Adele smiled wickedly at me and got up from her seat. I looked quizzically at her and she just beamed at me.

"It's time for some intervention." She proclaimed, winked and left the cafeteria and me. I stared after her in confusion as she strutted with a purpose, down the hall. I sighed and took another drink of my hot chocolate. I had no idea what Adele had planned, but I didn't want too much part in it. Nothing I said could get through his stubborn skull and I didn't know what else to do or try.

I took another drink of my hot chocolate and glanced around the cafeteria. All over the small area were friends and family of other hospitalized parties. Some talked merrily others were sitting with glum looks on their faces, and still others looked sick with worry. I momentarily wondered why they were here. For routine surgery? Illnesses? Accident victim maybe? There are so many reasons to be in a hospital, it's too depressing to think about. Having stayed here for nearly 3 days straight, it's overwhelming. People come and go. Some have been here longer than we have. Others get admitted. Some, readmitted due to a complication. It's depressing really. To think there's that much illness in the world…not even the world. Just one county in one state in the United States.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to think like that. Life isn't clear of all obstacles, but to see so many in such a short time…it's insane. I don't know how doctors and nurses do it. I know they help people, but at the same time, they can't save everyone. How do they deal with the losses? How can they recover and move onto another patient like nothing happened? I couldn't do it. I wouldn't want to do it. Being around so much illness, pain, and death…it would depress me.

I sighed and took another drink of the still hot liquid. I looked down at the table and my thoughts drifted to home. I missed my family. I missed my dad. I missed my mom who was gallivanting with her new husband. I even missed my sister. I missed Patsy and Jamie and the SME boys. I missed Mason, my gay best friend. I missed recording. I missed the studio. Hell, I missed Canada. But I didn't want to be home right now. I didn't want to go back to Toronto and face the black mail. Face the disappointment. Face life without Tommy for however long it would be. Face the music. Face that I ran away from my problems.

I heard someone approach and I glanced up to see Adele and Tommy standing before me. Adele looked pleased with herself and Tommy looked like the walking dead. I looked quizzically back and forth between the pair, waiting for someone to start talking. Adele patted Tommy's shoulder and beamed at me.

"Go home, get some sleep." Adele told her brother and he sighed like he didn't want to be there but was overruled. I bit back a smirk by taking another drink of my hot chocolate.

"You ready?" Tommy asked me and I nodded. I slid the chair back and got up. I pushed the chair back in and grabbed my hot chocolate as Tommy began to leave the room. I mouthed a thanks to Adele and rushed after him.

We got to the parking lot in silence and Tommy reached into his coat and pulled out his keys. I was going to protest about him driving, but I didn't want to start another argument and kept my mouth shut.

As we approached his truck, he hit the remote lock and handed me the keys and walked around to the passenger door. I was surprised, but I recovered quickly and got in the drivers door. I adjusted the seat by moving it forward a good American foot and adjusted the mirrors. I stuck the key in the ignition and the truck roared to life.

"You know how to get back?" Tommy asked me and I glanced over at him. He had moved the seat back and had it reclined half way.

"Yeah, I think so." I said, as I found the lights and flicked them on. Tommy didn't comment as I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the streets. The ride back was quiet with the sound of the heater blowing the whole way. I hit a red light and I glanced over to see he had fallen asleep. I smiled to myself and continued the drive home.

I didn't mind the silence and I concentrated on the road and the way back to his mother's house. I found it with no real difficulty and cut the engine. Tommy still hadn't woke up. I smiled and unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over and gave him a small shake. He woke up and glanced at me as he opened his eyes.

"We're back." I told him as he yawned and nodded. We got out of the truck and I handed him back his keys. We both remained silent as we entered the house. Tommy slipped off his shoes and coat and did the same.

"Jude," He started to say and then stopped. I looked over at him and noticed an odd look on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to phrase it.

"What?" I asked as he moved closer to me.

"I'm tired of hiding." He told me and I looked at him, feeling confused. He stared into my eyes and I found I couldn't look away. I felt his hand caress my cheek and I closed my eyes at the feeling, my heart fluttering and my skin tingling where this fingers touched my skin.

"Hiding what?" I managed to breathe out as I opened my eyes to look back into his. His blue eyes were so intense that I found myself drowning in his gaze. His presence was overwhelming my senses and I didn't know how to respond to him. He smiled slightly at me and took my hand in his. His gaze dropped to our intertwined hands.

"This." He said, looking back up into my eyes. "Whatever this is." He added. I blinked my confusion. What was he talking about?

"Tommy, I"

"Jude…I'm sick of pretending I don't care about you…like I don't want you." He told me, his voice sounding tired. "I'm done pretending." He said, looking into my eyes and I could see that he was serious.

I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. My brain stopped functioning at his proclamation. Sure, it wasn't that romantic, but it's something I've wanted to hear since I was 15. That he cared about me. That he _wanted_ me. But now…probably wasn't the time to start something. He's tired…physically and probably emotionally. We both are. Starting something now…I don't know. As much as I want this to happen…the timing is just wrong.

"Tommy, I probably want this as much as you do but…"

"I know. It's not the right time." He said with a heavy sigh.

"It's true." I said, stepping closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same and lay my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek on top of my hair. We stood like that for I don't know how long before we both pulled back.

"Soon?" I asked and he nodded his agreement before leaning down and kissing me softly and pulled back.

I smiled at him and wished things weren't like they are right now. If his mom wasn't dying, if neither of us were an emotional wreck…it would work. We would work.

"Let's get some sleep." I suggested and he smiled at me.

"Sounds good." He said and I smirked. He rolled his eyes and walked over to the stairs. I smiled to myself and followed him up the stairs.

Tonight we slept in each others arms, dreaming of a time when we could be together.


	24. Chapter 22

**A/N: **I know, it's been…FOREVER, but I finally got over my writer's block and got this wrote. I actually wanted this to go in a different direction, but it wasn't working. I hope you all enjoy this. Thanks for staying with me; I'm hoping Chapter 23 won't take so long – I have it in my mind how it NEEDS to be. I hope this is up to par and I'm working on a Black Sunday update next. Stay tuned! Enjoy, and – as always – comments are appreciated.

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**Chapter 22  
Next Morning**

I groaned as I rolled over onto my side and blinked my eyes open. The sun was peaking through the blinds of the window across from me, casting a warm glow into the room. I uncurled my body and stretched beneath the covers and let out a content sigh. I did not want to get up. I was comfortable and warm, though alone, I could lay here for the rest of the day.

I reluctantly shoved the covers off and got up, wrapping my arms around myself as I stumbled towards the bathroom down the hall. The house had a slight chill and it made me want to crawl back in bed even more.

Once done in the bathroom, I walked down the stairs in search of Tommy, but my search came up empty. I sighed and wasn't surprised that he was already up and gone. I opened the cupboard and poured myself a bowl of cereal, ate it and went back up the stairs to take a nice, long, hot shower, and then I'd call Tommy and ream him out for leaving me here by myself.

I blew dried my blonde hair, tied it back into a messy pony tail and grabbed my cell. I held down the number 1 button for the speed dial and waited for it to ring. I held the phone on my shoulder as I pulled my thick socks on my feet. The phone went to voicemail and I left a quick message and snapped the phone shut.

Feeling annoyed with the brush off, I walked out of the room and heard a voice down the hall. I frowned, not remembering anyone else being here earlier and walked down the hall. The voices were coming from Serena's room and I froze when I heard what was being said.

"…she's in heaven now." Adele was saying. I felt my heart stop and my blood run cold.

"Grandmere's an angel now, right mommy?" Serena was asking and I felt tears sting my eyes. I didn't wait for Adele's answer and rushed back into Tommy's and mine room.

Oh. My. God. I couldn't help thinking. Tears stung my eyes as the words sank in. Celeste passed away. I sat down on the bed, not knowing what to do, to think, to say. I was shocked. I knew it was coming but…oh my god. I still couldn't believe that she was gone. I only knew her for the short time I'd been here and I felt devastated. I couldn't imagine how To…

Oh god. Tommy. I thought frantically, picking up my cell and repeating the steps earlier. Answer damn it, Answer! I mentally pleaded as the phone rang.

"Hey, it's me. I'm not available right now, leave a message." His recorded voice sounding bored. I waited impatiently for the beep.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry," I said, pausing. What was I going to say? I mean…my god, his mom just died! "I…just, call me, ok? I want to know that you're ok…well, not ok ok, but…arg, just call me, ok? I'm worried." I pleaded, sniffling as I hung up the phone.

Tears burned my eyes and I let them fall unchecked down my face. I sniffed and felt the burning itch to sing. To write, to do something. I found my guitar and played a slow melody, tears falling lightly down my face, my voice shaking slightly as I sang the lyrics I wrote earlier.

"The phone is off the hook

And Jamie's got a gun

Sherry's in the river

And the river's gonna run again,"

I needed an outlet for emotions. I needed to clear my mind and be strong for once.

"So you don't know where to go

You don't know where to hide"

Why didn't he answer when I called? Why won't he call me back?

"Holding all your tears

Keeping all your pain inside"

Keeping yourself guarded.

"With your back against the wall

Heart falling from your hands"

Hiding your pain from the world and from me.

"You throw it in the river

The river's gonna hide it again."

I strummed more, letting myself get lost in the song, the lyrics. Let myself get caught up in emotion and pain.

"But you are not alone"

Because you have me. You have your family, and friends.

"When you're not safe at home"

"And you're running back running back

When you're on track"

Always running. When things get bad, you run.

"Looking for a home

Or A house to call your own"

Somewhere you can be safe. Somewhere you can hide from your pain.

"You need a phone,  
you feel all alone,"

Confused and rejected.

"Don't know where to start  
while you're falling part,"

Like nothing else matters or can matter anymore.

"And you need someone to hold  
your hands and cope,"

Though you don't admit it…

"You feel a little older,  
you need a shoulder, oh I know."

…probably not even to yourself. But I know. I know you.

"But you're not alone..."

I felt my throat constrict and I strummed my guitar a few chords, trying to overcome my emotions. I closed my eyes and felt my tears fall faster down my face. Tommy, you're not alone.

"What they will believe,"

and if you wanna change,

how's it meant to be,

Even if they think you're stone"

Because you're not. You're human like the rest of us. Breakable and broken.

"Oh, you wanna live a life,"

A life that hasn't worked out.

"You need to break away."

To run, to flee, to be out on your own without needing anyone.

"Counting on your hands,  
the days you have left to pay."

To be free of commitment.

"But you are not alone

When you're not safe at home"

The reason you always run. The reasons you can not stay. The thought that kills you and haunts your every action. The loner no longer alone.

"And you're running back running back

When you're on track

Looking for a home

Or A house to call your own"

A fortress of solitude. A place you can hide and lick your wounds without facing the world.

"You need a phone,  
You feel all alone"

A feeling you're suddenly not use to.

"Don't know where to start  
while you're falling part."

Don't know how to be comforted.

"And you need someone to hold  
your hands and cope.

You feel a little older,  
you need a shoulder, oh I know."

A friend to cry to. A friend to pour out your long since hidden emotions. A confident and a rock to anchor you with.

"But you're not alone..."

I held out the last note and stopped playing. I let the guitar drop onto the bed beside me and I flung myself down on the bed, face down in the pillow, and sobbed.


	25. Chapter 23

**A/N: **I know it bothered a few of you about Jude not searching for Tommy more, but I think this chapter will explain a bit more why she didn't run after him. Basically, Jude understands that Tommy needs his space. She's worried about him, hence why she's calling him, but she knows he needs his own time. That make any sense what so ever? I hope that cleared stuff up. Anyway, I've been writing like a FIEND to this chapter. I have to warn, the rating will be going up for the next chapter. For a section of it, anyway. I haven't decided how I want to designate quiet yet, but…well, I don't want to be responsible for the corruption of youth. :D I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll get the next one ready for uploading soon! Just need the perfect chapter ending. Later!

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**Chapter 23  
****Later That Day**

The morning went by and then the afternoon and I still hadn't heard from Tommy. I tried his cell several times to no success. I was frustrated at the blow off and, at the same time, understood his need to be alone. But I was worried about him. I was worried he was going to do something stupid and I would lose him.

I picked up the phone and dialed a number I found in the phonebook. I waited impatiently for the person to pick up. On the fourth ring, I got an answer.

"Hello?"

"Kelly?" I asked carefully, hoping this was the same man I had lunch with the other day.

"Yes…may I ask whose calling?"

"This is Jude, Jude Harrison…"

"OH! Jude!" He said excitedly and I sighed in relief. "How are you girl?"

"I'm…good."

"That doesn't sound too promising." I smiled sadly at the tone he used.

"I'm worried about Tommy…it's why I'm calling." I said and I could feel Kelly's demeanor change over the phone.

"What'd the bloody arse do now?" I laughed at the British slang and told Kelly about Celeste.

"Oh…"

"Yeah. I was just wondering…have you seen or heard from Tom? I called his cell, but he's not answering."

"No Honey, I haven't seen him since lunch the other day." Kelly told me and I felt my heart sink. "Let me make some calls, visit a few old haunts, and I'll give you a call back, kay?"

"Thanks Kelly."

"It's no problem Jude. I'm worried too." Kelly told me and hung up the phone. I sighed as I hung up my cell and I tried Tommy's phone again, only for it to go straight to voice mail.

I sighed in frustration and shoved the phone back in my pocket. _Where are you Tommy?_ I wondered as I tried to pass some time by watching the TV, but nothing could take my mind off of Tommy.

"Jude?" I turned around and saw Adele standing in the doorway.

"Hey," I greeted. Adele walked into the room and sat down next to me.

The older woman and I had talked about Celeste's passing earlier today. She began having complications around 4:00 am. After that began, the nurses and doctors were in and out of the room regularly. Adele said she thought about calling Tommy so many times, but she wanted him to get some sleep as well. So, she waited. Around 5:15 am, Celeste went into cardiac arrest. She was shoved from the room and she jumped on her cell and called Tommy. He didn't answer, obviously and she kept trying to get through, not wanting to call the house and wake up Serena, which apparently, she ended up doing.

When she was on the phone with Tommy, the doctor came out to her. She hung up with him and listened to the doctor. He told Adele that they did everything they could, but Celeste was just too weak. They couldn't save her.

"Any luck getting a hold of my brother?" She asked me and I shook my head.

"No, he's not answering his cell." Adele nodded.

"Give him time." She told me and I sighed.

"I know I shouldn't be mad or hurt by the brushoff, but I just want to know that he's ok."

"I understand." Adele told me, placing a hand on my knee.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," Adele said with a sigh.

"Are you ok?" I asked her and she sighed again.

"I like to think that Mom's in a better place. That her pain and suffering is over and she can be with Dad again, where she was happy." She said with a small smile. I nodded in understanding. "But at the same time…"

"Yeah. It's got to be hard." Adele shrugged. "Can I…can I ask you a question?" I asked her and Adele looked questioningly at me. "About Serena?"

"If you want." Adele stated and it was my turn to sigh.

"I've been wondering…for awhile…where's her father?"

"Serena is better off without him." Adele told me, a bit harshly.

"I didn't mean to pry, I was just…"

"I know, but…I don't like to talk about him." Adele said and I felt awkward for bringing up something painful for her. Adele sighed and stood up.

"Adele, I'm"

"It's fine." She said curtly, cutting me off. "I'm going to make dinner…seeing as my brothers are missing, am I to count you in as well?"

"Yeah, want help?" I asked and she shook her head and began walking from the room. Wait…"Wait, Adele…Chris is missing too?"

"I haven't seen either of them since this morning." She said looking hurt and left the room.

I couldn't help but frown at the news. Both Tommy and Chris had run off? Where were they? I wondered.

I looked at my cell once more and sighed. I picked it up and hit the redial. Voice mail, again. I left a hundredth message, not bothering to hope for a call back and hung up, setting my cell next to me.


	26. Chapter 24

**A/N and CONTENT WARNING: **OK, this chapter has been upped in rating. The rest of the fic is going to get slightly darker from this point on. I have to warn, It's now M for a portion of this chapter. I'll make the section bold so if younger readers are reading, they can skip…though I'm sure they won't because…well, I didn't, but I want to give you the option in case you want to save your innocence for another few years. This is graphic. I'm warning you. I'm glad you guys are enjoying and I hope you guys enjoy this.

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**Chapter 24**

I helped Adele clean up dinner and still had not heard from Tommy. Or Kelly, for that matter. I was anxious. I was worried. I wanted to go out and look for him, but I had no idea where to start. I didn't know Montana and I knew if I got lost, I'd be screwed.

The evening was uneventful – my cell phone did not ring. It did nothing except indicate my battery was low from the hundreds of calls I left on Tom's voice mail. I had it plugged in next to me as I lounged on the couch. I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep. My brain was working at 500 times its usual speed and all I wanted was to hear his voice telling me that he was ok. It doesn't seem like that's too much to ask for.

I turned my attention to the television and found myself drifting off. I fought to stay awake, wanting to be alert for a call or when that door opened. But my eyes didn't cooperate, and moments later, I was dreaming that none of this happened and Tommy had made it to the dinner and we ate dinner and proclaimed our love for each other. That he told me my age didn't matter and nothing else mattered but us. That everything was perfect.

"Jude?" I heard a voice say and I felt a hand on my arm. I groaned and swatted it away, feeling annoyed by the intrusion on my private moment.

"Jude." The voice said more forcibly and my dream world faded before my eyes. I bolted awake, eyes blinking my confusion away. I was in a dark room with no light but the tv. My heart pounded a mile a minute and I looked around frantically to see what was the cause of my abrupt wake up.

"Jude," A soft voice said and I turned to see Tommy standing next to me, his eyes soft and I could see the concerned look on his face from the light glow cast by the tv.

"Oh my god," I said in relief, throwing myself into his arms. He gave a small "oof" and I felt him teeter off balance for a moment before he corrected himself. "I was so worried." I said, pulling him tightly to me and burying my face in his chest. He's really here. I thought to myself in relief.

"I didn't know you were worried." He said honestly and I pulled back looking at him like he was a crazy person.

"Of course I was worried! I left a million messages and"

"Phone was dead." He said, looking apologetically into my eyes. "I'm sorry I worried you," He said honestly, hand rubbing up and down my arms. I took a moment to take this all in. He was ok. He was here.

"Where the hell were you!" I yelled, smacking him hard on the chest.

"Jude, I"

"I had no idea where you were! You could have been…been, dead in a ditch and I wouldn't have known!" I yelled, jabbing a finger at him. I was pissed. I was relieved. I was beyond happy he was ok, but damn it! He could have at least left a note!

"Jude, I'm"

"Your sorry?" I said sarcastically, letting out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, like that makes it better." I said, feeling like I was going to cry. What the hell was wrong with me? His mom just died and I'm acting like a victim? I know logically, it doesn't make sense, but I was hurt. He left me. He didn't have the decency to tell me he was ok. I thought we were better than that. That I was worth more to him than that.

"Jude, I didn't mean to hurt you." He said, his voice soft. He took a tentative step closer and lay a hand on my arm, softly, gently, like he was afraid I was going to lash out again. "I just…I had to think? Ya know?" He said, sounding genuinely apologetic. I sighed slightly and felt my anger fall away. Maybe it was because he apologized. Maybe it was the way he said it. Maybe it was his hand on me. I don't know. But I felt calm.

I looked up into his eyes and saw the look of pain in them. I wanted nothing more than to take his pain away. To make him happy. But I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say and I sure as hell didn't want to mess this up. Whatever it was this is.

**I felt his soft lips on mine, a sweetly innocent kiss. I responded and wrapped my arms around him. My legs went weak and I knew if his arms weren't around me, I would have melted into the carpet. My head was cleared of all thoughts and emotions. My body tingled where our bodies touched. My heart beat fast and was overwhelmed with emotion. I never felt as alive as I did right at this moment. **

**I could have stayed like that forever. I could have lived the rest of my life in this one moment and die happy. I felt my lungs beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen, but I wasn't ready to pull away. He deepened the kiss and I let out an involuntary moan. My hands roamed across his back, feeling the way he was built through the sweater he wore. His arm wrapped around my waste and pulled me closer and, simultaneously, ran his hot tongue across my lips, asking for entrance. I parted my lips and felt his tongue enter my mouth. I moaned as his tongue ran across mine. **

**My lungs were on fire from oxygen deprivation, but I couldn't pull away. He was a drug and I was an addict. I couldn't get enough of him. He withdrew his tongue and pulled back from me a moment. I took the chance to draw in a panted breath. His eyes were dark with desire and my body shook with need. I was left breathless as his eyes drank me in before he kissed me quickly and kissed his way from my mouth and down the nape of my neck. **

**I shivered from both the hot breathe that tickled my neck and from the pleasure provided by the simple actions. I felt his teeth nibble on the skin that connected the neck and the shoulder and I gasped from the pain and pleasure it caused me. He continued to suck, nibble, and lick the area as my body turned into a puddle. **

**I felt his hand slip under my shirt and I tensed slightly as his hand roamed over my abdomen. He stopped his ministrations on my neck, enticing a moan from me. He looked into my eyes and kissed me softly. I responded to the kiss and when he pulled back, his eyes asked me a private question. Asking if it was ok to continue. I bit my lip, feeling a bit uncertain. As much as I wanted him, I was still a virgin and I was nervous. I looked back into his eyes and all I saw was love coming from the blue orbs. I nodded and he kissed me gently and eased the shirt up, exposing my stomach to the cool air of the house. **

"**Let's move this upstairs," He said, his voice deep and husky, as he picked me up. I let out a surprised shriek and grabbed onto his shoulders to make me feel more secure. He chuckled at me and made his way up the stairs. **

"**I can walk…" I said but he kissed me before I could get the words out and I found that I didn't care anymore.**

**We made it to our room and he set me down, his hands working his way under my shirt, his hands brushing across my skin as he lifted the fabric over my head. Once my shirt was discarded, his followed. I couldn't help but stare at his chest. He smirked at me and kissed my cheek. **

"**Like what you see?" He asked, pulling me closer to him, our flesh touching and making me loose any ability to form a thought – let alone words. I nodded stupidly as he smiled and kissed me deeply. He pulled back before I could respond and left me feeling a bit disappointed. His hands ran up and down my back and I closed my eyes, trying hard not to moan at the ministrations. He leaned down and breathed into my ear "me too" and I shivered in response. **

**He pulled me closer and kissed me deeply. I responded instantly and he eased us back onto the bed. I tangled my fingers into his silky hair and pulled his mouth closer to mine. My hands disentangled themselves from his soft locks and roamed across his back and chest, feeling his muscles shiver under my soft touch. He kissed down my throat and continued to my chest. I felt myself grow nervous once again. His soft lips kissed the top of my breast and I gasped at the feeling. His hands roamed down my body and into my pants, his fingers massaging my center through my silk panties. I gasped in shock and my body jerked involuntarily. His other hand put pressure on my hips to keep them still as he continued to drive me crazy. His lips teased by breasts through my bra and I felt a desire stronger than I ever felt for him. **

"**Wait…" I gasped out, my voice weak from the overwhelming pleasure. He didn't hear me and continued his slow torture of my body. "T-tommy," I managed to sputter out. **

**He slid his hand out of my pants and kissed the skin above my breast. **

"**Don't call me that," He whispered, his breath hot against my body. I froze. Oh. My. God. I wasn't conscious about what Chris was doing to me. I was shocked and I felt sick. I wanted to throw up and I wanted to scream and cry. Oh. My. God. I was…I squirmed under Chris, trying to get him to stop whatever it was he was doing to me, but it didn't phase him. **

I heard a loud squeak and Chris froze. I looked past him and gaped at who I saw standing in the doorway.

"Don't let me interrupt." Tommy muttered as he spun around and stalked down the hall.

"I won't." I heard Chris mutter and I shoved him off of me. I scrambled off the bed and ran out of the room. My only thoughts were of Tommy and what had just transpired.

I ran like my life depended on it and I heard the front door close. I skidded across the hardwood floor and ran outside. The cool air instantly hit me, but I didn't care. I didn't care I was barefoot and there was over an inch of snow on the phone. I didn't care that I was only in my bra and jeans. I didn't care that I was crying.

"Tommy!" I yelled, just behind him. He didn't answer me, but he stopped walking. "Tommy, I"

"I don't want to hear it Jude." He snapped at me, and I stopped at the harshness in his voice. A soft sob escaped my throat and he turned around. His eyes hard and angry, but softened when he looked at me. "Jude, go back inside." He told me and I shook my head no. I was shaking I was so cold and my arms were wrapped tightly across my stomach, but I refused to go back inside.

"I didn't…Tommy, I didn't know!" I sobbed out, feeling like the scum of the earth. I felt dirty. I felt used. I felt like I was going to be sick and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around the real Tommy and feel safe again.

"Jude…" He said, his voice softening. I was full out crying and I was freezing. "Go back inside." I shook my head no again. I was afraid. I didn't want to go back inside and face Chris. I didn't want to be in the same house as him. I didn't want to be on the same planet as him. "Jude, you're going to get sick."

"I…I can't." I managed to squeak out and I looked down away from Tommy's eyes. I think it dawned on him and I heard him sigh. I shivered and let out a noise that was between a cough and a sob. I felt something warm go over my shoulders and I looked up at him, tears running down my face. I realized that he was wrapping his coat around me and I pulled my hands through the sleeves and zipped it close, still shivering.

"T-thanks." I managed to stutter out. Tommy sighed and walked towards his truck and I followed, my feet now frozen and numb against the cold. I climbed in after him and shut the door. He stuck his key in the ignition and turned over the engine and turned up the heat. He glanced over at me and pulled out of the driveway.

I pulled my legs up on the seat and curled my feet underneath me, trying to warm them up. We drove in an uncomfortable silence until Tommy abruptly pulled into a parking lot and put the car in park.

"Fuck!" He yelled, slamming his fists into the steering wheel. I jumped as the horn sounded and sniffed to keep my nose from running. He looked over at me and I couldn't meet his eyes. I looked away from him and down at the floor. I felt ashamed. I felt sick. I couldn't imagine how he felt. Tears stung my eyes again and fell down my face.

"I know," He started to say, his voice devoid of emotion. I couldn't force myself to look at him. "I know that I shouldn't be mad at you." He continued, taking a deep breathe. "I know he took advantage of you." He paused, I could hear him clenching his jaw. "It's not like he hasn't done it before." I looked over at him and I could see the anger and betrayal in his eyes. "And yet, I can't get the image out of my head. I can't stop feeling disappointed that you didn't know he wasn't me." He finished, looking into my eyes and I could see the pain I caused him there.

"I…I didn't figure it out." I said, tears falling down my face. "Until it was too late." I finished, tears falling freely down my face. I winced as a bit of feeling returned in my feet and I looked down at them. They were extremely pale and I reached down to rub some more feeling back in them and gasped at how cold they were. I whimpered as I wiggled my left foot, pain exploding through me.

Tommy looked over at me questioningly and I couldn't tell him that my feet were frozen to the point of pain. I looked away from his gaze and closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing normal through the pain I was feeling.

"Jesus, Jude." Tommy said, obviously noticing my feet. I heard him unsnap his seatbelt and I felt his warm hands on my ice cold feet. I cried out in pain as he started to rub some feeling back into my left foot. "Sorry." He said, not sounding apologetic and rubbed harder. I couldn't suppress a whimper and he continued his torturous ministration. After a few moments, he turned his hands onto my other foot and repeated the process.

"What the hell were you thinking Jude?" He asked me as he massaged my foot.

"I wasn't." I said through a wince. He looked up at me and smiled slightly. I felt some relief and within moments, me feet were feeling relatively warm. "Where were you?" I asked him and he sighed.

"I just drove." He said, his voice devoid of emotion.

"I'm so sorry Tommy." I said, reaching over and laying a hand on his arm.

"Me too." He said, looking into my eyes for the first time this evening. I looked away from his gaze, unable to look into his eyes. I felt like I was going to be sick. I closed my eyes and curled me knees into my chest and rested my forehead against my knees and taking some deep breathes. "You ok?" Tommy asked me, sounding concerned. I nodded slightly but stopped as it made the nauseous feeling worst.

"Jude-" Tommy started but I could feel my stomach rebelling. I unsnapped the seat belt, opened the door and slid out of the truck. My legs were weak and I ended up on my hands and knees just as my stomach contents began to be expelled from me. I didn't hear him get out of the truck, but I felt his hands gather my hair and hold it back as my stomach rebelled against me.

Once my stomach was empty, I spat the rest of the bile out and sat back against Tommy's chest, feeling too weak to keep myself upright. His hands circled around me and held me to him, his hands stroking my hair and soothing me.

"You done?" He asked me gently and I nodded against him. I heard him sigh and the next thing I knew, I was up in his arms.

I could feel my body shaking from exhaustion and Tommy settled me into the seat. I leaned back and closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from shaking. I heard his door open and close and then nothing.

"I'm sorry." I managed to say, feeling like crap.

"It's not your fault." He said with a sigh. I opened my eyes and looked over at him. He looked concernedly at me and put the truck in gear. I raised an eyebrow in questioning. "I have to get you back and warmed up." He told me as he pulled back on the road.

"That's not why I got sick." I told him, closing my eyes again. He didn't comment, but I think he already knew that.

We drove back to the farmhouse in silence. I tried to let myself drift off to sleep, but every time my mind wandered, I could feel Chris's hands on me and his mouth and it made me want to throw up again.

The truck came to a stop and Tommy killed the ignition. I opened my eyes and looked over at him and saw a thoughtful look in his eyes.

"What?" I asked and he shook his head as if not wanting to ask me the question. "Tommy, just…" I said trailing off. I wasn't sure where I was going with it but he seemed to catch on.

"Did Chris take advantage of you?" He blurted out and my eyes widened as I looked into his. I could see the seriousness in his eyes and I honestly didn't have an answer for him. Technically, I was a willing participate. But at the same time…I thought I was giving myself to someone else.

"I guess…it depends how you look at it."

"Answer the question." Tommy said, sounding tired.

"In a way, yes, he did." I told him truthfully. "I thought he was you. If I would have known sooner, I never would have…" I trailed off, not able to finish the sentence. _Almost had sex with your brother_. That thought killed me. It made me sick. It made me feel dirty and disgusting. My god, what did I do?

I saw Tommy nod in understanding. He sighed as he got out of the truck and came around to my side. I had the door open, but before I could slide myself to the ground, Tommy had me in his arms and shouldered the door close.

"I can"

"Just don't." He snapped and I let him carry me in the house. I lay my head on his shoulder and I felt my eyes grow heavy. "Jude?"

"Hmmm?" I managed to say, keeping my eyes closed and letting my mind begin to shut down.

"Want anything?" He asked me and I shook my head.

"Sleep." I managed to croak out and I felt his chuckle more than heard it. I felt him shift me in his arms slightly and I was out cold before anything else could be said or done.


	27. Chapter 25

**A/N: **Wow, you guys never cease to amaze me! I think last chapter got the most reviews of any of my fics, so I want to thank you. As a bonus, I decided to give you a long chapter for your reward. Originally, I had this as two separate chapters, but you guys rock and I combined them together to make it one long chapter. :D So pat yourselves on the back and sit back and enjoy this nine page update (at least, according to my word doc).

Please note, The beginning of this chapter (in italics) contains graphic content. Please be advised as you read. Thank You and Enjoy the chapter!

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**Chapter 25**

"_No," I said as the last of my clothes were pulled from my body. His mouth covered mine and I struggled beneath his weight, our naked bodies rubbing together in a way that was anything but sensual...to me anyway. His hands grabbed my wrists and pushed them down into the mattress. And his mouth attached itself to my left breast. I tried to pull away, but my effort was in vain. Chris wouldn't let me get away from him and I didn't want him anywhere near me. He lifted his head and moved up my body, his warm breath coming out in fast puffs from the extra excursions. _

"_Shhh," He whispered in my hear, his tongue flicking out and licking the cartilage _

"_Stop," I said, not recognizing the sound coming from my own mouth. I sounded pathetic, weak, and scared. I sounded nothing like the confident teenager I usually was. The thought made me feel sick. It made me disgusted with myself. _

_Chris did not respond to me…verbally. His message was made clear though as his hips moved forward and I felt his hard length shoved inside me. I couldn't suppress the whimper of pain that escaped my lips at the rough and unwanted entry. _

"_Jude?" I heard a muffled voice say. I squeezed my eyes closed and felt tears sting my eyes as I tried to ignore the thing inside of me. _

"_Jude," I heard the voice say, a bit more forcibly. _

"_No," I responded, my voice breaking with emotion. _

"_Jude, wake up," I heard the voice say again and I screamed._

My eyes seemed to open on their own and I was abruptly sitting up in the bed. I was panting for breath and I looked around the room, my eyes landing on a pair of blue eyes and I struggled to back away, my body twisted in sheets and blankets. I hit my back against the headboard, but I didn't feel the pain.

"No, get away from me!" I yelled, closing my eyes tightly and using my hands to protect myself.

"Sh, Jude," I heard his concerned voice say and I shook my head, not letting myself be fooled by false concern. "It's ok, it was just a dream." I heard him say, but it wasn't a dream. Not really.

I felt his hand on mine and I slapped it away. He withdrew his hand and I heard him sigh a bit.

"Jude, open your eyes. It's me, Girl." He said soothingly and I cracked an eye open and studied the face before me, my vision blurry from tears.

"T-tommy?"

Tommy nodded, his hand reaching over to caress my cheek and I closed my eyes in relief. I felt my muscles relax and I flung myself into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder.

"Ssshhhh," I heard Tommy whisper as his hands stroked my hair, trying to calm me down. I tightened my grip around him and pulled him closer to me, feeling safe in his arms.

I felt his lips touch the top of my head and I felt oddly calmer by the small gesture. I loosed my grip and pulled back, looking into Tom's sad blue eyes.

"You ok?" He asked me, reaching up and whipping away stray tears from my cheeks. No, I wasn't ok. But I couldn't vocalize it. He seemed to get the message though because his eyes softened considerably and he kissed my lightly on the cheek.

"Tommy, I'm sorry." I said, feeling ashamed of myself.

"Jude, you don't-"

"I should have known the difference." I finished and he sighed, looking like he did not want to have this conversation it was happening anyway.

"It's not your fault." He said softly, and I wasn't sure if he was trying to remind himself or convince me of the fact.

I sniffed slightly and Tommy gave me a concerned look. I didn't know if I felt sick from the dream or if I was getting sick. But I felt weak, tired, and not at all like myself.

"Jude?"

"Hm?"

"Are you…ok?" He asked me, looking concerned.

"I…I don't know." I said and he placed a hand on my forehead a moment. I sighed at the touch and he pulled it away quicker than I would have liked and I fought to keep my disappointment from registering on my features.

"It doesn't seem like you have a fever." He said, frowning and not sounding at all convinced.

"I'm all sniffly from crying." I assured him, sniffling again and he smiled slightly at me. At least, I hope that's all it is.

"I was waking you up to let you know Adele started making breakfast and you were my excuse to escape helping." He told me and I laughed slightly, imagining Tommy coming up with an excuse to get out of helping in the kitchen, which didn't surprise me. Though he was an excellent cook, Tommy hated making meals.

I looked away from Tommy a moment, a thought coming across my mind with a stab of fear. How was I going to face Chris? How was I going to handle it? I felt sick at the thought and I groaned as I buried my head in my hands. I felt Tommy's hand on my shoulder but it did nothing to comfort the thoughts running through my head.

We sat together in silence for a long moment. Me trying to calm myself down over the thought of seeing Chris at some point throughout the day, and Tommy…doing whatever it was that Tommy does inside his head. I took a couple of deep breathes and looked back up.

"Feel better?"

"No." I said honestly and Tommy just gave me a half smile and patted my shoulder before getting up off the bed. I watched him get up with a skeptical look. "I thought you were trying to get out of making breakfast?"

"I am, but I'm also sure you want to…" He trailed off as if deciding what he wanted to say was better off not being said and I frowned when I realized where he was going with his train of thought.

"Don't think I look good enough Quincy?" I asked, and he looked slightly panicked.

"NO! It's just…"

"Just…?"

Tommy glared at me and sighed. "No matter what I say, it's going to put me in the dog house, so let's pretend I didn't say anything." He stated, before retreating and leaving me to glare at his back.

I sighed and pulled back the covers and got up from the bed. I was wearing an oversized sweatshirt that I knew I didn't pull on the night before and the same jeans I had been wearing last night. How considerate. I thought to myself as I walked into the bathroom with a change of clothes and locked the door behind me. I flicked on the light and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and wondered why it didn't break.

My hair was going in every direction humanly possible…hell, I think some angles WEREN'T possible. I had medium-dark circles under my eyes, my complexion was too pale, my eyes were red and puffy, and over all, I looked like shit. No wonder Tommy almost made a comment.

I sighed and pulled back the shower curtain and ran the water a moment to get hot. I pulled off my clothes and tossed them on the floor and tested the water before I hit the spray and stepped in, closing the curtain behind me.

I closed my eyes and stepped under the spray, letting the hot water relax my muscles. I sighed in contentment and let the hot water work it's magic on my body.

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I planned it out so perfectly that I even amazed myself. By the time I woke up Jude, made a hasty retreat and 'got stopped by Serena', Adele was too far into the cooking process to need help. Darn. What a shame.

I did get 'suckered' into making the coffee, but that didn't bother me, just measure out some grounds and click a button. Nothing too complicated, the machine does all the labor. It was odd being home and seeing Adele in the kitchen. Mere never let any of us cook, though she had each of us play the role of assistant, as children though, Chris and I often got more than our fair share of kitchen duty. I frowned at the thought of my brother.

I had managed to forget about last night for a total amount of 10 minutes this morning, and I'd been up for about four hours already. The odds were not looking good that I was going to forget pretty easily.

"Tom!" I heard Adele yell and I looked over at her, not realizing she had been talking to me. Her hands were on her hips, a look of pure annoyance on her features. "Were you even listening to me?" I sighed. I had learned from over the years that it's better to NOT even try and fool Adele.

"No." She glared at me and pivoted around and went back to doing…whatever it was she was doing at the stove. "Adele,"

"It wouldn't kill you to remember that you're not the only one who lost someone yesterday." She said, her voice sounding oddly un-Adele-like. I think I can count the number of times I've seen her cry on one finger. OK, maybe 2 or 3, but that estimate might be a bit generous. Her statement floored me though. Of course I know that we all…lost someone. But she wasn't the one who walked in on her brother doing her…ok, that probably wouldn't happen because that would have to make Adele a lesbian or Chris or I gay, which I don't think either of those would end up happening in reality. I sighed and didn't dignify her statement with a response. It was better that way anyway. I really did _not_ want to talk about last night. I wanted to forget it ever happened, but small favors were never granted to me. I couldn't forget. I constantly had the image of Jude almost half naked being pleasured by my brother in ways I've wanted to pleasure her for over a year.

"Where the hell where you yesterday?!" She demanded, turning around again, her eyes challenging me to ignore the question and I snapped myself out of my thoughts again. I looked into her hard brown eyes and I knew I owed her an explanation.

"I had to think." I told her honestly.

"You aren't answering the question." She said, sounding more than a bit annoyed.

"I don't know Adele!" I told her honestly. I didn't have a clue as to where I ended up. "I got in the car, I drove. I wound up in a bar in god knows where and had a couple drinks and drove some more." I said more forcibly than I meant to.

"And you didn't stop to think about-"

"I couldn't stay _here_."

"You think it was easy for me?!" Adele demanded, tears stinging her eyes. Uh-ho. I didn't respond and I saw the tears beginning to fall from her eyes. I got up from my seat and hugged my older sister. She hugged me back and cried softly into my shoulder.

It wasn't long before Adele pulled back, she looked into my eyes and gave me a silent thank you before She turned around and went back to busying herself with breakfast, almost like nothing had happened. I sighed and realized it was a trait all of us had learned from our father. I suddenly understood how the people closest to me felt and I made a mental note to try harder to be more open to Jude.

"I'm sorry, Adele." And I was. I was sorry for making my sister and my…Jude worry about me all day.

Before she answered, I heard footsteps coming towards us and I turned my head to see Chris walking into the room. He smiled smugly at me and I couldn't hold back the glare. He smirked in response but said nothing.

I felt my jaw clench and my hands tightened into fists. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and I muttered an "excuse me" to Adele and left the room before I hit my twin and gave him something to remember as well.

As luck, or fate, would have it, I couldn't get away that easily. No sooner than I made it to the hall, I was stopped by a morning greeting.

"Morning, Tom." Chris said to me cheerfully and I stopped walking. I took a moment to take a couple deep breathes and force a smile before turning around to face my brother. I can handle reporters. I can handle Darius Mills. I can handle screaming fan girls and their pissed off boyfriends. What I can't handle this morning? My Brother.

"Morning." I said, definitely not as cheerfully as Chris managed to pull off, but of course he had something to be smug about and I wanted nothing more than to beat that smirk off his face.

"Someone's cranky this morning." Chris said, lightly and I felt my jaw clench tighter – almost to the point of pain. OK, someone is going to get his ass beat if this keeps up.

"Don't know what you're talking about." I said tightly and Chris tisked at me as he stepped closer. I continued to glare at him but he was unfazed by it.

"So, how was _your_ night?" He asked me and I said nothing. Dude, he was really trying my patience. Chris smirked and stepped closer. I wasn't going to hit him. I wasn't going to play into his sick game. I wasn't going to let him think I was fazed by him taking advantage of my almost kind of girlfriend. Nope, didn't bother me. Not at all. Right, just keep telling yourself that, I told myself.

"Cuz, my night was pretty good." Chris continued to say, smirking at me. Doesn't bother me. Keep breathing. I'm not at all affected. I don't want to punch his face in. I don't want the satisfaction of seeing him groaning on the floor. Nope, not at all. Then why are my fists clenched and I'm shaking trying to keep myself in check? Oh. Right. Because, I do care.

"Face it Bro," Chris taunted, his voice eerily calm. "You're just jealous that I got her first." Oh that's it.

Before I had a logical thought of it, my fist connected with my brother's nose. And before I could process that, the other connected with his solar plexus. I backed away from him and turned around to leave it at that, but he had to open his mouth again.

"It's ok Bro, between us, she's not that good anyway." I froze in my tracks. Just let it go Tom. Just let it go. I told myself. Unfortunately, I can't listen to that inner voice. Unfortunately, that inner voice was never loud enough to keep me out of a fight. And it sure wasn't loud enough today. I was pissed. I was beyond pissed. I was betrayed by my twin, a bond stronger than normal siblings. A bond that no one seemed to understand except other twins or multiple-birthed children. I was upset over mom and damn it, I wanted revenge for Jude and, damn it, I wanted to punch his face in.

I turned around and faced my brother. Chris's eyes turned uncertain and he knew he hit the right…or maybe wrong…button. His eyes gave a slight fear and I smirked at the gesture. Good, someone remembers a bit of history. I wasn't kicked out of school for fighting for no reason. I let Chris squirm under my gaze a moment before I lunged and made my move.

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I finished getting dressed and stepped out of the bathroom. I tossed my dirty clothes with the rest of my soiled clothes and went downstairs in search of Tommy and Adele. I hit the landing and heard voices coming from down the hall. I frowned and followed it, thinking I'd find Tommy and Adele.

I froze when I heard Chris talking. "It's ok Bro, between us, she's not that good anyway." I felt sick. I felt violated, upset, and…emotions I didn't know how to describe. Part of me was angry. The other part…I just wanted to go and crawl in a hole and die. I was frozen in place. I just, I couldn't process it.

_She's not that good anyway._ The thought rang in my head and made me feel stupid. It made me feel cheap and used. I felt naïve and dirty. I felt tears sting my eyes and I shook my head to clear it.

"He's just trying to make…" I began to mutter to myself and I stopped. Oh. My. God. _Bro_. Tommy.

I heard something break and I jumped away from my spot against the wall and rounded the corner and froze.

Tommy and Chris were full out fighting and I wasn't completely sure which one was which. I found myself morbidly fascinated as I watched fists fly faster than I could keep track. I shook my head and forced myself to think. I couldn't let them kill each other.

"Guys! Stop!" I yelled, hoping I wouldn't have to get closer. As much as I wanted to break them apart, I didn't have the body strength to withstand a blow from either of them. The men didn't hear me, or they chose to ignore me, whatever the case, they kept fighting. "GUYS!" I yelled but they kept going at it.

Adele appeared at the other end of the hall and she watched as well for a moment before walking away, seemingly exasperated. I sighed and stepped closer to the pair, being careful to try and keep myself away from any attack.

"HEY!" I yelled, closer to them, but it wasn't any use. I sighed and worked up a nerve to move closer, but I was shoved backwards suddenly and landed on my side on the hardwood floor with a loud thud. That got their attention.

Pain shot up my arm and side. I found myself unable to breathe a moment and I gasped, trying to take in a breath and give my body its much needed oxygen.

"Jude?" I heard them say and I winced as started to get up, but I fell on my back left arm. Pain shot through me at the small action and it hurt to move it, and as I put my weight on it to get up, the pain was too much to bear and caused me to cry out.

"Jude!" I heard Adele say and she rushed over to me and helped me sit up. I could feel hot tears sting my eyes and I glanced over at Tommy and Chris to see them both looking at me, and I noted at Chris seemed to have faired worse than Tommy had in the fight. Adele took my wrist and I whimpered as she touched it.

"It looks like it's probably broken." Adele said, glaring at her brothers and getting back up a minute. "I'm going to get you some ice so it doesn't swell." She looked over at Tommy and Chris and glared her disgusted look. "You two can handle yourselves." She said before walking off and leaving me and the twins alone. Great.

"Jude, I'm"

"It's fine." I said, trying to ignore the shooting pain in my wrist and looked down at the floor. I started to get up, but my legs were weak and I started to fall down again when one of the two caught me before I fell back on my ass.

"I'm fine!" I snapped, pushing away and feeling my legs wobble unsteadily, but I was determined to make it to the couch on my own.

"Jude, let me help you," Tommy said, his voice soft and concerned.

"I don't need help." I insisted, as I nearly lost my balance, but I managed to stay up. My wrist throbbed, my side ached, and my head was now pounding. I was feeling really hot and I think the room might have started spinning. I closed my eyes a moment to try to get things to go back to normal again and I felt my legs give out. I could feel myself falling to the floor and I was caught again before I could land ass first on the floor.

"Come on Jude" I heard Tommy say and felt him adjust his grip as he help me over to the couch. I sat down on it and leaned back as Adele returned to the room. She sat down next to me and picked up my wrist. I hissed in pain and she set an icepack on it. I felt a delicate hand on my forehead and then it was gone.

"She's burning up." She said. My head was foggy and it throbbed. It felt like it weighed a ton and my body felt like led. My wrist still throbbed and now it was cold. I was hot. I could feel my pulse in my head and I heard myself coughing suddenly.

I could hear voices talking, but it was all indistinct and I couldn't make it out. I felt my stomach churn and I opened my eyes only to be blinded by light and the world spinning around me.

"Jude?"

"I think…" I heard myself say, but before I could get the rest of it out, I found myself dry heaving.

"We've got to get her to the hospital." I felt a strong hand rubbing my back soothingly as I dry heaved. My head hurt. It pounded and ached and I was left feeling weak after I was done. I felt an arm around me and then my cheek was against a warm shoulder. I tried to move away, I didn't want to be warm. I was already hot. But I couldn't move away. It hurt to move. It hurt to think. My head, my wrist, my stomach…

I felt myself being picked up and I heard someone say "It's ok Jude, we're going to get you to the doctor."

I closed my eyes and gave into darkness, letting it take away my pain.


	28. Chapter 26

**A/N: **Erm, yeah, it's a short chapter. I know you're expecting something…more, but the last few have been relatively long right? ducks as objects are thrown at head OK, OK, I'll deal…if you guys be good little reviewers, then I'll update sometime tomorrow as well. Deal? I tried, I really did, to make this a bit longer, but it just works so well how it ends. I promise I'll make an effort to make chapter 27 a bit longer…and a bit more conclusive. So, I'll get back to the keyboard until I have to get ready from work, I'll work a bit on it tonight, and possibly have it up for you guys around this time tomorrow as well…if all goes good on the homework scale (if there is such as thing as "good" when homework is involved). Hope you guys enjoy and don't kill me too badly over how it ends, cuz well…you need me living and breathing to write chapter 27 right…especially since no one really knows how I plan to end this snicker Anywho, Enjoy the chapter!

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**Chapter 26**

"Tom, I'm sorry but I…"

"It's ok Adele, I understand." I told my sister. Her brown eyes stared down at my sympathetically. We had admitted Jude into the hospital about a half hour earlier and still had no word about her condition. Adele had stayed to keep me company, but I knew she had to get back home to Serena.

"I wish I could stay, but you know how the neighbors are with Serena." She said, looking torn. I nodded my acknowledgement but didn't say much else. My mind was elsewhere. I kept replaying this morning over and over again in my head, trying to figure out what happened. It just…didn't add up in my mind. No matter how many times I thought it through, Jude was fine this morning when I woke her up. Tired, and distressed. She did look a bit pale, but I thought it was from the nightmare.

Adele leaned down and hugged me a brief moment, breaking me of my critical analysis, and stood upright again. I looked up at her, thankful that for once in my life, she was being understanding.

"Call me when you hear anything, ok?" She told me and I nodded. She sighed and looked torn.

"Adele, go, I'm fine." I told her, feeling anything but. I was numb. I couldn't get the image of Jude passing out of my head. I couldn't forget the sound of her wrist breaking when Chris shoved her to the side. I felt sick and I felt guilty. If I hadn't run off, this all probably wouldn't have happened. If I would have been strong so many weeks ago and made her go back home, we wouldn't be in this mess.

"OK, call me. I'll try and come back up later, ok?" She said and I waved a hand in goodbye, not trusting my voice. Adele turned and left, her heels clicking on the linoleum floor as she walked.

I blew out a long breath and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and putting my head in my hands. I closed my eyes and tried to control my thoughts to no success. I can't lose her too. I kept repeating over and over again.

I had a fleeting thought of calling Sadie or Jude's parents, but then thought better of it. I don't know how serious this is…yet, and they think she's with Mason and I really didn't want to partake in _that_ reality check if I didn't have to. I don't really think Stuart Harrison would be too happy to know his 17 year old daughter left the country to come stay with her 24, almost 25, year old producer.

I sighed heavily and looked back up at the ceiling. I was never a religious person. I didn't believe in God. I can't believe that some divine power has some form of control over our lives. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'll go to hell for my ignorance, but I couldn't stop the next thought that came through my mind. Please God, don't take Jude from me too.


	29. Chapter 27

**A/N: **I promised a long one and I delivered. :D You guys rock my socks with your awesome reviews. You guys are great. Sorry, again, about the short chapter, but it just worked so well, for me anyway. As promised, a longer update – 6 pages according to my word doc. This will answer some questions and raise some others, so the fic's not over yet! I'm off to work on the next Black Sunday update (yeah, yeah, I know, you guys want more here too, but I gatta balance the time somehow ;D ). I wrote this initially around 8:00 pm last night, finished around 11 or so and beta-ed during lab time when I finished all I needed to do but had to stay to get credit for being in class :P. Enjoy the chapter! I look forward to seeing your wonderful reviews.

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**Chapter 27**

There are moments in your life that time just flies away from you. Those precious moments when you want it to last forever and it only ended too soon. There's moments when time goes by at just the right pace and times when it passes by pain-stakingly slow. Right now, Time was passing by brutally slow. It seemed every time I glanced at a clock, only a millisecond had ticked off the clock. I paced, I sat restless, I tried to look at magazines and I was asked for an autograph by I can't count how many people. You'd think, after all that, it'd kill some time; at least make it go by faster, but no, life can never be that simple. Sometimes, time just makes you go crazy with its inconsistent ability to pass you by. That was my life right now.

"Mr. Quincy?" I heard a voice say and I snapped my head up to see an older man in a white lab coat looking apprehensively at me. He held a file in one hand and a pen in the other. I about leaped out of the chair and waited for the doctor to give me news about Jude. He had his head in his notes and read off of them, making me relatively irritated he couldn't remember his own diagnosis.

"Ms. Harrison was admitted just over an hour ago." He said, reading from his notes. I couldn't help but feel annoyed with that opening statement. I think I know how long I've been waiting to hear word on my gir-um, Jude.

"Her left wrist is broken in two places. We set the bone and fitted her with a cast." He explained looking up and then glancing back at the notes. I wanted to strangle the guy. Yeah, I know she has a broken wrist. But that didn't make her pass out. That didn't give her a high fever, now did it?

"And her illness?" I asked, not able to let the man talk at his own pace. What can I say, I was never one for patience and I was irritated. I wanted news and I had hoped I didn't have to see another hospital until my deathbed.

"She is still running a high grade fever. We ran some tests and found she has a pretty severe case of pneumonia."

"Pneumonia?"

"Yes, sir." He told me, looking up from his notes. I was confused. How could she have gotten…?

"But doesn't that take time to get serious?" I asked, not understanding completely what happened. I knew Pneumonia is an infection in the lungs. I know it's treatable and I didn't know there was such a situation as "serious pneumonia".

"In most cases it is a gradual occurance. Has Ms. Harrison complained about a sore throat?" I shook my head no. "Any shortness of breath?" He asked and I frowned at that one. Some, I'll admit, but that night I thought it was from…other activities.

"Um…I'm not sure." I responded. And the doctor made a few notes on the chart.

"Any coughing? Wheezing…?"

"No. She looked pale this morning and I thought maybe she had a fever but she didn't seem to be running a temperature." I explained and the doctor nodded and made more notes.

"Pneumonia can be a sudden onslaught, as it seems Ms. Harrison's case maybe. It has a variety of causes, the most common being bacterial and viral. We have to run more tests to make a conclusion to exactly which kind she has been infected with, but from what you're saying, it seems it's a bacterial, as we suspect. We have started her on a series of antibiotics and oxygen to help keep her oxygen levels normal. Her fever is still high and hasn't gone down." He explained to me, and I felt my head spinning with all the laymen's medical terms. I had enough of diagnosis and treatments and doctors trying to explain things. I sighed.

"But she'll be ok?" I asked, feeling apprehensive.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Mr. Quincy. Ms. Harrison's current condition is serious. The next 48 hours are going to be critical. First and foremost, we need to get her fever down and clear up her lungs."

This can't be happening. I thought, trying to keep myself together.

"Does she have any family in the area?" The Doctor asked me and I shook my head.

"No, she doesn't." I answered, running a hand through my hair.

"Do you know anything about Ms. Harrison's medical history?" He asked me and I shook my head no. The only thing I did know was she hadn't had so much as a cold in the last two years, but that didn't necessarily help the man. I watched helplessly as he made a few notations on Jude's file. "Is there anyone you can contact to get the information? We need to know if she's allergic to any medications or has had a previous history."

"Yeah, I'll get the information." The doctor nodded and handed me a few forms that he apparently wanted me to fill in.

"You can return those to the nurse's station once they're filled out." He told me and looked like he was about to leave.

"When can I see her?" I asked quickly, needing to see for myself that Jude was still, relatively, ok.

"We're getting her set up in a room now. I'll have one of the nurses let you know." He told me before turning away and going back through the doors.

I sighed heavily and sat down a moment, trying to process what had just happened. I shook my head to clear it. I couldn't brood now. I had a phone call to make.

I pulled out my cell and scrolled through my contact list, mentally pleading with myself that I didn't make a rash decision to delete the number. I closed my eyes in a mixture of pain and relief when I saw "Sadie" still programmed into my phone. My thumb hovered over the call button a moment, dreading making the call. I didn't want to do this, but it had to be done.

"Here goes nothing." I muttered to myself as I pressed the green call button and held my phone up to my ear, counting off the number of rings. I had no idea what I was going to say. I didn't know how to even tell her. I mean, I don't think "Hey Sadie, how are you? Oh, I'm good, by the way your sister is in the hospital" is going to cut it. Not even factoring in the she's probably not going to answer because she wants nothing to do with my, supposedly, cheating ass.

"Hello?" a male voice said and I froze a moment. Oh. My. God.

"Kwest?" I managed to say, my voice partially strangled from surprise.

"Uh…Hi Tom." My best friend greeted.

"Why are you answering Sadie's phone?" I asked as I heard a giggle in the background. Oh. That explains it. See, I'm not as slow as people think. I can add two and two and come out to four.

"We were just…um, hanging out." Kwest said, trying to sound casual but I knew otherwise. I wasn't that dumb.

"Dude, when were you going to tell me you're doing my ex?" I asked bluntly, not able to think of a more casual or suave way to say it.

"Dude, why are you calling your ex?" He challenged. Good point.

"Trust me, it's not something I'd do willingly." I stressed and sighed. "Just…give Sadie the phone." I told my friend and I heard a bit of shuffling before silence.

"Hello?" Sadie answered and I took a moment to collect my thoughts. Yeah, like reason ever works when Sadie is involved.

"Hey, Sades." I greeted and I could feel the resentment from the other end of the phone. Great, this was going to be fun.

"What the hell do _you_ want?" She demanded.

"Sadie, you know I wouldn't call you willingly, so"

"What did you do to Jude?" She accused.

"Hey, I didn't do…" OK, so maybe I did do something. A lot of somethings, but I don't particularly want to think back on that right now.

"Tom, what did you do to my sister?" OK, maybe I can get this out without her killing me.

"She'sinthehospital." I said quickly and Sadie did not even pause a beat.

"SHE'S **_WHAT_**?!" She screeched into my ear and I winced at the volume. Stupidity for not knowing, or anticipating, that was coming. "What the hell did you do to my sister Quincy? So help me god, if you"

"Sadie!" I yelled over her to get her to shut up. "Will you let me explain."

"Why is my sister in the hospital?" She asked, her voice venomous.

"She's sick."

"Sick enough for the hospital?"

"She's got a severe pneumonia."

"How the hell did my sister get a pneumonia?" Sadie demanded.

"Like I'm a scientist!" I snapped back. Hell, I failed basic science in first grade, let alone what causes pneumonia or whatever. I can't even remember what the hell that even entailed, just that I failed and failed miserably. I sighed again and tried to get to the task at hand without losing it.

"Look, Jude…she's really sick. She collapsed earlier and was running a high fever. My sister and I brought her to the hospital and the doctor just came out and told me she had a case of pneumonia. I don't know much else. I only know that this morning, she looked a bit sick." I paused a moment, a frown coming over my face. "Wait, how did you know Jude was with me?" I asked her.

"Because Jude's done nothing but mope around since you left. I'm not that blonde Tom." She paused a moment. "Besides, she told me, sort of, before she left." Just what I needed; another reason for Sadie to be bitter.

"Look, Sadie, The doctor tells me Jude's not doing too well right now. He wants some information for forms and treatment or whatever and I don't know her history." I told her and Sadie sighed.

"Fine. I'll give you the information." She said, sounding put off. I sighed and I knew I'd regret my next words.

"Sadie, I think…for caution sake, you should come down here."

"Oh my god." Sadie said and I knew she was going to cry.

"Sadie, don't cry."

"My sister's in the hospital in another country and you're telling me that she's" Sadie said, her voice whining and becoming higher pitched.

"Sadie, she's not going to die!" I couldn't let that happen. "I just…she's probably going to want her sister when she's feeling like crap." I tried to explain and Sadie seemed to have calmed down…somewhat.

"I want to see her." She said, her voice pouty.

"I figured as much."

"I can't afford to fly to…"

"Montana." I finished.

"Montana." She repeated.

"Sadie, Expenses paid. Put it on your credit card, I'll pay you with interest." I informed her and I could picture the look on her face. "Just…don't go too overboard." I added with a wince. I could see her ordering first class with all the trimmings just to spite me.

With that, Sadie helped me fill in the records. After that she informed me she was coming down with Kwest and I told her I'd be sure to make sure someone got her from the airport as long as she called me back with flight information.

As I hung up my cell, I hoped that I didn't make a wrong decision in bringing Sadie into this. But I couldn't call her parents. And Jude…she needed her family.

I sighed and I got up and returned the forms to the nurse's desk and waited to be told I could see Jude. I needed her to make it through this. I hoped I didn't just lie to Sadie when I said she was going to be fine, but I had to believe it. I couldn't lose Jude. Not after everything we've been through. Not after we nearly made it.

"Mr. Quincy?" I heard a voice say and I looked up.

"You can see her now." The nurse told me, giving me a reassuring smile. I nodded and took a deep breath before I stood up. She smiled kindly at me and led me, silently, down the hall to Jude's room.


	30. Chapter 28

**A/N: **I must say, wow. I didn't know that many people have had pneumonia before. I also must say, I did some research, but I hold the right to be creative with the illness. I can't portray everything because…well, I don't have the experience and, well, it's a piece of fiction so I can play it up or down if I feel like, right? ;) Besides, the more research I do, the longer it'll be for another update and I don't think you want that now do ya? ;D I just wanted to state that before someone pointed out "um, that wouldn't happen" or whatever. A piece of this chapter, I feel, is long overdue. I hope you like it, though you probably won't too much, lol! Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying. A note to the Black Sunday readers, the next chapter A/N is gonna contain a challenge/contest for ya guys. The first reviewer to answer correctly will get a chance to get a spoiler of their choice (except for the ending of the fic ;D ) I feel it'll be a good way to discuss some origins and references in the fic, so be on the look out for that. Anyway, enough of my rambles…except, I must say, do you guys know how hard it is to transcribe episodes? Seriously. No wonder no one does it too frequently, lol! Anyway, I'm done. Enjoy the chapter and I'll make an attempt to get something else out sometime this week. I'm outtie! Enjoy!

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**Chapter 28**

I opened the door and it was like a physical blow. My heart clenched and I felt tears sting my eyes when my eyes fell on Jude laying in the hospital bed. She was hooked up to an oxygen machine with the small tubes up her nose to help her breathe better. She had an IV stuck into her right hand and her left was incased in off-white plaster. She was sickly pale and her blonde hair lacked it's usual shine.

I forced myself to move, not really believing the sight in front of me and I stood next to her bed, my mind trying to absorb everything around me. This couldn't be happening. I thought, closing my eyes a moment to gain some control. This can't be happening. It's got to be a dream. I'll wake up and everything will be ok. I told myself, not truly believing it.

I would never be able to dream up the sight before me. I opened my eyes and I was still standing in the hospital room. I sighed deeply and reached down to brush stray hairs off of Jude's face. Her skin was hot and clammy to the touch from the fever but she looked peaceful.

The door opened and I turned to see a nurse walk in. She smiled warmly at me and I stepped out of the way as she checked Jude's vitals and made notes on her chart. She left soon after and I was left alone with her once again.

I pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down in it, my eyes never leaving her. It was irrational, but I felt like if I left her or took my eyes away from her, she'd slip away and I'd lose her forever.

I reached out and took her hand in mine, massaging the area around the IV, knowing well that the area often got sore. I opened my mouth to talk to her but nothing came out. I closed it again and sat with her, my eyes never leaving her.

**-----------------------------------**

"What the hell where you thinking?!" Adele yelled at me. I looked up from my seat, surprised at her outburst.

Adele had arrived home from the hospital about an hour earlier. Before she and Tom left, I ran. I wasn't stupid. I wasn't about to let myself be killed by my brother. The man had a mean left hook and my near broken jaw and swollen eye proved it.

"I"

"Right, you weren't!" Adele finished, throwing her hands up in the air, exasperated. I frowned as I watched my older sister. She never cared two shits what any of us did. Especially when it came to me and Tom. So, What was her deal now?

"You don't understand." I told Adele. My reasons weren't pure, but I hated my brother. We had some good times, we knew each other better than we admitted. When we were kids, we werelikethis. Tight. We told each other everything. And then…things changed. Tom changed.

"Try me." Adele said, her brown eyes glaring at me. I sighed and looked away from my sister. No one got it. No one understood. No one could understand.

"You won't get it." I told her, standing up to leave but she stopped me.

"I'm not as dumb as I look." She told me, eyes blazing.

"You want to know?" I asked, feeling my anger rise again.

"Yes, I do. I want to know why the hell my brothers hate each other of late." Adele said, for the first time in her life taking a real interest in me and Tommy.

"You shouldn't have to ask. It's my point, Ele." I said, using her nickname from when we were kids.

"Chris, talk to me." She said tiredly. I sighed, not wanting to talk.

"Later." I told her, brushing past and she let me go. I grabbed my coat off the rack and walked outside, hands deep in my pockets.

No one understood. No one could understand. I lost my brother to…fame. I lost him to random girls and I lost him to that stuck up Chaz Blackburn and the media mongrel Darius before we were out of Junior High.

No one seemed to care or notice that Tommy wasn't the only musical genius of the family. Yeah, he has perfect pitch. Yes he can play nearly any instrument he picks up and yes, his vocal range is that most artists would kill for. But I could play. I could carry a damn good tune myself. But no one ever noticed. No one ever cared. It was all about Tommy; it always was.

I was wrong to use Jude like that. I know that, but…I did care for her. She's so…perfect. So…unique. She intrigued me and she was more honest than most people ever are. To top it off, she's beautiful as all get out. Our run ins were brief, but I couldn't help but fall under her spell.

That night, I knew she thought I was Tommy, but I found that I didn't care. I just wanted to be close to her. To feel something good for once.

I blew out a breath and watched as the vapor evaporated into the air. I messed up. I lost any chance of keeping Jude as a friend. Or repairing my broken relationship with my brother.

I kept walking, trying to pinpoint the moment when I hated him. Our teenage years we spent fighting. After that, we spoke only when we had to. Usually a phone call on our birthday or Christmas. We avoided each other for years. When he came home, I was looking forward to seeing my brother again. My jealousy was gone. And then…I don't know what happened. I just knew that I ruined any chance of fixing our broken relationship.


	31. Chapter 29

**A/N: **hey guys! Sorry it's been awhile, but holiday rush and all got me a bit busy. Hope all the fellow American's had a good turkey day! Black Sunday fans, be on the look out for an update between late tonight and sometime tomorrow, if all goes as planned. Enjoy! BTW: I wrote this at work while it was slow with no spell check and I'm too lazy to run it now. All mistakes are my fault.

**A/N 2**: OMG! GODS LOVE ME AGAIN! YAY! IT'S LIKE...LIKE...CHRISTMAS! OK seriously...kind of, so this chapter would have been up like...3 days ago, but ff.n had a meltdown and it's hated me ever since it's been "fixed". Apparently, the Gods have taken pity on me or the sacificial lamb earlier did the trick (kidding). And what's with me using "like"? I never use like...weird. Anyway, too lazy to reword so there. :D I'm just happy my update is here. dances happily around the room I hope the other fellow Americans had a good thanksgiving and a "Black Friday" which I spent, at work, per usual. Friday, not thanksgiving. Thanksgiving I visited the fam and gave thanks to the powers that be I live in another state. Seriously. We put the Fun in Dysfunction. Anyway, enough about that and onto the fic. Grins widely didn't think that would be happening again. HA! ... maybe I shouldn't have ate that mini-Reese cup Amanda offered me at work, eh? OK, I'm done. You guys are probably either severly amused or wondering what kind of drugs I'm currently taking (none) or think I'm incredibly weird, but whatever. You're here for the fic...even if you're reading this, so to quote my favorite author "Why are you reading this and not the story?! Not that I mind, but the story's way better. I promise".

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Chapter 29 **

I squirmed in my chair, anxiously waiting for the plane to land. I was worried. I was scared, and I wanted nothing more than to see my sister look at me with her firey gaze and tell me that she was ok and I'm an idiot for flying thousands of miles to see her well.

I know I wasn't always the best sister to my little sis, but my protective instincts were in full swing. I use to beat up little kids on the playground who use to call her names and push her in the mud. Despite our differences, she's my sister and I love her.

I felt a hand on mine and I glanced over at the man next to me. He gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand to lend me his support. I smiled back, grateful for the small gesture.

"I know it's probably redundant to ask, but are you ok?" Kwest asked me and I nodded, feeling anything but. I didn't fly well; I found that much out when I went to Europe. I got light headed, my ears ached, my head throbbed, and my stomache felt queezy. I never once threw up, but I always felt like I was going to and that was enough. "She's Jude," He told me simply, sensing that I wasn't as ok as I was trying to let on. "She's strong. She'll be ok." Kwest told me confidently.

"Thanks Kwest." I said and I meant it. I leaned over and lay my head on his shoulder and his arm slipped naturally around me. He kissed the top of my blonde hair and I closed my eyes and let him comfort me.

Kwest. I was confused when it came to him. He's sweet and caring. He always knew what to say and do to make me feel better; to make me feel loved and special. Like I mattered. I really liked him, but...and here comes the drawback. I work with him. I didn't want to get involved with anyone at work because...well, it would get awkward. But I couldn't find myself saying no when he asked me to lunch, I couldn't bring myself to return the flowers, the candies, and the other little things he brought my way. And I especially couldn't say no to his...Kwest-ness.

I was falling, and falling hard. I didn't want a relationship right now. I wanted to be single and tease the boys with something they couldn't have. Though I never showed it, I was heart broken over Tom. I loved him, and not just the guy I didn't know. At first, it was about being with my idol...and then I got to know him. And it hurt that I always came second. Second to work. Second to Darius. Second to Portia. Second to Jude. Even weirder, is I'm falling head over heels for my Ex's best friend.

I sighed and opened my eyes. I looked up into Kwest's hazel eyes which were full of concern.

"Thanks for coming with me." I told him, truly meaning it. I don't know if I would want to do this alone.

"Sadie," He told me, playing with the ends of my hair, "I'd go anywhere with you."

I felt my heart melt and I wanted to cry. I had no idea what to say in return, but his words meant more to me than I could express. I sat up and did the only thing I could think of. I kissed him on the cheek, my lips lingering a bit longer than necessary. When I pulled back, I caught a glimpse of his eyes and I knew my message was received.

**-----------------------------------**

I was vaguely aware of something playing with my hair; of the sensation of someone massaging my scalp and I opened my eyes. The small act itself was a bit more difficult than usual. I glanced up and saw Jude looking down at me. She smiled when she saw I was awake and I didn't even remember falling asleep.

"Hey," She greeted, her voice raw and weak.

I sat up and stretched slightly. My back was stiff from leaning down and my neck was sore from the weird angle I was in.

"How you feeling?" I asked, noting her face was still sickly pale. She had a layer of sweat on her forehead and her hair was laying flat against her head. Her eyes were tired and half-mast.

"Like hell." She answered, wincing and I saw her swallow with difficulty.

I got up, my body protesting the movement, and stepped over to the table and poured a glass of water and handed it to her. Jude took to cup and held it to her lips, her hands shaking slightly as she drank it down.

"Feel better?" I asked her, trying to subtly work out a few kinks before sitting back down again.

"A bit." She said, her voice still not coming back. I couldn't help the look of sympathy I sent her before sitting back down in the chair next to her bed. "What happened?" She asked, frowning slightly.

"The cliffnotes version, you collapsed back at the house. You were running a high fever and Adelle and I brought you to the hospital. They diagnosed you with a pneumonia." I explained, trying not to think about the panic I had been experiencing the night before. I was more than relieved when she regained consciousness in the middle of the night for about 15 seconds before falling back asleep.

"Oh." Jude said, looking down at her cast and study it a moment. I dropped my gaze from her and looked down at the floor. I felt guilt wash over me when I remembered why she had a broken wrist. I know some people would say it's irrational, but I felt like her being sick and her broken wrist was my fault. If I had made her go back inside that night or if I wouldn't have let my brother get to me, we wouldn't be here right now.

I felt Jude's hand on mine and I glanced up at our hands. She eased mine into hers and massaged my fingers gently. Her hand was slightly clammy from her fever and the earlier unsteadiness she had experienced were gone.

"It's not your fault." She croaked out and I looked up at her again, marveling for a moment how she knew what I was thinking. She smiled slightly at me and started to say more when she started to cough.

She pulled her hand from mine and held it over her mouth as she coughed violently. I froze, not knowing what to do to help her. I could hear her gasp for breath between bouts of coughing, but I didn't know how to make it easier for her. I leaned forward and placed a hand on her back. I remember reading somewhere that the old fashioned hitting on the back doesn't help. I rubbed her back between her shoulder blades in slow circles, hoping the gesture comforted her in some way. I could feel her body shaking with each painful sounding cough.

The coughing began to subside and Jude leaned towards the other side of the bed and began to spit something out; my guess, phlem of some sort. I found that I wasn't disgusted. I was more worried if she was going to be ok or if she was hurting than to be grossed out; something I knew I normally would be. Jude finished and I helped her get into a comfortable position. Her body weak from the exhursion. Once she was settled back and laying against the pillows, I called a nurse to clean up the mess. I walked back into the room and I froze when my eyes locked with Jude's. My body didn't work and my brain shut down. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself unable to breathe for a moment.

"Tommy?" Jude croaked out, her voice quieter and weaker than it was before.

I shook my head and got control of my body again. "Yeah?" I managed to say, as I took my place beside her again, trying not to show how unhinged I really was. She had a slight frown on her face, so subtle it was barely there. I gave her a reassuring smile but my brain was still not working up to speed. One thought was playing on constant repeat.

I'm in love with Jude Harrison.


	32. Chapter 30

**A/N: **Yeah, I know, it's been forever. I was taking a study break and got inspired. What can I say, reading about Terrorism in Central America can really inspire someone (kidding…kind of). So, I wrote and came up with this. Hopefully I'll get more to this and BS up soon. Enjoy the chapter, and I'm back to cracking the books open.

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**Chapter 29**

"Jude, I…" I paused suddenly, not able to spit the words out I wanted to say. Jude looked up at me with her soft, blue eyes, encouraging me to continue. Though her eyes reflected her exhaustion, half lidded and slightly glazed over, she was fighting to stay awake for me.

Before I could continue, the door to her room opened and I looked over my shoulder to see Sadie and Kwest entering the room. Sadie immediately ran over to the bed and I got up to move out of her way. Sadie pulled her sister into a hug, crying slightly.

I glanced over at Kwest and he jerked his head towards the door in a non-verbal way of telling me he needed to talk to me alone. I cast one last look at Jude and Sadie and followed Kwest out of the room.

I closed the door softly behind me and Kwest looked nervously at me.

"What's up?" I asked him, not able to figure out what he had to say that couldn't wait.

"I didn't want to dump this on you right away-"

"So don't." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest and Kwest shot me a glare. I uncrossed my arms and held them open in a 'what?' gesture.

"I'm sorry about your mom." He started and I nodded my acknowledgement, not knowing how to address that any other way.

"Kwest, you didn't pull me out here to express your sympathy." I said and added "Not that I don't appreciate it."

"I know." Kwest said and sighed.

"Kwest, just tell me."

"Remember those pictures…" I closed my eyes and cursed. I knew where this was going already. "More were leaked."

"D didn't shut this guy up yet?!" I yelled and several people turned to look at us. I winced and Kwest and I remained quiet until people went about their business.

"Look, the kid hasn't been tracked down yet; he released more pictures to the press and Darius has the PR department working overtime. He wants Jude back ASAP so G Major can hold a campaign."

"She's in the fucking hospital!"

"I know," Kwest said blowing out a breath. "Look, don't shoot the messenger. Darius doesn't want us to linger."

I felt my hands ball into fists. This is why I hate Darius Mills. It's all about money and sales and doesn't give a damn about personal integrity or the well-being of his employees; unless they're number one and making him richer than he already is.

"Does Jude know?" Kwest asked me and I nodded. "Did you tell her?"

"She kind of found out on her own." I told him and Kwest nodded his acknowledgement.

We were silent a long moment and Kwest sighed.

"How is she?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"Doctors think she's responding to the medications ok."

"But…?"

"She's just…" I hung my head, not able to look Kwest in the eyes. "so weak." I could feel Kwest's gaze burning at me and I felt like a five year old who got his hand caught in the cookie jar before dinner.

"T-"

"I know!" I said, looking up in frustration.

"No, you don't know." He retorted and I was instantly confused. Kwest didn't support my…infatuation with Jude. Never did. He was the one who told me to go for Sadie for crying out loud. "Tom" His tone was condescending.

"What?"

"Go for it." I gave him an incredulous look.

"What happened to 'Jude bad'?" I asked and Kwest smiled.

"It's obvious." I continued to stare at him like an idiot. What the hell was he talking about. Kwest just continued to smile knowingly at me.

"Kwest-"

Before I could finish, loud beeps came from Jude's room. I glanced at Kwest, panic setting in. I went to go back inside when a rush of nurses and her doctor ran in. They forced Sadie out, who was crying and questioning what was going on.

"Miss, we need you to remain calm-"

"My sister is dying in there! How can I remain calm!" Sadie yelled and I felt my heart sink to my feet.

No, this couldn't be happening. Not again.


	33. Chapter 31

**A/N: **I know, it's been like…forever! But here it is! I finally got chapter 30 down the way I want it. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I loved writing it. For those that apply, have a Merry Christmas!

**

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Chapter 30**

After, what felt to me as, an eternity, Jude's Doctor came into the waiting room and stopped before Kwest, Sadie, and I.

"How is she?" Sadie said and I wondered how she could sound so calm. Her arms were wrapped around her waist and Kwest was…comforting her. I don't know exactly how, I just knew I couldn't look at the two of them without feeling like I was backstabbed by my best friend. I know I should be happy for Kwest…and Sadie, but…I don't know. I still don't know how I feel about my best friend and my ex suddenly hooking up.

"Her lungs weren't clearing as well as we thought they were," Doctor Jones stated and we all waited for him to explain further. "With pneumonia, fluid builds up in the lungs and can cause complications. With medication, it shouldn't happen."

"But it did." I said and Jones looked over at me with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Yes," He cleared his throat and continued, "We upped Jude's medication and cleared out her airways. We added an oxygen tube to help her."

"And she'll be ok?" Sadie asked, her voice sounding like she was about to cry.

"If no further complications exist, I don't see why your sister shouldn't be close to normal within the next couple of days." Doctor Jones stated and I glanced over at Sadie to see a look of relief cross her features and Kwest's hold tighten around her waist. I looked away to the floor again.

"When can we see her?" Sadie asked.

"She's stabilized and resting. Only one at a time and make the visits short; Jude needs her rest."

"Thank you Doctor." Sadie said and the man nodded in response and turned and walked away.

I don't understand why she thanked him. The guy is an asshole and the sole reason Jude's breathing failed in the first place. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair for the countless number of times within the last 24 hours.

The happy couple turned their attention to me and I sighed before looking up at them. I had to admit, Sadie and Kwest made a good couple.

"Tommy, I"

"Sadie, go see your sister." I told her, squishing the urge to run into Jude's room and thank whatever power that be whom decided to take pity on me today.

"Are you sure, I can…"

"Sadie, she's your sister," I told her and Sadie sighed.

"Yeah, and you're her"

"Producer?" I cut her off, not wanting to go down that road.

"You know you're more than that." She told me and I closed my eyes. God I hoped so. I'd be the happiest man alive if that were a completely undisputed statement. Deep down, I knew it to be true. "Just, go Tom." She told me and I looked back up at her, about to argue when she trumped any argument I could come up with. "She'd want to see you anyway."

Hard to argue with the truth.

"You know you want to, man." Kwest piped up and I rolled my eyes. Great, now they're both against me…or is it for me?

"I'm going!" I said, sighing dramatically and getting up. The couple glared at me and I left the room before someone threw a punch. Mainly, Sadie. She maybe a blonde cheerleader, but that girl packs a mean punch.

I walked down the hallway with my heart racing. I had no idea what I was going to say to Jude now. I nearly confessed my love for her before Sadie and Kwest got here and I know Jude. I know she'll bring it up again.

As I neared Jude's door, I knew my whole problem. Love scares the shit out of me. It's love that make women stay with men who beat the living shit out of them every night. It's love that drives a stalker and/or psycho-fan girl to do their…whatever it is that creepy stalkers do. It hurts people, it makes people happy, it's torture and it's bliss. It's so many different conflicting things that it makes no logical sense. Why strive for love when it's so damn complicated? That's always been my philosophy; keep things simple.

And then Jude walked into my life. Jude Harrison, the most intriguing girl I've ever met and she's 7 years younger than me. Jude, the one person who actually understands me…sometimes more than I understand myself. A loner by choice, but I find myself drawn to her.

Jude Harrison, the only love of my life.

I sighed and shook my head to clear it. Now wasn't the time to figure out my relationship with Jude.

I stepped into her room and closed the door behind me. I looked over at the small hospital bed to see Jude laying there, asleep. I smiled slightly at the sight of her and walked closer to the bed and pulled up a chair as I neared to sit down in.

She looked a bit paler, but she was breathing again. I blew out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and reached for her small, delicate hand and rubbed the area around the saline IV drip they had going.

She was so peaceful looking that it was hard to believe moments ago she was in respiratory arrest.

I closed my eyes and kissed the top of her hand and felt tears sting my eyes as reality sunk in. I almost lost her.

I set her hand down and reached up to brush some stray hairs off of her face, my eyes filling up with tears and I took a deep breath to try and get myself back under control.

She's fine, she's ok. I told myself over and over, but I couldn't shake the feeling I had when I heard the alarms sounding in her room. I thought I had died myself at that moment.

"You gave us all a scare, girl." I said, no longer feeling weird talking to a dead to the world person. I reached up and stroked the top of her head, loving the feel of her silky blonde hair. "You had us all worried." I told her softly, finding myself being oddly comforted by talking to her sleeping form.

I felt a few tears fall from my eyes and I didn't bother to whip them away.

"Jude, I…" I took a deep breath to steady myself and continued. "I realized something today, and I wanted to tell you earlier but then Sadie and Kwest walked in…" Why am I doing this? Why am I confessing everything to her while she's unconscious? "I couldn't. And then when that alarm went off, I about died girl. I realized that, I couldn't loose you too," I ran a finger down her face and traced her jaw line. I didn't care if she woke up anymore, I wanted her to wake up. I wanted her to hear this. "When my mom…" I took a shuddering breath and tried to compose myself. "I knew I could get through it because…because I had you. It…it made the pain less. And when you collapsed at the house…I was scared. I can't loose you girl. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm sorry I've been an ass when it comes to us, but Jude…I'm scared. I'm scared of what I feel for you and how easily I can hurt you or…whatever it is I do. I'm new to this feeling Girl, and I didn't know until all this happened that I…" I felt my throat close with emotion and more tears fell down my face. Damn it, I had to say this.

"I love you." I managed to get out and I closed my eyes and lay my head down on the bed beside her and let myself cry. I hated crying, but after everything that had happened lately, I needed the emotional release.

I felt something touch my head and I glanced up to see Jude looked down at me. Her eyes were half-lidded, but she looked…almost happy. She reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes and I looked away from her, feeling ashamed that she saw me crying. Her hand flattened against my cheek and she turned my head to look at her.

"I love you too." She told me and I couldn't help but smile at her.


	34. Chapter 32

**A/N: **OK, fluff is so hard to write when I'm in drama mod with Low and Black Sunday. Seriously, the transition is so completely the other direction that I'm afraid this chapter has turned to uber-cheesy. But that's ok, it's Jommy after all, right? Great, now I just spoiled the chapter. Anyway, consider this a Happy New Year present from yours truly. I hope to get a Black Sunday update as well, for those on the edge of their seats waiting to see what's going to happen with Tom/Jason. And I must say, I am mad at ff.n. I miss seeing the review alerts! Review alerts make me happy! Though I am stalking the story pages, what can I say, I'm a review whore. Anyway, be on the lookout for a BS update. If it doesn't happen within the next…hour, then it won't be up til 2007! Have a happy new year and I hope you like the fluffy chapter!

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**Chapter 32**

I felt like I was floating. Like I was high up in the clouds and nothing could bring me down. It's like…complete and utter bliss. And then I heard…something; A voice. I wanted to hear it, to make it out, but I couldn't. It was like I was suddenly deaf. I looked around me to see who was talking, but I was blind and unable to see who was talking; only darkness and no longer floating in the clouds. I could feel myself panic, but I couldn't scream. I couldn't reach for the person talking to me. As much as I was panicked and frustrated, the voice comforted me. It made me calm down and brought me back to earth. It grounded me and touched my soul.

"…I knew I could get through it because…because I had you. It…it made the pain less. And when you collapsed at the house…I was scared. I can't loose you girl. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm sorry I've been an ass when it comes to us, but Jude…"

_Tommy_? I was completely awake now, but I kept my eyes close. I didn't want him to stop. I tried hard not to cry at his voice. He sounded so broken, so, lost. I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him everything would be ok. But my arms felt like lead and I was still an invalid.

"I'm scared. I'm scared of what I feel for you and how easily I can hurt you or…" His voice shook with emotion, "whatever it is I do. I'm new to this feeling Girl, and I didn't know until all this happened that I…"

He broke off, overcome with emotion. I tried to grab his hand, but my fingers wouldn't work still. _Please Tommy_, _finish your thought_. I mentally pleaded with him, trying to get my body to work to let try and coax his words out of him.

"I love you."

The words rang through my head and I wanted to cry. He loves me. I wanted to take him in my arms and kiss him for all he was worth, but I couldn't work through my haze to figure out how to get my body to function once again.

I felt weight on the bed next to me and a soft choking sound of Tommy crying. I had never seen him cry; never heard him cry. Not even after his mom died. It broke my heart to nearly witness his break down and I fought to get my eyes opened.

I blinked against the harsh light and moved my fingers slightly, glad they seemed to be working again. _The power of love_, I thought as I lifted my hand enough to touch the top of his head and brush through his silky dark hair. I felt him stiffen beneath my touch and his head lifted to look up at me and I tried to smile at him but my muscles weren't completely agreeing with me. I moved my hand and brushed the stray tears from his eyes and he looked away from me, like he was ashamed he let me see him cry.

I tried to say something, anything, but my vocal cords wouldn't work yet and nothing came out but a barely audible squeak. I moved my hand down his cheek and flattened my hand against his cheek, slightly rough from a couple days growth of beard, and turned his face to look at me. His eyes were still tear filled and blood shot, and his gaze was enough to win me a thousand times over.

"I love you too," I managed to say and he smiled at me in response.

We stared into each other's eyes a long moment, not saying anything, just reveling in our love. We finally admitted it. I was scared and happy all at the same time. I was afraid he was going to try and deny it, to pretend we didn't say anything.

I watched him as he turned his face slightly and kissed the palm of my hand. I closed my eyes and sighed contentedly. He reached up and captured my hand in his and interlocked our fingers.

"What now?" I asked him, afraid of his answer but needing it all the same.

"I don't know." He told me, and I had to look away before I drowned in his gaze. "All I know is that I can't pretend like I don't have romantic feelings towards you anymore," He said, sounding drained. "I can't…won't do it." He admitted and I looked into his eyes, filled with renewed determination, and I knew he meant what he said.

"Me either," He smiled at me and leaned down and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering longer than necessary and leaving me wanting more.

"What happens when we-" I was cut off by a rough cough and Tommy waited patiently for me to recover. "when we go back home?" I managed to croak out as he poured me a glass of water from the bedside table. He handed me the plastic cup, my hands shaking slightly from the excursion, and he kept a hand outstretched to help me if I needed it. I took a long drink and handed the cup back to him and he set it back on the night stand.

"We'll figure it out." He told me, caressing my hand. Not quite answering my question, but answering it enough to tell me things were going to change between us.

Hopefully, for the better.

I felt my eyes grow heavy and I blinked a couple times to fight the sudden drowsiness that came over me. Tommy must have noticed the change because his eyes softened.

"You shouldn't fight it," He told me, "you need to rest."

"I'm afraid this is going to be a dream." I told him and he looked away for a moment and then back at me.

"If it is, I don't want to wake up either."

I felt a smile form on my lips and I closed my eyes. Feeling more content than I ever thought possible in a hospital bed. I felt Tommy's hand slip out of mine and my eyes flew open to look at him.

"Stay." I told him, reaching out for him and grabbing the sleeve of his long-sleeved sweatshirt that someone must have brought him.

"I don't think that's in hospital policy," He said with a laugh and a smile. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop my own smile as well.

"You know what I mean," I said, stifling a yawn.

"Jude,"

"Please?" I asked, giving him my best puppy eyes.

"OK, but at least let me tell Sadie-"

"Sadie's fine," I told him firmly and pulled his arm and he swayed slightly from the sudden movement, "I, on the other hand, am in need of you."

Tommy shook his head slightly and I scooted over on the small bed to make room for him. He glanced over at the door and toed off his shoes before joining me on the bed. I smiled and curled up next to him, laying my head on his chest as his arm wrapped around me and held me close, his fingers playing lazily with the ends of my hair. I sighed in contentment and closed my eyes. Instantly I drifted off to sleep, safe and warm in my love's arms.


	35. Chapter 33

**A/N: **Not completely happy with this chapter, but it'll do. I'm still not 100 sure where to go with this once I hit a certain point, so we'll play it by ear and see what happens. I see this fic going at least to 40 chapters before I'll be ready to declare it done. I feel there's too much left open as of yet to end it in two or three more chapters. We'll see how it goes though. Who knows, maybe I'll hit 50, a new record ;). I hope you guys like this and I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. It was fun to write fluff for a bit.

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**Chapter 33**

"You must be Jude's sister." A woman in her early thirties stated. I looked over at the woman and I was deeply impressed. I could tell by a glance she was Tom's older sister. She had the same dark hair, maybe a shade or two darker. Her big eyes a startling emerald that probably didn't miss a slight detail. She's tall, had a body that was probably so naturally thin that it made me want to kill her. Her style is definitely something to be admired. I instantly recognized her outfit out of Ralph Lauren's new winter line.

I smiled at her and extended my hand.

"Sadie Harrison." I introduced. The woman smiled back and took my hand in a surprisingly firm, yet gentle, grip.

"Adele Perrine." She said, her eyes taking me in as she shook my hand. "Vera Wang, I'm impressed."

"As am I. I heard Ralph's new line wasn't due out for another month." Adele shrugged.

"I've got connections."

"I'd kill for those connections." I gushed and Adele smiled warmly at me.

"How's Jude doing?" Adele asked me, brushing past me to pour a cup of coffee off the counter.

"I hope better. When I came home last night, the doctors said she's stabilized and if no other complications arise, she can go home in a couple of days."

Adele nodded her understanding and looked as if she was about to say something when Kwest walked into the room, eyes barely open as he grunted a greeting and went for the coffee.

"Good Morning Kevin." Adele greeted and I raised an eyebrow. No one called Kwest by his full name. Not even me and I'm his girlfriend. His birth certificate states he's Kevin Ronald Westworth, a name I don't blame him for hating in the least. Besides, Kwest sounds much more…suave, cool, and not so snooty, just like the man himself.

Kwest shot Adele a glare which she returned with a satisfied smile.

"I'm sorry about your mom 'Ele, Celeste was always a great woman." Kwest murmured between sips of highly caffeinated brown liquid.

"Thank you," Adele said politely and added "I like to think it was for the best; her suffering's over." An awkward silence filled the room after that. I didn't know what to say and Kwest just sipped his coffee. Kwest had told me about Tom's mom and her cancer when Jude left Toronto to track him down. I don't know what I'd do if my mom passed away tomorrow. It was bad enough she ran off to Europe with Don with barely a goodbye. That hurt, but I couldn't even begin to image the pain Tommy and his sister were going through.

"I'll catch you guys later. I've got to go check on Serena." She said, glancing at the clock and leaving the room. I glanced over at Kwest who had set the coffee down and was eyeing the plastic fruit on the table.

"Honey, that's not real." I informed him, patting his arm and getting up from my seat. Kwest sent me a mocking glare and I laughed a moment before getting serious. "I'm going to get ready and head up to the hospital; I want to check on Jude."

Kwest nodded and got up as well. "I'm sure she's doing good now. Tom would have called if something changed."

"I know. I just…"

Kwest gave me a look of understanding and I sighed before walking over to him and kissing him softly.

"Thanks Kwest," I told him as his arms wrapped me into a hug. "Thanks for being so understanding. So…you."

I felt his lips touch the top of my head and I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of his arms around me and the safety I felt there.

"It's never a problem Sadie." He told me softly and that's what I love about him.

I smiled to myself as I opened my eyes and was greeted with a soft morning glow coming through the blinds of the hospital room. My head was resting on Tommy's chest and his arms were still wrapped around me. I smiled wider as curled closer to him and remembered last nights events.

We finally admitted we loved each other. I feel like a large weight had been lifted off of my shoulders by the admissions. I feel like I could float high above the clouds if his arms weren't anchoring me down to this bed. I'm so happy that I can feel it in my bones.

I felt Tommy stir slightly and I looked up to see his eyes blink awake. I smiled at him hesitantly and he looked sleepily at me.

"Hey," He murmured, his voice deeper and huskier from sleep.

"Hey," I returned and we just stared into each other's eyes. I looked away and I felt doubt flood into my mind. What if he changed his mind about last night? What if he only said he loved me because he was tired and scared I was going to- My thoughts abruptly ended as I felt his lips touch the top of my head. I sighed contentedly and looked back up at him.

"I'm sorry," A voice cut in and we both looked over to see a Nurse standing in the doorway. "But I need to check Ms. Harrison over."

I glanced at Tommy and we both looked at each other for a moment. His eyes were slightly amused and I felt like I had my mom caught me sneaking a cookie before dinner. Tommy kissed me on the cheek and we both moved so he could get off the bed.

"I'm going downstairs to get a coffee, want anything?" He asked me and I shook my head no and he left, leaving me feeling oddly cold and empty without him.

"OK Ms. Harrison, let's see how you're doing this morning," The Nurse stated, smiling at me as she took her stethoscope from around her neck and placed the ear pieces in place. I sighed and hoped she was done quickly so I could see Tommy again.

15 minutes later, the nurse left my room, seemingly satisfied with my progress. I guess that was good, I thought to myself.

The door opened again and I smiled.

"Hey, that was perfect time-" I stopped in mid sentence and my smile fell from my face as I saw who stepped into my room.

"Chris?"


	36. Chapter 34

**A/N: **So, yeah, it's been awhile, but guess what? 12 page update! I think that's a good enough one to start back with right? LOL! I didn't mean for it to get this long, it just kinda happened. Thankfully, I'm back to the plot of Running Back and should have this where I need it in another chapter. :D I hope you guys enjoy it!

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**Chapter 34**

"Chris?" I managed to say. I felt my heart pick up a few beats in anxiety. I didn't expect to see him walk into my hospital room door. Chris's hands were shoved deep into his pants pockets and he shifted nervously. I couldn't bring myself to have a coherent thought.

"Jude, I…"

"What are you doing here Chris?" I asked, not wanting to be a lone with the other man. Chris sighed.

"I was hoping to apologize to you." Chris told me, his tone soft and shaky, as if he was afraid I wouldn't accept his apology.

I gaped at him, not sure what to say to that. He took advantage of me and he wanted me to forgive him?

"Ms. Harrison?" I stopped in the hallway just outside my sister's room. Her doctor was coming up behind me, glancing down at a chart before meeting my questioning gaze. I felt Kwest slide his arm around my waist and give me a squeeze of assurance. I was thankful for the gesture.

"Your sister is much stronger this morning. With no further complications, we should be able to release her in 48 hours."

"You're serious?!" I asked, feeling hope flood through me.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up for nothing, Ms. Harrison."

I felt a smile appear on my face. So wide, it almost hurt my cheeks, but I didn't care. I was happy. My sister was going to be ok.

He gave me another nod and excused himself and walked into a room just behind us.

I turned around and looked at Kwest who was smiling at me.

"She's going to be ok!" I told him and he laughed slightly. I know he heard it for himself, but I had to say it. I threw my arms around Kwest and pulled him close to me. His arms tightened around me and pulled me close.

"I told you Jude would be ok." He murmured into my ear and kissed the top of my head. The small gesture warmed me to my toes and I was so thankful he came with me. So thankful that Kwest took an interest in me.

I pulled back slightly and looked into his chocolate colored eyes.

"Kwest?"

"Yeah, Sadie?"

"Thank you," I told him, putting everything into those words. Kwest smiled at me. "Thank you for coming with me and being…you."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." Kwest told me and I felt my heart melt at his words. Kwest bent his head down and I held my breath. He's going to kiss me, I thought, feeling excited at the prospect.

His soft lips touched mine and I felt it to my core. This is perfect, I thought, wrapping my arms around his neck and returning his kiss.

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I have to try, Jude." Chris told me, and I sighed. I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to forgive him. I didn't want to think about that night so many days ago. The thought made me want to throw up. God I almost had sex with the guy.

"Chris I…"

"Please, Jude?" He pleaded, his eyes begging me to give him a shot. I sighed. Tommy had that same look; that wounded puppy eyes that was enough to make any girl swoon and lose her resolve.

"I can't promise anything, Chris."

"I know, but…I have to try." He told me. I shrugged and didn't say anything else. I saw Chris sigh and he stepped further into the room, but kept enough of a distance away from me to keep me comfortable. I watched him carefully, waiting for a sign of…something. I don't know.

The cafeteria of the hospital was packed. It must have been that time of the day when they were super busy. I sighed and glanced over at the menu board, not at all thrilled at the idea of another day of hospital food.

I glanced down at my watch and frowned, an idea popping into my head. I turned around and left the cafeteria and dug my keys out of my pocket. I knew just thing to do; it was just a matter of bribing someone to let me sneak real food into Jude's room.

As I left the hospital and walked out to my car, I formulated my plan, pleased with my ideas and knowing Jude would love it.

"Kwest," I breathed out, feeling weak and dizzy from the soft kiss we shared.

"Sadie?"

"What are we doing?" I asked and he dropped his hands from around me and stepped back a bit, leaving me feeling cold without him.

"I don't"

"Not that I'm complaining," I said, smiling as I stepped closer to him again. Kwest smiled at me.

"Sadie, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked and I looked up into his eyes. He looked uncertain, like he wasn't sure if I would say yes, with a twinge of fear. I felt my heart soften considerably.

"Do you really have to ask?" I asked him, taking his hand in mine and intertwining our fingers.

"I know what I did to you isn't excusable." Chris stated, looking into my eyes.

"You took advantage of me." I stated and he sighed.

"I know."

"Why?" I asked, suddenly feeling compelled to know the answer.

"Simply put…jealousy." Chris told me and I scoffed. "Jude, Tommy's always had this great life and"

"That's no excuse Chris." I told him, feeling sick. "Tommy's life isn't perfect. He's had his share of pains."

Chris didn't say anything for a moment.

"Tommy didn't seem to realize what an amazing woman you are Jude." Chris told me and I felt my anger rise.

"Flattery will get you no where Chris."

"I know, but it's true." He told me, looking directly into my eyes since the first time he walked into the room. "I don't think he still fully realizes it."

"Tommy loves me."

"He doesn't know what love is."

"And you do?" I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest, my gaze daring him to continue.

"Sadie?"

"Yeah?"

"I really like you." He told me, his voice tentative and loving. I smiled back at Kwest.

"I really like you too." I told him and his smile widened.

I sighed and looked away from his gaze before I lost myself in his chocolate orbs.

"I need to see Jude," I reminded him and he nodded in understanding.

"When we get back home," Kwest told me, his voice serious. "I'm taking you out. Somewhere nice."

"I'd like that." He beamed and kissed me quickly. His hand took mine. "Let's go see that stubborn sister of yours." He said in a teasing tone. I laughed and walked with him down the hall.

Chris shifted his weight nervously and didn't answer my question.

"You had no right to take advantage of me like that. You had to have known I thought you were Tom."

"I didn't, at first."

"Excuse me?"

"Jude, I…I don't know. I thought"

"Chris, you're delusional." I told him, feeling sick. He actually thought that…I shuddered, not able to stop myself.

"I'm sorry Jude. It was wrong of me."

"Damn right it was." I snapped. He sighed.

"I'm trying, Jude."

"I'm not." I told him. "I can't forgive you for that." Chris's gaze dropped to the floor, not looking at me at all. "I will never be able to forgive you." I amended.

"Forgive him for what?" A voice said and I looked up in surprise. I didn't even hear Sadie and Kwest enter the room.

"Tom, what are you doing here?" Maryanne asked me. Maryanne owned a small diner in town and they served the best food anywhere in small-town Montana. She's a small, petite woman. How she managed to keep a near perfect figure was beyond me. She cooked everything and anything and had to have the metabolism of a speeding leopard; or the willpower of a Buddhist priest.

"Maryanne, I need a favor." I told her and she looked intrigued.

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"It's for my…" I paused, not sure if I should say girlfriend.

"Your girl?" She asked, smiling knowingly at me.I returned the smile.

"Yeah, my girl."

"What the hell did you do this time Quincy?" Sadie demanded, stomping up to Chris and getting into his face. "If you hurt my sister again, I swear I'll-"

"Sadie…"

"Kwest, I know he's your friend, but"

"Sadie…"

"What?!" She snapped at me.

"That's Chris." I told my sister, feeling slightly amused by the situation. Sadie looked puzzled and looked back at Chris and then at me.

"Sadie, I presume," Chris said and added "I'm Christopher, Tom's brother."

"Twin." Kwest added, and Sadie's look was priceless. Her eyes widened in realization and even her mouth dropped into an "o" of surprise.

"Sorry, um…wait, what the hell did you do to my sister you"

"Sadie?"

"What Jude?!" Sadie snapped, taking her gaze off of Chris and looking back over at me.

"It's fine." I told her, not really meaning it and feeling touched by my older sister. Sadie glared at Chris.

"I'll kill you if you hurt her you bastard." Sadie spat, turning on her heel away from him and coming closer to me. I noticed a look of fearful surprise registering on Chris's features and the proud look on Kwest's. "How you feeling today, Jude?" Sadie asked me, changing the subject.

"Better," I told her, honestly. Though I was starting to feel tired from all the excitement, I was definitely better than I was before. I almost felt human again.

Sadie smoothed back my hair and fussed a bit. She leaned down and asked quietly "what did he do?"

"Don't worry about," I told her, with a sigh. "It's done and over with."

"But I want to kick his ass." She said, glaring at Chris.

"It's in the past." I told Sadie. Sadie sighed and Chris and Kwest were talking for a moment before Chris caught my gaze.

"I'll um…leave you to your family." He told me, and turned to leave the room and paused with his hand on the doorknob. "I really am sorry, Jude." Chris said and I didn't respond as he left the room.

Kwest looked over at Sadie and Me and followed Chris out of the room. Sadie sat down on the edge of the bed, a worried expression on her face.

"I'm fine, Sadie." I told her and she didn't look too convinced.

"Chris!" I called out, walking quickly to try and catch up with the other man. Something inside of me screamed something was wrong. That things were not ok between Chris and Jude. And I wanted to know what it was.

Chris turned and saw me coming after him. He stopped and let me catch up, but his body language screamed this was a reluctant act.

"What's going on?" I asked him, not bothering with pleasantries.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked and I gave him a long look. I wasn't an idiot. Jude wasn't comfortable with Chris in the room. She wasn't as ok with whatever happened between the two of them than she was letting Sadie in on.

"Don't pretend like I'm stupid, Chris."

"It's like Jude said man, it's in the past."

"Then why did you feel the need to apologize?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

Personally, I hated Chris. He was a lot like Tom in some respects, but more…whiny? I think the word is. He always seemed like no one else had a care in the world and his life was shit. I didn't like that about him, but whatever. Everyone deals with life differently.

"Being polite." Chris offered and continued to walk down the hall. I sighed and followed him.

"Jude didn't seem too happy to see you."

"It's none of your business, Kwest." Chris spat.

"Jude's my friend," I countered. "And Sadie's my girlfriend."

"Good for you, Kwest." Chris snapped, and picked up his pace.

I sighed and let him go. Chris was stubborn. I wasn't going to get anything out of him that he didn't want to say. I turned around to head back to Sadie and Jude.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I froze in my tracks.

On second thought…

"I didn't know Tommy had a twin." Sadie stated, looking down at me with sympathetic green eyes.

"I didn't know that either." I said with a shrug. Silence fell over us and I shifted uncomfortably, knowing what was going to come from Sadie's mouth.

"Jude, what's going on?" Sadie asked me, her voice and eyes full of concern.

"Nothing, Sadie, I'm fine." I muttered, not wanting to tell her about Chris.

"Jude, you know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know, Sadie, I know." I said, feeling bad that Sadie thought I couldn't talk to her. It wasn't that it's just…how do I tell my sister I thought I was about to sleep with her ex? It just didn't sit with me.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I demanded. I stopped face-to-face with my brother, my eyes narrowed in anger. His cool gaze stared back at me and I wanted nothing more than to hit him then and there.

"I wanted to see if Jude was ok." Chris said, sounding sincere. I didn't let up. I didn't care if he had the purest intention or the order from the man upstairs, he wasn't getting near Jude if I could help it. I'd break his fingers, individually, if he laid one on her.

"You don't deserve that right." I spat and Chris winced.

"Tom, I know you're pissed, but"

"Oh, I'm past the point of pissed." I stated, not hiding the anger from my voice.

"Tom," I heard a calm voice say and that just annoyed me more.

"What?" I snapped, turning to see Kwest standing just to my left. When did Kwest get here? He wasn't standing there a second ago, was he?

"Just, let it go." Kwest said calmly. I narrowed my eyes further and turned my attention back to my brother. I felt sick just looking at him.

"You so much as _think_ about Jude, I'll rip you so far apart not even a microscope will be able to pick you up, you get me?"

"Tom-"

"Tom, I wanted to come here to"

"You fucking apologize to me and I'll break your fucking neck." I snapped. Chris visibly balked.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it roughly away.

"Tom, don't do this." Kwest said.

"You should listen to him, Tom." Chris said, and glanced just over my shoulder. "Lots of witnesses."

"It'll be worth it." I promised, oh yes it would be. I needed to see Chris broken and bloody to replace the image of him about to fuck the love of my life. That would be forever burned into my memory.

"What about Jude?" Kwest asked.

I growled low in my throat. I really wanted to continue what I started back at the house. I really wanted to hit him until he was begging. But Jude…I sighed.

"Forget the anger management training Tom?" Chris taunted and I continued to glare. Chris side-stepped me and left Kwest and me alone. I watched him go, restraining the urge to run after him and –

"What the hell was that about?" Kwest demanded. I unclenched my fists, painfully, and sighed.

"Sadie?"

"Yeah?"

"If I tell you, about what happened….don't hate me, ok?" I said, tentatively. Sadie pulled me into a hug.

"I couldn't ever really hate you." She told me, stroking my hair.

"You know about Celeste right?" I asked her and Sadie looked confused.

"Tommy's mom."

"Yeah, I heard." Sadie said, looking sympathetic. I sighed and started to tell the story.

I told her about Celeste's last couple of days, meeting Chris, and me and Tommy getting closer. I told her about how Tom ran off from the hospital, not to be heard from all day. I told her about how I stayed up, praying that he'd come home and when he walked into the door, I was so happy to see him ok that…things got out of hand. I told her, the short version, of ending up in the bedroom, shirtless, beneath him. About how I asked him to stop and that's when I realized who he was – when it was too late and Tommy walked in on us. I told her about how I ran outside in the snow after Tommy; about how we fought and made up. And how it ended up making me sick.

By the time I finished the story, I was crying and Sadie was comforting me.

"Jude, I'm so,"

"I hate him, Sadie." I said, my voice shaking as I talked through tears.

"You have a reason, Jude." Sadie said, smoothing my hair and trying to provide me with some comfort.

"And I know I shouldn't be so upset over this…I mean, it's not like he actually…you know, but…" I shook my head. "I still can't help but feel used and even though Tommy said he loves me, I can't keep thinking that he still hasn't gotten past it either."

"He's not mad at you, Jude, I'm sure of it."

"I know he's not mad…but I have to wonder, is he disappointed in me?" I asked, looking into Sadie's eyes. "I should have known the difference."

"Jude, I…" Sadie shook her head and pulled me back in for a hug. "If he loves you as much as I think he does, then there's no way he can blame you for this."

Sadie's words actually made me feel a bit better. Telling her took a weight off my chest and it also brought back reality. Tommy could barely look at me that night. He had been distant and closed off. And then I was here…I had to wonder, how would he react when we were back home. When we were away from the drama and the scare of my medical crisis, would he still love me? Would he still want to be with me?

"OK, spill it." Kwest demanded. I sighed.

"Kwest, I don't want to talk about it." I said, walking past him to go see Jude.

"Tom,"

"What?!" I snapped and spun around to face Kwest.

"You need to calm down man." Kwest told me and I shook my head. "You're radiating with anger and you know Jude is going to pick up on it." I sighed and clenched my jaw. "Look, let's walk a bit, ok? Burn off some energy." Kwest offered and I rolled my eyes in a 'whatever' gesture before following him down the hall.

We walked in silence for awhile and I seethed inwardly. I know I should have listened to Chris and at least considered an apology, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't listen to his excuses and attempt to forgive him. It was easier to be angry. It was easier than letting the betrayal sink in and pretending things were ok.

"You and Chris use to be close." Kwest said, tentatively.

"use to."

"What happened, man?" Kwest asked.

"I walked in on him about to fuck Jude." I stated and Kwest froze as I kept walking.

"What?!" Kwest yelled after me. I turned around and walked backward a couple steps until Kwest got his wits gathered and was able to catch up to me.

"You heard me."

"How the hell did that happen?" Kwest demanded and I shrugged. "Come on man, there had to be…" Kwest trailed off as realization hit him.

"You and Jude are closer than before…she though Chris was you." I felt my jaw clench as I remembered walking in on them that night. I remembered the look of horror in Jude's eyes. I remembered seeing Chris's hands going to the waist of her jeans to remove them. "When?"

"The night Mere died."

"Shit," Kwest said, shaking his head. "Man, I'm…"

"It's not your fault."

"Still…"

Silence stretched over us as we continued to walk. I tried to shove the memory to the back of my brain, but it was suddenly too hard to forget. It was too hard to remember the dead feeling I had when I saw them together. I remembered thinking that should be me.

But I owed it to Jude to forget it, to pretend it never happened. I had to forget those feelings and those images if I wished to continue my life with Jude. I knew it, but it was suddenly harder than I ever thought possible.


	37. Chapter 35

**A/N: **And another chapter down! I'm getting excited for how the progression of this fic is going. It's getting to some good stuff now and I can't wait to see what you guys think of it. I love your reviews, they all make me so happy and gearing to write more. I hope you guys like this chapter! OH! And sorry about last chapter, ff.n didn't keep my breaks and I didn't realize it until it was pointed out in another review. Sorry for any readability issues that caused.

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**Chapter 35**

Sadie and I sat in silence for I had no idea how long. She was feeling bad for me, I could tell it in the way she stroked my hair and her green eyes were glazed over with sympathy. She looked almost ready to cry. I didn't want my big sister to cry for me. I was ok, more or less. Just…I don't know. I can't explain it. Seeing Chris brought everything back. I had managed to forget and just reveal in my feelings for Tommy and finally take comfort in the fact that he loved me too. But then Chris had to come back.

Part of me hated him. Another part of me, a part I hated, understood him. See, Sadie and I had a relationship very similar to Chris and Tommy. Granted, different, but similar. She was always the best. She was the one mom and dad doted on. The one that got the praise all the time for all her accomplishments. For 15 years of my life, I was just…Jude. I understood the envy. I understood the hate and the pain it feels when your sibling is number one and you always come up short. But then, I won Instant Star and things changed. Now I'm the one that's more famous than Sadie. I don't know, I don't think she hates me for it, but I know she misses the spot light of being the best; or maybe that's my own thoughts on the subject – I really don't know for sure.

Part of me wants to forget Chris and move on. The other part wants to hate him for the rest of my life. I mean, it takes two to tango and I wasn't exactly saying no; even if he did take advantage of a situation. I sighed heavily. This is all so confusing. In the past, I would have run to Tommy for help; and I know that's not even possible now. I know he hates Chris for what he did. He wouldn't be able to give me that objective honesty he usually is able to supply me. Though I know I need to talk to him about it; the proverbial elephant has been placed back in the room. I just didn't know how to do it…speaking of Tommy, _where the hell did he go? He's been gone an offal long time_.

To answer my thought, the door to the room opened and Kwest came back, with Tommy in tow. Sadie's eyes narrowed, studying him as if trying to figure out if it was Tommy or Chris.

"Where've you been?" I asked him as he came over to stand next to the bed.

"I had to run some errands." He told me, and sighed. "I ran into Chris in the hallway." He stated, his eyes giving me a blank look and I felt chilled by it. His voice held no emotion and his face was completely blank. I knew that look well; it's the look Tommy puts up when he's feeling extremely emotional and he's trying to hide what he's feeling.

Sadie got up off the bed and walked over to Kwest. I noticed that the two instantly connected hands.

"We're going to um…go. So you two can talk." Sadie said, giving me a reassuring smile before leaving the room. The door clicked shut behind him and we were still silent.

"What did he want?" Tommy asked me, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture. As if he was trying to guard himself.

"To apologize." I told him, honestly. Tommy sighed and rolled his eyes. "And to ask me to forgive him." I said carefully and Tommy's gaze snapped back to mine, his eyes blazing for a moment before turning stoic again.

"Did you?"

"No."

"He doesn't deserve it." Tommy told me, his jaw clenching and I knew Chris was still a sore subject for him.

"What about you?"

"Hu?"

"You said you saw him." I stated, waiting for his reaction. Tommy sighed and collapsed down in the chair next to me. I sat up straighter and watched him. He dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I almost ripped his throat out." He told me honestly.

"Almost?"

"Kwest stopped me."

"Good." I said and he raised his eyes to meet mine. "I wouldn't want you to do something stupid." I told him honestly. Tommy sighed and shook his head. "Tommy, I know that"

"Jude…just don't." He told me, sounding tired all the sudden.

"We have to talk about it sometime." I stated, feeling put down that he didn't want to talk to me; to discuss this. To reassure me that he wasn't holding this against me still.

"Can we just…not? For now?" He said with a heavy sigh. I gave him a puzzled expression and he gave me a sad smile. "I just…you're recovering from being sick." He stated, sitting up and rolling his shoulders, as if trying to shrug off a weight. "I don't want to set you back by worrying about this."

"I am going to worry, Tommy." I told him, my voice coming out a whisper.

"I love you Jude," Tommy said, meeting my eyes, a soft looking coming through his blue orbs. "There's not much that can change that."

For some reason, the words didn't comfort me as much as I thought they would.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What's wrong?" Kwest asked me as we stepped outside. I didn't say anything, just pulled him into a hug and reveled in his embrace as he held me. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn't; he just held me and let me get myself together.

I sighed and pulled away after a long moment and looked into his eyes.

"Sadie, are you ok?" Kwest asked me, his chocolate eyes concerned as he looked into mine. I could feel my heart melt at the intensity of his gaze.

"I'm ok. It's just…Jude." I managed to say and I took a deep breathe. "She told me something disconcerting about Chris."

"yeah, I got it out of Tom too." Kwest stated and sighed. "Is Jude ok?"

"I think she's confused. I don't know. She seems like it but…I don't know." Kwest nodded in understanding. "What about Tom?"

"He's pissed; he nearly ripped Chris's head off earlier if I didn't stop him." Kwest stated and sighed. "It's weird…Tom and Chris were always closer. They drifted when he moved to Toronto, but they still talked occasionally. It was weird to see them at each other's throats."

"Yeah…" I said, still worrying about Jude. I turned my head to look through the window at my sister and her producer – my ex. He was sitting next to her and she was watching him with a hopeful look. I knew they were close; closer than two people could be. I always envied Jude. I had always wished Tommy would look at me the way he looked at Jude. But now…I don't want that.

I had Kwest, and while the relationship is still very new to us both…it feels right. I tore my gaze away from my sister and back at Kwest.

"Come on, let's go and leave them be." Kwest said, wrapping an arm around me and leading me down the hall. I rest my head against his shoulder and let him guide me, my thoughts centering around my sister and what I could do to make her feel better.

- - - - - - - -Later That Evening - - - - - - - - - - -

The nurses had let up on me slightly during the course of the day. Tommy had convinced me 15 minutes ago to go on a walk with him. I don't know why, but he wanted me out of the hospital room and I was too curious to fight him on it.

It felt good to be out of bed again, but we had to walk at a slower pace. I still had left over fluid in my lungs that, occasionally, made it hard to breathe and forced me to cough up some pretty gross stuff. It was better than before, but it was still there.

"So, what's going on?" I asked him, as we walked. Tommy glanced over at me with a smirk on his face.

"What ever are you talking about?" He asked in a way that sounded like the Cheshire Cat while he gloated to Alice in Disney's rendition of Alice in Wonderland.

"Tommy!" I groaned as I hit him lightly on the arm. The action resulted in a temporary loss of balance and his hands slid around my waist and pulled me to him as he caught me before I fell onto the floor.

"Whoa," He said, helping me steady myself.

"Sorry," I said, feeling embarrassed.

"Would have had a bit more effect if you wouldn't have toppled over," He stated, laughing slightly and I glared at him. "Not that, the point wasn't drove home." He added and I smiled at him, thankful for the teasing. It was almost…normal. It made me feel better about this morning. "Come on Tipsy, let's get you back to your room."

"Whatever happened to 'bright-eyes'?" I muttered and he just chuckled, and I could feel the vibrations in his chest as he did it. We headed back to my room, his arms around my waist, my body pressed into his side and I couldn't help but let my head lay against his shoulder. I was feeling tired and the feel of his body next to mine was comforting and familiar. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew he would never go for it in public.

Only a few months, Jude. I told myself with a heavy sigh. Only a few more….whoa! My thought was broken off as we entered my room. In the door way, I dropped my mouth in awe.

The lights were dimmed low and the hospital room was lit by soft white candles. On the bedside table were a vase of a dozen red roses and some other arrangement made to make the place look more romantic. I pulled away from him and went over to the table and bent down to smell the flowers. They smelt heavenly and perfect. Just like Tommy. I turned around to look at him, a big smile on my face.

Tommy stood in the doorway still, watching me, his hands in his pockets and a nervous look on his face.

"You did this?" I asked him, wanting to cry. It was so…so…

"Yeah," He said, tentatively. I smiled at him and crossed the room to stand before him. He watched me closely, as if trying to decide if I liked it or not. I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him, quickly and lovingly before rolling back on my heels and hugging him.

"It's so…perfect." I told him, tears coming to my eyes.

"I'm glad you like it." He told me, sounding relieved as his arms circled around me. He kissed the top of my head and sighed. "You deserve it."

I looked up at him, a slight frown on my face. Before I could press the issue, the door opened and a nurse came in with a tray of food. I groaned, not at all enjoying hospital food.

Tommy's arm dropped from around me and smiled at me as I groaned over the food.

"Ms. Harrison – "

"Yeah, I know." I said with a sigh and left Tommy's arms, reluctantly and got back in the bed. I saw Tommy slip the woman something and before I could question it, she handed me the tray and my mouth dropped when I saw what was on it.

"Is this what I think it is?" I asked, looking up at Tommy with pleading eyes.

"A Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, no pickle." He confirmed and I squealed before taking a bite of it. "Omg! I never thought it could taste so good!" I said, between a mouth full. Tommy laughed at me and sat down next to me. "Mmmmm, how'd you score this?!" I demanded.

"Lots of autographs." He stated, a dead pan expression and I laughed between bites, trying hard not to choke.

"Seriously, this is amazing!" I said, enjoying my burger. Tommy just watched me, a smile on his face that reached his eyes and I knew he was genuinely happy to see me so happy. It touched my heart to know I had that effect on him.

"I know you've been sick of the food, so I thought…"

"You'd find a Wendy's in the middle of nowhere?" Tommy shrugged.

"I have my ways."

"I love your ways." I told him as I took another bite and closed my eyes at the goodness that's a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. I opened my eyes and looked back over at him. "You remembered?" I asked him and he shrugged again, looking down away from my gaze.

"I remember everything when it comes to you." He said, his voice so intense that it made me want to cry.

I set my burger down a moment and reached for his hand. Tommy looked up at me as I pulled him closer to me. I kissed him on the cheek and pulled back to look into his eyes.

"I love you," I told him and he gave me a soft smile.

"I love you too." He told me, before leaning into me and kissing me, long and soft. It was the kind of kiss that was so soft and loving that it made you weak in the knees, your insides sing, and made it impossible to form a single thought. When we pulled back, we smiled at each other and he ruffled my hair. I glared at him and took another bite of my burger.


	38. Chapter 36

**A/N: **Hey guys! I know, I updated AGAIN! haha! I was inspired when I was at work earlier. I hope you guys enjoy this one. It's a bit shorter, but I like it. It needed to be done this way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'm glad you're liking the rest of the fic. I'm hoping to update BS tomorrow, but it depends on homework and such. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 36  
**2 Days Later **

I tossed a large, black duffle – the exact one that was a life saver on tour because of the bulkness - on my bed and began repacking my things. Jude was being released later today and, if it was signed off with doctor personality, we would be on a plane several hours later.

As I started folding my things, my mind flashed back to a conversation with Jude the night before.

"_You need to talk to him."_

"_I can't." I stated simply, looking up into Jude's eyes. _

"_Tommy, he's your brother. You love him." She stated, staring pointedly back into my eyes. I sighed. _

"_Not at the moment." Jude gave me an exasperated look and I had to look away from her gaze. _

"_Jude, I can't forgive him. Don't ask me to." _

"_I'm not." She told me, and reached out for my hand. "But I remember a certain producer who told me that you have to take care of what lasts." _

_I felt a bitter laugh escape my lips. Leave it to Jude to quote me. _

"_See, I listen." I raised my head and looked back into her eyes. "I may not act like it, but I do." _

"_Jude, I just…"_

"_I know, Tommy," She told me, caressing my hand. "I know. But I also know that if you don't make some kind of peace, it'll eat at you." _

I sighed in frustration and crammed the duffle full once again. As much as I hated to admit, Jude was right. But just the thought of Chris touching Jude made me want to hurl and kill him. Not necessarily in that order.

I let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling a moment, as if all the answers were there. Screw it. I turned on my heel and stalked out of my room. I hurried down the hall and entered another room.

"Tom?" Chris said, as he looked up from his computer and turned his attention on me. I sighed, and stepped into his room and leaned against the wall. "Look, I"

"Don't talk." I snapped and took a deep breath. "Just don't while I have some form of control." I told him and sighed. "Just, listen." Chris nodded, his eyes looking slightly fearful as he watched me carefully. Good.

I moved away from the wall and paced slightly as I talked.

"I hate you right now." I confessed, looking straight into his eyes before looking away again. "I look at you and I want nothing more than to rip you apart like you did to me that night." I stopped in my tracks and stared directly at him. "Don't you ever ask me to forgive you." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Because, you know what, I never will be able to." Chris hung his head and nodded a moment, breaking away from my gaze. "But you're my brother." I stated, all emotion leaving my voice. Chris looked back up. "You're a part of me and I'll always love you…no matter how badly I want to kill you."

"Tom-"

"Don't." I snapped, holding up a hand. "Don't. I know deep down that I do, but I still feel nothing except revulsion every time I look at you." I took a deep breath. "Maybe, one day, I can get past this…_we_ can get past this." I said, shrugging. "But right now, I need to hate you."

"OK." Chris said, sounding oddly at peace.

I nodded and turned around to head back out the door. I was in the doorjam when Chris stopped me.

"Tom?"

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me. Thank Jude." I stated before walking out of the room and leaving my brother to himself.

- - - - - -Later - - - - - - -

"So, I hear you talked to Chris earlier." Jude stated, walking into the room and sitting down on the bed next to me.

"Yeah."

"And you didn't kill him?"

"Nope." I said, looking down at the floor in front of me.

"Tommy, I"

"Jude,"

"No, let me finish." She said, turning and facing me. I sighed and looked up into her eyes, waiting for her to pull the words together. "I…I'm glad that you made amends with Chris."

"I didn't really. I still hate him."

"But you tried." She told me, taking my hand. "And you"

"I know what I said, Jude." I snapped, getting up and pacing the room. I saw Jude raise her hands and drop them down on the bed in a gesture of frustration. "Are we ever going to talk about this?" She asked.

"What is there to talk about?" I asked, stopping in mid-pace right before her.

"It's obvious that it bothers you still that"

"Chris took advantage of you." I finished.

"Tommy-"

"What's left to talk about Jude?" I demanded, pacing again. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't be taking this out on her, but damn it, I didn't want to talk about it. "Hu? Talk about how my mom died and you almost sleep with my brother?" I froze in mid-pace, suddenly, it hit me.

"Tommy?" Jude said, her voice shaking slightly as she watched me. I looked over at her and blinked. My God, Mere was dead and I practically forgot about it for…how many days was it? I felt…dead inside. Like a freight train just hit me at 200 kilometers.

"Tommy?" Jude said again, carefully. I tried to say something, but I couldn't. My vocal chords were tight and knotted together. Jude got up and took my hand and pulled me over to the bed. I followed her and sat down heavily. I could feel Jude's hands running down my back in a comforting gesture, but it didn't completely register.

"She's dead." I managed to say, and I could feel Jude's sympathy. She continued to rub my back and I dropped my head in my hands, feeling tears sting my eyes. How the hell had I managed to forget? I wondered.

"You didn't forget." I heard Jude say and I looked up and over my shoulder at her and realized I said the words out loud. "You had other things on your mind."

"I still shouldn't have forgotten, Jude." I said, my voice sounding strained. Jude didn't say anything, but she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her. I let myself feel comforted by her embrace and felt tears sting my eyes as it finally hit me once again. I felt her hands stroking my hair and her voice humming a sad-happy tune. I closed my eyes and let her comfort me, and remembered what a great woman Mere was.


	39. Chapter 37

**A/N: **Hey guys! Sorry it's been awhile but life got busy. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Also, I'm going to do up an update to BS this weekend. I just wanted to get this chapter to RB out of the way. It's kind of a bridge between two chapters. You'll see what I mean. I hope you like it and who can't wait for the next ep of IS tomorrow?! I thought so ;). Seriously, this season rocks, haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter and, as always, leave me love.

**Chapter 37**

19 hours later, we were back home – at Toronto Air International – jet lagged and feeling glad to be home. Tommy and I followed Sadie and Kwest out of the airport, both of us keeping our heads down and hoping not to be spotted. As we walked, I shot small glances at Tommy, trying to figure out what was going on in his head. I know that he loves me, but for some reason, it wasn't sitting well with me. He won't talk about Chris. I know that night still bothers him, yet he won't tell me anything about it. Anytime it comes up, he changes the subject and says the same thing: 'He took advantage of you'. What I don't know is, if he's trying to remind himself of that or if he's stating a fact.

I sighed as we walked, wanting nothing more than my bed. I was exhausted, and though I slept on the plane, I wanted nothing more than my bed – or any bed – and sleep for days.

"This might sound like a dumb question," I started to say as Sadie and Kwest stopped and turned around to face me and Tommy's expression turning slightly amused. "But how are we getting home?" I asked. I knew that I had Jamie drop me off here when I left, and I doubted Tommy left one of his many cars parked in the airport parking garage. I didn't know what Sadie and Kwest had done when they took off, but I knew Sadie wouldn't leave her much loved Volkswagen Beetle somewhere so…public and unprotected.

"Kwest drove." Sadie said simply. I nodded and I realized I had no idea what kind of car/truck/vehicle Kwest drove.

"I figured I'd drop everyone off at home." Kwest stated with a shrug.

"Don't worry about me; I'll crash at your place for the night." Tommy said, with a yawn.

"I'd feel bad making you drive all the way to our house." Sadie said, glancing over at me. "It's late and we live on the other side of town." I shrugged.

"As long as Kwest is ok with it." I said and we all looked at Kwest.

"Best Kwestern Inn, at your service." He said giving us all a smile and we left the airport and headed out to his car. The air in Toronto is now significantly colder than in Montana and I found myself huddling into my coat to keep warm as we walked to the parking garage. The icy wind seemed to go straight through my winter gear as we walked and I found my steps getting more and more sluggish. I was tired and I wasn't feeling the best. Though the doctors put me in the clear of anything major, I still felt as if I had a cold.

"You ok?" I heard Tommy ask me and I looked up at him. Wearing a lighter coat than me, hands deep in his pockets, he looked more at ease than I felt.

"Cold." I said, with a small sniff. He gave me a small smile and pulled his right hand out of his pocket and pulled me to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him.

It didn't help much against the chill, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I lay my head into the crook of his shoulder as we walked and closed my eyes, letting him lead me to the car.

------------------------------------

"Jude?"

I heard a voice say and I groaned. I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. I didn't want to get up. I'm tired. I want to sleep.

"Jude!" The voice said, forcibly.

"What?" I managed to say, my voice muffled by the pillow I had my face buried in.

"We gatta get going home."

Home? Wasn't I already home?

I opened my eyes and lifted my head, blinking my vision into focus. I looked over my shoulder and saw Sadie sitting on the other end of the bed, a small smile on her face.

"Where are we?"

"Kwests." She answered and I frowned, trying to remember how I got here. The last thing I remembered was Tommy putting his arm around me and…

"I fell asleep?"

"Yeah." Sadie said, reaching out and smoothing my hair. "We decided to let you sleep."

"What time is it?" I asked between a yawn as I untangled myself from the blankets and sat up.

"Around Noon." Sadie answered, getting up from the bed.

"I'll be out in a minute." I told her and she nodded before leaving the room. I sighed and tossed the blanket aside and got out of the large bed. I stood up and stretched before finding my duffle bag in the corner of the room. I pulled the first shirt and jeans I came across and quickly changed into them. I knelt down and dug through the contents to find a toothbrush and my hair brush before shoving my old clothes into the bag and zipping it shut.

I found the bathroom with minimal difficulty and finished getting ready. Once I was done in the bathroom, I put my brush and toothbrush away and went in search of Sadie. For living in an apartment, Kwest's was definitely of a good size.

I found Kwest and Sadie in the dining room, sitting at the table and talking.

"Hey," Kwest greeted when I stepped into the room.

"Hey," I said, pulling out a chair and sitting next to Sadie. "Where's Tommy?"

"He left a couple hours ago. He said something about going to talk to Darius and let him know we're all back." Kwest said with a shrug. I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me at the news.

"Do you have everything Jude? We gatta get home." Sadie asked me, and I nodded. All I had to do was get my bag and put on my shoes. "Do you mind giving us a lift?" Sadie asked Kwest and he nodded.

"It's no problem." He told us, giving Sadie a soft smile. I sighed and got up from my seat to go get my duffle. I didn't need to see Sadie and Kwest being couply.

--------------------------

"Jude, where have you been?!" Dad demanded. I barely put a foot in the door when He started. I set my duffle in the foyer and sighed.

"I told you-"

"I talked to Darius. Mason came home a week ago." Dad told me and I winced. Was it really that long that I had been gone? "Now, we'll try this again, where were you?" He demanded.

"I just…I had to get away."

"And you couldn't tell me where you went?!" Dad exploded. "What if something were to happen to you?!" He yelled, pacing the room. "I know about the pictures Jude. What if that sick pervert"

"Dad, I was with a friend." I told him, and that didn't seem to help matters.

"What friend, Jude? Where?" He asked.

"Montana."

"Montana?!" I winced. "Who do you know who lives in Montana?!"

"Dad," Sadie said, coming down the stairs.

"And where were you?!" Dad demanded, looking at her. Sadie crossed her arms over her chest.

"Look, one of my friends at the university has a cottage in Montana. When Jude said she had to get away for a bit, I asked if she could borrow it."

"And that's where you went?"

"I went to check on her."

"And you didn't tell me?"

Sadie shrugged. I had never seen Dad this mad. I didn't know what to say or what to do, but I was thankful Sadie was backing me up.

"Jude, you were gone, what three weeks?"

I nodded, not really sure how long.

"You're grounded for six." He stated, matter of factly.

"What?!"

"You go to school you go to the studio. That's it. No lunches out, no dinners with friends, no friends visiting, no phone, no nothing. The only time you touch your guitar is for working on a song for the studio. You got me?"

"Yes." I said, knowing It was better to go with it than to fight.

"Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again." Dad told me, his voice ice cold.

"I won't."

"Good." He told me before leaving me alone in the foyer. I sighed and bent to pick up my duffle.

"Jude, I"

"Thanks, Sadie." I told her, swinging it onto my shoulder. Sadie shrugged.

"That's what sisters are for."

I gave Sadie a small smile and walked up the stairs to my room. I let my duffle fall to the floor and my phone chirped from my pocket. I sighed and pulled it out, knowing a text was waiting for me.

I checked the message and smiled.

_Hey, you ok?_

Tommy.

I glanced at the door and quickly typed back: _Can't talk. Grounded_ and hit send.

I tossed my phone onto my bed and began to unpack my things, hoping this wouldn't get worst.


	40. Chapter 38

A/N: I know, I know, I know. I've been slacking and I deeply apologize. First I was working like a fiend to get instant-seduction up, then it was helping Jada with stuff with ISS and alexzjfan, and then it was modify I-S coding, and college homework got in the way and so did work…life is insane. I'm sorry I haven't gotten this up, it's been sitting in my notebook for a week or two waiting to be typed up and uploaded. I'm contemplating "hiring" a typist for me, LOL! I hand write, he/she types. Nah, seriously, the rough copies always suck. Um…any other excuses I got for not writing? Oh, right, I didn't feel like it? (ducks thrown objects). Today's going to be the day of updates. Once this is up, I'm going to work on Black Sunday. I'm hoping – crosses fingers – I can do another update to Running Back today or tomorrow as well. NO PROMISES!!!! Um…again, much apologies (yeah, not grammatically correct, but who cares, it's just my lame ramblings) about the delay and I'll TRY not to have such a long delay again. Who's happy for an update?! Without further ado…Chapter 38!

OH! BTW people! This chapter, was actually suppose to be 2 seperate chapters. Love me for making it longer? I hope so ;) As always, I look forward to your reviews!!!!!

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**Chapter 38**

"Jude!" Darius's booming voice yelled and I groaned. "My office!" He commanded before going back to talking to whichever stockholder of the day was gracing G Major Records with his presence. I sighed and lugged my guitar into D's office and sat down in my usual place across from his desk. All I wanted to do was rush into studio a and be with Tommy. This better not take too long.

Darius appeared a moment later, closing the huge door behind him and crossing the room to his desk in silence. He sat down in this chair and looked at me expectantly. I gulped.

"D, I"

"Jude?"

"Yeah D?"

"Next time you run off, tell your father the _real_ story." He stated sternly and I nodded before looking down at my lap. "Good." He stated and leaned forward, hands clasped before him on the desk. "Tom says you saw the tabloid pics?"

"Yeah." I said, looking up. I had actually forgotten about Damien and the pics. I closed my eyes. How could I have forgotten _that?_

"I want you to know, we're working on this Jude. I got people working around the clock." Darius's voice was sincere and I was thankful for it. "You hear from this guy"

"I tell you."

Darius smiled. "Now onto other business…" He leaned back in his chair, a bit more casual and less in my face. I was thankful for it and felt myself relaxing. "You and Tom do any work for your album while away?"

"I…well, we…wrote a song."

"Good. Record it." Darius said with a smile. I smiled in return and he waved a hand to signal I was dismissed.

I got out of my seat, grabbed my guitar and rushed out of D's office and towards Studio A, glad Darius didn't ream me out as well. I opened the door for the studio from the lobby entrance and frowned. The soundbooth and recording booths were both empty. I set my guitar against the wall and glanced around, feeling disappointment wash over me.

"Hey Jude!" I looked up and saw Kwest come in through the back.

"Hey," I greeted, disappointed it was Kwest and not Tommy. Kwest crossed the room and over to the boards and ejected a disk.

"Forgot this," he said, holding it up for me to see. "How you doing?" He asked.

"I'm…better. Where's Tommy?"

"Last time I saw him he was in his office." I raised an eyebrow. Tommy was _never_ in his office.

"I guess I'll go find him; Darius wants us to record."

Kwest nodded. "Well, I'll leave you to it. See ya later, Jude." Kwest said as he left the room.

I watched him go a moment and left the studio to go in search of Tommy. As Kwest had said, I found him in his office, attention to the computer screen infront of him. I knocked on the doorjam to alert him of my presence and entered the room. His eyes glanced over at me and then back to whatever it was he was working on.

"Hey," he said, his voice lacking any emotion, not missing a key as his fingers flew rapidly across the keyboard.

"Hey," I said, feeling disappointed at he lack of a greeting. I sat down across from him and sighed. Tommy finished whatever it was he was doing before turning to me, a small smile on his face.

"Sorry, paperwork." He told me and I couldn't help but smile back. "How's the grounding going?" he asked, eyes sympathetic.

"Six weeks." He winced. "No phone…no nothing. I go to studio, I go home."

"Harsh."

"Yeah." I said and added hopefully, "I'm hoping to get off early on good behavior?"

"Here's hoping," He said with a groan. "Did you see Darius, he told me to-"

"Yeah, he caught me on the way in, briefly lectured me and then demanded a new song."

"Sounds like D." He said with a sigh. "You got anything?"

"I was thinking we could record Running Back." I suggested and Tommy nodded.

"D would like it." I smiled at that, and Tommy winced and I was instantly confused.

"Sorry I didn't ask earlier, but how you feeling?" He asked, looking apologetic, like he felt bad he didn't remember to ask about it sooner.

"Everyone's been asking me that." I said with a sigh. Tommy looked like he was trying to think of something to say but I cut him off. "I feel good; almost back to normal and I only have two more days of drugs and I'm officially happy again." I said and Tommy nodded, looking relieved. "Mom" I added with a smile. Tommy scowled.

"You'd have one sick mother if she had the thoughts about you that I do." Tommy stated and I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I looked down at the floor, hoping he didn't see my blush.

I heard movement and knew Tommy was getting out of his chair. He knelt down next to me and placed his hand under my chin and forced my gaze up to meet his. He glanced over at the door and then back to me before adjusting himself and kissing me deeply. I was surprised but responded quickly. The kiss was incredibly short lived; just enough to satisfy the urge but leaving me wanting more.

"I've been wanting to do that all day." He said with a smile and I couldn't help but smile back. His smile disappeared and his face turned serious. Uh-ho. "We have to talk later." He said. I nodded and he stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and he pulled me up from my seat. "Let's go start album number three, Bright-Eyes." He said and I couldn't help but smile at the pet-name as we headed towards studio a, already discussing the song and arguing over the sound.

Hours Later, Tommy and I had finished recording Running Back and was burning a copy for Darius. I was laying on the couch in the back of the studio, suddenly tired from the long day. I felt my eyes grow heavy and I fought to keep them open.

Tommy turned around and looked at me, a soft smile on his face that made my insides melt. I loved that look, the soft eyes and smile, the look that he only gives me.

"Hey," I said, my voice sounding heavy and rough from being sleepy.

"Hey," he said with a laugh and I gave him a mock glare. "You gonna make it?" He asked, fighting his laughter.

"Maybe," I said letting my eyes droop close a moment before opening them again.

"Let's get this to Darius so we can get you home." He said, pulling the newly ejected disk out of the soundboard and writing the track info on it.

"I thought you wanted to talk." I said, feeling confused. He finished writing and tossed the marker off to the side.

"I do…I would just prefer you to be conscious for it." He said with a grin, obviously teasing me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'm ok." I muttered and yawned, not at all helping my argument. Tommy just raised an eyebrow.

"Right," He said and set the disk inside a case before turning around and looking at me again. He held up the CD as he talked. "I'm going to take this to Darius," I nodded in acknowledgement and he left the room. I sighed and sat up on the couch, which wasn't all that comfortable. Darius really needed to invest in a new couch. I was tired, but my curiosity over what Tommy wanted to talk about overruled.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, claiming it to be 8 in the evening. I had to be home by 11 or face the wrath of dad. I sighed and felt a wave of panic hit me. _What if Tommy changed his mind? What if…_ I felt tears sting my eyes and I took a deep breath. _Don't get worked up over nothing Jude_. I told myself, but it was hard. Given our history, there was a huge chance Tommy would back out and break my heart again.

I got up from the couch and started to pace the room, suddenly not tired anymore, my brain working overtime. _Don't jump to conclusions Jude_. I told myself, for all I know, he wants to talk about…_what if he's going to say he can't forgive me for what almost happened with Chris? _

I felt my heart clench with and tears welling in my eyes. I took a deep, shuttering breath and shook my head to clear it. I crossed the room and started putting my guitar away, needing to do something to get my racing thoughts under control. As I was setting the acoustic inside the case, Tommy returned and started shutting the boards down. I sighed and closed the claps on the case and stood up, seeing Tommy watching me, a look in his eyes that I couldn't read.

"You ready?" he asked, and I nodded, picking up my guitar but Tommy crossed the room in a couple long strides and took it from me. I wasn't about to object to him lugging the guitar around and we left G Major. As we crossed the parkinglot, I stopped walking and Tommy stopped, giving me a questioning look.

"Alright, out with it."

"What?"

"I just…I need to know what you want to talk about." I stated, taking a deep breath. "I'm worried."

"Jude, it's nothing bad." He insisted.

"Then why put it off and"

"Because it's not…well, it is, important, but not _that_ important." He stated, making me feel more and more confused than I already was. He sighed and set the guitar case down on the cement and took my hands in his. "We'll talk, I promise, but I don't want you to get into more trouble with your dad."

"Can you give me a hint?" I asked, and he smiled and gave my hands a light squeeze. "Think of it as a…clarification talk. OK?" He said, giving me my look and I nodded. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to know everything was ok with us.

"Are _we_ ok?" I asked tentatively and he nodded.

"We're fine." He insisted and I looked down from him a moment, feeling relieved. "I was worried." I said, looking back up into his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said, his voice soft and he let go of one of my hands and reached up to caress my cheek. "But you don't need to worry about that, ok?" He said, staring directly into my eyes and I felt myself growing lost in the intensity of his blue eyes. I just nodded and he smiled, bending down and kissing my cheek before stepping back and picking the guitar case back up.

"Come on, let's get you home before curfew." He said with a smile and a laugh and I couldn't help but smile as well. I couldn't help but replay his words over in my head _We're_ _fine…you don't need to worry about that_. No matter how relieved I felt, I knew a part of me would always worry.


	41. Chapter 39

A/N: haha, whodda thunkit? I updated four days later! whoot whoot! I know this is probably not what you're all waiting for, but honestly, I need to be clearer minded for it so it's being put on hold (For those of you who aren't reading this on ISS, I've been leaving "I'm Sick" as my excuse for the lack of updateage like I was suppose to do earlier...and it's true). FYI, check out Someone in Control - a new ficlet and be on the lookout for Black Sunday for it will be updated...sometime this week. I'm dead set on working on it while I'm on break at school. I really need to get that one rolling. On a pos note, I got a 90 in business law! whoot! (I thought I was doing like a 80) Um...OH! Happy Easter! Hope you like your present from muah!

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**Chapter 39**

It's been two days since Jude and I last seen each other and it was starting to get to me. I found myself watching the studio halls for signs of her and bugging the interns if Jude was in. I'm a man obsessed and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Her being grounded and her dad's no visitation, no cell phone rules were really beginning to wear on me and it's only been three full days since we've been back.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes as I stared at the computer screen for, watching the cursor blink, waiting for me to hit the appropriate keys to form my artist report for the month. I hated paperwork. I never had to do this with Georgia but I loved the music part of my job too much to quit…and Jude.

I sighed and clicked save on the document and stared thoughtfully at my cell. I had to figure out a way for Jude and me to be alone so we could talk about our relationship. I wanted to make sure we were both on the same page before something disastrous happened or some drastic misunderstanding would do us in. I frowned in deep concentration, trying to think up a good work-related excuse to get Jude out of her house for a couple hours that wouldn't raise suspicion with Stuart.

It's very easily done, let me tell you. I sighed and got up from my chair and left the quietness of my office and into the G Major kitchen.

"You look like you've been doing some serious thinking." Sadie stated, setting the coffee pot back on the stand and taking a drink out of her cup.

I just shrugged and stepped past her and opened the fridge, looking for an unopened bottle of water.

"Maybe I have."

"About?" She asked as I was digging through the fridge trying to search the back but having problems moving all the takeout boxes and sandwich items.

"Why are you so interested?" I asked, pulling out a water bottle triumphantly and closing the fridge.

"Can't make conversation?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and I just raised an eyebrow. Sadie and I may have called truce during the Montana fiasco, but I seriously doubt she's over the whole I cheated on her thing, which I didn't, but whatever. I untwisted the water bottle cap and took a drink. and looked at her expectantly. She sighed. "Fine." She shifted her weight and I knew I was in for it. "You and Jude."

"What about me and Jude?" I asked, glancing out of the corner of my eye to see if any nosy intern was lurking or Darius or someone else who wouldn't appreciate knowing about Jude and me. Sadie just gave me a long look and I sighed. "What do you want Sadie?" I asked, giving up on dancing around the inevitable.

"What did you say to her Monday night? She's been all mopey since."

"I just…I told her we needed to talk."

"About?"

"I told her it wasn't bad and not to worry about it."

Sadie gave me a look that clearly said I was stupid. I threw my hands up and walked away from the older Harrison. This was a 'lock ourselves in the studio so no one could hear us yelling' conversation. Sadie followed me, her heels clicking as she walked against the hard floor.

We entered studio a and shut the door. Sadie looked like she was ready to hit me.

"And you thought she wouldn't worry!!!" Sadie exploded.

"I"

"Seriously, Tommy, are you brain dead!?" She continued. I kept my mouth shut, knowing when it was best to argue and went to just nod and say yes. When it came to Sadie, it was worth you life to know when to do which.

"Sadie,"

"She's worried, Tommy!"

"Would you rather I talk about it to her in public and let everyone and their brother know we're trying to see each other?" I asked, surprisingly calm. Sadie opened her mouth to retort and closed it in irritation.

"You couldn't just wait to tell her that?"

"Maybe I should have…I don't know. But I've been trying to figure out how to get her away all day." I could see the wheels turning in Sadie's brain and sighed.

"If you promise not to break my little sister's heart, I'll help you get her away from Dad." She said, folding her arms over her chest and staring pointedly at me.

"I can try."

"Try hard." She snapped and I winced.

"I can't promise anything, Sadie. Nothing's definite. All I know is that I love her."

Sadie smiled and seemed satisfied with her answer.

"Alright, here's what we do," She said, and filled me in on her devious plan. For some reason, I think she already had this planned before she talked to me. She had each minor little detail worked out to the finest detail. Pretty much, she was going to call the house and tell Jude and Stuart that she was needed in the studio; a problem with the recording of Running Back. From there she'd get here when she could. When she showed up, we'd leave and Sadie would make an excuse for us while we were gone. Roughly, we figured Jude and I had two hours to get everything out and in the open. All we had to do now, is to execute.

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Being grounded sucks ass. It's official. Growing up, I would get weekend groundings for bad grades and have to spend the weekend studying. As bad as it sucked, it wasn't the complete boredom I was experiencing now. I literally had nothing to do. I have cleaned and re-cleaned my mom several times. I alphabetized the LPs four times, and reorganized my CD collection by genre and sub categorized by band or solo-artist. That's right, I was going crazy and would need to be locked up in a padded cell if I didn't get out of here soon. I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to work on a few songs, but I couldn't think straight. Nothing came to me and it made life suck even more.

The house phone rang and I sighed, knowing even if it was for me, Dad wouldn't let me answer it. I didn't know how I could get through another 5.5 weeks of this hell. My only hope is Dad will realize he was a bit harsh in his sentencing and lighten up a bit…maybe?

"Jude!" I heard him yell from downstairs. I got up off my bed and walked to the end of the stairs and yelled as I walked "What?!"

As I approached the bottom, Dad met me and I stood on the last step as he talked to me.

"That was Sadie. She says Darius needs you at the studio to fix a problem with the song you recorded last night."

"Problem?" I asked, with a frown. The recording went fine last night. What could be wrong with the song, I wondered.

"Sadie said it was all technical and she didn't understand it; only that Darius seemed adamant you were at the studio." He told me with a sigh.

"So…can I go?" I asked, feeling a bit of hope wash over me. Studio meant Tommy and…right, Tommy.

"You finish your chores earlier?" He asked me and I nodded. My chore list included washing dishes, doing laundry (mine…it tends to get backed up because I hate doing it), and vacuuming. "I don't see why you can't go. Don't be gone too late." He told me sternly and I tried hard not to smile.

"Thanks Dad." I said, walking past him to get my shoes by the front door and stuffing my feet into them.

"Jude?"

"Yeah?" I asked, looking up at him as I forced my left foot into my shoe.

"You didn't tell me about your new song." He said, looking kind of hurt.

"I just…forgot." I stated with a shrug. "I wrote it when I was…away and Darius wanted a song Monday so we recorded it." I stated. "I'll see if I can get a copy to bring home when we're done tonight," I told Dad, knowing he was hurt I didn't bring home a copy sooner.

Dad nodded but I could tell he was hurt I didn't say anything about a new song sooner.

"I'll see ya later?" I asked and Dad nodded. I smiled and left the house, grabbing my coat and pulling my keys out of it as I went, so thankful to be out of the house that I was going to kiss Darius's bald head when I saw him again.

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I walked into G Major and Sadie grabbed my arm and led me outside.

"Sadie, what?"

"Just…sh." Sadie said, leading me outside. What was going on? I wondered as she led me outside and to the back ally.

"OK, Sadie, what" I stopped talking when I saw Tommy leaning against the side of the building. He looked up at us and smiled.

"Hey," He greeted and I was very confused.

"Hi?"

"Thanks Sadie," Tommy said and Sadie shrugged and left us in the alley and me feeling extremely confused.

"But…the song.."

"Is fine." Tommy stated, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me to the back of the building. "Darius loved it."

"So this…"

"Is all a scam to get you to go out with me." Tommy said with a smile. I opened my mouth to say something and then closed it, not knowing what to say. "I know you're worried about the talk and I've been trying to figure out a way to get you alone so we could talk in private. Sadie helped me a bit with that."

"You and Sadie? Planned this?"

"Scary thought, hu?" He said with a laugh.

"So, where are we going?" I asked as he led me over to his Porche and opened the passenger door for me. I got into the passenger seat and looked up at him expectantly.

"You'll see." He responded cryptically before closing the door and moving around to the other side of the car.


	42. Chapter 40

A/N: Yay! I updated again! I hope you guys like the chapter, even if it is a bit...well, you'll see. As always, I look forward to your wonderful reviews. If all goes as planned...which often doesn't happen for me...Black Sunday will be updated tomorrow. It's a doosy of a chapter - if I remember right - so no direct promises. :D Don't kill me too much after this chap, K? Cuz...well, I'm the only one who knows what's gonna happen. Muahahahahaha! ;)

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**Chapter 40**

We drove through Toronto in silence. I kept glancing nervously over at Tommy and fidgeting in the leather seat next to him. I was deeply touched he went through the trouble to get me alone, but now…now I was worried about what this was all about. Tommy must have sensed my nervousness because he lifted his hand off the gear shift and took mine in his and gave it a squeeze, never taking his eyes off the road, before resting my hand beneath his on the shift.

I glanced down at our hands and couldn't help but smile, a bit of relief flooding over me. He wouldn't be affectionate if he was planning to break us apart…right?

Moments later, he pulled the Porche in a secluded area near the park, hidden enough by trees that the paparazzi would have to look long and hard to find us. We got out of the car in sync and walked close together, not close enough to draw suspicion, but close enough to be near each other. I followed him across the street to the pier and felt a smile grow on my face, remembering the last time we were here. The place I fell in love with him.

"What?" Tommy asked me, breaking our silence. He was looking over at me and I met his eyes, not losing my smile.

"Just remembering the last time we were here." I told him and he smiled in return. "It's where I fell in love with you." I told him and he looked mildly surprised at the statement.

"And here I thought it was love at first sight," He said sarcastically and I hit him playfully as he laughed.

"So did the tabloids," I muttered and he raised an eyebrow in question. I gaped at him. "You didn't see the article?!" I demanded. He grinned sheepishly.

"Do I want to?"

"Probably not," I muttered, remembering how my parents reacted. I shuddered.

"Remind me to look that up later."

"I'll do you one better and bring to the studio." I told him and he laughed. "I can't believe you didn't see it!"

Tommy shrugged. "I don't pay attention to the tabloids. If I did, I'd never have time for anything else."

"True," I said with a sigh, and Tommy just laughed. I started to remember the picture that was featured with the article and what had happened just before it; how Tommy had proved he wasn't just some pop boy band diva, but a real musician with actual depth. "I'm glad I was wrong about you," I told him suddenly and his laughter stopped and he stopped walking and turned to face me. I had to admit, he picked a good place for us to come. The sound of the waves crashing and boats going by was loud enough to not allow anyone to hear us from a distance, allowing privacy without being obvious about it.

"Me too." He said, his eyes soft and loving and it took everything I had not to throw my arms around him and kiss him. Tommy broke my gaze and sighed.

"Uh-ho." I couldn't help but say, feeling dread coming over me, knowing he was going to talk about what he brought me here to talk about.

"Jude, I…" He paused and glanced around, probably to make sure no one else was listening and it made me feel slightly put off; that he couldn't say what he wanted with others around. "You know I care about you." He said, his voice full of emotion and eyes giving me what I had dubbed, my look. "A lot." He added with a small smile.

"Yeah," I said, feeling nervous.

"It just…I don't want other people to come between us." He said, looking nervous, like he wasn't sure how I was going to react. "I think we should…keep us to…us; for now. Give us time to adjust before announcing it to everyone else."

"That's it?" I asked. Tommy nodded and I laughed, feeling foolish for thinking so badly.

"Not the reaction I was hoping for…"

"I'm sorry it's just…" Tommy's eyes instantly looked regretful and I knew he got the message. "Hey, I agree." I told him, looking into his eyes. "I want us to last and I think it's good to keep us quiet until we can figure it out for ourselves."

Tommy gave me a grateful smile and we started walking along the pier again. We were silent for a long moment, walking almost shoulder to shoulder and I wanted to lay my head on his and wrap an arm around him but I knew I couldn't. We couldn't risk being caught.

"Adele called me last night." Tommy stated suddenly and I looked over at him, surprised.

"What'd she want?"

"To discuss Mom's funeral." He said, his voice flat, but his eyes reflected the pain he was feeling. I reached over and touched his arm and he gave me a small smile.

"She uh…I guess she carried out Mom's wishes already and wants to have a memorial service. She wanted to know if I could make it in by Saturday."

"Are you?" I asked, feeling a bit disappointed that he was leaving and angry at myself for feeling disappointment.

"I talked to D already, he's giving me Friday and Saturday off. I'll be back Sunday night."

"You're not going to stay longer?" I asked, feeling surprised he wouldn't at least stay through the weekend.

"I don't know if I can make it through the weekend without strangling Chris." He told me honestly and I felt guilt wash over me. We never really talked about that night before. Every time I brought it up, Tommy clamped up and changed the subject or got angry with me. I know he's hurt over what I almost did with Chris and part of me believed it would always be this dark cloud hovering over our relationship if we didn't talk about it.

"Tommy, I'm"

"Jude, don't hash it." He said tiredly.

"You brought it up." I pointed out and he sighed and I saw the muscles in his jaw tighten. "Tommy, we need to clear the air about this."

"It happened. It's done. It's over with." He stated slowly, giving me a pointed look.

"I know it bothers you, Tommy."

"And it bothers you that I dated Sadie." He said flatly and I stopped walking and he stopped a step after me, turning around to face me.

"And I'm over it. You're not over what happened with Chris."

"I never slept with Sadie!"

"I didn't have sex with Chris!" I yelled back.

"You would have."

"Cuz I thought he was you!"

Tommy's eyes narrowed considerably and I threw my arms up in exasperation.

"You know what? Fine. Whatever." I turned on my heel and stormed away.

"Jude!" Tommy yelled and I turned around and walked backward a couple steps, Tommy following me.

"What?!" I snapped before spinning around again and continuing on my way.

"Where are you going?" He asked tiredly, still just behind me.

"Away from you." I shot over my shoulder and stormed away from him, more irritated than anything.

I know it's stupid that it bothers me so much, but damn it, why can't he talk about what happened with Chris without yelling and screaming at me. I wanted him to talk to me, not berate me and judge me for my mistake. I felt tears sting my eyes as I hurried away from him.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it away and turned around, a couple stray tears falling down my face.

"Jude, I'm sorry." He said, not looking like he meant it.

"Not as sorry as I am." I told him. Tommy stared helplessly at me and I turned and ran away from the pier and from Tommy. I couldn't deal with him right now. I needed to be alone and I think maybe he needed the space as well. I left the park and crossed the street, heading back towards G Major, unaware I was being followed.


	43. Chapter 41

**A/N: **OK guys, you all owe one big huge thank you to JudeRockGoddess who's review made me go "aaaawwwwwww!" for about 20 minutes and made me go 'I should really revise chapter 41 that's been done for a week and a half' (I wrote it the same night I posted 40…heh). So, I casted away all thoughts of immigration (blah) and twearked around with this a bit. So….JudeRockGoddess, I guess this one goes to you! And to all the other reviewers who love the fic and beg for updates, but hers was the last one I saw and made me pull up the word doc, so hence the personal shoutout. … Oh, I'm back in my love/hate with Instant Star (the show). Love it to death, but aspects coughJadecough are starting to make me irked. Anywho…this chapter is relatively short…not much longer than the A/N (kidding…I think) and kind of a bridge … again, it just keeps falling that way in all my fics lately, and I promise more drama to come once I suffer through this week in school. 2 more weeks of classes! Only one freaking final (and two essays, one of which is due Monday…hence Immigration). Anyway, stop reading my ramblings, I really don't know where/why I bother with the ramblings….but go read the fic!!!!!!!!

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**Chapter 41  
****Two Days Later**

I hadn't seen Tommy since I left him at the pier two days ago. During that time, he'd called and apologized a couple times to my voice mail, but I wasn't allowed to call him back. Sadie and I managed to keep Dad in the dark about my Wednesday afternoon rendezvous. Tommy left for Montana around 9am this morning and I knew I wouldn't be hearing from him until Monday morning when D had us booked for studio time. I was disappointed we weren't able to talk and clear the air after our fight on Wednesday. Unfortunately, I couldn't talk to him without breaking Dad's rules. I had made it almost a week; five more to go and I'd be free again. So now, here I am, at the studio, alone, per Darius's request. My presence was required to work on lyrics for a new song so Tommy and I could tweak it on Monday. Easy right?

Wrong!

I had been sitting in the empty studio, trying to write something, anything all day, but I kept thinking back to the pier and how we left things. I hated it when we fought. I hated it when I got angry with him and vice versa. I hated it when we were just plain Tommy and Jude. It was a thousand times worst now that we were together. He just…irritates me so much and at the same time, I need him like a blind person needs a leader dog. Or…something like that.

I groaned in frustration, completely blocked. I can't even think of a damn good analogy for me and Tommy, let alone come up with a song! I normally could channel any emotion into a song. It didn't matter if it was good or bad, I'd at least have _something_ accomplished. But today…I couldn't do it. My brain was too scattered and I couldn't concentrate on what I needed to do. My brain would only circle back to the pier and our argument. I shouldn't have left like I did, but he was just so…so…gr!

I took a deep breath to calm myself down and I picked up my pen and journal and started writing what came to mind, hoping I could turn little phrases into a verse or a chorus or anything useful. Once I was finished, I looked down at what I wrote and started rearranging what I wrote and crossing things out and changing things around.

_Can't seem to get you off my mind  
__Keep thinking about you  
__Keep thinking about me  
__Keep on thinking about us_

_Does it have to be so hard?  
__How do you always seem to get to me?  
__Why do I need you so?  
__Why can't I get you out of my head?_

Not too bad, I thought to myself with a frown. Not the best, but it was a start anyway. I tapped my pen against the paper in thought, trying to get more to come out but it just wasn't coming.

I shut the journal and sighed. It was no use forcing it; I wasn't going to get anything else done tonight. I picked up my guitar and stood up, carrying it over to the case leaning up against the wall. I kneeled down and put the guitar in it and heard the chirping of my cell. It wasn't an assigned ringtone, which meant it wasn't a friend, family, or Tommy.

I sighed and crossed the room and glanced at the caller id screen, not recognizing the number. Figuring it to be a wrong number, I answered it with an exasperated hello.

"Hey Beautiful." A familiar voice said and I felt my blood run cold and my heart stopped beating for a moment.

"Damien?"

"You forget about me, Jude?" He asked, tisking. "That's not a way to treat an old friend."

"What do you want?" I demanded, finding my voice and getting over my shock. Damien just laughed a cold and chilling laugh.

"You'll find out soon enough, Beautiful." For some reason, when he called me Beautiful, it made me feel dirty. Like something that lived and died on the bathroom floor of The Chain twenty years ago.

"You released the pictures; you got your money, what more do you want?" I asked, wanting this whole thing to be over. I really did not need any more drama in my life. Seriously, Tommy and just being me accomplished that enough, thank you very much.

"Jude, Jude, Jude…you'll be finding out soon enough." He said, his voice sounding eerily happy.

"Why don't you tell me now? Get it over with?"

"Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." He said and I resisted the urge to vomit. What more could he want? What more could he be planning?

"I don't like surprises." I said, not able to keep the comment back. Damien just laughed his cold, menacing laugh.

"Later Beautiful. Don't forget about me," He said, almost like how one would talk to a small child and the line went dead.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it a moment before closing it and ending the call on my end. I looked around the studio, suddenly not feeling safe in my home away from home. I suddenly felt cold and shivered as I wrapped my arms around myself. I heard a noise in the back of the building and I jumped, feeling startled and scared. I quickly went over to my guitar and closed it up, tense and ready for anything. I decided to just leave it here instead of lugging it home; I didn't want the weight of it to weigh me down if something happened, and locked it up in Tommy's office, eyes sweeping the near-empty building as I moved through it. Once the guitar was safely locked away, I grabbed my keys and rushed out of there.

In the parking lot, I kept looking over my shoulder, expecting something…or someone, to jump out of the shadows. I didn't know what Damien was planning, but something told me it wasn't good. I made it to my car and unlocked the door. I quickly got inside and locked the doors before putting the key in the ignition and turning the engine over until it roared to life. I put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot, feeling extremely paranoid, like I was being watched the whole time. The only thought crossing my mind was _I wish Tommy was here._

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_Final A/N: _Cuz I'm too lazy to scroll...Guess who updated on her 8 month anniversary last chapter? That's right, I've been working on this sucker for over 8 months (cuz I would have initially thought out the idea and such...). I feel like...wow when I realized it (after I updated of course). I'm surprised no one else noticed it!


	44. Chapter 42

**A/N: **I officially L-O-V-E this chapter! Sorry it's been so long since an update, but I've been busy. Life is crazy. I hope you guys like the chapter…though I know you'll be demanding updates. HAHA! OH! Happy belated b-day to JudeRockGoddess! A bit late, but yesterday was too hectic to update on. haha. I did try, but my brain, as well as my hands, arms, and face, was fried from being outside for 5 hours at my sister's college graduation. It actually hurts to type!!!!!!

**

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Chapter 42**

"Jude, you know I wouldn't let anything happen to you, right?" Darius asked me. He was leaned forward on his desk, hands folded before him, eyes soft and questioning. I shifted in my seat and sighed.

"Yeah, D. I know, it's just…"

"This guy needs to be caught." Darius finished.

"Yes!"

"I'm working on it." Darius told me, his voice firm. I looked away from Darius and at the floor.

"D, I don't feel…I don't know. I'm scared." I told him, feeling tears sting my eyes. Damien's last call has left me shaken. I'm constantly watching my back when I'm out and everytime I hear a phone ring, I nearly jump out of my skin.

"I promise, Jude, this Damien kid, he won't do anything to you. I've got people working on this round the clock"

"So why isn't he caught, yet?!" I demanded, my voice rising. I know it's wrong to yell at the boss. To yell at Darius, but damn it, I was scared. This guy has been causing me problems for more than a month. I was sick of it. I wanted this guy gone and I wanted to move on with my life without having to worry about Damien and his 'surprise'.

"Jude, these things take time."

"I might not have time." I muttered, looking down at my hands which were clamped together on my lap.

"Jude," Darius said, his voice soft and comforting. I looked up at him and he continued. "I won't let this guy get you." He stated and I nodded, not feeling that secure. "You want a bodyguard?" Darius asked and I snapped my head up to look at him in confusion. "You said you feel scared, would a bodyguard help you feel better? I'll hire one, best in the biz if it helps keep my number one artist happy."

"Darius, I don't want a bodyguard. I'm not that kind of girl. I just…I want this guy taken care of." I told him and Darius nodded his understanding.

"I'll make some calls. I'll see what I can do, alright? We'll get this guy, Jude. Don't worry about it. That's my job." He told me with a smile and I felt the beginnings of one come to my face. "You got anything to work on?" Darius asked me and I nodded.

"I've been working on some lyrics."

"You wanna use the studio for a bit? Studio A's open all morning if you want to work." Darius told me and I gave him a thankful smile. Just what I needed to get my mind off of Damien, work.

"Thanks D."

"Your welcome."

I left Darius's office, feeling a little better and crossed to Studio A. I opened the studio and shut the door behind me, the noise from the reception desk and hospitality instantly blocked out. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, let it out slowly and reopened my eyes again. I'd feel a lot better when Tommy was home tomorrow evening, but until then, I had to get working on this song so we had something to work with on Monday.

A couple hours later, I was working on a beat with my acoustic and Sadie came into the room. I stopped playing and looked up at her in question.

"Can you do me a favor?" Sadie asked, sitting next to me.

"Um…I guess."

"I keep forgetting to take my car across the street to get some work done on it. That rattling noise is getting worst. I called and they said they could look at it this afternoon. Can you drive it over there and I'll pick it up on my way home tonight?" Sadie asked, giving me a pleading look.

"Sure Sades." I answered with a shrug. I owed her for covering my ass about Montana and Tommy to Dad. The least I could do was drive her stupid car across the street to the repair shop.

"Thanks, Jude." Sadie said, giving me a smile and a hug. I hugged her back and Sadie handed me her keys. I set my guitar down and got up off my stool.

"I'll be back." I told her and she nodded, following me out of the studio and heading back to the desk where the phones were ringing.

I went out to the back parking lot and found Sadie's car. I unlocked it and put the key in the ignition, wincing at the terrible sound coming from it. It was about time Sadie took the thing in to get fixed. It's been sounding like a dying cat for a couple days.

I pulled the car out of the parking lot and drove it down a block and across the street to the car repair shop. I checked it in with the mechanics and let them know Sadie would be back to pick it up later. I left the place and crossed the street to head back to G Major with no incident.

I was about to go in through the front when I heard a noise coming from the alley. I stopped and looked toward it, a frown on my face. Curiosity got the better of me and I rounded the corner, peering down the seemingly abandoned alley.

"Hello?" I called, stepping into it, and looking around. Something told me to leave, to get away, but I ignored the paranoia and kept looking, trying to figure out where the sound had come from.

"Hello, Jude." I heard someone say from behind me. I jumped, startled and spun around.

"Damien." I felt my heart race and my breathe catch in my throat. Damien wore a sly smile as he approached me. "What are you doing here?" I asked, taking a couple steps back.

"To see you, Jude." He told me, a smile on his face. "It's been awhile." Not long enough, I thought as I took another couple steps back.

"Look, Damien, just" I was cut off when I stepped on something slippery and fell backwards. I landed flat on my back, breath knocked out of me. Pain shot up my spin and I wanted to cry out, but I couldn't. I couldn't even breathe.

Damien kneeled down next to me, tisking. "You should be more careful, Jude." He told me as I managed to breathe again. He touched my shoulder and I reached up and smacked it away.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I managed to say between gasping breaths. Damien just laughed, deep in his throat and I sat up, biting back tears as my back protested the movement. I had to get away from him.

"Jude," He said, his voice sing-song as I struggled to my feet. "Don't you know that you're mine?"

"I'm no one's property." I spat and walked away from him, my legs feeling weak. All I had to do was make it out of the alley and onto the crowded street.

"I don't think so, Babe." Damien said, coming after me.

I forced myself to run, trying hard to keep myself upright and to breathe. I could hear Damien's steps right behind me and then his arm around my waist and my feet coming off the ground.

"HELmmmph" Damien's hand clamped over my mouth and held me close to him. I struggled against him but he continued to carry me. I kicked his legs and tried to throw him off balance, but my efforts were in vain. He was stronger than I was and I still hadn't recovered from the fall. "Stop struggling," Damien's voice whispered into my ear. Like hell. "Or…" his voice trailed off and he stopped, set me down on my feet. The hand that was around my waist pulled me even closer as he pulled something out of his pocket. I felt sick, being pressed so close to him. I tried to struggle, but it was even harder. "else." Damien finished and I heard the sound of a switch blade opening.

I stopped struggling and closed my eyes, feeling tears burn my eyes.

"Good girl." He told me, reaching up and smoothing my hair. "Don't scream, don't run, or I'll kill you," Damien said, his hand coming away from my mouth. "And if you somehow manage to get away…well, your sister, Sadie, is it"

"Leave her alone." I said, my voice surprisingly strong. I could feel tears threatening to fall as Damien grabbed my arm, roughly and led me down the alley, away from the street and towards a car he had parked at the end of it. Stupid, I scolded myself. I hadn't seen it before.

"Get in." Damien told me as he opened the back door. I did as he said and the door closed. I didn't even bother to try the door. I knew he was probably smart enough to engage the child safety locks. The front door opened and Damien got in.

"If it's money you want, I can get it." I told him. "I just…I need time."

Damien looked up at me in the rear view and smiled. "You think it's just about money?" He asked me with a laugh. He shook his head and started the car. I felt a couple tears fall down my cheeks as he pulled away from G Major.

What did he want? I wondered. How was I going to get out of this?


	45. Chapter 43

**A/N:** I am in love with this chapter. I think you guys will like how it goes. :D Who's all excited for the finale?! All we need now is the soundtrack!!!! Anywho, I hope you guys like this chapter. :D I'm so proud of it.

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**Chapter 43  
****Two Days Later**

"Tommy!" I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see Sadie rushing over to me. I blinked and stared as she hurried across the room to me. "Is Jude with you?" She asked me and I frowned.

"No." I answered, my voice coming out hoarse. I winced at the sound and blinked a couple times to wake myself up. I was supposed to have an evening flight but it got delayed until 3 am. I probably got an hour or two of sleep before landing at Toronto International and was already late for a meeting at G Major with Darius. "I haven't seen Jude since Wednesday."

"Tommy, Please. I won't tell our Dad on her or anything, I just want to make sure she's ok." Sadie said, her eyes pleading with me.

I stared at her a moment, trying to figure out what was going on. Jude wasn't with me. I hadn't seen her since I told her I was leaving and we fought over Chris. If Sadie didn't know where she was...I felt my heart sink.

"Sadie, I swear, I haven't seen her." I told her and Sadie closed her eyes, taking what I said. "When's the last time you saw her?" I asked, trying hard not to panic. Jude's ok. I told myself.

"Saturday. I asked her to run my car across the street to the repair shop and she went and I never saw her come back. My car got there…oh god." Sadie said, looking pale and like she was going to cry. "What if something"

"Don't think like that." I told her quickly. She has to be. "She's probably just…out with Patsy or something." I told her and Sadie nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Maybe…It's just…she doesn't do this. I really thought she was with you."

"I wish she was, but she's not." I told Sadie and I sighed. "Jude's smart. She'll be fine." I told Sadie again and she nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, no one can keep Jude away from the studio." She said with a slight laugh. I found myself smiling in response.

Sadie went back over to the desk and I frowned as I watched her go. This wasn't like Jude to just go and run off without telling anyone. I pulled my cell out of my pocket as I went to put my stuff in my office before seeing Darius. I pressed and held the number 1 and held the phone to my shoulder as it rang so I could unlock the door.

The voicemail turned on as I got my door opened and I sighed.

"Hey Girl, I hear you haven't been around in a couple days. Sadie's freaking and…I am too. I know we didn't leave things good and I want to make it up to you, ok? Just give us a call and let us know you're ok." I sighed. I sound pathetic but I was worried and this wasn't like Jude at all. "I guess I'll see ya later today. I love you." I snapped the phone shut and took a deep breath. She's fine. I told myself again, trying to keep my worry down to a manageable level.

"You're worried about nothing, man." I muttered to myself as I tossed my keys in a desk drawer and put my phone back in my pocket. "Jude's fine." No matter how many times I kept telling myself that, I couldn't shake this feeling that something was wrong. Maybe I was being paranoid, but something about this whole thing seemed off to me. Jude doesn't just go off and not say anything; even when she ran off to Montana she told Sadie and Jamie where she was going and let everyone else know she'd be gone.

I took a deep breath and shook my head to clear it. Stop worrying about nothing Quincy. I told myself and left the office and headed towards D's office to get whatever it was he needed to see me about out of the way so I was clear the rest of the day to work on Jude's album.

I rounded the corner to D's office and knocked on the doorjam as I entered the room. Darius sat at his desk, phone to his ear. I stood in the doorway but Darius waved me in.

"…that wasn't the deal." Darius said into the phone. He gave me the universal sign for one minute by raising his index finger in my direction before turning his full attention back to the phone. I didn't want to intrude on the conversation and stepped into the room a bit and stared at the platinum album plagues on Darius's wall behind me. "I don't pay you to keep people out of the way." Darius said, his voice sounding angrier and I frowned at his words. Keep people out of the way? "…just let her go." Darius said finally and slammed the phone down. The sudden noise startled me and I spun around to face my boss.

"What was that about?" I asked, staring at the phone and then back up at Darius.

"Bad business deal." He stated and I frowned, waiting for Darius to elaborate. He didn't. "Sit, T." Darius instructed and I stared at him a long moment before walking over to a chair before his desk, my mind reeling. Let her Go…keep people out of the way… Something was wrong here. My instincts were practically screaming and I couldn't figure out what it was.

"How'd the service go?" Darius asked me and I snapped myself out of my thoughts and forced myself to pay attention to Darius.

"It was fine. Adelle planned everything perfectly."

"That's good." Darius told me. "I've got you and Jude booked for the afternoon; I've had her working on some new material for you to sort through and possibly record today. We need to get a single out." I nodded in understanding.

"Have you heard from Jude?" I blurted out, watching his eyes. I don't know exactly why I asked it, but it seemed like Darius knew something. Silence stretched between us and Darius didn't meet my gaze for a long moment. Darius didn't avoid gazes. There was something going on here.

"Not since Saturday. She was in the studio working on a song." Darius told me, matter of factly. "Why?"

"Sadie says she's been missing since Saturday." I stated and Darius didn't say anything. He didn't seem concerned or panicked. Just…Darius.

"She's run off before." Darius stated with a shrug. I watched him a long moment. Darius did not take things like this lightly. Not usually. Hell, I went AWOL for an hour when I 'stole' the limo and the man's head practically exploded. Jude's been missing for a day and he's just peachy with it?

"D, that was"

"She skipped her own album release party. She ran off to Montana. She probably ran off to do whatever this weekend." Darius stated, his voice sounding strained; almost nervous.

"You know something." I stated and Darius's jaw clenched. "D, what do you know about Jude?"

"Stay out of it, T." Darius told me. "I'm handling it."

"_That wasn't the deal"_ rang through my head and realization hit me.

"You hired someone." I stated, started to feel sick. "You hired someone to do…what, exactly?" Darius didn't say anything and I felt the wheels in my brain turning, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together. It all had to make sense. It all had to fit together, but how. Jude disappearing, Darius's phone call, a deal… "That kid, with the pictures…you paid him." I wasn't that certain until I saw the look in Darius's eyes. It was a stretch, even for me to make, but oh my god. I realized, staring at my boss and, I thought, friend with total distaste. "You paid that kid to take the pictures, to scare Jude a bit to stalk her and what…he got out of hand, D? Hu?!"

"Drop it, T." Darius said, full warning in his voice.

"You sick son of a bitch!" I yelled, furious. Jude was missing and it was Darius's fault. I got up out of my chair and couldn't figure out if I was going to hit him or leave.

"Tom, it's not what you think."

"Oh, then what is it, hu D? Cuz it sure seems like it to me."

"Yes, I hired Damien to take the pictures."

"Why?" I spat.

"Her first album, it tanked. Jude's clean. It's fine, I like her, I have no problem against her, but a clean artist doesn't sell. I needed a scandal and Jude isn't going to get herself into one. I paid that intern at Solid to follow her around for a couple days, take some pictures."

"This is a whole new low, even for you." I said, feeling sick and disgusted. Jude trusted Darius. _I_ had begun to trust Darius again.

"He was only supposed to take the pics, leak a couple to a tabloid and that be the end of it." Darius stated.

"Just to sell more records?"

"And keep Jude under control."

"Excuse me?"

"You were always the best way to get Jude to see the ways of the industry. With you gone, T, I needed a way to keep her in line."

"So you deal with the black mail and she does what you say." I filled in, shaking my head. As much as I wanted to say I couldn't believe it, I could. As sick and twisted as this is, it wasn't past Darius Mills. Anything for a buck, that's his motto.

"Damien got a little out of my control. Started demanding more money."

"And you wouldn't give it to him." Darius didn't say anything and I let everything absorb. "So he kidnapped Jude, to get the money." Darius nodded and I shook my head. "And you're still not gonna give it to him." Darius didn't say anything and I stared at the man in disgust, trying to figure out how I fell into the trap of trusting him again. Me of all people should have known better. I fucking knew Darius would pull something like this. It's the whole damn reason I stayed when Georgia went completely in the red and Darius bought G Major out from under her. Someone needed to keep Darius in line. Someone needed to be there to protect Jude from…I shook my head. Not even I would have thought Darius Mills would sink that low. I didn't see it coming. I got played for the sucker and Jude paid the price for it. I turned on my heel and left the office before I said or did anything I would regret later. I couldn't look at Darius anymore. The mere thought of him made me want to throw my fist in his face and not stop. Not even the notion of going back to jail was enough to stop the impulse; it would be well worth it.

I was angry. I was beyond angry and I felt like I had been played for the sucker yet again. But one thing has changed since the last time I went toe-to-toe with Darius. I'm not the naïve teenager anymore. And I'm sure as hell not going to sit back and wait for Darius to 'fix' everything. I may not have finished junior high, but I'm not stupid. It's not like I don't have my own connections. I know how people like Damien think; after all, it takes a criminal to know one.


	46. Chapter 44

**A/N: **OMG, so who all hated the freaking season finale? Nevermind, everyone thinks it sucked here. OK, so this chapter took a bit longer than I planned to get up. Sorry guys. Life keeps happening and now I'm back starting Summer school, woo hoo! (note: sarcasim) my accounting prof today just said we should devote 2 hours for every hour we meet in class studying. OK, so we meet two 4 hour sessions. That would equal 16 hours of studying a week. Um…I don't think he realizes I'll be brutally murdered by crazy fanfic readers if I devote that time!!!!!!!!! Not to mention the lack of life. Anywho, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter (and don't worry, so not studying 16 hours a week!)

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**Running Back  
Chapter 44**

I heard a soft moan fill the room as consciousness drifted back to me. My body ached all over and I tried to move but found I couldn't. I blinked open my eyes and looked around me, finding nothing familiar to clue me into where I was. My wrists were tied before me and I felt ties around my ankles as well. There was a piece of cloth shoved into my mouth and another tied around my head to keep it in, making my mouth extremely dry and I wanted nothing more than a drink of ice cold water. I shivered and winced, the action causing pain to shoot up through me. I was situated on the cold, concrete floor and I didn't know how long I had been here. Hours? Days? Weeks? More? I felt tears sting my eyes and I closed them harshly. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't cry for this bastard. I heard a door open and footsteps in the room. I opened my eyes and craned my head to try and see who was here, but couldn't see much more than jean clad legs and work boots. I relaxed my body and sighed against the gag. I had to get out of here, I thought.

"So, you're awake." I heard a familiar voice say. I rolled my eyes up to see Damien standing over me. I glared at him as he bent down next to me. He reached out to touch me and I scooted away, a hard task, but I managed to do it without wincing. He tisked me like an adult to a small child and reached out again and brushed some stray hairs out of my face. If I wasn't being held here against my will, bound and gagged, I might have thought the action was out of care. But right now, it creeped me out and I wanted nothing more than to slap his hands out of my face and yell at him not to touch me. But I couldn't with the gag and rope tied around my hands.

"I wonder if they miss you yet." Damien stated, his voice soft and contemplative as his hands brushed through my hair, his touch soft like a lovers. "All your friends and family…or, maybe they don't." Damien said, patting my cheek with a smile that made my blood run cold. "Maybe they're happy to be rid of poor, sweet, innocent Jude." Damie said, his voice sing-song and I felt tears fill my eyes and I closed them and tried to block out Damien's voice and words. They'll find me, I told myself. "What do you think, hu Jude?" Damien asked and I felt his hand connect hard with my cheek. The sound of the slap echoed through the room and I bit back a whimper. My cheek stung and tears threatened to fall. "You think your boyfriend would still want you after you nearly fucked his brother?" My eyes shot open and Damien laughed at me. He slapped me again and I couldn't hold back the whimper and the tears to fall from my eyes. Tommy loves me, I told myself. We're doing ok. We'll get past Chris. "Seriously Jude, you must be delusional," Damien told me, laughing as he stood up and backed away from me a bit. He continued to watch me as tears fell down my face. He just smiled his sick and twisted smile and delivered a kick to my abdomen, causing my body to contract in and air to woosh out of my mouth through the gag. Pain shot up through my stomach and I thought I was going to hurl behind the gag. Stars danced across my vision and I managed to suck in a breath as Damien walked away from me, his cell phone chirping across the room.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I stormed out of my office and towards the reception desk where Sadie was manning the phones. I spent the last hour calling in favors to old friends who owed me in one way or another. Contacts whom were still on the streets and knew the players and were in on the game. One way or another, I'd find Jude and rip Damien apart.

"Sadie!" I called, and saw her look up as I approached. I leaned on the counter before her and she looked up at me in question. "Did Jude have her cellphone on her Saturday?" I asked. Sadie frowned as she stared at me like I was a moron. "Sadie, please, I need to know."

"I don't know. I don't remember seeing it with her." Sadie said, looking thoughtful. "I don't think Dad gave it to her."

"Could you see if he has it?" I asked, giving her my best puppy eyes. Sadie stared at me a long moment, her gaze skeptical. "Why?"

"I'll tell you if you get me her cellphone." I stated through gritted teeth, annoyed.

"You know who took Jude."

"I think I know." I corrected and Sadie continued to watch me a long moment.

"You think it's her stalker. The picture guy." Sadie stated, staring straight into my eyes to gage my reaction. "That's why you want her cellphone."

"Sadie, please." Sadie sighed and looked at the clock behind her and then back at me. "If I leave now, I can sneak the phone out of the house before Dad's home. But I need someone to cover phones." She stated, looking pointedly at me.

"Oh, no. Sadie, please, I can't answer the phones!" I pleaded, starting to panic. "Do you know what will happen?" My mind started to go crazy with flashbacks of screaming girls and the disastrous business deals I had been a part of in the past and screaming fans and tabloid hounds.

"Do you want the cellphone or not?" She demanded and I pursed my lips in annoyance. I needed that phone. I needed a way to contact Damien. I highly doubt if I waited til D left I would find it in his little black book in his office. I sighed and gave Sadie a glare.

"Fine." Sadie smirked and took her headset off and handed it to me. I sighed and prayed by some miracle the phones would stop working. I placed the set on and Sadie grabbed her purse and I took her seat. "Hurry back." I told her and she smiled and sashayed out of the office. I glared at her retreating back. The phone started ringing and I stared at it, wide eyed for a moment and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. If there's a God, please help me. I thought as I clicked the line and said into the headset in a falsely pleasant tone "G Major Records, how can I direct your call?"

- - - - - - - - - - - -

What felt like 100 years later, Sadie entered G Major Records, took one look at Tommy Quincy and laughed. The usually suave older man looked more frazzled and out of his element than on their first "date" when she had called him her boyfriend. He looked moments away from cracking under pressure and she was happy to see that someone could now appreciate what she did all day. Not everyone could handle 20 lines at once and not bat an eye all the while placing orders and making sure the company didn't fall apart. Sadie crossed over to Tommy who looked up at her, his eyes widening and he threw the headset off his head like it was onfire.

"Do you know what I had to go through?!" He demanded, leaping away from the desk and letting Sadie take her place, slipping the headset on her head and glancing at all the flashing lights, indicating someone on hold.

"What did you do?! Just put everyone on hold!" She demanded.

"How can you talk to 50 people at once!?" Tommy demanded, as Sadie picked up the headset.

"Please Tommy, there's only 10."

"ONLY!?" Sadie sighed and clicked the first line and transferred the calls in seconds, leaving Tommy staring in astonishment as she systematically directed everyone's calls to the appropriate person.

"What?" Sadie asked, looking up at him.

"How did you do that?" He asked and Sadie shrugged. Tommy shook his head and blinked a couple times, the crazy frazzled look disappearing. "You get the phone?"

"Yulp." Sadie stated, pulling it out of her purse and waving it before his nose. Tommy reached for it and Sadie pulled it out of his reach, eyes narrowed. "Sadie-" "I give you this…" She started, giving Tommy a pointed look that almost scared him. "You better find my sister."

"I will." Tommy stated, his eyes determined and sad all at the same time. Sadie nodded and handed the phone over to him. Tommy took it and turned away from Sadie, and turned around as he walked backward through the lobby "Thanks Sadie!" He called and turned around, flipping the phone open and turning it on before scrolling through the recent calls. "Gotcha!" Tommy said triumphantly as he found an unknown number that had several instances. He crossed into his office and pulled out a notepad and quickly jotted down the number before feeling a pang of sadness hit him. _Why didn't she tell me before that he called so much_? Tommy wondered, as he continued scrolling and saw how many times Damien called her recently. Taking a deep breath, Tommy shook his head and selected the number and clicked the talk button, holding it to his ear as it rang.


	47. Chapter 45

**A/N: **This chapter, has been a pain to write. I keep not getting it right, so I hope you guys like it. It's kinda short, but it needs to be. I keep thinking of plot twists and other developments to possibly add in when I keep writing with the goal to end it. Maybe I'll hit 50 chapters before I call it quits, LOL! It's probably a realistic goal for it at this point. We shall see. :D I hope you guys like it and sorry it's been awhile. I've been really focused on BS cuz…well, it's finally at the "good stuff" I've been wanting to write since I started the fic! Anyway, I'll let you all get reading. I'm also working on a oneshot called Before the Dawn that takes place just after the season 3 finale. Be on the look out for that, I'm really proud of the final rough copy. It needs one more tooth and comb review by me and it'll be all set to post. Happy reading!

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**Chapter 45**

Damien looked at the caller ID of his cellphone and looked at me, amusement flooding his eyes.

"Someone's smart, doll face." He told me. "Let's see just how smart they are." I blinked and stared back at Damien as he answered his phone with an innocent sounding hello. I squeezed my eyes closed and prayed it was someone on my trail. That someone had figured it out and was coming for me.

"Well, well well…isn't this a pleasant surprise?" Damien said, his voice filled with a smirk. I opened my eyes and looked back at him. Damien was now facing me again, looking like a kid at Christmas time. "It's been a long time, Quincy."

I felt my blood run cold. Quincy? Was he talking about Tommy? My heart stopped as did the rest of my body. Oh my god…Damien knew Tommy. How?

**-------------**

I tapped my foot against the floor impatiently as the phone rang. "Come on, come on…" I muttered over and over again, hoping that someone would pick up and have knowledge about Jude. It would save me a whole lot of trouble in the long run.

"Hello?"

"How do you know Jude Harrison?" I asked, not bothering with pleasantries.

"Well, well well…isn't this a pleasant surprise?" The person said and I could hear the smirk in his voice. I felt my eyes widen in surprise. "It's been a long time, Quincy."

"Not long enough."

"No need to be hostile." Damien taunted me, his voice condescending and I wanted nothing more than to reach through the phone and choke him. The kid hadn't changed. Still an arrogant punk ass kid and the sicker thing is, I could have been that kid.

-------------

"No need to be hostile," Damien said into the phone, stepping closer to me. "After all, I have your girl." He stated, delivering a hard kick to my abdomen, causing me to scream against the gag. Tears stung my eyes and I closed them tightly, determined to not let them fall down my face. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying. Damien continued to talk with Tommy as I tried to remember to breath and ignore the pain exploding from his sharp kick.

"Fine." I heard Damien say as he reached down to me. I flinched away but he grabbed me and held me in place. He reached down and pulled the gag out of my mouth and held the phone to my ear. "Talk." He commanded me and I didn't know if I could. My mouth and throat felt like the desert and my tongue like sand paper.

"T-to-mm-y." I managed to croak out, my voice sounding hoarse and unrecognizable. It hurt to talk. It hurt to breath. It hurt to do anything.

"Jude!" I closed my eyes and just from the sound of his voice, all my pain and fear seemed to slip away. Tommy would save me. "Jude, are you ok?" Tommy asked, and I could hear the panic and worry in his voice.

"I…I…fi-ne." I managed to say. I knew he wouldn't believe it, but I was too afraid to speak the truth. Damien was still right next to me. I was afraid of what he'd do if I said something, anything to make him mad. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

"I'm gonna get you out of this, Girl, I'm so sorry…I love you." Tommy said hurriedly. Before I could answer, Damien took the phone away from my ear and stepped away from me, not bothering to put the gag back in. It wasn't like I could scream anyway. It hurt to say those three words to Tommy in a hoarse whisper. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to actually scream.

Damien continued to talk with Tommy and I felt my head grow hazy and my eyes slipped closed, pulling me into darkness, Tommy's words echoing through my mind.

-------------

"After all, I have your girl." Damien taunted. I heard a muffled scream from the other end of the phone and I knew he did something to Jude.

"Don't you dare hurt her you sick son-of-a-bitch!" I yelled.

"I don't think you're in the position to be making threats, Tom-Tom." Damien stated, and I bit back a growl. I was going to kick this kid's ass when I saw him. It was official. It didn't matter he was my former best friend's kid brother. He was going down.

"I want to talk to Jude." I stated and Damien was silent a moment, as if contemplating my statement. "I won't make any deals with you unless I know she's ok."

"And what if I don't let you?" Damien asked me and I closed my eyes and told myself to suck it up.

"Then you don't get a chance out of this free and easy."

"You think you can make this go away, Tom? Hu?" Damien asked. "Well guess what, you can't fix everything."

"What do you want?" I asked him. "More money?" Damien didn't respond. "I can get you money, but first, I want to talk to Jude."  
Damien was silent for a moment and I held my breath, hoping he'd go through with my demand.

"Fine." I let out the breath I was holding. I heard a muffled talk and a long pause before Jude's rough voice came over the line, barely audible.

"T-to-mm-y." I closed my eyes, hearing the pain in her voice. She could barely talk and I had to stop my brain from running wild scenarios of what he'd done to her.

"Jude! Jude, are you ok?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I…I…fi-ne." She stammered out and I didn't believe her. She wasn't ok. I could hear it in her voice.

"I'm gonna get you out of this, Girl" I told her, needing her to know that I wasn't going to let her suffer through whatever she was going through much longer. "I'm so sorry, Jude…I love you." I added and she didn't say anything.

"You got what you wanted," Damien's voice came over the line and I closed my eyes, wondering if she heard what I had said. "Now it's my turn."

"How much do you want?" I asked him.

"A few Gs should do it." Damien told me. "I'll be in touch, T." Before I could say anything else, the line was dead. I snapped the phone close and resisted the urge to throw it in the wall. I set it down on my desk and slammed my fist down on it, breathing heavily from anger.  
_You need to pull yourself together man_, I told myself. _You're Jude's only chance and you need to figure out how you're going to get a few grand before Damien decides to get in touch again_.

I took a deep breath and blew it out. I had work to do.


	48. Chapter 46

**A/N:** So this chapter, has now been known as "the bane of my existence". Seriously, this chapter has caused a headache and a half working out. Hence, long update delay. Black Sunday is only delayed cuz the update is gonna be LONG so I'm procrastinating on finishing. Plus this fic is almost done, so it's a bonus to work on this one and it's a big larger of a cliffhanger. So the lightbulb went on last night about this chapter and it progressed well. I hope you all like it – even if the end is scream worthy.

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**Chapter 46  
****Next Day**

I breathed out a heavy sigh and bounced on my heels, glancing down at my watch. I looked up and rolled my eyes. Damien had gotten in touch with me earlier today and we arranged to meet at some out of the way alley where there was no chance an illegal transaction was about to take place. I had worked my ass off to sell off various investments to get the cash and thankfully, didn't have to answer too many questions to get it, only had to convince my financial advisor that it was necessary – which wasn't that easy to do. Damien was officially 20 minutes late and I was more than beginning to wonder if I was being played for a sucker.

I looked up as a car pulled up and parked a short distance away. The passenger door opened and Damien got out and came up to me and I grabbed the briefcase that was resting against my leg and kept a tight grip on it. I wasn't about to hand him over a couple hundred grand for nothing.

"You got the money?"

"You got my girl?" I countered.

"I don't think you're in the position to be testy, Quincy."

"I got your cash."

"Good." Damien said, smiling.

"Where's Jude?" I asked, and Damien shrugged.

"Not here." I closed my eyes a moment to keep my anger down.

"We had a deal."

"You think I'm stupid enough to do this in public? When the girl could scream? Not likely." Damien smirked. "I'm smarter than you think, Quincy."

"I still think you're pretty dumb." Damien glared at me and I wasn't all that unnerved by it. I knew the kid when he was a punk 8 year old. He couldn't phase me over a decade later.

"Let's go and finish this." Damien stated, stepping back and gesturing to the car and I raised an eyebrow.

"You think I'm dumb enough to get in a car with you?"

"The way I see it, you don't exactly have a choice." Damien pointed out and I scowled. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. He had Jude and I wanted her more than anything. I'd give up a lot more than cash to make sure she's happy and safe. "What's it gonna be Tom?" I sighed and clenched my jaw and started towards the car. Damien smirked and followed me.

"I thought you'd see it my way."

_And you're lucky I have some restraint_. I thought, fist tightening around the briefcase I had and would not hand over until I had Jude.

---------------------

After driving around the city in circles for several long minutes, presumably to lose a tail if I had one, before stopping at a warehouse near the docks. A lot of these places were either so run down that they were deemed unsafe and forced to close, abandoned, nearly abandoned, or so damn large no one would notice anything out of the ordinary. I gave myself a mental kick, not knowing why I didn't think of this before.

I followed Damien, silently, through the maze of warehouses to one in the middle of the mess, one of the old run down ones that was probably a safety hazard and filled with asbestos. Damien led me inside and I followed, momentarily blinded by the darkness. I stood for a moment, trying to get my bearings before following his echoing footsteps through the inside of the warehouse, having no idea where I was being led.

Damien stopped and opened a door to a lit room. The sudden light was harsh to my eyes from the darkness and I flinched.

"Welcome to my office, T." Damien said, his voice tinged with laughter and he stepped into the room and I followed. My eyes quickly landed on Jude on the other side of the room, lying on the cement floor, a gag covering her mouth and hands and feet tied together. Her eyes met mine and I saw relief fill them. I took a step towards her and Damien stopped me by grabbing my arm. I turned to look at him and Damien looked down at the briefcase and then at me. "The deal, first." Damien stated and held out a hand. I handed him the briefcase and he smiled, and set it on the desk before us and opened it, smiling at the bills and then closing it.

"Ya know T, who would have thought you'd end up some rich bastard." He said, clicking the clips into place and turning around to face me. "I mean, remember how we met"

"I don't see what the past has to do with this." I stated, staring him straight into the eyes. I know my past and I didn't need Damien spinning it for his own sick pleasure for Jude to hear. If she was going to hear about my criminal record, it'd be from me.

"I guess, you're right." Damien said with a shrug. I glanced over at Jude who was watching us, an unreadable look in her eyes and I turned my attention back to Damien, hoping I'd be able to get a chance to explain all this to her.

"You got what you want, now I get what I want." I stated and Damien sighed. "You take that cash, and you leave Jude alone. I don't give a shit what you do with it, but I don't want you to call her, me, or anyone else again. I don't even want to hear your name. You let Jude and me go and you disappear."

Damien's eyes narrowed but he nodded. I watched him go over to the briefcase and pick it up and head towards the door. I turned around and started to Jude. I saw her eyes widen in horror. I started to turn around when I felt the knife tear into my left side, below the shoulder. I couldn't hold back to cry of pain and I heard Damien's sickening laugh. I lost my balance and fell onto the floor, jarring the injury and wincing. I heard Jude making some kind of a noise against the gag.

Damien stepped over me and walked over to Jude, taking the gag out of her mouth. "Go ahead and scream. No one will hear you." He told her before standing back up and moving back towards me. I tried to get up, but it hurt too much. "Pleasure doing business with ya." Damien stated, reaching around me and pulling the knife out. I grunted in pain, determined not to cry out and heard Damien leave. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, trying to ignore the pain. I had to get up, I had to get Jude out of here.

"T-tommy?" I heard Jude say, my name coming out with a sob. I lifted my head to look at her, careful not to jar my shoulder.

"I'm ok." I managed to say weakly, feeling anything but. My head was swimming, darkness was starting to cloud my vision. I felt hot and my side-back where the knife went in was throbbing, shooting pain throughout me. I heard Jude sniffle and watched her scoot towards me.

"Don't lie to me." She said and I lay my head back down on the floor, the coolness feeling good against my hot forehead.

"Do you really want the truth?" I managed to say, my voice sounding not at all like me and I knew it was because of the pain. I didn't know how much longer I could stay awake. Between the pain and, I'm sure, blood loss…I felt my eyes grow heavy and darkness covered more of my vision. Just giving into the blackness seemed like such a good thing right now. Pain-free bliss and obliviousness was never a bad thing.

---------------------

I saw Tommy's eyes drift close as I closed the gap between us. I reached down with my hands, awkwardly, and ran my fingers through his hair. His eyes opened and he rolled his eyes up to look at me. He looked like hell, pale, shuddering breaths, and a look of pure pain in his eyes. I felt tears sting my eyes and I didn't bother to keep them back. I reached behind him with the intention to place my hands over his wound to stop the blood flow, but he reached up and stopped me.

"Scoot closer." He murmured, his voice sounding weaker than it had before. I didn't ask questions and did what he asked. I didn't know what he had planned, but it was obviously different from what I did. I heard him grunt and looked down as he reached up, with both hands, shaking slightly, and picking at the knots.

"Tommy, don't worry about-"

"I don't get you untied…" He stopped and took a deep breath, his fingers faltering over the ropes a moment as he took a moment to collect himself. His fingers started to go at the knots again as he continued what he was going to say. "We're both not getting out of here."

He was right. I knew he was, but tears fell freely from my eyes as I watched him struggle with the ropes that kept my hands together. Finally, I felt them give and he collapsed back down as I pulled my hands free. I felt a sob escape my throat and I reached down and pulled his head into my lap, stroking his face with one hand, pressing down on the bleeding wound with the other, hoping it wasn't too late to keep him alive.

"Tommy?" I managed to say, and he looked up at me, his eyes glazed over and not all the way there, but focused right on me. "Cell?"

"Pocket." He muttered weakly. I removed my hand from his cheek and checked his pockets, careful not to move him too much. Finally, I found it and pulled it free. I flipped it open and started to dial when I felt his hand on my wrist. I looked down at him and saw his eyes flutter and I knew he was struggling to stay awake. I felt a sob at the back of my throat. I was too late.

"Jude…I'm," He took a shaky breath. "Sorry. Love you."

"I love you too," I managed to say, tears falling more freely from my eyes. He smiled at me weakly and saw his eyes flutter close and his body go limp. The sob escaped and I pressed down harder on the wound, no longer concerned if I hurt him, only with keeping him alive. I flipped the cell open, and dialed 911 with shaky fingers and gave them all the necessary information to find us. The dispatcher stayed on the line with me, telling me things to do to try and keep him alive until the paramedics got here to save us before hanging up, not able to do much because he had passed out. I could only hope and pray that they'd find us in time. If they didn't…I couldn't even think about if they didn't. They had to find us.

I set his phone next to me and reached down and brushed some stray hairs off his forehead. He had to make it. I couldn't do this without him.


	49. Chapter 47

**A/N: **haha, yeah it's been awhile for this as well, but I really like this chapter. I hope you guys all like it! Comments/feedback is always appreciated. I wanna say that I love you guys, seriously. I love checking my emails and getting the review alerts. It makes me smile and motivated to write more. I hope you guys like this...though the ending is kinda sucky for you guys. Enjoy!

* * *

The time that Tommy went unconscious til the ambulance arrived is a complete and total blur. I was shoved out of the way and paramedics surrounded him. People started answering questions and I couldn't answer them. My eyes kept trying to keep sight of Tommy, to see if he was still breathing. Once they had him on a gurney and heading to the ambulance, questioning ceased and I was allowed to ride in the ambulance with him. I was crying still, it seemed like the tears never stopped running down my face. I wanted to hold his hand, to let him know that I was there, but the paramedics wouldn't let me. I couldn't do anything but watch helplessly. I couldn't even tell them what blood type he was so the hospital could get his levels back up or if he was allergic to any medications. I didn't know. I didn't even know how to contact someone who would. I was useless and Tommy needed me more than ever and I couldn't help him. I could only sit back and watch as the paramedics did everything they could to keep him alive until we made it to the hospital.

"Is he going to be ok?" I asked weakly at one of the paramedics. I didn't get an answer, just a look of sympathy as they kept checking the machines and IV fluids. We began to roll to a stop when the machines started beeping fast and loud. I looked up in panic, knowing the sound from TV. The paramedics hurried up and rushed around Tommy, doing things so fast I couldn't keep track of. They burst out the back of the ambulance and I tried to follow, my legs shaking so hard I couldn't keep up. The only thing I could think of was that this was it. That I lost him.

I managed to make it through the ER doors and was stopped by a nurse. She took one look at my appearance and her eyes went sympathetic. She wrapped an arm around me and led me away from the hustle and bustle of the halls.

"Tommy, is he"

"The Doctors have him now, they'll do everything they can, hun." She told me, her voice soft and gentle as she spoke to me.

"I just…he was…he's so weak…"

"Jude," I looked up at her in confusion. "My daughter is a fan."

"Oh."

"Jude, hon, is there anyone we can call for you – for him, friends, family…"

"My sister. Sadie." I answered automatically with a sniff, reaching up to rub my eyes where tears were still flowing freely. I gave the nurse Sadie's cell number and the nurse ruffled my hair.

"We'll give her a call. Is there anything you need hon?"

A miracle. I thought and shook my head. The nurse gave me a sympathetic look and left the room. My eyes blurred and tears fell freely. I reached up to cover my mouth but froze, the sob coming out unguarded. My hands started to shake and I felt like I was going to be sick. My hands were covered with his blood. Not one patch of pale skin showed through. I just stared numbly at my hands, turning them over to look at them, feeling sicker by the minute and tears flowing freely down my face. I felt my stomach lurch and I got up from my chair and made it to the trash can before my stomach rebelled and it's contents left my mouth. I heaved long after there was anything left to spit up and it only made me feel worst. I couldn't stop thinking about all the blood. At how pale Tommy was. How he … he saved me.

"Jude?" I heard a soft voice say and I didn't get up. I couldn't. I heard a couple steps of heels click on the tile and then felt a hand rub up and down my back. I took a couple deep breaths and looked over to see Sadie kneeling next to me, her eyes full of concern and I let out another sob. Sadie wordlessly pulled me to her and I cried harder, my sister soothing my hair and rubbing circles up and down my back.

"_Jude…I'm…sorry. Love you." _His words rang through my head and I gripped Sadie harder, silently praying that he'd pull through. That he'd make it and we'd be together again. I heard the door open and felt Sadie look to see who it was, but she didn't stop comforting me. I took a couple deep breaths and looked over to see Kwest standing in the room, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Hey, Jude." Kwest said, his voice sad and his eyes sympathetic.

"Hi." I managed to say, sniffling. Sadie continued to stoke my hair, her eyes not leaving mine. "Did they…is he…"

"No news yet." Kwest said, giving me a small smile. "Hey, Tommy's a stubborn bastard. He's not going to go down without a fight." I nodded and sniffed again.

"Hey, Jude?" I looked over at Sadie. "You wanna go get cleaned up?" She asked me, looking down at my hands and then back at me. I looked down at the bloodstained hands and thought I was going to be sick again. My head swam and my vision blurred and I felt my stomach tighten. I closed my eyes and nodded. Sadie pulled me up and I opened my eyes again, still a bit light headed and let her lead me down the hall.

Sadie silently started running warm water in the bathroom sink and wordlessly, took my hands and placed them under the water. She then squirted soap in her hands, rubbed them together and scrubbed vigorously at my hands. I just stared at the floor, unable to look at myself in the mirror or at the sink where I was sure the blood was going down the sink. I don't know how long we stood like that, but Sadie kept reapplying soap on her hands and scrubbing harder. I didn't feel the pain behind her force. I knew I should, but I was numb. I didn't feel much of anything. After a long time, Sadie rinsed her hands and mine, and grabbed some papertowels and dried off my hands then hers.

When she was done, I looked down at my hands, all traces of Tommy's blood were gone. Just like that, it was like it never happened.

"Jude?" I looked up at Sadie. "What happened?" She asked me.

I opened my mouth to tell her and a whimper escaped as my mind flashed back to Damien. I started to shake and suddenly, I couldn't breath. I was gasping for breath and the only thing I could see was that warehouse room and Damien's knife, Damien's sick twisted smile, Tommy's soft eyes as he looked at me, and then the look of pain, the shock, and his weak unfocused eyes as he told me he loved me.

I felt hands on my arms and I screamed. It wasn't like I was myself. Like my mind was separate from my body. It was like…like I wasn't me as I screamed at the touch.

"Jude! JUDE!" My whole body shook violently and I stopped screaming.

"Sadie?" I managed to say, my voice sounding small and choked. Sadie's eyes were wide and worried as she looked at me. I whimpered and Sadie pulled me into a hug.

"It's ok." She said, rubbing my back. "It's over. You don't have to talk about it, ok?" I didn't answer. Couldn't answer even if I wanted to. My whole body was shaking. My throat was closed up tight and I felt like I was going to burst into tears again at any second.

"Sadie?"

"Yeah Jude?"

"I just…I want to know that he's ok."

"He is, Jude. He's Tommy." Sadie told me, stroking my hair. I shook my head.

"He was so weak, Sades." I told her, a couple tears falling down my face. "He was flat lining in the ambulance." Sadie didn't say anything for a long moment and I knew she believed the worst.

"Tommy wouldn't want you thinking the worst, ok?" She finally said, breaking the silence. "He loves you, Jude. He fought to save you, and he'll fight to stay alive to be with you." I nodded, knowing there was truth in her words. "Wanna go see if Kwest heard anything yet?" She asked me and I nodded. Sadie gave me a small smile and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and walked with me back to the waiting area and to Kwest.

"Any word yet?" I asked and Kwest shook his head and I felt my heart sink at the thought. The longer it took, the worst it was.

I pulled away from Sadie and sat down in a chair and watched the door. I felt Sadie and Kwest's eyes on me but I didn't care. I wanted word on Tommy. If they hadn't come yet, then he was still alive. He wasn't dead yet and that was a good sign. He was going to pull through, he had to. I couldn't do this without him and I wouldn't want to.

Sadie and Kwest moved to sit down on either side of me. Sadie kept an arm around me and Kwest just sat wordlessly next to me, offering me silent support. When the doors opened, I felt my heart leap into my throat, and then sink to my feet. The middle-aged female doctor entered the room with a grim look in her eyes.

"No." I whispered, tears falling down my face.


	50. Chapter 48

**A/N**: Yeah, that last chapter was evil. I have been working my tail off on this to get it perfected. I don't think you guys will be disappointed. Also, for those of you who might not have seen/heard yet, Rockerbabe and I have collaborated on our first serious fic ever, called "The Open Door" by Rockerbabe and Destany Mitchell…or maybe it's the other way around? It's a Jommy fic using songs only from Evanescence's The Open Door CD. It's like, each song is a chapter, dealing with various degrees of Jommy life. The fic rocks…but I'm biased. I think you guys will like it. I haven't seen too many do what we're doing with it, so I'm interested in seeing what you guys think. How we've structured it is I write even songs, she writes the odd songs. We have two chapters up so be sure to check it out if you're looking for a good read or whatever. Anywho! Onto the real reason you're all here (Just had to pimp the collaboration fic!!!)

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**Chapter 47**

Sadie and Kwest moved to sit down on either side of me. Sadie kept an arm around me and Kwest just sat wordlessly next to me, offering me silent support. When the doors opened, I felt my heart leap into my throat, and then sink to my feet. The middle-aged female doctor entered the room with a grim look in her eyes. "No." I whispered, tears falling down my face.

"You're all here for Thomas Quincy?"

"Yeah." Kwest said and Sadie took my hand and squeezed it.

"H-how is he?" I managed to squeak out. From the doctor's expression, it wasn't good and I was fearing the worst.

"I've got good news and bad news."

"Good news first, please." Sadie stated without a moment of hesitation. The doctor nodded and sighed.

"He made it through the surgery."

I released the breath I didn't know I was holding with a loud whoosh. He's alive. I thought and felt a small smile creep its way across my face.

"The bad news?" Kwest asked and the doctor sighed and closed the file in her hands and I felt my smile vanish.

"I'm not going to lie to you." She stated bluntly. "Mr. Quincy lost a lot of blood, we almost lost him a few times." I tightened my grip on Sadie's hand and she squeezed mine gently in return. "The next 48 hours are going to be critical. Bearing no complications, he should make a full recovery."

"The knife didn't cause too much damage?" Kwest asked.

"On the contrary, it went through quite a bit of muscle. He'll need physical therapy once it's healed." Kwest nodded and the doctor looked between us. "Any other questions?"

"Can we see him?" I asked, my voice sounding small and broken, not at all like me.

"Family only." I felt my heart sink.

"His only living relatives live in Montana," Kwest stated. "We're his family." The doctor didn't say anything, just looked back and forth between us. Kwest wrapped an arm around me. "She's his fiancé." I managed to keep my objection to myself. I hoped I didn't look too surprised, but the mess I was in, there was no idea what was showing across my face. I was confused, worried, exhausted, scared, and relieved all at the same time. The only thing I wanted to do, was to see Tommy. She looked at me, a frown on her face, her eyes narrowed. She didn't look like she believed me but she sighed and shook her head and sighed.

"I'll have a nurse come get you when we're ready."

"Thank you," I managed to say and she left, glancing doubtfully at me. I turned to look at Kwest once the door was shut. "Thanks."

Kwest smiled at me and pulled me closer, more of a half hug. "You're welcome." He said, and I pulled back a bit. "Besides, Tom would want to see you. He'd kick my ass if I didn't lie for you."

I chuckled slightly and felt a real smile come across my face. The door opened and a nurse came in with a clipboard with a bunch of papers on it.

"I need someone to fill these out." She said, looking between us. Kwest got up and took the clipboard from the woman. She gave him different instructions and Kwest sat back down with the forms and began carefully reading them over and filling them out.

"Are you ok?" Sadie asked me, reaching up and stroking my hair. I nodded and sniffed.

"I will be." I told her and Sadie nodded. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Does Darius and everyone else know?" I asked, opening my eyes again. By the look on Sadie's face, I'd take it as a no.

"Don't worry about that Jude, ok? I'll call Darius and let him know about Tommy." I nodded and closed my eyes again, feeling anticipation rising within me. I wanted to see Tommy. I needed to see him to reassure myself that he was ok and was going to make it through this. I heard Sadie get up and leave the room and I was thankful for the moment alone to gather my thoughts. I had to concentrate on taking deep breaths. I was about to fall apart at the seams and I don't know what to do or how to keep myself from falling apart. I could feel my body shaking slightly from exhaustion but mentally, my mind was racing. Too much had happened in the last couple hours and I wasn't even sure if I could process everything. It was too much. Has been too much. Just the thought of Damien and…

I shuddered, my stomach churning. _Don't think about that Jude. Don't think about him_. I told myself. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. _What was taking so long_? I wondered. All I wanted was to see Tommy. I didn't care if – my thoughts were broken off when the door opened and a nurse stepped in. I leaped out of my chair, nearly knocking it over and rushing over to the door. The woman blinked at me and then smiled kindly. I recognized her as the same nurse who had been there when I first arrived.

"How bad is he?" I asked Nurse Kim as she led me through the halls and towards the elevator. She was silent a moment as we walked and I wondered if she would tell me anything.

"You ever see the medical dramas? When the patient is brought in near death?" I nodded my head and felt my heart drop. "He looks worst." She stated, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Is it that bad?" I asked her, feeling tears whell up in my eyes again.

"He's lost a lot of blood," She told me, her voice soft and sympathetic but matter of fact at the same time. "He's going to be weak for a while. We can't shock his body by raising his blood levels all at once; it'd do more harm than good. We have to gradually increase it and even then, the danger lies in if he comes down with an infection."

I nodded, knowing enough about medicine to know that when the body was weak enough, a simple case of the sniffles could be deadly.

"He's hooked up to a couple different machines to keep track of his vitals and let us know if he's doing worst. I'm not going to lie to you, Jude, he should be in ICU, but the staff feels he'd be better in a private room because of his status." I nodded and was thankful for the woman's kind yet matter-of-fact tones. It seemed harsh, but I appreciated the sugar-coated-facts. "He's honestly, going to look a lost worst than he is."

"Thank you." I whispered, a lump forming in my throat, making it hard to talk.

"No, Jude." She told me, and I looked at her, a puzzled look on my face. "Thank yourself. He's alive because of you."

I just stared at Kim, unable to say anything. She just gave me a friendly smile and led me to Tommy's room. She stopped just outside of it and motioned for me to go in.

"Kim, I really can't thank you enough"

"Don't thank me yet, Jude. He's still got a long recovery." She told me and I gave her a smile. For some reason, I felt better knowing that Kim was going to be watching over us.

Kim turned away and went back down the hall where we came from. I took a deep breath and turned to the door and stared at it a long moment, working up the courage to walk in.

I carefully opened the door and stepped into the room, letting the door close behind me with a gentle click. My eyes fell on the figure on the bed and I felt tears spring to them. He was paler than the sheets he was laying on and hooked up to so many machines and none of them made any sense to me. I felt a few stray tears that had escaped my eyes and fallen down my cheeks. I sniffled and walked over to the bed and pulled up, what I knew to be, an extremely uncomfortable chair and sat down next to Tommy.

My eyes didn't leave his face, his dark brown hair a startling contrast to the paleness of his complexion. If it wasn't for the hospital machines and the utter paleness of his features, it looked as if he was sleeping peacefully and hadn't just been stabbed by a knife. I felt a sob wheal up in my throat again and more tears continued to fall down my face. I reached up with a trembling hand and brushed some stray hairs off his forehead, his skin oddly cold and pasty to the touch. The sob that was in my throat escaped and my hand went up and covered my mouth, as if I was afraid that I'd wake him up. This was my fault. I thought, shaking my head as tears fell down my face. He wouldn't be here if I would have been smarter or somehow alerted him faster. Something…anything could have been done differently and we wouldn't be here right now.

"Tommy I-I'm s-s-so s-s-orr-y," I managed to choke out between sobs. I reached down and grabbed his hand gently, caressing the skin on top of his hand where the IV was stuck in, tears falling freely down my face. "I-I love you," I said, sniffling and taking a deep breath to pull myself together. "I can't…I can't get through this without you. You have to fight, Tommy. Fight to stay with me just one last time." I lifted his hand slightly and bent down and kissed the top of it, tears falling freely from my closed eyes. I pulled back with a sniff, and opened my eyes again, looking up to his face to see if he expressed any recognition that I had spoken, my heart sinking to my feet when he still hadn't stirred. I shook my head and closed my eyes. "I know that it's hard, Tommy." I squeezed his hand slightly, careful not to do it hard, but enough to have the pressure be recognizable. "But you've got to wake up, for me."

"J-J-ude…"

My eyes widened and I looked up to see Tommy's eyelids fluttering. I felt a sob rise within my chest. His voice sounded so weak and slightly slurred, but was music to my ears.

"I'm here, Tommy." I said, sniffling and reaching up to brush his hair. I watched his eyes as he slowly fluttered his eyes open into slits and look over at me. "Hey," I managed to say through my tears, sliding my hand down to cup his cheek. His eyes slipped close and he leaned into my hand slightly and I felt a small smile come across my lips. "How're you feeling?" I asked him. He didn't respond for a moment and I thought he had fallen back asleep. I felt my heart sink a bit in disappointment.

"Tired." He responded, his eyes slipping open a bit with slightly more difficulty than they had before. He turned his head to look at me and he tried to smile, but it came off very lazy and not completely there. "B-bea…pwerrrty." He managed to get out, his eyes slipping closed before he forced them open again, his eyelids fluttering.

"I'm not beautiful right now," I told him, caressing his cheek. I knew what he was trying to say, and it warmed my heart to hear that he thought I was beautiful, but right now, I think that would be called into question.

"You….angel." He argued and I felt a smile come over my face.

"That's sweet." I said, bending down to kiss his pale cheek. When I straightened again, his eyes were closed again and I knew he was asleep once again. I felt relief wash over me to know that he was relatively ok. A bit loopy and weak, but otherwise, he seemed OK.

I stayed standing beside his bed for a long moment, just watching him sleep and reveling in the knowledge that he's relatively ok. I glanced at the clock on the wall, noting it was nearing three in the morning. I looked back at Tommy and realized that I couldn't bring myself to leave him. I didn't want him to be alone in the cold, sterile, hospital with no one else around. When I was sick, he had stayed with me the whole time and I had appreciated it. I knew how it felt to wake up and see the love of my life in the bed next to me and know that he was there and everything would be ok.

I glanced towards the closed door to see if anyone was coming and toed off my shoes and set them out of the way before walking back over to the bed and climbing in next to Tommy, careful not to lay on any of the wires or pull something. I situated us a bit before laying my head on his chest and closing my eyes when I heard something. I frowned and opened my eyes and looked up at Tommy. His eyes were still closed, but I felt his hand wrap lazily around me.

"What did you say Babe?" I asked.

"Hide…salami?"

I resisted the urge to reach up and slap him and just rolled my eyes. He was just stabbed with a knife and was, most likely, high on pain meds and he makes a pass at me. I love him to death, but seriously. This was the wrong time.

"Go to sleep." I told him, softly yet firm at the same time.

"Love you." He slurred out and I smiled, laying my head back down on his chest.

"I love you too, Tommy," I said before closing my eyes and falling into a blissful sleep.


	51. Chapter 49

**A/N**: I know, it's been awhile, but I didn't plan on getting sick and then having an exam to study for. This fic, as I'm sure you guys can tell, is coming to a close. I don't think I have too many chapters left to go before this is all wrapped up in a pretty bow and done with. It just seems insane that I've been working on this fic for almost a year. Insanity! Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. It was kinda fun to write. As always, I love and live for comments (yeah…it's the little things in life that make me happy). OH! Thank you loads to those who have been reading and reviewing The Open Door. I'm glad you guys have been enjoying it! BS fans, watch for an update between tonight and tomorrow. It depends how long I make the chapter if it'll be done tonight or sometime tomorrow evening. Anywho, happy reading!!!!!!

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**Chapter 49** (Mis-numbered last one…heh) 

_"Ya know T, who would have thought you'd end up some rich bastard." Damien said, turning around to face Tommy. "I mean, remember how we met." He said with a sneer. I looked between Tommy and Damien, wondering how the two could ever have been connected before this.  
__  
"I don't see what the past has to do with this." Tommy stated, staring Damien straight into the eyes, his own betraying nothing but a cool-non-chalant exterior. If you didn't know Tommy, you'd think he was unfazed by this whole situation, but the set of his shoulders, the slight clenching of his jaw gave him away.  
__  
"I guess, you're right." Damien said with a shrug. Tommy glanced over at and I had no idea what he saw, but he looked pensive as he gazed at me and I felt oddly comforted just looking into his blue eyes. He looked away from me and turned his attention on Damien.  
_

"Jude?"

I snapped my head around and saw Tommy staring lazily up at me. One look at him and I remembered we were no longer in the warehouse, but in the hospital, and he was going to make it. He wasn't dead. I let out a sob and lay back down, burying my face in Tommy's chest. I felt his hand reach up and stroke my hair, trying to comfort me.

"Jude?"

I snapped my head around and saw Tommy staring lazily up at me. One look at him and I remembered we were no longer in the warehouse, but in the hospital, and he was going to make it. He wasn't dead. I let out a sob and lay back down, burying my face in Tommy's chest. I felt his hand reach up and stroke my hair, trying to comfort me.

"You're alive." I found myself murmuring between soft sobs.

"Barely." Tommy said, his voice sounding weak and groggy. I sniffed and sat up on my arm to look down at him. He was pale, his eyes barely half massed as he struggled to stay awake with me.

"Go back to sleep, I'll be ok."

"No, you're not." He said, his voice surprisingly firm. He reached up and brushed a tear away from my eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes fluttering shut before forcing them open again.

My mind flashed back to my dream…memory, of the night before and I shuddered. Tommy's eyes went soft and sympathetic, or maybe it was the morphine pump kicking in, and he caressed my cheek.

"I'm suppose to be taking care of you." I muttered and he shook his head.

"You were kidnapped."

"You were stabbed." Tommy winced.

"Yeah, but my wounds are physical." He slurred out. "Yours are deeper."

I looked away from him and fought a new wave of tears. He was right, in a way.

"Oh, good, you're awake." I sat up and looked over at the door to see a nurse walking into the room. I went to get up and Tommy reached for my hand and I stayed where I was. The nurse smiled at us, like a person does when they see a couple in love, and recorded things on Tommy's chart.

"How're you feeling today, Mr. Quincy?"

"Like I'm extremely drunk…and a bit hung over." He stated and the nurse smiled and I shook my head, trying not to laugh.

"I think that's the most…colorful description I've ever gotten," Tommy shrugged and then winced at the motion. "But that's a normal reaction to the morphine."

I watched the nurse as she opened a drawer by the bed and pulled out a syringe and filled it before sticking it into the IV port and injecting Tommy with whatever contents were in it.

"What's that?" I asked her, noticing Tommy's eyes droop more as the medication entered his system.

"Antibiotics to help fight off any infection. We're mostly giving it to him as a precaution. It'd be dangerous for him to get sick right now." I nodded, remembering what Kim had said last night.

Tommy's eyes closed and his head fell to the side, his hair falling across his forehead. I smiled to myself and reached up and brushed the stray hairs away.

"He's lucky to have such a loving fiancé." The nurse commented, smiling at us. I wasn't sure what to say and just smiled at the woman, considering we weren't really married.

"I never proposed yet." Tommy murmured, his voice rough eyes still closed. Apparently, he hadn't fallen asleep just yet. The nurse laughed a bit and I just shook my head.

"He's adorable." She told me, making another note on the chart before leaving and I blew out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I turned my attention away from the door and bent down and kissed Tommy's forehead before getting up from the bed and moving to the chair beside it. I just hoped the nurse didn't tell Tommy's doctor about his comment. She was already suspicious as it was, I didn't need to worry about anything else happening.

I reached out and took Tommy's hand in mine and caressed it gently, my mind flashing back to Damien's sadistic smile and the knife cutting into Tommy's back. I shivered, but not from being cold, tears stinging my eyes. This is all my fault, I thought, tears falling down my face.

---------------------------------------

"I'm worried about her." I stated, turning away from the doorway and looking back at Kwest.

"She's been through a lot." He told me and I knew it was true. I couldn't imagine what my little sister was feeling but I'm Big Sister Sadie. I'm supposed to protect my little sister. I'm supposed to be able to help her and chase away the bullies. But this time…I can't. I can't help her and I hate it. There's nothing I can do for Jude except be here for her and…as much as I know it's enough for her. I wonder if it's really enough. She needs to talk about this, she needs to deal with everything, but she won't talk about it.

"I just…I don't know what to do, Kwest. I tried to get her to tell me what happened last night, but"

"She'll tell you when she's ready." Kwest told me, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him.

"Sadie Elizabeth Harrison!" I pulled away from Kwest and saw my dad rushing down the hall, a section of the newspaper rolled up in his hand. I looked away from Kwest, my eyes wide. Oh my god. I never told Dad Jude was missing. "Why the hell did I have to find out my daughter was kidnapped from the morning gossip column!"

"I…" I tried to think of something, anything to say, but I couldn't. Dad left out of town unexpectantly for business the night Jude went missing. I covered for her that night, saying she was staying late at the studio for a deadline, but from there…I had thought she ran off to enjoy time with Jamie or Kat or even Tommy.

"Mr. Harrison-"

"Sadie, why didn't you tell me?" Dad asked, looking worried and I just shook my head.

"I don't know…I just…I thought maybe…I didn't" I couldn't finish my thought and burst into tears. Kwest tightened his grip around me and pulled my closer. I turned my head and continued to cry into his shoulder.

"Sadie, sweety, I didn't mean to"

"We're all stressed and worried, Mr. Harrison." I heard Kwest say, his hands soothing my hair and stroking my back, trying to help me calm down.

"What happened, is Jude ok?" Kwest hesitated a moment.

"We don't really know the details…"

"What happened?" Kwest sighed.

"As far as we know, Jude was kidnapped by the same guy who took all those pictures."

"I thought Darius was going to handle all this?"

"He did…or at least, we thought we did." Kwest stated. "Anyway, he kidnapped Jude, I guess he ransomed to Tommy or whatever, I don't really know the details, but Tommy went to save her, he got stabbed with a knife"

"Jude! Is she ok?"

"As far as we know." Kwest stated and I shook my head and pulled away from Kwest.

"How can you say that!" I yelled. "Jude is not ok! She watched the love of her life get stabbed with a fucking knife and almost watched him die. How could she be ok!? And God only knows what else happened to her!" I shrieked, causing hospital staff and guests to turn towards us and stare at me. On a normal day, I might have been embarrassed, but today, I didn't care. I just glared at the people and they all slowly went back to doing their business.

"Where is she?" Dad asked.

"She's with Tommy." I saw his eyes narrow and I rolled my eyes. "He almost died, Dad. Give the guy a break."

"I want to see her, to make sure she's ok"

"Dad, just"

"Sadie," I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Can I help you?" We all turned to see a doctor standing next to us, not looking pleased by us. I winced. We were being loud and disruptive.

"I'm here to see my daughter." Stuart stated and the doctor nodded.

"Is she a patient?"

"No, but"

"Her fiancé is." I stated and Dad turned his head to look at me, his gaze sharp and questioning. I gave him a pleading look not say anything.

"Of course…if you go over to the reception desk, they can help you find the room number." The doctor told us and walked past us down the hall.

"Fiance?!"

"They wouldn't let her see him, family only so"

"So now they're suddenly engaged?"

"Dad…it's not like they don't love eachother as it is."

"She's 17!"

"Dad, she loves him. He loves her."

"He's too old for her,"

"Mr. Harrison," Kwest spoke up, and Dad looked past me and at Kwest. I had to admit, even with his arms still around me, I had forgotten he was there. "I know Tom, he's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I can see where you'd have some concerns for Jude, but I'm telling you, he really does love her. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt her."

Dad didn't say anything, just stood there with narrowed eyes.

"And what about what he did to you, Sadie?"

"Dad, Tommy never loved me and…I wasn't ever in love with him." I stated with a shrug. "I thought I was, but…I was in love with who he used to be; with the guy who sang cheesey 90's pop songs. Jude loves him for him and he's always had his eyes on her. Let them be."

Dad stood there a moment before turning away from Kwest and me and heading over to the reception desk.

"You think he's gonna finish the job?" Kwest asked, sounding nervous.

"I don't know." I whispered, and prayed Dad would come to his senses before blowing up at Jude. I don't think she could take it right now.


	52. Chapter 50

**A/N: **I have officially made it to 50 chapters. It's surreal. I never thought I'd ever have a story longer than 30 chapters. And here I got 50. Maybe I should go for 100 before I give up on this sucker ;) J/K. I'm so glad that you guys are still with me. I know a few of you have been around almost as long as the fic has, and that's just awesome, and those of you who are recently hopping on for the ride...wow. Seriously. I never thought I'd have someone want to go through over 200 pages of fanfic to catch up, let alone being 200 pages of my own fanfic. I love you guys, you're awesome. I'm really excited about this chapter. You guys are probably gonna hate it…but I love it to pieces. Review like crazy and I'll update ASAP. Deal?

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**Chapter 50**

I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, still holding Tommy's hand in mine. Tears were stinging my eyes and I didn't want them to fall. I was tired of crying. I didn't think I had any tears left in me and then I remembered Damien. I remembered what he did…what he almost did, and I felt like my world was going to fall apart at the seams.

"Tommy," I choked out, looking back down at him and reaching over with my other hand to smooth out his hair. He was still sleeping, probably from all the drugs they had him pumped full of, but I had to get this out. "I'm scared," I took a shaky breath and felt tears burning my eyes, threatening to fall once again. "I just…I keep seeing Damien. I remember what happened and…" I shuddered and closed my eyes. I found myself gripping Tommy's hand a little tighter. "I just keep wondering what would have happened if you wouldn't have come for me. What would he have done? How far would he have gone…and…God Tommy," tears began to fall and I sniffed. I looked up and shook my head, trying to get myself together again. "You're laying in this bed because of him…because of me and…" I felt a sob whell up in my throat and I took a minute to recompose myself before continuing. "I love you…so much and I don't know what I'd have done if…" The sob escaped my throat and I couldn't bring myself to finish my thought. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, just wanting to be close to him. I continued to cry and clench his hand like it was my lifeline. And in a way, it was. I knew he was the only thing keeping me together and that thought scared me as much as it comforted me.

I heard a noise and looked up and over at the door.

"D-dad?" I managed to say, staring at my Dad in confusion. He was looking at me with sympathetic eyes. I hadn't seen that look on my Dad since the night I performed Skin on Under the Mic.

"Jude," He paused and licked his lips and I knew he was thinking hard, or nervous I couldn't be sure which, about something.

"H-how long have you been-"

"Long enough." Dad told me and walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Jude, we need to talk." Dad said, his voice firm and sad all at the same time. I looked away from him and back at Tommy who hadn't stirred.

"I…"

"It'll only be a minute honey." Dad said and I nodded. I resisted the urge to kiss Tommy's cheek as I let go of his hand and stood up from the chair. Already, I felt like part of me was ripped away. I felt cold and alone and I took a deep breath, trying to calm my fraying nerves. It's only Dad, I told myself, Tommy'll be fine…Damien is…gone. You have nothing to worry about Jude.

"Jude?"

I froze and turned around and looked back at the bed. Tommy was staring sleepily at me and I sniffed.

"Hey…" I said, glancing at my Dad and then going over to his side.

"Where're you goin?" He asked, his voice rough and heavy. I reached out and caressed his cheek.

"Just out in the hall. I'll be back soon, ok?" I said, and he nodded, his eyes fluttering close.

"Jude?"

"Hm?"

"I love you." Tommy whispered. And I couldn't help but smile. I leaned down and kissed his forehead, my lips lingering longer than necessary. When I pulled back, Tommy was looking up at me and I smiled. I reached out and smoothed his disheveled hair.

"I love you too." Tommy smiled sleepily in response and I let my hand fall to caress his cheek again. He leaned into my hand, his eyes slipping closed. "Go back to sleep, I'll be back soon." I said. He nodded slightly, eyes still closed. I leaned down and kissed his cheek again, a tear falling down my face. I pulled away and backed up a couple steps, keeping my attention on Tommy to make sure he didn't still need me. When he didn't stir, I turned and looked at my dad who was looking at me with the oddest look in his eyes.

"What?" I asked and Dad shook his head a couple times.

"Nothing, ready?" He asked and I glanced back over at Tommy. He still hadn't moved and I took a deep breath. You can do this Jude. I told myself again and nodded. I followed Dad out of the room so we could talk and once in the hall, I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling cold.

"Jude, Honey, Sadie told me what happened, are you ok?" Dad asked me and I drew a sharp breath.

"I…I'll be ok." I said, my voice sounding more sure of myself than I felt. "I…I just need time."

"Jude, I know you probably don't want to do this, but have you talked to the police? Do they know who did this?" Dad asked me and I shook my head. I had no idea if the police knew anything. I hadn't talked to anyone. I didn't know if I could.

"I..I don't know Dad. I haven't talked to anyone." I said, my voice coming out small.

"Jude, you need to"

"No, Dad, I need to do this on my own."

"Jude, honey, this…sick bastard shouldn't get away with kidnapping you and doing … whatever the hell it is he did to you." Images of Damien and the warehouse flashed through my mind. The kicks, the threats, the hurtful words…the knife. I closed my eyes tight and tried to push away the thoughts. I felt my breathing getting faster and my heart raced. I couldn't stop the memories from rushing at me. I heard myself whimper and I felt my legs grow weak. I felt myself falling and then arms caught me.

"Jude…Jude…" I heard someone saying but I couldn't answer them. I couldn't do anything but see Damien, hear his voice, remember the fear and nothing else.

"Help me," I whimpered out, my hands going to my head. I felt a prick on my arm and I felt my legs go from under me, my head grew light and the images faded out to black and I went with it into blissful nothingness.


	53. Chapter 51

**A/N:** OK guys, I'm so sorry this has taken me so long. So much drama has happened in my life lately it's insanity. I've been trying to keep up with everything but I just had to deal and think and I think I'm ok now. I don't really know. Anyway, I'm sorry that this has taken so long to update. I've been trying but…life just happened and threw me an unexpected curveball this last week and it's been hell trying to decipher it. Add in classes, lack of sleep, friend drama, family drama, my sister's upcoming wedding (which is a year away, but I have maid of honor duties…) it's getting rough. Thank god for school being over! That's all I gatta say. Anyway, I hope you guys like this update. OH! And thanks for those of you who nominated this fic, me (as a favorite author?!!!!!), and Cure My Tragedy/Black Sunday in on the Instant Star fanfic awards. I didn't think I'd see me on the nominees list, let alone in three categories. So thanks for your support. That really brought a smile to my face, and god knows I needed it. Anyway, thank you for your support and reviews and now onto the fic! And also thanks to Chrissie for her wonderful beta powers for pointing out that Sadie underwent a gender change. Any other mistakes are her fault ;).

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**Chapter 51**

Consciousness slowly began to creep its way into my mind. I could hear voices, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. It sounded as if I was at one end of a tunnel and the person the voice belonged to was at the other. As time went on, the voices got louder, more distinct, but I wasn't sure of the words. I felt my head roll on something soft and my eyes felt heavy as I tried to force them open. After a bit of a struggle, I succeeded and blinked a few times, trying to remember where I was.

"Jude!" I turned my head to my left and saw my dad and Sadie rushing over to me from across the room.

"Hey," I greeted, my voice sounding timid and weak. My mind and body felt sluggish and I couldn't remember what happened. "Where are we?" I asked, frowning in concentration, trying to get my brain to remember something, anything.

"You're in the hospital, honey." Sadie said, reaching over and stroking my hair. Hospital? Sadie must have seen my look of confusion and quickly explained about Tommy, about me freaking out in the hospital hallway. As she spoke, memories flashed through my head, reminding me why I was here.

"Tommy, how is he?" I asked, looking around to see if I could see him.

"Easy, Jude." My dad said, pushing me back down onto the bed. "The doctors took him to do another blood transfusion, or whatever it is they're doing. He's fine."

I nodded my head but I wasn't convinced. I needed to see him, I realized, to know for myself that he was ok.

"Jude, do you remember what happened?" Sadie asked me, her eyes soft and caring. I nodded my head.

"Yeah…a bit, anyway."

"Honey, you freaked out in the hall." Dad said, his expression still worried.

"I…it, it just hit me." I said, looking away from Dad and Sadie and resisted the urge to shudder. I don't know what happened, but…I couldn't stop thinking about Damien then. I couldn't get away from the memories and I was trapped reliving them. All I knew was that I hoped to never feel like that again. Hopeless, afraid, alone.

"Jude, I think maybe you need" Dad was cut off by the door opening and a doctor walking into the room. He looked over at us and smiled as he came over to the bed.

"I see the princess has awoken." He said brightly as Sadie and Dad moved out of his way. He held out his hand to me and I took it. He shook my hand and then let it go and I let it fall to the bed. "How are you feeling, Ms. Harrison?" He asked me.

"Ok…I guess. My head hurts a little." I said, with a frown. I hadn't noticed the dull ache in my head until he had stepped into the room.

"I guess it's too be expected." He said with a grim look. "My name is Dr. Smith, Ms. Harrison, and while I am not a psychiatrist, I believe you are exhibiting symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." He stated bluntly. "It's common in cases like yours."

"You're saying I'm going crazy?" I said, feeling confused.

"No, you are anything but." He insisted. "You were in a mentally traumatic situation several hours earlier. Your brain, and body, are trying to cope with it but sometimes, it needs help. Sometimes things happen to people that are too traumatic for them to deal with on their own."

"You want Jude to see a psychiatrist?" Dad asked and Dr. Smith turned to him and nodded.

"Her episode in the hall is a classic symptom of PTSD." He stated. "There isn't much we can do for you, Ms. Harrison. While I'd like for her to stay under observation for the next 24 hours, I really don't see it doing any good. PTSD flashbacks can occur once to never again. They can happen at any time, and she was lucky this time was in the hospital. I cannot force her to seek help, but I strongly suggest it." He said, looking between all of us and I nodded. He gave me a reassuring smile. "Jude, I want you to relax the next few days." He told me. "Be with people you trust, love, places you feel safe." I nodded and he continued. "It should lessen the PTS attacks." I nodded again and he gave me a small smile. "Are there any questions?"

"Is there someone you'd recommend Jude seeing?" Dad asked and I looked sharply over at him. I didn't want to talk to a shrink. I wasn't crazy.

"I've heard Dr. Susan Martinez is pretty good with PTS cases. I could have her come talk to you if you'd like." Dr. Smith said and Dad nodded. I just gaped at my dad. I wasn't crazy!

"Thank you." Dad said and the doctor nodded.

"Any other questions?"

No one spoke up and the doctor left, telling dad he'd talk with Dr. Martinez. Dad turned back to me and saw my glare.

"Jude,"

"I'm not crazy." I whispered, tears stinging my eyes.

"Of course you're not, Honey." Sadie said, sitting down on the bed and pulling me to her. I let Sadie hold me and I tried hard not to cry. I didn't want to cry anymore. Sadie reached up and stroked my hair and I continued to glare at my dad.

"Jude, you need to talk to someone." Dad said and I shook my head. "Honey, you had to be sedated in the hall"

"I don't…I don't want to talk to some…stranger." I whispered and Sadie hugged me tighter.

"Jude"

"Dad, we'll talk about this later, ok?" Sadie said, and he sighed and nodded. "Honey, you know you can talk to us…to me." She said, stroking my hair and I didn't say anything. I didn't know if I could tell Sadie or Dad what had happened with Damien. I didn't even want myself to think about it. How could I tell Dad and Sades?

---------------------

"God, Kwest, I don't know what to do." I said into his chest. Kwest wrapped his arms around me and held me as I cried into his shoulder.

"She'll be ok, Sadie." He told me, stroking my back and I shook my head and pulled away to look into his eyes.

"No, Kwest, she won't."

"Sadie, Jude's strong, she'll"

"Kwest, she won't talk to anyone about what happened." I said, pulling away from him and pacing. "She needs help and she…" I shook my head and stopped walking, looking up at the ceiling. "The only person she can probably talk to, is too drugged up to be of any help." I said, my voice sounding bitter.

"Hey," Kwest said, walking over to me. I just looked helplessly at him. "Tommy would much rather be comforting Jude than being on a morphine drip and getting blood platelets every few hours," I closed my eyes at his words. "But that can't be helped. Sadie, we just have to be here for her." Kwest told me, running his hands up and down my arms. "She'll talk when she's ready."

"I just…I feel so useless." I said, tears burning my eyes. "I'm suppose to protect her from things like this."

"Sadie, this wasn't your fault."

"I know, but…" I shook my head. "Jude's my baby sister. And I can't help her."

"Sadie," Kwest said, his voice soft. I looked up into his eyes and he leaned forward, his forehead touching mine. "You're here for her." He said, taking my hands in his and stroking the backs of mine with his thumbs. "Let that be enough. She'll come to you when she's ready." I closed my eyes a long moment and reopened them and sniffed.

"Kwest?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you." I said, wrapping my arms around him and closing my eyes, letting him comfort me.

"I love you Sadie." Kwest murmured, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

**- - - 2 Days Later - - - **

"Provided no further complications, Mr. Quincy, we'll be able to release you by the end of the week."

Tommy nodded and I couldn't help but grin in happiness. Tommy was going to be ok. This was probably the first bit of good news I've heard in a week. The doctor left the room and I beamed at Tommy and felt my face fall at his frown.

"What?" I asked, noting the frown deepen a bit as he looked critically at me. "That's good news."

"I'm not worried about me, Jude." Tommy stated and I looked away from his gaze.

Over the last couple of days, Tommy's color had come back considerably, was off the morphine drip, was done with receiving blood platelets and taking Vicodin by mouth every couple hours to keep the pain down, despite his protests. He was more lucid today than he had in been since before the incident though the drugs still made him tired. Last night he had talked me into going home to get some sleep and I did it to make him happy. Sleep didn't come at all, I tossed and turned all night, trying hard not to think of Tommy, or Damien.

"Kwest told me what happened with you and your Dad in the hall the other day." Tommy said, his voice and eyes worried as he looked at me. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and didn't meet his eyes.

"Jude, this wasn't your fault." Tommy told me and I snapped my head up to look at him. How could he say that? It was my fault. He wouldn't have even been there if it hadn't been for me. If I had been smarter, more alert in the alley, I could have – "It's true, Jude." Tommy told me I stared at him in shock. How did he know what was going on in my head? I wondered. "And if anyone's to blame for me being in the hospital, besides Damien, it's me."

"What! Tommy, you were"

"Stupid enough to turn my back on him." Tommy stated.

"That's just" I trailed off, not able to finish my sentence. I was angry Tommy would even think that. This wasn't his fault, he was the victim.

"And _that_" Tommy stressed, "is the same reason you shouldn't be blaming yourself." I just stared at him for a long moment, trying to process what he had said. "You're the victim, Jude. Don't go blaming yourself where there's no blame to be assigned." We were quiet for a long moment as he watched me absorb everything.

"When did you get so deep?" I asked him with a small smile.

"It's the drugs," He said with a wink.

"Tommy?"

"Hm?"

"I feel a little better now." I told him and he smiled at me. I got out of my chair and climbed into the bed with him. Tommy wrapped his arms around me and I curled up next to him, my head laying on his right, uninjured shoulder.

"You want to talk about it?" Tommy asked me, kissing the top of my head.

"No." I whispered, just wanting to be with Tommy. Tommy sighed and I felt it more than I heard it.

"I think that you should talk to the psychiatrist." Tommy stated, slowly his voice sounding tentative as he spoke. I sat up and looked down at him, surprised by his words.

"I'm not crazy." I stated, probably harsher than I meant.

"I know. But Jude…sometimes people need help." He stated, reaching over and taking my hand in his. "And it's ok to ask for it."

"I just…I don't want to talk to some…shrink about" I shuddered.

"I know," Tommy said, giving me a sad, understanding look. "I'd feel the same way."

"Then why are"

"Because I care about you," Tommy said, caressing my hand. "And I think it'd help you more to talk to someone than to bottle everything up."

"I got you," I whispered and he gave me a sad smile.

"You do, but I'm not a professional." Tommy said and I opened my mouth to argue and he continued before I could get a syllable out. "If roles were reversed, you'd be telling me the same thing." He pointed out and I frowned. I know he's right. Deep down, I knew I needed to do this. But I felt uncomfortable about talking to someone about Damien and everything that happened. It'd be weird.

"I'll think about it." I told him and Tommy nodded.

"That's all I ask." I took a deep breath and changed the subject.

"How's your shoulder?"

"I don't really feel it," He said honestly. "That is, until I move it. Then it hurts like a mother fucker."

"Then don't move it." I said with a smile and he rolled his eyes.

"Thank you oh wise one." Tommy said sarcastically. "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Oh…I don't know." I said grinning. I adjusted myself and leaned into him and kissed him. Tommy returned it and I felt complete for the first time in a while.

"Oh!" I said, pulling away from the kiss. Tommy looked a little annoyed, but waited for me to say what I suddenly remembered. "I don't know if you remember…"

"Remember what?"

"That my Dad found out about us?"

"Come again?" Tommy said, looking confused. I sighed and situated myself beside him, supporting myself by my elbows.

"Before the infamous hall incident, he came in to talk to me." I stated and Tommy frowned, and I knew he was trying to recall what I was talking about. "I was going to leave with him, but you woke up before I left. Said that you loved me and I returned it." Silence stretched between us and I bit my lip as I waited for his reaction.

"I don't remember that."

"You were pretty out of it." I stated and he nodded.

"Your dad heard I take it?"

"Yeah." I said, feeling anxious about how he was going to handle the news.

"What'd he say?" Tommy asked, looking worried.

"We didn't get to it." I said honestly. "And I haven't really been too anxious to bring it back up again." Tommy nodded and didn't say anything more. "I'm sorry," I said, feeling tears sting my eyes. "I know we were going to wait until we knew how serious this was going to be, but…"

"Jude," Tommy said, giving me a soft look. "Don't worry about it." He said, reaching up to caress my cheek. "We were going to have to tell people eventually."

"I know, it's just"

"Jude?"

"Hm?"

"It's not that big of a deal…" Tommy stated. "Unless your Dad decides he's going to kill me. That could be a problem."

"He doesn't exactly think that highly of you," I stated, feeling concerned. "Dad wasn't at all happy when you started dating Sadie." Tommy winced and I looked at him in questioning.

"I know," He said and shook his head. "We'll talk to him."

"We?"

"Yes, we." He said with a grin. "That's what is said when two people are together." I rolled my eyes at him and he smiled at me.

"Are you sure you're ok with this?" I asked and he nodded.

"Jude, I love you." He stated bluntly. "I wanted to wait because I didn't want my reputation to damage yours." He said with a sigh. "When I get out of here, we'll talk to your dad."

"I'm scared about that." I said honestly and he coved my hand with his. "What if"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to him." Tommy said, not looking all that confident himself.

I nodded and resettled myself back on his chest. "I love you Tommy." I whispered, his fingers playing with my hair.

"I love you too, Jude." Tommy said softly and I felt a smile come to my lips. I don't think I'll ever grow tired of hearing those words from him. My eyes started to grow heavy and before I knew it, they slid closed and I fell into the darkness of blissful sleep.


	54. Chapter 52

**A/N: **Big thanks to Chrissie (feelmybones) and all her wonderful help on this chapter. Without her, the Jommy ending would have been slightly less Jommy. So kudos for Chrissie for suggesting the movie scene (I thought of the movie, lol!) Anyway, sorry it's been so long. Life and all that got in my way. Drama drama drama. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! I probably got two or three more to go before the end.

* * *

**Chapter 52**

"So, you excited?" I asked as I stepped into the room and walked over to where Tommy was sitting up on the hospital bed.

"About…?" I rolled my eyes and gave him a look that told him to stop playing dumb. Apparently, Tommy wasn't able to read facial expressions because he still looked at me quizzically.

"Going home, duh!" I said sitting down next to him.

"And what's so exciting about that?" Tommy asked me, looking kind of bored. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and he gave me a raised eyebrow.

"Well," I said, dragging out the word. "Someone has to play nurse."

"Oh really?" Tommy asked me, his eyes darkening slightly.

"Mmmmhm."

"Didn't know you were so kinky, Harrison." He said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and pulled away from him.

"I didn't mean it like that you perv!" I yelled at him and he laughed as I glared at him.

"There's no one else I'd rather have play nurse for me." Tommy said, failing to keep any innuendo out of the comment.

"If you're gonna be like that then" I started to get up and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"I'm sorry," Tommy murmured, kissing my cheek. "I love you." He told me and I rolled my eyes.

"You're only saying that so-"

"It's true." Tommy told me, kissing my neck and I felt my eyes flutter close. "I love you so much, Jude Harrison." He murmured into my neck, causing me to shiver. Tommy sat up and pulled me closer and kissed me and I nearly melted.

"Ahem." I my eyes snapped open and I pulled away from Tommy, recognizing that voice. I turned away from Tommy and confirmed what I thought.

"Um…Hi, Dad." I managed, licking my lips nervously and scooting a little away from Tommy.

"Jude." My Dad said, disapproval evident in his voice. Dad looked past me and at Tommy. "Tom."

"Mr. Harrison." Tommy responded with a nod and I could hear the nervousness in his voice. Silence stretched between us and I shifted uncomfortably. I kept looking back and forth between Dad and Tommy, not able to get a read on what was going through either of their heads. Dad didn't look angry, just…Dad-like. Tommy's face went stoic and I couldn't get anything from him. I bit my lip in concentration for a moment and sighed.

"Dad, I know what this must look like"

"Like my daughter's producer kissing his artist?" Dad asked, not looking away from Tommy. "Taking advantage of a teenage"

"Mr. Harrison, with all due respect"

"If you truly respected me, Tommy, you'd stay away from my under-aged daughter." Tommy winced slightly and I felt my own anger rising.

"Dad-"

"Jude, stay out of this." I pursed my lips and fumed.

"Mr. Harrison, I really don't believe anyone could ever take advantage of Jude. She's too…independent."

"Dad," I said calmly, surprising myself. Both Dad and Tommy looked over at me. "I'm 17 years old." I stated. "I think I can make my own decisions by now." I looked directly in my dad's eyes. "And I don't see what another 7 months or so would do to change how I make them." Dad just continued to stare at me a moment, considering my words. I glanced over at Tommy and saw him giving me a small smile and I reached over and took his hand in mine. "I love Tommy, and I always have. I know what I'm doing."

Dad looked at Tommy and me and then sighed heavily.

"I know that he's always made you happy Jude, but he's also broken your heart a few times too."

"Mr. Harrison, I know it seems odd to say, but a year ago…hell probably even a couple months ago, I wasn't ready for this." He looked at me and smiled a moment before looking away and back at Dad. "I had to grow up a bit, I guess." Tommy hesitated a moment and continued. "I can't promise I won't hurt your daughter, no one is perfect, but I can promise I'd never intentionally hurt her."

Silence stretched between us as Dad took everything in. He sighed finally and smiled a bit, shaking his head.

"I hope I don't live to regret this"

I smiled widely, leaped off the bed and hugged Dad.

"Thank you," I said, pulling away from my dad.

"Just…be careful." Dad told me and I nodded at him.

"You hurt my daughter, and I reserve the right to make sure you never live to break another heart again." Dad said, looking over my shoulder at Tommy. I turned my head around in time to see Tommy sigh and nod.

I turned away from Dad and crossed back over to Tommy. I wrapped my arms around him, careful to avoid his shoulder, and he returned it. I let my arms fall and we smiled at each other a moment before I sat down next to him, looking back at my dad. The door opened and Tommy's doctor walked into the room, a chart in hand.

"Ah, Mr. Quincy, how are you doing today?" He asked, walking further into the room.

"Ready to go home." Tommy stated and the doctor smiled.

"I just need you to sign these forms, and wait for the nurse to come back up with your scripts and you're free to go." The doctor handed the clipboard over to Tommy and looked between Dad and Me. "You going home with these folks?"

"Oh, no, I'm going to stay with him." I said automatically and the doctor nodded before leaving the room.

"You're what?" Dad asked, his voice eerily calm. Oops. I might have forgotten to ask Dad…or tell him previously. Tommy looked up from whatever document he was reading and just looked at me.

I sighed and looked away from Tommy.

"Dad, someone needs to stay with Tommy and make sure he doesn't hurt himself, so I"

"You are not staying with Tommy." Dad stated and I rolled my eyes.

"Dad, it's not like we're gonna be having sex." I stated matter-of-factly. Dad just stared at me like I just told him I grew a penis and Tommy made a strangled noise next to me. I turned and looked at him and went back to whatever it was he was reading, not meeting my gaze.

"Jude, I"

"Dad," I said calmly. "Tommy is injured, and I'm partially at fault for it," I stated with a deep breath. "Let me do this."

"Jude, Tommy could stay with us…" Dad said and I sighed.

"Right, with Sadie around all the time, I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

Dad didn't say anything for a long while and the only sound was the scratching of Tommy's pen as he signed something.

"Alright," Dad said, closing his eyes. "You can stay with Tommy for as long as the doctor thinks he needs someone to stay with him."

"Dad,"

"Jude…I love you honey," Dad said, opening his eyes and looking straight at me. "Don't disappoint me." He stated a moment. I nodded, and Dad said his goodbye and left us alone. Silence fell between Tommy and me as he finished reading and signing.

"You weren't serious about the no sex thing, were you?" Tommy asked suddenly. I turned and looked at him, an incredulous look filling my face. Tommy just stared back at me questioningly.

"Ulgh!" I yelled and reached over and gave him a playful shove. Tommy winced at the action and I instantly felt bad for the action. "Oh my god, Tommy, I'm so sorry, I forgot about"

"It's fine…" He said with a little difficulty. "So you were serious?"

"Tommy, you can't barely take a playful shove, I'm not going to have sex with you anytime soon." I stated bluntly and he sighed. "Besides…" I said looking away from him. "I don't know if…" I trailed off, and mumbled off the last part. "I'm ready yet."

Tommy didn't say anything for a long moment and I looked up briefly to see he had closed his eyes for a moment. I felt my heart sink and I looked back to the floor, biting my lip to keep myself from crying. Tommy reached over and lifted my chin to meet my eyes. "I love you, and we got time." He said, smiling at me warmly. I felt my heart melt and he leaned down and touched his lips to mine.

"Awwwwwww!" I heard a voice say. Tommy and I pulled away and looked over at the old nurse who was beaming at us. "It's so refreshing to see young love, blossoming on the way to marriage."

I just stared at the woman, unable to figure out how to answer her. Tommy just beamed at the woman, wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

"She's the love of my life," Tommy said. "She's my whole world, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her." Tommy turned away from the nurse and looked at me. "Right honey?" He asked.

I just stared, speechless at him but the nurse saved me from needing to respond.

"He's adorable." She told me, in a stage whisper and Tommy just grinned. "Don't lose him." She stated, handing Tommy a bag, which presumably held his prescriptions and left the room.

"You hear that, I'm adorable." Tommy said with a smirk.

"Yes, you are." I said, smiling and leaning into him. Tommy just smirked more and I whispered into his ear "Adorably lame." I said, jokingly pulling away with a small smile. Tommy's face fell and he pouted at me. I reached up and caressed his cheek. "You know I love you." I said, looking into his blue eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, so you say." Tommy said half heartedly. I rolled my eyes at him.

"OK, fine, you're the most adorable manly man around." I said, with a laugh. "That better?"

"If you weren't laughing, probably." Tommy said, shaking his head at me. I rolled my eyes and he smiled at me.

"You ready to go home?" I asked him and he looked around and then back at me.

"Uh, yeah." He stated like it was the dumbest question he'd ever heard. I shook my head and got up from the bed. Tommy followed, moving carefully so he didn't move his shoulder too much. He fought tooth and nail and finally got the hospital staff to forgo the no wheelchair thing as long as he signed his life away and agreed to go out with an orderly and a security guard.

We dropped off the paperwork at the nurse's station, waited for our going home committee, as Tommy dubbed them, and left the hospital. As Tommy got into my car, he groaned.

"What?" I asked him, getting into the drivers seat.

"I survive getting stabbed, only to die on my way home." He said with a sigh. I turned and glared at him as I put my key in the ignition and turned it.

"I'm not that bad." I stated, miffed he was still holding a grudge against my driving. I was 16! And learning how to drive a stick. It wasn't my fault the gear shift stuck and I looked down to move it and ended up on the sidewalk. Though the look on Tommy's face made it worth it. I smiled at the memory.

"Uh…Jude, you are that bad." Tommy stated.

"It was one time." I said dramatically, putting my car in drive and pulling away from the hospital doors. "And they say women hold a grudge."

"You almost killed a dog!" Tommy yelled. "And do you know the damage that would have done to the car?!"

"Tommy." I said matter-of-factly. "This is my car. I can drive it. Chill."

He just glared at me and sighed heavily before closing his eyes.

"Just don't kill us on the way home."

"Keep that up and I just might." I muttered, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the street.

We made it back to Tommy's without any further incident. Neither of us were further hurt and no one was killed, almost killed, and I didn't even go up on the sidewalk or anything, despite Tommy's thoughts that I would. We went inside and settled in on the couch. Tommy was leaning with his head against my shoulder, dosing on and off while I flipped through the channels to find something on. I had finally settled on 10 Things I Hate About You. No matter how many times I saw the movie, I still loved it to pieces.

As I watched it, I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to keep my touches light so it didn't wake him up. Though he was doing better than he was, the meds still made him tired and the wound still hurt him if he moved certain ways.

My favorite part of the movie came on and I turned my attention away from Tommy to watch it critically. It was when Kat was in the soccer field and Patrick sings to her over the stadium speakers. I felt this smile grow on my face as I watched the scene, feeling my heart melt at the lyrics.

"You're just too good to be true.."

I looked over and saw that Tommy was looking at me, a smile on his face as he sang along sleepily with the movie lyrics.

"Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God that I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you…"

I smiled at Tommy and turned my head and kissed him deeply. He returned the kiss. We separated after a while and smiled at each other.

"That," I said smiling. "Was adorable." I told him and he laughed, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to him. We settled in and watched the end of the movie together.


	55. Chapter 53

**A/N: **OK, there will definately be one more chapter and then an epilogue. It's official as of today after I worked out this chapter and still needed one more to finish wrapping things up. There's just...a lot here for the characters so there'll be another chapter to finish it up and then epilogue:D And as of this point, I have no plans of writing a sequal. Maybe a season four... but definately finishing Black Sunday. Glad you all enjoyed the last chapter and now, for one of the chapters you've all been waiting for! Enjoy...I hope.

I've been staying at Tommy's for a week. Overall, he wasn't in much pain anymore and could do most things for himself but I didn't want to leave him just yet. It was comforting to be with him and in his constant presence.

Over the weekend, Tommy had convinced me to talk to someone about everything that had happened. I was leery and reluctant, but when I sat down on the therapists couch for the first time yesterday, I realized just how much I needed it. I wasn't crazy, but there was so much going on in my life that I needed help to process, to make sense out of everything and deal with it.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when two arms wrapped around me.

"Hey," Tommy's voice whispered in my ear, pulling me closer to him.

"Hey," I managed to breathe out. He kissed my shoulder and then rest his chin on the top of my head.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Tommy asked me. I smiled to myself as I tilted my head back to look up at him.

"About how you were right."

"I'm always right." He stated matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes.

"Right, I forgot." I said sarcastically. "Silly me."

"I'll forgive you this time." He said smiling knowingly at me.

Comfortable silence stretched between us and we stayed like that, me in his arms for several beats. I let out a sigh and turned in his arms to face him.

"Are we ever…" I bit my lip in nervousness.

"Ever going to…?"

"Talk." I stated, looking into his eyes. "Damien knew you." I whispered. Tommy reached out and touched my cheek.

"If you want to." Tommy said, giving me a sad smile. I nodded and took a deep breathe.

"Yeah, I need to know." I told him and he nodded. He reached down and took my hand in his and led me over to the couch. We sat down and faced each other and he was silent a moment, probably trying to figure out where in the story to begin.

"Growing up a twin was always kinda rough." Tommy stated simply. "It was always Tommy and Chris, Chris and Tommy. I don't think I can remember a time in my childhood when it wasn't that way." He frowned and shifted slightly and looked into my eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but"

"You wanted to be you."

"Exactly." He said with a deep breath. "Needless to say, I was the typical rebel teenager, but before then…" He sighed and shook his head. "I met Damien and his friends one day after school. Chris and I always walked home with another group of friends. Whatever reason, that day I decided to take my own way home. I ran into Damien and his buddies on the way back and"

"Fell into the wrong crowd?"

"Kind of." Tommy said with a shrug.

"Damien and his friends were the kind of kids everyone stayed away from; the poor kids from the bad side of town. And I was the rich kid who practically had it all. Anyway, I don't know how long I was with the group, just talking when Chris and our friends walked by. They asked me what I was doing hanging with them and I made a choice…"

"Damien and his group." Tommy nodded.

"I wasn't friends with them very long really. Just long enough to get into enough trouble to get kicked out of school and drafted into Boyz Attack. Never saw any of them again." He shrugged and I frowned.

"It's just…so weird." I said, shaking my head. "That he'd be someone you once knew." Tommy was silent for a moment and looked away from me. "Tommy?" Was he hiding something from me? "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing," He said giving me a smile. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek and I just stared suspiciously at him. "Jude, I didn't have anything to do with that." He looked away from my eyes and I knew he knew something.

"Tommy, what…" I couldn't finish my sentence. My throat had closed up and tears sprang my eyes. What was going on? I wondered.

"Jude, I.." He took a deep breath and looked back into my eyes. He reached out and took my hands in his. "I know who did." He said, his eyes looking grave.

"Who?" I asked automatically.

"Do you really want to know?" Tommy asked me, his eyes searching mine.

"Yes, Tommy." I said, staring at him like he was crazy. "I need to know who did this." I said and he nodded.

"Darius." He said, his voice filled with anger and I just gaped at him.

"Darius?" I whispered. "No, Tommy he…he wouldn't…"

"He did, Jude." Tommy let go of my hands and leapt off the couch and started pacing the room, his jaw working in anger and I just stared at him in disbelief. "He fucking paid Damien to take those pictures the night of your release party." He continued to pace, his voice raising in anger as he talked and I couldn't take my eyes away from him. I knew Tommy wouldn't hurt me, but part of me was afraid of how angry he was. "He needed to control you, he said. So he paid that sick, mother fucking bastard to take those pictures so Darius could fix the problem and you'd have to do whatever the hell he said in return." Tommy stopped pacing and clenched his fists. "But his plan fucking backfired," He laughed bitterly and resumed pacing. "You ran off, Damien demanded more money and became uncontrollable." Tommy stopped pacing, facing me a moment. "And then when Darius refused to pay him more…" Tommy spun around and hit the wall behind him. I jumped at the sudden noise and couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat. I heard the hiss of pain come from him and saw him hold his shoulder. I leaped up from the couch, forgetting my fear and rushed over to him.

"I'm ok," He said, his voice sounding tight.

"No, you're not." I said, moving standing behind him and moved his hand away from his shoulder so I could lift up his shirt and see if he pulled the remaining stitches. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Well, you got lucky." I told him, letting go of his shirt and stepping away from him, crossing my arms over his chest. Tommy turned around to face me and I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I lost it." Tommy said, his voice soft and low.

"It's…it's ok. Just…I'm glad you didn't do yourself any more damage." I said, taking his good arm and leading him over to the couch. I made him sit and left the room and headed into the bathroom, and searched the medicine cabinet for the pain pills he was given and shook two out and walked back into the living room, grabbed his hand and put them into it before heading into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I handed him the glass wordlessly and he took the meds with no comment.

"I'm sorry," He said after a moments pause. I let out the breathe I didn't realize I was holding with a sigh. I just shrugged in response. He sighed looked up at me but I wouldn't meet his eyes.

Darius paid Damien to keep me in control. Darius, someone I had grown to trust, to rely on. He was like…my second father most of the time. I just…I couldn't wrap my head around this. And Tommy…I shivered. I had never actually been afraid of him before.

"Jude?" Tommy said, his voice low and quiet. Almost broken sounding. I lifted my eyes to meet his. "I…I shouldn't have told you." He said closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I shouldn't have just thrown this at you."

"No," I said shaking my head. "No, I wanted to know. I needed to know." I said. I sighed and reached out and touched his cheek. "I just…I don't know what to do."

Tommy turned his head and kissed my palm and my eyes slipped close at the small gesture of love. I felt his hand over mine and we joined hands, interlocking our fingers automatically. Tommy gave me a small tug and I sat down next to him. He gave me a sad smile and kissed my forehead.

"I wish I could have protected you from this." He murmured. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him and he did the same. I lay my head in the crook of his shoulder and we sat there like that for a long time. Tears started to spring to my eyes as everything just…hit me. I pulled Tommy closer as I started to cry. He pulled me to him and murmured comforting words to me. The words themselves didn't really help, it was the sound of his voice and his arms around me that comforted me the most. I had a choice to make and it scared me. But I knew I could get through it though if I had Tommy and my friends.


	56. Chapter 54

**A/N: **And we're almost there:D I'm glad you guys have been hangin in and been enjoying my ever so slow wrap up of this fic. I'm pretty sure the next one is definitely going to be the end. I don't think there's any more loose ends, so if there's something you don't remember being addressed or whatever, let me know and I'll see if I can work it in. It's weird to think the last chapter is just a little bit away…so anyway, my goal is, to post the last chapter on the one year anniversary, which – from the top of my head – is august 21. Just so I can say I worked on it for a year, haha. Anyway, I hope you guys all enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 54**

"Where are you going?"

Tommy stopped and looked up from his shoes which he was having minor difficulties tying, but nothing major. It'd been almost a week after I learned Darius had orchestrated my kidnapping and Tommy was getting back his privileges from the doctors. He was supposed to still take it easy, but he could drive short distances and the wound had almost closed up. His shoulder was sore from the muscle damage, but over time and with physical therapy, that would go away.

"I got a meeting at G Major," Tommy stated, turning his attention back to the laces as he talked.

"About?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. Tommy sighed, and stood up, his shoes tied as he all but rolled his eyes at me.

"My job," He said, sounding irritated. "And before you say it, _Mom_ I'm not going to work, and I'm not going to be there long."

"No need to get pissy," I snapped. "Sorry for worrying about you. I'll be sure not to next time."

Tommy sighed and came over to me and went to take my hand but I turned away from him. He sighed again.

"Jude," He said, his voice softer this time. "I'm sorry," He said, touching my shoulder and I didn't shrug it away. "I'm just…going crazy being stuck here all the time."

"Right," I said, turning around to face him. "And you're taking it out on me."

"I'm sorry," He said, looking sincere.

"Because you blame me for"

"No." He said harshly, cutting me off. "I don't blame you for this."

"Riiight," I said and he closed his eyes a moment before opening them again.

"Jude," He said, his voice soft but firm. "I don't blame you for any of this. I've told you that before, and I'm sorry if it seems like I do, but I don't. I know I shouldn't be taking my frustration out on you," He sighed. "But I'm not use to this."

"I know." I whispered looking away from his eyes. "I'm not either." He tilted my chin up to look him in the eyes and he gave me a puppy-dog look that melted my heart.

"Are we ok?"

"Yes." I said, nodding and he smiled before bending down and kissing me. "But," I said, pulling away from the kiss and Tommy looked a bit put off. "you're taking me with you."

"Jude, I don't need"

"I want to talk to Darius." I stated and Tommy's eyes widened in surprise.

"I…are you sure that's…smart?" Tommy asked, stammering slightly. I shook my head.

"I really don't know," I told him, biting my lip nervously. "But I need to."

Tommy nodded in understanding and I was glad he understood why I needed to do this. I didn't want to. I'd much rather just avoid Darius Mills for the rest of my life if I could, but I had to make a decision. And my first one was to talk to Darius. I still didn't know if I wanted to leave G Major. A small part of me loved that place and understood why Darius did it, sick as it was. The rest of me, the majority, wanted to never see him again. To crawl in a hole and never come out of it again.

"You ready?" Tommy asked me, cocking his head to the side slightly as he studied me. I nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Yeah," I said, turning away from him and grabbing my purse off the table by the door and slipping my shoes on my feet. When I finished, I looked back up to see Tommy was still watching me. He gave me a small smile and held his hand out to me. I grinned and took it and we left his apartment and headed towards G Major, my heart racing the whole time.

- - - - - - - -

We pulled into G Major in silence. Tommy killed the engine and we sat there a moment, staring at the building. Tommy reached over and gave my hand a squeeze. I looked over at him and gave him a thankful smile. I use to love coming to G Major. It was my home. More of a home than my own when Dad left. And now…now it felt far from it. It loomed before me, taunting me. Daring me to enter into it and face my demons head on.

Tommy squeezed my hand again and I lifted my gaze to meet his.

"You ready?" He asked me and I shook my head. I don't think I'd ever be ready for this.

"No." I said honestly. "But it needs to be done."

He gave me a proud smile and leaned over and kissed my cheek. When he pulled away, we both opened our doors and got out of his Porsche before heading towards the building, his hand taking mine in his again as we moved.

The lobby of G Major Records was eerily empty as Tommy and I strode through the front door. Sadie must have had the day off or was off to lunch because she wasn't behind the reception desk when we entered. Tommy and I headed to Darius's office and paused outside the closed door. Tommy reached up and knocked as he opened it. He let go of my hand and gestured me inside as he followed me in. Darius was behind his desk, talking on the phone. He looked up when Tommy and I entered his office. He held up a finger, in the universal sign for one minute and motioned for us to take a seat. I hesitated a moment, never feeling more nervous walking into D's office. Not even when I was being released from my contract when I sang My Sweet Time on Darius's boat. Tommy sensed my anxiety and laid a hand on the small of my back, offering me a bit of comfort as we moved to the seats before Darius's desk.

Darius finished his call not to long after we sat down and he looked over at us both for a moment before he clasped his hands together and set them down on the desk.

"Jude," Darius said, with a warm smile. "Didn't think you'd be back in the studio so soon."

"Yeah, me neither." I said, staring pointedly at him. Darius turned his attention back to Tommy, unfazed by my stare.

"How're you doing T?" He asked Tom and Tommy sighed.

"Pretty good, considering." He stated and Darius nodded.

"D, I"

"I know." I said, interrupting Tommy. Darius looked at me, confusion in his eyes. And Tommy gave me a sharp look, which I ignored, not taking my focus off of Darius. Darius just continued to smile warmly.

"Know what?" He asked.

"All of it." I stated, shifting in my seat slightly. "About Damien. The pictures. All of it."

Darius's smile fell slightly and he looked over at Tommy before he looked back at me.

"Jude,"

"No," I said, leaning forward. "I want you to know, I know." I stated simply. "I don't like what you did, and frankly, I'm pretty sure I have the power to take you to court and ruin you." Darius didn't say anything. He clenched his jaw, sending Tommy a narrowed look. Tommy didn't look phased. He was probably use to Darius's anger by now. "But, I don't know." I said honestly with a shrug.

"What do you want?" Darius asked me and I laughed.

"You think you're gonna pay me off?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows. Tommy's hand went to my shoulder and I turned to look at him. His gaze was sympathetic as he stared at me and I turned away from him and back to Darius. "Wasn't that what got you in this mess to begin with?"

"Jude, I never meant for any of this to happen." Darius stated, his voice even and flat. He didn't betray anything. Ever the business man, Darius Mills was.

"But it did." I snapped. "It got me kidnapped and Tommy almost killed." Darius didn't say anything in return. "What would you have done if Tommy would have died? Hu, D?" I asked, my voice cracking. "Or what about me?"

"Jude, I never thought it would come to that. I wouldn't have let it get to that."

"You let it get this far."

"Jude, just think of the publicity this has brought you, your record sales have"

"Do you hear yourself D?" Tommy spoke up before I could. "You risked Jude's life, and mine too, and all you can say for yourself is that you're happy with the outcome because sales increased?" Tommy shook his head. "That's sick man. Even for you."

"It's the biz, T." Darius stated simply. "You know how it goes." I just stared at him a long moment, sickened to the depths of my soul. The man really didn't have a heart. He could have cared less if Damien had killed me or Tommy, or even both, if it meant good record sales.

Before I could track it, Tommy had leaped out of his chair and was moving around the desk. Darius stood up and the two men stood toe-to-toe. Though Darius was a slightly bigger man than Tommy, he wasn't intimidated.

"Yeah, I know how the biz is." Tommy said, a pleasant smile on his face. Darius smiled at Tommy in return but it didn't last long. I didn't even see Tommy move, but I saw Darius's head snap to the side and the crack of bones breaking. "That's just how it is." Tommy said with a smirk. He turned away from Darius and walked over to me and grabbed my hand, wordlessly pulling me out of my chair and out the door.

"You shouldn't have done that." I told Tommy when we were outside of G Major.

"He had it coming," Tommy said, his voice twinged with anger. As we crossed the parkinglot, I moved so I stood before him, taking his other hand in mine. Tommy stopped and sighed as I looked at his right hand, which was now an angry red.

"Tommy, you hurt your hand."

"I'm fine," He said through clenched teeth and I looked up at him, noticing the slight pain lines around his eyes and remembering back to a week before when he'd hit the wall, with considerably less force and had been sore for a couple days.

"No, you're not." I said firmly, touching the injured hand carefully and he pulled it away from me. "Let's get you home so we can ice that." I told him and he sighed before reaching into his pocket and handing me the keys. I took them from him and we walked silently over the Porsche and got in before I pulled out of his parking spot and left G Major behind us.

- - - - - - - -

We made it home with no incident, got Tommy some ice and a pain pill and were now sitting on the couch, Tommy gingerly holding a bag of ice on his sore hand. I watched him, Tommy not meeting my eyes as he stared off in the distance. Tears started to fill my eyes as I thought about what had happened at G Major. I honestly didn't know what to expect out of the meeting, but I hadn't been expecting that. Not even close. I covered my face in my hands as tears started to fall. I had trusted Darius. I freaking trusted him with my career, my life…everything. He was like…almost like a second father. I knew G Major was first on his list and his many other business dealings. I knew he had pulled some shady shit in the past, and people had warned me about Darius Mills. Tommy warned me about him, but I was too stupid to listen. And now…

"Jude?"

I looked up at Tommy, who had scooted closer to me.

"I was so stupid, Tommy." I said, sniffling. "I should have listened." Tommy just looked at me quizzically and I shook my head.

"About Darius," I said with a sigh. "You told me he'd do something like this, I didn't listen"

"Jude," Tommy said firmly. I looked into his eyes. "I never thought Darius would do something this extreme."

"But"

"Jude, no one could have predicted this one." Tommy told me, reaching out with his left arm and pulling me to him. I lay my head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry that it was something like this…I never dreamt Darius had this in him."

"What am I going to do, Tommy?" I asked him, looking up at him. "How am I suppose to still work with him?"

"You don't."

"Tommy, I'm under"

"Jude, I'm pretty sure orchestrating a conspiracy plot that ended in your kidnapping is enough to get you out of a contract. Even one with Darius Mills." Tommy said seriously and I sighed. He did have a point when he said it like that.

"Thank you, Tommy." I whispered. "Thank you for being there for me." I said, snuggling closer to him.

"I only wish I had been there before." He murmured, running his good hand through my hair.

"You couldn't, you had to go"

"That's, not what I was talking about…kind of." Tommy said, touching my cheek and I stared at him quizzically. "I'm sorry, Jude." He said and I knew he meant the words but I had no idea what he was sorry for. "I'm sorry for letting Chris get in between us." He said and I sat up to look him in the eyes, surprised he was bringing this up. Tommy had always balked at any mention of Chris and what had almost happened in Montana, and now he was bringing it up.

"You were hurt-"

"Jude, I…I was jealous." He stated, looking away from me, but not before I caught the sheepish look in his eyes.

"Jealous?"

He nodded and sighed before looking back at me.

"Because I wanted to be the one to…" He gestured vaguely, not finishing his thought verbally.

"I thought you were."

"I know," He said with a sigh. "And again, I took some of my anger out on you when I was more angry at myself for being so bothered by it."

"It's ok,"

"No," He said shaking his head. "It's not." He gave me a small smile. "I shouldn't have been so bothered by it."

"Tommy?" I said and he looked me into the eyes. "Remember when you dated Sadie?" I asked him and he winced. "I get it."

"OK, so how about we both agree to stay away from each other's siblings?" Tommy asked, raising an eyebrow and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Deal." I said and he smiled at me.

"I love you, Jude Harrison." Tommy said, leaning in to kiss me.

"I love you too," I managed to get out before his lips touched mine.


	57. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **Lyrics are owned by Alexz Johnson. I just borrowed them.

**Author Note 1: **OK, cuz this was asked in a review and it's a pretty legitimate question, I figure I'll clear it here for finality reasons. Yes Jude did almost sleep with Chris – not Tommy – in Montana. I must say, props to the person who questioned it. I never even thought to spin it the other way. And I have to admit, for a half second, I went "hmmmm, that's a good twist to pull" but then discarded it. Mainly because it'd ruin a lot of what I've written from that point. So props to the person who suggested it. It almost became a reality, but no. If I would have pulled that, it would have been 10 chapters ago. Or earlier.

**Author Note 2 (Thank yous): **This is it kiddies! The last chapter. Let's all have a moment of silence. Kidding. Kinda, haha. Thank you to those of you who've been with me since the beginning. I really want to thank you; there's too many to name, and honestly, I appreciate all of you; even those who jumped on board last chapter, 10 chapters ago, or wherever you picked up and read probably hundreds of pages to catch up; also to the future people who read this fic and make it all the way through. All I gatta say is, you've definitely got some staying power if you're gonna/have done that. Big thanks goes out to Rockerbabe, my real life best friend who had to listen to me rant and rave for days (actually about a year) about this fic and it's plot. To Jude Quincy who helped me in the first half of this fic and letting me bounce ideas off of her and for her wonderful input and suggestions during the initial set up of this fic. It's appreciated guys. And lastly, to FeelMyBones who has been pushing for this epilogue ending for…a while, and for her other ideas and input that has helped make this a better story and ending and even though I "hate" her guts for reasons she knows why, I couldn't let this chapter go to waste.. If I forgot anyone else who contributed to this fic…well…I'm sorry and thank you as well. Anyway, enough with the "tears" and lets get on to the good stuff! What you've all been waiting for/dreading/reading for…The End of Running Back! I hope it don't disappoint!

**Author Note 3**: A year and a day later...it's FINISHED! **If you're getting a second alert, I'm sorry. I realized a bit too late FF.N cut out a few lyrics and a couple small paragraphs. Hopefully it's all fixed now. **

* * *

**Running Back  
****Epilogue  
****6 Months Later**

_The phone is off the hook _

"Happy Birthday, Love." I shivered as Tommy's breathe touched my skin and breathed into my ear. I turned around, and couldn't help but smile.

"18," I practically squealed out. He gave me a wolfish smile and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "It's finally here." Tommy hmmmed and kissed my cheek.

"What do you want for you birthday, Lady Harrison?" He asked me, turning his lips to my neck and sucking gently on the skin there. My eyes fluttered close and I found it hard to speak.

_  
And Jimmy's got a gun _

"Surprise me," I breathed out and he pulled away from my neck and looked into my eyes.

"What kind of a surprise?" He asked me, mischief glittering in his eyes and I couldn't have been happier. The last six months were rough, but we got through them. Tommy and I both left G Major. Darius wouldn't enforce the contract agreement if we agreed not to sue. It was quick and easy, and within two months, our contracts were voided, my tracks were released as three bonus tracks on a greatest hits album and I was moving on with my life.

_Sherry's in the river _

I was still talking to a therapist about everything, but I no longer woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat every night from nightmares about Damien killing Tommy. Now it was maybe once a week, sometimes not at all. Tommy's shoulder healed nicely. He still does therapy exercises to help with stiffness, but otherwise, he's fully recovered. Dad slowly accepted mine and Tommy's relationship. I know he still doesn't completely approve, but he doesn't get that stern dad look every time we went out and was even friendly with Tommy when he was at the house with us. __

And the river's gonna run again 

"A good surprise," I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. He returned the kiss, tightening his grip around my waist and pulling me closer to him so our bodies pressed together.

"Actually," Tommy said, pulling away from me. I sighed and pulled back away from him, but his grip didn't loosen around my waist as he held me. "I kinda already have a surprise for you." Tommy said, a slightly nervous look in his eyes. I felt an eyebrow rise in surprise.

"Oh?"

"Mmmm."

"Am I gonna like this surprise?" I asked him, smiling. I stood up on the tops of my toes and kissed the sensitive spot by his ear.

"I…uh…I hope so." Tommy stammered.

"Well, what is it?" I asked, going to kiss him again and Tommy pulled away and stepped back, letting his arms fall and I pouted as he moved away.

"Nu-uh. It's a surprise." He told me, smiling.

"When do I get this surprise?" I asked him and he smirked at me.

"It's a surprise." I rolled my eyes and he chuckled softly. "Come here." Tommy said, reaching into his pocket and I sighed and walked closer to him again. Tommy pulled out a black blindfold and held it up. I raised an eyebrow at him and couldn't resist.

"Kinky."

"I wish." He stated, holding up a finger and twirling it, indicating for me to turn around. I sighed and turned around so my back was to him. Moments later, the blindfold was over my eyes and secured behind my head. I could hear Tommy moving but wasn't exactly sure where he was.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked me but all I could see was darkness.

"11." I said dryly.

"Funny."

"I can't see anything." I stated and felt his hands on the top of my arms.

"Good, you're not supposed to." He said, and started to lead me forward. I walked slowly, tentatively, and Tommy guided me outside of his apartment. He held the door and locked it and as we were leaving his place, I knew just how much I trusted him. I didn't know that many people I'd let lead me to who only knew where blindfolded and not feel anything but calm. __

So you don't know where to go 

Tommy led me out to his car and helped me get buckled in before getting into his side and driving. We drove in silence for a long time, anticipation building inside me as we drove. Tommy held my left hand in his right as he navigated us through Toronto. Where was he taking me? I wondered several hundred times during the trip. After what felt like an eternity but had only been approximately 20 minutes, Tommy's car slowed to a stop and he killed the engine. He unbuckled himself and kissed my cheek.

_  
You don't know where to hide _

"I'll be right back," He whispered, and pulled away, leaving me alone inside the car. After Tommy had left, I felt nervous and panic ebb into my consciousness. I didn't like sitting blindfolded inside the car without him.

_  
Holding all your tears _

I don't know how long Tommy was gone but panic completely set in. I felt a whimper rise in my throat and reached up to take the blindfold off when the door opened and hands grabbed mine. I let out a terrified squeak and calmed down when I heard his voice.

"Hey," It was soft and comforting and I felt myself relax again. "You ok Jude?" Tommy asked me, his hands touching my cheeks and I realized I had been crying.

_  
Keeping all your pain inside _

"Tommy," I breathed out his name, reveling in his touch and having him near me again. "I just…I panicked a little." I said, feeling a little foolish and Tommy got me unbuckled and out of the car in a moment.

"You going to be ok for a couple more minutes?" He asked me, his breathe tingling against my skin as he talked. I nodded and I could feel his smile. He took my arm and guided me forward.

"Where are we?" I asked him and he tisked in response.

"You'll find out soon enough." He told me. I heard a door creak open and he led me inside. My curiosity peaked as the door swung shut behind us. "Stay here," He told me in an authoritative tone.

"Where am I going to go?" I muttered as I heard him moving around a bit around…wherever we were. I stood nervously by the door, my hands fidgeting and weight shifting to either hip as I stood, waiting for him to be ready for me. __

With your back against the wall 

"OK," Tommy said, sounding a bit breathless. There was something…different in his voice. Not entirely nervousness, but it almost seemed to be excited. Like a small child gets excited and I couldn't help but smile. Somehow, I knew this surprise was going to be a good one. Tommy took my arm and led me further into the place, guiding me away from objects I could bump into and moving slowly enough for me to be comfortable moving while being blindfolded. Tommy's arms gripped my arms and held me in place. "You ready?" He asked me quietly and I nodded, anticipation building as I felt Tommy's fingers slip under the blindfold and pull it off.

The sudden light when I opened my eyes burned and I had to close them again. I let out a hiss of pain and Tommy rubbed my arms comfortingly. After my eyes stopped burning, I took a couple deep breaths and opened them, slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the sudden light. Once everything came into focus, I let out a gasp and couldn't believe what I was seeing before me.

I turned to look at Tommy, unable to say anything, too many emotions coming over me. Surprise, happiness, regret, and shock. Tommy reached up and placed his hands on either side of my face, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs as he looked into my eyes.

_  
Heart fallen from your hand _

"Do you like it?" Tommy asked me, his eyes nervous as he gazed at me.

"Tommy…how…you did this?" He nodded and smiled at me in response. "A studio?" I asked, feeling a grin break across my features. I turned away from him and started to look around a bit. The place still needed work, that much was obvious. But so far, he had managed to recreate a place very similar to G Major's lay out, only marginally smaller. I felt tears sting my eyes as I looked around.

"Music has been a big part of our lives," Tommy started explaining as I continued to explore the area a bit, looking into doors to empty rooms, half finished studio areas, just trying to get a feel of the place. "I know it was hard for you to walk away from G Major, and I thought…" He took a deep breath and I looked back over at him from across the room. "this would be good for us."

"I love it." I said, tears falling from my eyes. I let out a small laugh as I continued to look around. "Tommy this…" I had no words to describe how I felt right now. I was so damn happy. I don't think I could have explained it in a way that did the feelings justice, but I felt like I was soaring. "this is amazing." Tommy beamed at my response and crossed the room to me. He held out his hand and I took it, still unable to stop smiling myself.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet," He said, grinning slyly at me and I quirked an eyebrow in interest.

_You throw it in the river _

"Oh really?"

"Really," Tommy said, bending down and kissing me quickly before pulling away to give me a teasing look.

"Then I guess you should show me then." I challenged him and he started walking us forward and I followed him. He led me down a hall I had missed in my earlier exploration and stopped by the second door.

"Open it," He told me, looking like a kid in a candy store. I couldn't help but smile at the way he was acting and did as instructed. I twisted the handle and opened the door and squealed, throwing my arms around him. Tommy returned the hug and I all but jumped up and down in his embrace. I pulled away and ran into the door, looking around at the equipment that filled the room.

"A finished studio!" I turned around and looked at Tommy who was leaning in the doorway, smiling at me. "I love you!" I yelled, running back over to him and kissing him fully on the lips. Tommy returned the kiss and I couldn't remember another time when I had been this happy. __

The river's gonna hide it again 

Tommy pulled away sooner than I liked and I was unable to wipe the grin off of my face.

"So, you only love me because of the studio?" He asked me, winking and I continued to grin at him.

"You know every girl loves a suga daddy." I said, grinning coyly at him. "I love it, I love you, I love…all of this!" I said happily, turning around to look back at the sound boards and then at the recording booth again, as if it might have disappeared during our conversation. I felt Tommy wrap his arms around my waist and pull me to him. __

But you are not alone 

"I'm glad," Tommy said, kissing the top of my head.

"You didn't have to do this." I stated, craning my neck up to look up at him. Tommy gave me another smile.

"I know, I wanted to." He told me, his eyes shining as he looked at me. "Besides, this…it's something I always wanted to do, and with everything with Darius…with you…it feels right." He told me, giving me another squeeze. "There's no one else I'd want to own a studio with."

_  
When you're not safe _

"Tommy," I whispered, turning around to hug him. Tears were filling my eyes and threatening to fall again.

_  
At home _

Tommy's arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek against it. I couldn't stop thinking about how amazing he is. About all the work he had put into this for me. All that he had given up to stand by me, to support me… I closed my eyes and tightened my hold around him and buried my face in his shoulder, inhaling his scent. I didn't know what I'd do without him. He was my lifeline, my best friend, love of my life, and as much as he infuriated me…there was no way I could imagine my life without him in it. __

And you're running back 

We stood like this for a long time, taking comfort in eachother's arms. Silence stretched between us, but no words needed to be said. It was part of what I loved about my relationship with Tommy. Words weren't always necessary.

_  
Running back _

Tommy lifted his head and changed his angle so his mouth was near my ear. "Want the grand tour?" He asked me, his voice quiet and husky as he spoke and I suppressed a shiver.

_While you're off track _

"Of course." I said, pulling back a bit so I could look into his eyes. Tommy smiled back at me and gave me a quick kiss before dropping his arms around my waist and I did the same. He took my right hand in his left and squeezed it gently as he led me through the small studio he bought, explaining what his plans were for the rest of the space and asking me what I thought about certain things along the way.

_Looking for a hope _

I was excited about our new studio. I was happy at the thought of being able to record again. To be able to be working with music on my own terms without having to worry about impressing anyone other than myself and my stubborn producer. I was liking the idea that the two of us could tackle this ourselves. Take the music industry by storm and give Big D a run for his money. Make him regret losing his best artist and producer.

_  
Or a house to call your own _

Once we were finished with the grand tour, I could almost picture the completed product. I could visualize studios being full in a couple years, talent scouts coming and going…Tommy and I both agreed we wanted to bring in new artists. People like me who were undiscovered and would probably never get a chance in hell. We wanted to stay small. We wanted to try and stay away from corporate drama as much as possible. And most of all, we wanted to enjoy making music again.

"You ready to go?" Tommy asked me and I looked around the empty future lobby and turned back to look at him.

"Honestly, no." I told him, unable to stop smiling still. "I could stay here forever." I told him and he smiled back at me.

"While I couldn't exactly say no…but I do have more plans for tonight." He stated and I looked sharply over at him.

"No, Tommy no, you can't…you've already done so much…"

"Jude, this studio…it's a gift for both of us. I want to take you out for your birthday." He told me, giving me his puppy dog look that he knew I couldn't resist.

_  
You need a phone _

"OK…but only if you promise I can come back." Tommy grinned at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Of course, Girl." Tommy murmured as he led me out of the studio, shutting the lights off as we went. He locked the doors on the way out and we headed back to his car, holding hands until we had to separate to go to our different sides.

_You feel all alone _

Tommy drove us back into Toronto, talking the whole way back about the studio and our plans. I couldn't help but think of when we could record again and finish what we started at G Major with my third album. Tommy surprised me by taking me to my favorite restaurant, a little family owned establishment with an atmosphere of romance but it wasn't a requirement to dress up. The best part was there rarely ever is a wait and the wait-staff were usually friendly and accommodating.

Dinner wasn't anything special, Just Tommy and I talking and enjoying each other's company and I loved the drama-free evening of my birthday. The first in a long time that wasn't filled with some kind of drama or fighting. It was just me and Tommy, and I was happy with that.

_Don't know where to start _

"I'll be right back," Tommy told me once we were finished with dinner and were talking about leaving.

"What for?" I asked him and he just smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I'll be back." He told me, grinning. "Don't be nosy." He told me sternly as he walked away from the table. I sighed and watched him go, a frown coming to my face. I hoped he didn't have anything else planned for us…for me. That studio was more than enough. Dinner was over the top. If he had anything else planned…

I sighed and shook my head. It was cute, how sweet and thoughtful he was being. He went above and beyond on this one, and I had no idea how I was ever going to repay him. As much as I loved him and how much he doted on me, I didn't want him to. I would be content just spending the day with him, writing a song or just enjoying each other's company. My 17th Birthday, at least the last half of it, was the constant proof of that.

_  
When you're falling apart _

Tommy came back a moment later and I looked over at him, trying to see if he'd give anything away. His eyes revealed nothing as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and fished out a few bills for a tip and set them on the table.

"You ready?" Tommy asked me, and I nodded. He smiled and gave me a sweeping bow and offering me his hand at the same time.

_  
And you need someone _

I couldn't help but giggle at his display. Tommy tilted his head up at me and grinned. I took his hand and he pulled me up with him.

_  
To hold your hand to cope _

Hand-in-hand, we left the small restaurant and walked down the sidewalk to Tommy's car. Night was starting to fall on Toronto as we walked, and I shivered, feeling the cool night air going through my sweater. Tommy pulled his hand from mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I noticed a couple people on the sidewalk look at us, a couple pointed fingers and I couldn't care less.

_  
You feel a little older _

I glanced up at Tommy but he didn't seem to notice the people looking in our direction; he was looking at me. He gave me a small smile and I returned it, leaning my head into his shoulder a moment later. Tommy turned his head and kissed the top of my head a moment.

_  
You need a shoulder _

We made it back to his car and Tommy unlocked and opened the passenger door for me. I kissed his cheek, my lips lingering longer than necessary, before sliding into the car. Tommy made sure I was situated before shutting the door, a habit he recently picked up. I remember back when we first met, he'd speed off well before I was situated or even had the door closed. I smiled to myself at the memories as Tommy got in on the other side. He looked at me a moment and cocked his head to the side.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, smiling at him. Tommy didn't look convinced as he put his key in the ignition and turned the key, the engine catching almost instantly.

_  
Oh no _

"What was that look for?" Tommy asked me as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking spot, heading back towards his place.

"I was just, thinking about when we first met and how you never waited for me to get situated in the car before speeding off, let alone holding the door open for me," I told him, turning my head to look at him, smiling slightly as his eyes grew thoughtful.

"I did?"

I nodded and reached over and patted his knee.

"It's ok," I told him and he shot me a glance out of the corners of his eyes. "We were usually running late anyway," I teased and he laughed slightly at my comment.

"You're probably right there," Tommy told me, reaching over with his right hand while his left stayed on the steering wheel and taking my hand in his, interlacing our fingers together.

_  
But you're not alone   
_

We drove the rest of the way back to the apartment in companionable silence. We walked hand-in-hand inside and went up in the elevator, stealing a quick kiss before arriving at his floor. Tommy moved a bit nervously as he walked down the hall to his place and I couldn't help but frown at him. I hope he wasn't planning something else. I thought to myself as he unlocked his apartment and waved me inside. I stepped into the doorway, not bothering to look inside as I toed off my shoes by the door. Tommy came in behind me and did the same, setting his keys down on the table by the door. I went to go into the apartment and froze with a gasp as I took in the place.

_  
What they will believe _

"Tommy," I breathed out, looking around the apartment. The whole place was lit by candlelight and someone had definitely done a lot of work cleaning the place up. Tommy wasn't a slob, he was pretty neat but he was a bachelor and he lived like one time to time. His apartment was spotless and every surface had candles lit, casting soft shadows around the apartment and causing the glass surfaces to glow.

"Jude," Tommy said so softly I almost wasn't sure he had spoken. He walked around in front of me and took my hands in his.

"Tommy, you didn't have to"

"I know, but Jude…" Tommy shook his head and leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closing as if he was preparing himself for something.

_  
And if you wanna change _

"Before you walked into my life, I was a mess." He said, his voice shaking slightly as he talked and I could feel my heart begin to race in my chest. Was he doing what I think he was doing? I wondered. "Jude…" He opened his eyes and looked into my eyes, squeezing my hands gently. "you saved me when no else thought I was worth saving."

_  
How it's meant to be _

"and I didn't deserve it…not after everything that's happened between us, but you've always had faith in me. You always believed in me and…you don't know how much that means to me." As he spoke, I felt tears begin to fill my eyes. Tommy caressed the tops of my hands and continued to speak. "Jude, you were the last person I ever thought I'd fall in love with."

_  
Even if they think you're strange _

"And no matter how hard I tried not to…I fell hard." Tommy lifted his forehead from mine and took a step back and then dropped down to one knee. I felt my breath catch in my throat and I felt tears begin to fall down my face. Oh. My. God.

_  
You wanna live a life _

"Jude, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't not fall in love with you. The harder I fought, the harder I fell." Tommy squeezed my hands again and took a deep breath. "I can't imagine the rest of my life without you in it."

_  
You need to break away _

"Jude Rita Harrison," Tommy said, looking directly into my eyes. "Will you marry me?" He asked and I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Emotions were built up in my throat and I couldn't talk. Tears were pouring down my face unchecked and all I could do was nod my head and smile. Tommy grinned back, getting up and pulling me to him before kissing me feverishly. I returned the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer to me. Tommy pulled away and reached into his pocket and slipped a ring onto my finger. I glanced down at it, not really caring what it looked like before I looked back at him, more tears coming to my eyes.

_  
Counting on your hands _

"Tommy," I choked out, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him in close to me again.

"I know this is soon and you're only 18, but" Tommy stopped talking when I kissed him, softly this time, reveling in the feel of his lips against mine. Tommy returned the kiss, deepening it a little bit, causing my head to spin and my knees to grow weak. If it wasn't for his arms around me, I probably would have sunk to the floor.

_  
The days you have left to pay   
_

I moved my hands up to tangle my fingers into his thick, dark hair, pulling his mouth closer to mine, reveling in the feel of his mouth moving against mine. Tommy pulled me closer to him, pressing our bodies so close I wasn't sure where mine ended and his began. He ran his tongue over my lips, asking for entrance into me. I granted him it, wanting, no _needing_ more of him. His tongue swept into me, causing me to nearly moan when he expertly caressed the inside of my mouth.

_  
But you are not alone _

I could feel Tommy's hands roaming over my back, feeling my lines and contours through my sweater. My brain had long since stopped working, replacing all thoughts with a need I didn't even know I had. I felt my brain go hazier, my senses becoming more and more overwhelmed with his touch, taste, and smell. I felt my hands loosen their grip behind his head and wrap around his neck. His arms moved around me to wrap around my waist and pulling me closer to him, an action I didn't think was possible at this point, his thumbs working their way under my sweater and slowly massaging the flesh above my hips.

_When you're not safe at home  
_

I could faintly feel a burning sensation filling my chest and my head began to feel light-headed, but I didn't know if it was from him or lack of oxygen. I didn't care. I just needed more of him.

_  
And you're running back _

Tommy had other ideas though, and much to my disappointment, he pulled away from our kiss and rested his forehead against mine. I moaned as his mouth moved from mine and panted almost instantly, my body trying to recover from its oxygen deprived state. My eyes fluttered open and I met his gaze, his eyes filled with something I never saw in them before; lust.

"We should stop," Tommy said, his voice sounding tense. I was almost surprised when I felt disappointment wash over me. "or else I won't be able to," He said, his hands betraying his words as they continued to run up and down my back, only now in long lazy strokes, as if he didn't want to stop either.

"I don't want you to," I whispered, looking into his eyes, biting my lip nervously. Tommy's eyes darkened a bit in response and he moved and kissed me once again, causing my head to spin and I swear I could feel the world tilt as he did so. Tommy moved and I stepped back, almost stumbling from his strides before I felt my back press up against the wall behind us.

_  
Running back _

I whimpered in protest when his lips left mine, my eyes snapping open at the same time. Tommy turned his attention elsewhere, his hot lips kissing their way down my neck. I panted, trying to catch my breath and focusing on staying on my feet as my body seemed to melt under his hot mouth and soft, caressing touches. I felt his tongue lick the soft skin of my throat, causing me to moan at the sensation. He had me lost in a swarm of emotions as he continued to suck, nibble, and kiss the sensitive skin on neck. I could feel his hands feeling their way under my shirt, roaming over my stomach and back, his touch feather light, driving me crazy.

I felt him place a soft kiss on my neck, and nuzzle the spot a moment before he pulled back slightly, looking me straight in the eyes. I was breathless, could feel my panties beginning to get wet from arousal and didn't want him to stop what he was doing to me. Tommy bent down and kissed my swollen lips softly, his hands slipping from under my sweater to wrap around my waist. I returned the kiss, loving the softness in this one as much as I loved the passion from the last.

"I love you, Jude." Tommy whispered, pulling away from me slightly, his lips faintly brushing mine as he talked, and I felt my eyes flutter close at the feeling.

"I love you too," I breathed out, breathless from the kiss and the emotions filling me. I felt his calloused fingers touch my cheek before caressing it softly. I felt my breath hitch in my throat from his gentle touch and wondered how I had managed to do without it for so long.

_While you're off track _

I leaned forward and closed the space between us, one of my hands touching his cheek, mirroring his touch to mine. He kissed me back, deepening the kiss before running his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I granted without much hesitation. Our tongues dueled and hands continued to grope. His hands went to the bottom of my sweater and pulled it up. We broke apart long enough for me to raise my hands and for the article to go over my head before connecting once again, as if we couldn't live without the other's kiss. His hands ran over my body, exploring my curves without the sweater in their way, causing me to moan or shiver when he touched sensitive places.

With shaking fingers, I undid the buttons on his shirt and slid it from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor by our feet. I ran my hands down his chest, memorizing his build as I did so. Tommy moved his attention from my mouth and kissed my shoulder gently before his hands came to my sides, squeezing the flesh there gently.

_Looking for a hope _

"We should move this elsewhere." He murmured against my throat, causing me to shiver in response. Tommy ran his hands up the sides of my body and then back down again, eliciting a moan from deep within my throat. "I'll take that as a yes," He said, smiling at me a moment before kissing me. He moved before I could track it and before I knew differently, my legs were swept up from under me, causing me to cry out in surprise. I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck, and I felt his other arm supporting me behind my back. I relaxed into his arms as he carried me bride-style down the hall and into his bedroom. He set me down by his bed, my feet touching the floor again and his lips capturing my mouth in his again. I felt his hands fumbling with the button on my jeans and soon they were being pushed off my hips and I stepped out of them and kicked them away. I did the same to his pants and he tightened his grip on me as he lowered me carefully down on the bed, and moved to make ourselves more comfortable, pausing to touch and kiss as we did so. My arms wrapped around him and roamed over his back as he explored my body with his mouth, making me gasp and arch under him.

_Or a house to call your own _

Before I knew it, my bra was unhooked and gone, replaced by his hands and mouth. I could feel myself grow wetter as he worked my breasts, kissing, squeezing, licking and nibbling lightly. He drove me crazy with the sensations, making me moan and whimper in response to his teasing. I was lost in the sensations he made me feel and I only wanted more of this. More of him.

I grew bold as I slipped my hand under the waistband of his boxers, causing him to moan as I touched him, exploring his hard member, distracting him from his ministrations on my body as he focused on what I was doing to him. I could feel him growing harder as I touched him and Tommy stopped me, pulling my hand away before I was ready to. I pouted and he just grinned devilishly at me before he kissed me, his hand slipping into my panties and fingers brushing against my clitoris, causing me to moan. He continued to tease me with his fingers, stroking my clit but not doing what I wanted him to do. His mouth continued to kiss me, moving from my lips, trailing kisses down my neck and back again. I was lost in pleasure, not able to feel anything except how badly I wanted to have him inside me. I felt my eyes drift close, as his mouth returned to my breast, his tongue rolling around my peaked nipple as he slipped two fingers inside me. I heard myself let out something like a combination of a gasp and a moan, not expecting how good it made me feel. Soon I lost track of what his mouth was doing or where it was and could only notice his fingers slowly slipping in and out of me, causing me to moan uncontrollably.

_You need a phone _

When I grew close to my orgasm, Tommy removed his fingers, causing me to moan in protest. Tommy's fingers rested around the waist of my panties and he kissed me softly before pulling away. My eyes fluttered open and blinked everything into focus. I didn't even remember closing my eyes.

"You sure you want to do this?" Tommy asked me gently, caressing my cheek lightly. I nodded in response, unable to form words or coherent speech. Tommy seemed to understand and he kissed me again, his fingers beginning to pull my panties from me and I lifted my hips from the bed, helping him rid my body of the material. He pulled away from the kiss to remove my last article of clothing and then he did away with his. He reached over me and opened a drawer and pulled something from a drawer beside the bed, a condom. I watched him as he sheathed himself and positioned himself over me again. He caressed my cheek lightly as he kissed me softly, my eyes fluttering closed again.

Tommy began to slide inside of me, going slow, allowing my body time to adjust to him. It hurt, but it wasn't a bad kind of hurt, it was a pleasant kind of pain. I gasped when he filled me completely and I saw his worried eyes watching me. I gave him a small smile and reached up to caress his cheek, my hand shaking slightly from the pleasure I was in.

"I'm ok," I whispered, meeting his eyes. He didn't look too convinced, and waited a few extra moments for me. I reached down and pulled his head down to kiss him, wanting to feel all of him. Tommy kissed me in return, his kiss soft and loving before he began to slowly move in and out of me, slowly building a rhythm for both of us to move to. Pain gave away to pleasure and I was lost in it as my hips moved with his, our kisses keeping time with our thrusts. Our thrusts become harder and I moaned and gripped his shoulders as I felt my body tighten around him. A couple thrusts later, I was crying out as my orgasm hit, followed closely by Tommy's. He collapsed on top of me, his weight almost suffocating me but I didn't care. I think I might have melted into the bed. My body hummed and felt more alive than it ever had before. I felt like I was high without any aid of medication; a high only Tommy could ever give me. I reached up and played with the hair at the base of his neck, my fingers moving lazily and I felt him shiver in response.

Tommy slid out of me and rolled away from me. I shivered, suddenly feeling cold without him near me. He got up and left the room and I watched him go, wondering if I did something wrong.  
_  
You feel all alone _

He came back a moment later, carrying new sheets and I got up and helped him pull the old ones off and sat back down. Tommy smiled at me and got back in the bed, pulling me down on top of him. I couldn't help but smile at his actions and I lay my head on his shoulder as his arms circled around me and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes, feeling tired and hyper all at the same time. I felt his hands run through my hair, playing with the strands and I knew I didn't do anything wrong.

_Don't know where to start _

"Tommy," I whispered.

"Hm?"

I tilted my head up to look at him and he smiled lazily at me as he continued to play with my hair, twirling locks between his fingers.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being there," I started, touching his cheek.

_When you're falling apart _

"For the best birthday ever," I said with a smile. Tommy smiled back and leaned his head into mine, nuzzling me lightly and I felt my heart melt at his show of love.

"I'd do anything for you, Jude." Tommy murmured, his voice coming out husky and lower than usual. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said, smiling as I reached up and messed up his already mussed hair.

_And you need someone _

To my surprise, Tommy didn't say anything, just let me continue to run my fingers through his hair, causing it to stick up in more places than it already was.

_To hold your hand to cope _

"That feels good," Tommy murmured, closing his eyes as I ran my hands through his hair once again. I let my hand drop and he opened his eyes, and saw my confused look. "What?"

"Are you sure you're Tommy?" I said, jokingly with a laugh.

_You feel a little older _

Tommy didn't think so and my face fell when I saw his eyes darken slightly.

"Tommy, I was kidding." I said, kissing his cheek, but he didn't say anything in response. And I felt my heart sink.

_You need a shoulder _

"I know," he said, smiling at me, and I let out a shriek of surprise when he rolled us over so he was on top of me. He gave me a wolfish smile and started to tickle my sides. I shrieked again and couldn't help but laugh as he worked my sides. I tried to move away from him but he had my body pinned.

"Stop!" I managed to get out, laughing so hard I was crying and I couldn't breathe. Tommy didn't let up. " I. Can't. Breathe." I managed to get out but his fingers didn't stop.

"Say Tommy is the greatest and I'll stop." He told me, and I could hear his mirth in his voice.

"No," I managed to gasp out and as promised, he didn't stop.  
_  
Oh no _

After what felt like a million years, my throat burned from laughing and I couldn't see from the tears falling down my face and my nose was beginning to run from crying.

"OK, ok," I said and said the words. As promised, Tommy stopped tickling me and I lay gasping beneath him, trying to catch my breath and recover. I sniffled and reached up to wipe the tears that were still falling from my face. "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Tommy said, bending down to kiss me. He pulled away before I could respond to the kiss and looked into my eyes, his blue eyes glittering with mischief. "Move in with me." He stated, smiling after he said the words. I just stared stupidly at him a moment, completely at a loss for words.

"I…I uh…" I stammered, trying to get my brain to work again. Tommy's smile started to fall as I scrambled for the right words to say.

"You don't…we don't have to, if you don't want to, I just thought"

I cut him off by grabbing his face in my hands and pulling him down, kissing him deeply. Tommy returned the kiss after a slight hesitation. I pulled away from it and looked into his eyes.

"Yes." I stated. Tommy cocked his head to the side and looked at me quizzically. "Yes I'm going to marry you," I stated, kissing him. "Yes I'm going to make music with you." Tommy looked like he wanted to say something about my choice of words but he kept quiet. "And yes, I'll move in with you." I said, smiling. Tommy grinned at me and kissed me in response, his hands feeling me up. No words were spoken for a long time.  
_  
But you're not alone   
_

**The End **


End file.
